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[Question] Will a priest agree to perform a proper Tamil bhramin style wedding, for an interreligious couple? What sort of additional ceremonies will it involve?

I am a girl in my mid 20s, and will soon be marrying a boy from another religion (Islam). We have decided to have both styles of weddings and I will not be converting. Our families (somewhat begrudgingly) have agreed to the wedding, but we are struggling to find a priest who will be able to perform the wedding. He also doesn’t speak any Tamil, so hopefully a priest (either in Mumbai, Delhi or Chennai) who speaks Hindi or English as well. Although the Hindi speaking bit is not a mandatory requirement.

I know this will probably receive a lot of judgement and hate on this forum, but thought I’d try my luck here as a last resort. Additionally, apart from the typical kalyanam rituals, is there anything else that needs to be done (such as some specific function for him to be able to wear a poonal?)

We are vadakalai iyengars.

Thank you in anticipation, and apologies if this post offends any
 

prasad1

Active member
Marriage is a contract.
It has legal ramification. and some cultural bindings.
It has been made into a religious and social function.

You cannot expect a religious priest will only know the rituals involved in one religion.
So, in this case a Hindu priest can perform HIS style of function. You can always find a priest who can be persuaded to conduct the ceremony.

Then you hire a different priest for the other religion. and that priest will perform the marriage according to his/her religion if that religion allows it.

Wish you best of luck.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Marriage is a contract.
It has legal ramification. and some cultural bindings.
It has been made into a religious and social function.

You cannot expect a religious priest will only know the rituals involved in one religion.
So, in this case a Hindu priest can perform HIS style of function. You can always find a priest who can be persuaded to conduct the ceremony.

Then you hire a different priest for the other religion. and that priest will perform the marriage according to his/her religion if that religion allows it.

Wish you best of luck.
Actually if she had asked this question in a different religion forum, the replies would have been different.


I am starting to suspect the poster just wanted to rile up some feathers but backed off when most of us gave rather neutral non conservative replies.
Sir,
I do not agree with you.
You joined this group and accepted the rules of the forum.
You are an invited guest; you should not dictate.
Let the original poster and the Administrator decide the fate of the thread.
Dear Prasad ji,
He too shared his opinion.
I feel his opinion is valid.
Honestly she should also try posing the same question in other religions forum.
The replies would be totally out of this world.

I am not a fanatic of any religion but one should respect all religions and not make use of both religions in this case just for the heck of it.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Marriage is a contract.
It has legal ramification. and some cultural bindings.
It has been made into a religious and social function.

You cannot expect a religious priest will only know the rituals involved in one religion.
So, in this case a Hindu priest can perform HIS style of function. You can always find a priest who can be persuaded to conduct the ceremony.

Then you hire a different priest for the other religion. and that priest will perform the marriage according to his/her religion if that religion allows it.

Wish you best of luck.
Correction..
Marriage is not a contract in Sanathana Dharma.
Marriage is a contract in Islam.

Both have differing views of marriage and we should respect both.


So since you feel marriage is a contract then we seemed to have solved the problem..she should follow her husbands religion and live happily.
 

prasad1

Active member
Correction..
Marriage is not a contract in Sanathana Dharma.
Marriage is a contract in Islam.

Both have differing views of marriage and we should respect both.


So since you feel marriage is a contract then we seemed to have solved the problem..she should follow her husbands religion and live happily.
A contract is a legal term. It can be enforced by the laws of the land, and you can use the courts to enforce it.

I believe religion is personal to an individual. I do not believe in any group religion. When one tries to impose their will on others then only conflict starts.
For all contracts and interpersonal relations, the laws of the land should be determining factor. Religion should not enter social, cultural, or legal matters.

Marriage or any other relationship should be dictated by the laws of the land.
let us say I enter into a business partnership, Religion has no saying in that. Similarly, marriage or cohabitation (without marriage) is governed by the laws of the land. Religion should not have a say in the laws governing marriage. The government of India is slow to enact a uniform law for all of India. They have allowed Muslim women some reprieve in the matters of Talak and divorce.

A bill criminalizing talaq-e-biddat, or triple talaq, was passed in India on July 30, 2019. The bill was generally regarded as a victory for Muslim women in India.

You can have a religious ceremony for any purpose. I did a grahpravesham ceremony for my house in the USA. It has no legal ramifications, but it has social significance for me.

You always talk about Islam as if it matters to all. To me, it has no meaning at all (i respect it for the people involved) just as I wear a head scarf when I go to Gurudwara.

It is pity that India does not have a uniform personal law. In the USA bigamy is ill-legal for all humans. That is the law of the land.
 
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prasad1

Active member
In the USA a religious wedding is not a legal wedding unless certified by a state-sanctioned person who signs the marriage certificate. That is the proper legal marriage that will withstand all legal challenges. We got out temple priest that authority.
 

renuka

Well-known member
In the USA a religious wedding is not a legal wedding unless certified by a state-sanctioned person who signs the marriage certificate. That is the proper legal marriage that will withstand all legal challenges. We got out temple priest that authority.
Wow, USA seems far behind Malaysia in marriage registration.

In Malaysia, temple priest,church priests and buddhist temple monks themselves are registrar of marriages sanctioned by the National Department of Registration.

I am surprised that you said " we got our priest that authority".
 

prasad1

Active member
Wow, USA seems far behind Malaysia in marriage registration.

In Malaysia, temple priest,church priests and buddhist temple monks themselves are registrar of marriages sanctioned by the National Department of Registration.

I am surprised that you said " we got our priest that authority".
No, I think you are misrepresenting. A governing agency has to approve a any person who can sign a marriage certificate.

I as an individual cannot claim to have that authority to sign a legally binding marriage certificate. I am sure even in Malayasia that must be true.

Let us say I am a practicing Voodoo religion and I ama Priest of that religion, I do not think I will qualify as a person who can sign a marriage certificate.

Our temple priest did not get the legal authority to sign a valid marriage certificate till he filled out Paperworks from the state, and President of the Temple had to sign as the employer.
 

renuka

Well-known member
No, I think you are misrepresenting. A governing agency has to approve a any person who can sign a marriage certificate.

I as an individual cannot claim to have that authority to sign a legally binding marriage certificate. I am sure even in Malayasia that must be true.

Let us say I am a practicing Voodoo religion and I ama Priest of that religion, I do not think I will qualify as a person who can sign a marriage certificate.

Our temple priest did not get the legal authority to sign a valid marriage certificate till he filled out Paperworks from the state, and President of the Temple had to sign as the employer.
I have noted that USA is a bit backward in some aspects.
But otherwise its quite advanced.
No, expressing displeasure is an opinion, but inciting others to boycott a thread is not an opinion. Let us leave it at that.
Most of us have even requested for closure of thread too..i guess boycotting a thread is fair enough.
 

renuka

Well-known member
A contract is a legal term. It can be enforced by the laws of the land, and you can use the courts to enforce it.

I believe religion is personal to an individual. I do not believe in any group religion. When one tries to impose their will on others then only conflict starts.
For all contracts and interpersonal relations, the laws of the land should be determining factor. Religion should not enter social, cultural, or legal matters.

Marriage or any other relationship should be dictated by the laws of the land.
let us say I enter into a business partnership, Religion has no saying in that. Similarly, marriage or cohabitation (without marriage) is governed by the laws of the land. Religion should not have a say in the laws governing marriage. The government of India is slow to enact a uniform law for all of India. They have allowed Muslim women some reprieve in the matters of Talak and divorce.

A bill criminalizing talaq-e-biddat, or triple talaq, was passed in India on July 30, 2019. The bill was generally regarded as a victory for Muslim women in India.

You can have a religious ceremony for any purpose. I did a grahpravesham ceremony for my house in the USA. It has no legal ramifications, but it has social significance for me.

You always talk about Islam as if it matters to all. To me, it has no meaning at all (i respect it for the people involved) just as I wear a head scarf when I go to Gurudwara.

It is pity that India does not have a uniform personal law. In the USA bigamy is ill-legal for all humans. That is the law of the land.
I am only talking of Islam in this thread cos its within the context of discussion.
 

prasad1

Active member
In Malaysia, temple priest,church priests and buddhist temple monks themselves are registrar of marriages sanctioned by the National Department of Registration.
Even in Malasia:
There must be a process of the National Department of registration to get the authority to sign marriage certificate. I am sure they just do not give it to anybody.

Similarly, in the USA each State has a process to grant that signature authority. In the USA generally people are law abiding.
 

prasad1

Active member
I am only talking of Islam in this thread cos its within the context of discussion.
You can talk about Islam as you are knowledgeable about it. I did not stop you from Talking anything you want.
I only know a little bit about Santana Dharma. Majority in this forum may also fall in that category.

We are digressing from the topic of the thread. We can discuss it by email or PM. Thanks
 
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