Recently I was talking to a sasthirigal for holding a pucca Brahma Vivaha where the Bride is not a Brahmin. He told me that this is not considered a marriage at all and so only a few procedures can be performed. None of them important. I could understand his stand. I did not argue with him. I got another sasthirigal who would do what I wanted.
This throws light on an important point. We all talk about traditionalists, orthodox and reformists. But the correct term should be Conformists and Non-Conformists.
The Society expects people to conform to the rules set by it. Its survival depend on it. It can not afford to be seen encouraging non-Conformists.
Thje conformist has a much easier life. The rules are laid down. He does not have to think and take a decision. Decision making leads to stress. Abiding by the rules of the Society avoids atressful situations. The Brahmins follow the rules laid down by Dharmasasthras. Dharmasasthras lays down the duties of the Brahmin from Birth to Death. So you follow the rules. Even when there are things which are not laid down by the sasthras, the Conformists follow the crowd. If every one you know send their children to Padma Seshadri, you also do it. If all the children you know study Computers, you also make your children do it. All children go to U.S. So you make that the goal for your children.
The Conformists fall prey to Societal pressures and pressures from Peer groups.
Why? Because Life is much, very much easier for the conformists.
The Society and the world has become a better place to live in because of the non-Conformists. Adi Sankara, Ramanujacharya, Ramana Maharishi and others were all non-conformists.
None of them were initially accepted by the general Society.
Coming back to my original discussion with the sasthirigal, what I wanted to do was non-Conformism. I wanted to break the rules of the Brahmin Society. When I asked the sasthirigal I wanted him to be a party to the breaking of the rules of the Brahmin Society. How can that be done? It is almost like a Criminal asking the Police man to cooperate with him.
Many posts in this forum fall under this category. Someone wants to break the general laid down norms of the Brahmin Society. He asks for sasthric sanction. Even if he is able to dig out a sasthra which sanctions such a procedure, it would never be accepted by the general society.
Some time back there was a discussion about Inter-Brahmin marriage. The people who advocated that got hit from both conformists and non-Conformists. For the Conformists who are particular even about sub-caste this was sacrilegious. For some non-Conformists this was not enough.
Please do not mistake Conformism with Orthodoxy. If I send my children to the Vedha patasala the general Brahmin society would consider me to be a Fool if not worse. Appyya Dikshita is reported to have performed the Bajpeya homa. The Brahmin society was opposed to it. You may perform daily Puja and homa in your home. But that will never get you accepted in the section of the society which considers itself orthodox. The question is whether you do what the others do? Even if you do anything more you are a non-Conformist. I remember the time long time back when one of my Brahmin neighbors questioned me angrily about my not performing Shraddha. Both my parents were alive at that time. He did not even bother to ask for that information.
About reform minded people, nothing is enough for them. Many of them think of revolutionary changes over night.
Please remember:
The Society expects people to conform to the rules set by it. Its survival depend on it. It can not afford to be seen encouraging non-Conformists.
So do not seek approval from Society for breaking it's rules.
This throws light on an important point. We all talk about traditionalists, orthodox and reformists. But the correct term should be Conformists and Non-Conformists.
The Society expects people to conform to the rules set by it. Its survival depend on it. It can not afford to be seen encouraging non-Conformists.
Thje conformist has a much easier life. The rules are laid down. He does not have to think and take a decision. Decision making leads to stress. Abiding by the rules of the Society avoids atressful situations. The Brahmins follow the rules laid down by Dharmasasthras. Dharmasasthras lays down the duties of the Brahmin from Birth to Death. So you follow the rules. Even when there are things which are not laid down by the sasthras, the Conformists follow the crowd. If every one you know send their children to Padma Seshadri, you also do it. If all the children you know study Computers, you also make your children do it. All children go to U.S. So you make that the goal for your children.
The Conformists fall prey to Societal pressures and pressures from Peer groups.
Why? Because Life is much, very much easier for the conformists.
The Society and the world has become a better place to live in because of the non-Conformists. Adi Sankara, Ramanujacharya, Ramana Maharishi and others were all non-conformists.
None of them were initially accepted by the general Society.
Coming back to my original discussion with the sasthirigal, what I wanted to do was non-Conformism. I wanted to break the rules of the Brahmin Society. When I asked the sasthirigal I wanted him to be a party to the breaking of the rules of the Brahmin Society. How can that be done? It is almost like a Criminal asking the Police man to cooperate with him.
Many posts in this forum fall under this category. Someone wants to break the general laid down norms of the Brahmin Society. He asks for sasthric sanction. Even if he is able to dig out a sasthra which sanctions such a procedure, it would never be accepted by the general society.
Some time back there was a discussion about Inter-Brahmin marriage. The people who advocated that got hit from both conformists and non-Conformists. For the Conformists who are particular even about sub-caste this was sacrilegious. For some non-Conformists this was not enough.
Please do not mistake Conformism with Orthodoxy. If I send my children to the Vedha patasala the general Brahmin society would consider me to be a Fool if not worse. Appyya Dikshita is reported to have performed the Bajpeya homa. The Brahmin society was opposed to it. You may perform daily Puja and homa in your home. But that will never get you accepted in the section of the society which considers itself orthodox. The question is whether you do what the others do? Even if you do anything more you are a non-Conformist. I remember the time long time back when one of my Brahmin neighbors questioned me angrily about my not performing Shraddha. Both my parents were alive at that time. He did not even bother to ask for that information.
About reform minded people, nothing is enough for them. Many of them think of revolutionary changes over night.
Please remember:
The Society expects people to conform to the rules set by it. Its survival depend on it. It can not afford to be seen encouraging non-Conformists.
So do not seek approval from Society for breaking it's rules.