Women and engineer problem in marriage

[Delhi6]

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To be frank I do not feel comfortable at all with this kind of blatant racism towards Pakistanis. To explain my background, I am not from India and I am extremely blessed to be South Indian and hence I do not have this inherent anti Pakistani/Muslim baggage that I see many people having. And if I were to be really really honest, where I live now there are heaps and heaps and heaps of Punjabis both Indian and Pakistani and honest to God I do not see the difference between them. They are the same, ironically for me, a South Indian ethnic person, not an Indian national, they are all the same, culturally/linguistically, hell they even eat the same stuff! they are closer; those Punjabi Hindus/Sikhs/Muslims to each other than to my lot! This is the real Indian tragedy as far as I'm concerned. To be utterly racist on ones own kind. Then where is the hope for the rest of us!

Amala,

I will speak for myself but first tell me how do you attribute an Indians hostility towards Pakistan as motivated by racism. We are the same people as you say. So surely its not the race that motivates my hostility.

My hostility towards that artifice of a nation is due to What it represents and its inhabitants who have brought into that narrative lock stock and barrel. Even the most anglicised of them.

It is the very negation of the Idea of India and its reflexive anti India hostility is based on the false belief of Evil 'Hindu' India. It has no sense of nationhood except that it is not India. The day this hostility goes, the artifice that is Pakistan will unravel.

Add to it the continuous mayhem it has wrecked on India through terrorism like 26/11 in Mumbai and Bangalore blasts to name a few. This terrorism has ensured that even those in South India who didn't have the baggage of partition are now hostile to that artifice(Witness Prasad ji's statement).

Also the idea that Indian and Pakistanis are the same people(atleast the Punjus) was true in 1947. Today this myth is kept alive by woolly headed liberals in either bollywood or in Aman ki Asha brigade. Post 1947 both nations have had a different trajectory. Whatever be India's fault (there are many), we have been able to generate a sense of nationhood in some measure and the locus of that identity is internal.

As to your point that punjus on both side of the border are the same, well we may have the same genotype and phenotype. Even same language and culinary habits. However we are NOT the same people any longer. Not in any substantial sense. Sense of person hood goes beyond genetics. I can confidently say that 65 years after 15 August 1947, thanks to improved communication, greater physical mobility and shared popular culture ( cheesy as it can be bollywood is a major artery of national integration), an average punju in India is more likely to feel kinship with a Tamilian than with punjus on the other side of the border. I am not saying this for effect just because am posting on a board composed of predominantly Tamilians. I mean it and have felt it in some measure. Both the nations have moved apart that much.

So I dont think the hostility is because of racism.

For the bolded portion, the hope is idea of India and constitutional nationalism.

 

[prasad1]

To be frank I do not feel comfortable at all with this kind of blatant racism towards Pakistanis. To explain my background, I am not from India and I am extremely blessed to be South Indian and hence I do not have this inherent anti Pakistani/Muslim baggage that I see many people having. And if I were to be really really honest, where I live now there are heaps and heaps and heaps of Punjabis both Indian and Pakistani and honest to God I do not see the difference between them. They are the same, ironically for me, a South Indian ethnic person, not an Indian national, they are all the same, culturally/linguistically, hell they even eat the same stuff! they are closer; those Punjabi Hindus/Sikhs/Muslims to each other than to my lot! This is the real Indian tragedy as far as I'm concerned. To be utterly racist on ones own kind. Then where is the hope for the rest of us!

I have personal problem with that community (yes I am biased). I witnessed first hand the plight of refugee from E. Pakistan. I survived 3 hindu-muslim riots. We had to cross a minority controlled neighborhood every day to reach our school. As a child I was totally petrified, particularly on Fridays and Muharram days. Even today after 50 years that fear has not gone. So please understand the bias from my shoes. I agree that todays ....... may not be yesterday's .........

But in the world most of the terrorists belong to one religion and only one religion.

I have worked in Garment districts of London, yes Hindu and Muslims work together. Would I eat in a beef slaughter house, NO I would rather go hungry. I have done it in the past, I will do it again.
I hired a Pakistani as manager for my hotel. So I do not discriminate in public life, but I do discriminate in private life.

So Amalaji, I am not asking you to understand my position, just give me some wiggle room.

I too think Lions and Zebra should be friends, but would not happen in the wild in general.

 

[amala]

Discriminate all you want in your private life Prasad Sir, but the moment you post your hate in a public forum (and you haven't yet...if you check again I was replying to Delhi's post) blatant vitriol or something and I feel uncomfortable, surely I am either going to reply or complain.

 

[amala]

You know what I think is really funny : The moment people's kids go out and marry from castes and communities the parents cannot stand! I actually find that funny! I am very sorry . It must show Providence has a wicked sense of humour or what.

 

[Delhi6]

You know what I think is really funny : The moment people's kids go out and marry from castes and communities the parents cannot stand! I actually find that funny! I am very sorry . It must show Providence has a wicked sense of humour or what.

It sure does. I have seen it happen way too many times.
That said, which part of my post you found racist. Maybe vitriolic but then I dont have a very high opinion of Pakistan(by that I dont mean muslims) but racist???

 

[amala]

I used the word racism very loosely. Sigh! do we really have to argue over semantics and be so pedantic? Ok ethnocentric then. Happy?

 

[Delhi6]

Lol. Ok. Though to be really pedantic for me its not even ethnocentric. Pakistan, like India is made up of multiple ethnicities. Its just the idea of Pakistan and to some extent its personal. My friends from school have faced bullets from terrorists sponsored by that state(mercifully no fatalities). Also during Kargil war I was trapped in Leh (Ladakh). I saw coffins of soldiers being brought from battlefield to airport. I was 20 and it left a big impact on me.For India Kargil was a stab in back. Since then I have a really low opinion of Pakistan.
Anyhow it is OT for this thread and your point is well taken. Will desist.

 

[Raji Ram]

​This thread is deviating a lot! Please go :focus:

 

[kunjuppu]

dear raji,

a thread is like a river. it follows the path of least resistance. and in times of flooding, it breaks the banks and all hell breaks loose.

i think, that is the beauty of any thread. which is why, i am always reluctant for censors to bring a thread back to the straight and narrow path .. some threads may be intended so by the OP initiators..but in this case, the initiator is seldom seen here. so he/she is probably watching the show and having a bit of fun.

let it go. ..and nature will take its normal progression..to its natural conclusion. please dont ask me where. and when. thank you good lady

 

[Raji Ram]

......... let it go. ..and nature will take its normal progression..to its natural conclusion. please dont ask me where. and when. thank you good lady ...

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

I know that any thread will have twists but often the hot arguments put the 'brahma mudichchu'!

 

[renuka]

On a personal basis I have no problems with anyone of any race.

But even though I am a Msian citizen and politically there is no problems with Msia and Pakistan but I feel very sad when I read how Indian soldiers are tortured by Pakistani soldiers.


That is inhumane...I remember reading once that a Pakistani soldier was killed by Indian soldiers during a shoot out and his body was treated with full respect and was sent back to Pakistan with a note that he fought like a hero.

I am not supporting any country here but there is something called being human..one does not need to gorge out the eyes of an opponent..cut his tongue,cut of his privates and then slaughter his neck slowly and painfully.

This is what I dislike about Pakistan.

But as far as I know my mother cant stand them cos she keeps lamenting that she lost her home town Lahore!

 

[Raji Ram]

........ But even though I am a Msian citizen and politically there is no problems with Msia and Pakistan but I feel very sad when I read how Indian soldiers are tortured by Pakistani soldiers..........

Dear Renu,

Humans tend to be more evil day by day! Have you not heard how Tamil Ezham fighters were tortured?

It is exactly the same way as described in your post! Sometimes I feel the world is the worst place to live in!

But where else can we live? out:

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

Humans tend to be more evil day by day! Have you not heard how Tamil Ezham fighters were tortured?

It is exactly the same way as described in your post! Sometimes I feel the world is the worst place to live in!

But where else can we live? out:

Dear RR ji,

This I really did not know...I am shocked to know this...didn't expect this from a Buddhist country like Sri Lanka.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

You had just entered your teens when this happened.

See this link: wiki/Nadarajah_Thangathurai

 

[rishikesan]

It is now amply clear that we have lost track of the Topic & it is difficult to continue the Topic for arriving at a consensus. Because of the simple reason more enthusiastic in the Forum , unintentionally offer comments & it takes U turn ? As Kunjuppu has mentioned , let it take its own course & let us Enjoy .
Rishikesan

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Back to topic:

An incident reported this week in the media:
A 29 year old unmarried girl working in a Govt. school, who has a scar in her hand due to an accident, was looking for a suitable marriage alliance. She came across a 32 year old widower with 3 children and they progressed towards marriage much to the chagrin of her parents. Just before the wedding date was to be fixed, he wanted to meet her to discuss some issues with her. During the discussion he told her that no one in his family likes her and that he would be embarrassed to take her out with the scar in her hand. He also mentioned that his marriage is fixed with another girl. He reportedly told the girl that he has however ‘developed love’ for her. So, he suggested that she stays some distance away from him and that he would ‘pay a visit’ to her in the evenings. This girl is hurt with the indignity meted out to her by a person who is inferior to her in looks, education and financial status. She decided not to cut him off from her life. Luckily for her she was not married to this person.

 

[Raji Ram]

Back to topic:

An incident reported this week in the media:
A 29 year old unmarried girl working in a Govt. school, who has a scar in her hand due to an accident, was looking for a suitable marriage alliance. She came across a 32 year old widower with 3 children and they progressed towards marriage much to the chagrin of her parents. Just before the wedding date was to be fixed, he wanted to meet her to discuss some issues with her. During the discussion he told her that no one in his family likes her and that he would be embarrassed to take her out with the scar in her hand. He also mentioned that his marriage is fixed with another girl. He reportedly told the girl that he has however ‘developed love’ for her. So, he suggested that she stays some distance away from him and that he would ‘pay a visit’ to her in the evenings. This girl is hurt with the indignity meted out to her by a person who is inferior to her in looks, education and financial status. She decided not to cut him off from her life.Luckily for her she was not married to this person.

"She decided not to cut him off from her life."

Cut him off or not to cut him off?

 

[Raji Ram]

The incident quoted by Siva sir shows that not only 'engineeris' but other girls also have problems in getting proper match! :sad:

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Psot 666:
If I were to imitate Santhanam’s style in the movie “Boss engira Bhaskiran”,
“Those who mention 4 letter word escape, but to narrate what I face for using a 3 letter word… yoyoyoyo….”:yell:
Thanks anyway for pointing out the mistake. It should read “The lady decided to cut him off from her life”.


Post 667:
Quite true!

 

[amala]

Dear Renu,

Humans tend to be more evil day by day! Have you not heard how Tamil Ezham fighters were tortured?

It is exactly the same way as described in your post! Sometimes I feel the world is the worst place to live in!

But where else can we live? out:

They showed the horrific documentary here called Killing Fields showing how brutally the Sinhala Army tortured and raped even corpses of Tamil women. Who says Buddhists cannot be hegemonic and dogmatic. Just look at Myanmar where daily now Buddhists along with their "peaceful" monks are killing the Rohingya minorities. Sri Lanka's Killing Fields - Sri Lanka's Killing Fields - YouTube

 

[renuka]

They showed the horrific documentary here called Killing Fields showing how brutally the Sinhala Army tortured and raped even corpses of Tamil women. Who says Buddhists cannot be hegemonic and dogmatic. Just look at Myanmar where daily now Buddhists along with their "peaceful" monks are killing the Rohingya minorities. Sri Lanka's Killing Fields - Sri Lanka's Killing Fields - YouTube

So I guess India is Sandwhiced between 2 neighbours who have inhumane armies...up North Pakistan an down South Sri Lanka.

 

[Raji Ram]

Psot 666:............
Post 667:
Quite true!

It is better to quote a line of the post than the number of that post!

Sometimes the number changes if a member decides to delete his / her post on second thoughts!! :decision:

 

[rishikesan]

The incident of 29 year old & the father of 2 children , narrates the Man[s uneqivocal arrogance & deserves to be condemned in the Society

Rishikesan

 

[prasad1]

It is better to quote a line of the post than the number of that post!

Sometimes the number changes if a member decides to delete his / her post on second thoughts!! :decision:

I never thought of that. A good one RRji.

 

[Raji Ram]

I never thought of that. A good one RRji.

My experience here taught this!