What Shastra or our Vedas says on mixed marriage

[SANDHYAV]

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[SANDHYAV]

 

[SANDHYAV]

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear Sravna,

But this also come with a drawback ..that is its not easy to give up the grip of religion/tradition even when its time to move on to the ultimate reality.

That is why it is said that the grip of Sattva Guna is the hardest to give up.

One might feel that if he/she gives it up everything comes crumbling down...but in reality giving up everything will eventually cause a crumble that reveals the core of Truth.

Satvaguna does not hold on to any thing tightly. So there is nothing for it to give up or fear the crumbling down that may result by giving up. A satvagunamayi is always able to see things in their proper perspective. It knows that in the core of truth there is absolutely nothing. LOL.

 

[CHANDRU1849]

Actually after I joined forum and got to know the mindset of TBs in India....I was wondering "how on earth can any intercaste marriage of the Tamil Brahmin guy and the Non Tamil Brahmin girl ever work out?

Its scary to even think how many rules and regulations,traditions,rituals,celebrations to follow..so many Maamas and Maamis to be nice too.....Samiyo! not possible yaar!

The success rate of Iyer Boys marrying NBs from Saivite background (Mudaliar, Pillai, Nadar, Mukkulathor, Chettiar etc) and Iyer boys marrying Vaishnavite girls, especially from Iyengar, has to be disclosed only by members who have actually come across such cases.

 

[sun244]

Friends,

Thanks for the responses. Some more info:

Girl parents seems ok since this girl is rejecting all the boys and she is aged 26.

The Boy's Father family had another inter-caste marriage (Madhwa Brahmin Boy married non-brahmin girl). Purohitar did not allow the inter-caste married boy to get in the pooja room that has Saligrama. Also, another Madhwa Purohitar did not allow the Father of intercaste married boy to perform any Shrartha/Thithi rituals.

Thank You
Sun

 

[renuka]

A satvagunamayi is always able to see things in their proper perspective. It knows that in the core of truth there is absolutely nothing. LOL.

I am no Sattvagunamayi..but I left out the core of truth is nothing portion on purpose cos I did not want to create an impression that its Sunya finally..BTW I have some interesting news for you..in fact I came online right away to tell you this..

Just heard a Scientist on BBC say that interbreeding of Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals could have been the cause for certain diseases like Crohn's disease,diabetes and even depression and we humans at present might actually be more Neanderthal than what was once thought and there could exists a variation too in the percentage of this Neanderthal genes among us present day humans.

Then I told my husband "OMG that means the Vaagmi gene theory could also be right".

He asked me "what is that?? What is the Vaagmi gene theory"

I said "no time now..let me type in Forum and I will explain to you later"

So here I am..typing this..so going by the new finding it looks as if the "Varnasankar" of the Neandenthal and Homosapien lead to diseases..so is there more behind Varnasankar than we actually know?

I cant seem to find what I just heard from BBC online..may be cos its new..once its available online may be we can start a thread and talk all about Captain Caveman..Neanderthal,Homosapien and all.

Ok logging off...need to tell my husband all about the Vaagmi Gene theory.

 

[Vaagmi]

I am no Sattvagunamayi..but I left out the core of truth is nothing portion on purpose cos I did not want to create an impression that its Sunya finally..BTW I have some interesting news for you..in fact I came online right away to tell you this..

Just heard a Scientist on BBC say that interbreeding of Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals could have been the cause for certain diseases like Crohn's disease,diabetes and even depression and we humans at present might actually be more Neanderthal than what was once thought and there could exists a variation too in the percentage of this Neanderthal genes among us present day humans.

Then I told my husband "OMG that means the Vaagmi gene theory could also be right".

He asked me "what is that?? What is the Vaagmi gene theory"

I said "no time now..let me type in Forum and I will explain to you later"

So here I am..typing this..so going by the new finding it looks as if the "Varnasankar" of the Neandenthal and Homosapien lead to diseases..so is there more behind Varnasankar than we actually know?

I cant seem to find what I just heard from BBC online..may be cos its new..once its available online may be we can start a thread and talk all about Captain Caveman..Neanderthal,Homosapien and all.

Ok logging off...need to tell my husband all about the Vaagmi Gene theory.

You are again displaying the strong rajo guna in your personality.

1. The theory about the genes is not vaagmi theory. It is Rob Boyd's theory. He is the professor in the faculty of Anthropology Department of the UCLA. Please tell your husband this piece of info too. I do not believe in plagiarism.

2. The para 2 of your post above is nothing new. It is known fact for quite some time now. I do not know why you are suddenly excited about a repetition of the obvious. So your news is not interesting at all.

Remember to come back and tell us what was your husband's reaction to your excitement.

 

[wrongan]

Namakaras

This is for one of my closest Madhwa Brahmin boy aged 26. He is well settled and earning good salary working for a MNC. Unfortunately, he is in love with a non brahmin girl and they want to marry. Boy is nice enough not to do this without his parent permissions. His parents are against the marriage but they are asking him to go ahead with the marriage with a condition that they cannot participate in all future functions.

I am trying to help the situation and looks like both the Boy and Girl will not marry anyone else.
Can some esteemed/learned people help my following query. The question is about what Shastra says given the above situation:

If a Rig Veda Madhwas Brahmin boy marries non Madhwa girl (in this case non-brahmin too), does both Son & Father forego the rights to do rituals such as Thithi ...etc.. Is this true?

Thank You

Sunder

பெற்றவர்களின் எண்னத்தை மதிக்காமல் ,நேற்றுவரை அவர்களின் அரவணைப்பில் வாழ்ந்த வாழ்க்கை முறையையும் மதிக்காமல் தான் சுகம் மட்டுமே தேவை என்று நினைக்கும் ஒரு பையன் ஏன் திதி செய்ய ஆசைப்படுகிறான்?வினோத மான முரண்பாடு.காதல் தான் முக்கியம் என்று நினைத்த்தால் அருகில் உள்ள ஆற்றிலோ குளத்த்திலோ இருவருமாக தலை முழுகிவிட்டு ஒரேயடியாக திதி செய்து விட்டு மனைவியுடன் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்க்கையை நடத்த்த வேண்டியது தான்.இதற்க்காக சாஸ்திரத்த்த்தை வம்புக்கு இழுக்கவேண்டாம்.

 

[mskmoorthy]

Here is the BBC article that Renukaji was mentioning in her post

BBC News - Neanderthals gave us disease genes

Related article
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/30/science/neanderthals-leave-their-mark-on-us.html?_r=0

The lead author of this study is Sriram Sankararaman http://sriramsankararaman.com/

 

[tbs]

பெற்றவர்களின் எண்னத்தை மதிக்காமல் ,நேற்றுவரை அவர்களின் அரவணைப்பில் வாழ்ந்த வாழ்க்கை முறையையும் மதிக்காமல் தான் சுகம் மட்டுமே தேவை என்று நினைக்கும் ஒரு பையன் ஏன் திதி செய்ய ஆசைப்படுகிறான்?வினோத மான முரண்பாடு.காதல் தான் முக்கியம் என்று நினைத்த்தால் அருகில் உள்ள ஆற்றிலோ குளத்த்திலோ இருவருமாக தலை முழுகிவிட்டு ஒரேயடியாக திதி செய்து விட்டு மனைவியுடன் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்க்கையை நடத்த்த வேண்டியது தான்.இதற்க்காக சாஸ்திரத்த்த்தை வம்புக்கு இழுக்கவேண்டாம்.

hi
i like words.....kaadhal is choice.......sastram chappakkattu...................so unneccessary sastram not required in own choice ....

exactly.....do watever...dont bring the SATRAM in the middle of choice.....sasatram based on kulam/gothram/aathu pazhakkam....

 

[kunjuppu]

பெற்றவர்களின் எண்னத்தை மதிக்காமல் ,நேற்றுவரை அவர்களின் அரவணைப்பில் வாழ்ந்த வாழ்க்கை முறையையும் மதிக்காமல் தான் சுகம் மட்டுமே தேவை என்று நினைக்கும் ஒரு பையன் ஏன் திதி செய்ய ஆசைப்படுகிறான்?வினோத மான முரண்பாடு.காதல் தான் முக்கியம் என்று நினைத்த்தால் அருகில் உள்ள ஆற்றிலோ குளத்த்திலோ இருவருமாக தலை முழுகிவிட்டு ஒரேயடியாக திதி செய்து விட்டு மனைவியுடன் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்க்கையை நடத்த்த வேண்டியது தான்.இதற்க்காக சாஸ்திரத்த்த்தை வம்புக்கு இழுக்கவேண்டாம்.

i agreee. love and vedas dont mix.

one who choses love, should not care about scriptures. and vice versa.

 

[tks]

பெற்றவர்களின் எண்னத்தை மதிக்காமல் ,நேற்றுவரை அவர்களின் அரவணைப்பில் வாழ்ந்த வாழ்க்கை முறையையும் மதிக்காமல் தான் சுகம் மட்டுமே தேவை என்று நினைக்கும் ஒரு பையன் ஏன் திதி செய்ய ஆசைப்படுகிறான்?வினோத மான முரண்பாடு.காதல் தான் முக்கியம் என்று நினைத்த்தால் அருகில் உள்ள ஆற்றிலோ குளத்த்திலோ இருவருமாக தலை முழுகிவிட்டு ஒரேயடியாக திதி செய்து விட்டு மனைவியுடன் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்க்கையை நடத்த்த வேண்டியது தான்.இதற்க்காக சாஸ்திரத்த்த்தை வம்புக்கு இழுக்கவேண்டாம்.

I tend to disagree with the sentiment..

It is better to marry with someone who has similar long time values and objectives. Being from similar background helps. I am purposely not using caste names to make a general point. Often a person may come across someone who they may get attracted to in today's world where men and women mingle while going to school or at work place.

Parents may advice against marrying outside their background due to their fear that long term disagreement could create issues (but not out of some narrow minded complex). But we are all care-takers and do not own our children.

If a child does want to marry outside the community then the most mature thing to do is to accept the reality and move on.

The idea of doing Karma the way I read it is not that a boy is focusing on Sastras but instead is expressing that his affection for parents have not gone away just because he is infatuated with someone outside the community.

I think mature parents can play strong role of guiding even if the child wants to marry outside the community

 

[prasad1]

i agreee. love and vedas dont mix.

one who choses love, should not care about scriptures. and vice versa.

Once we moved out of our villages and joint family style of agrarian society the norms for relationship changed. Even people of same caste, and language but from different part of the world found that location (place of growing up) mattered in individuals outlook. With our community being so mobile, we can not stay in the past, we have to move with times.

 

[tks]

Namakaras

This is for one of my closest Madhwa Brahmin boy aged 26. He is well settled and earning good salary working for a MNC. Unfortunately, he is in love with a non brahmin girl and they want to marry. Boy is nice enough not to do this without his parent permissions. His parents are against the marriage but they are asking him to go ahead with the marriage with a condition that they cannot participate in all future functions.

I am trying to help the situation and looks like both the Boy and Girl will not marry anyone else.
Can some esteemed/learned people help my following query. The question is about what Shastra says given the above situation:

If a Rig Veda Madhwas Brahmin boy marries non Madhwa girl (in this case non-brahmin too), does both Son & Father forego the rights to do rituals such as Thithi ...etc.. Is this true?

Thank You

Sunder

In my view the issue is for parents and the boy coming to terms with what is in the best interest of the boy.

It seems parents are consenting but are unable to move forward due to incorrect understanding of so called Shastras.

There are orthodox people to whom rules are the most important and are ready to sacrifice their valued relationship to live by some rules. If the parents are in that state they are unfortunately ignorant and nothing much can be done.

If the family is traditional and are intent on following the *intent of shastras* there are really no conflicts.

But parents and the boy & girl have to evaluate if their feelings are just infatuations only. If so it can disappear very quickly. If they really long for each other the best the parents can do is to bless the boy, participate and conduct the wedding by mutual consent with both families and look ahead.

There are narrow minded people - the foundation on which our tradition rests on is very broad minded. Only ignorant will be unable to see this.

So my recommendation to help is to get the parents and the boy educated on the intent of many of the rituals and traditions they care about after ensuring that the girl is a good fit in all other areas other than the so called caste.

 

[prasad1]

In my view the issue is for parents and the boy coming to terms with what is in the best interest of the boy.

It seems parents are consenting but are unable to move forward due to incorrect understanding of so called Shastras.

There are orthodox people to whom rules are the most important and are ready to sacrifice their valued relationship to live by some rules. If the parents are in that state they are unfortunately ignorant and nothing much can be done.

If the family is traditional and are intent on following the *intent of shastras* there are really no conflicts.

But parents and the boy & girl have to evaluate if their feelings are just infatuations only. If so it can disappear very quickly. If they really long for each other the best the parents can do is to bless the boy, participate and conduct the wedding by mutual consent with both families and look ahead.

There are narrow minded people - the foundation on which our tradition rests on is very broad minded. Only ignorant will be unable to see this.

So my recommendation to help is to get the parents and the boy educated on the intent of many of the rituals and traditions they care about after ensuring that the girl is a good fit in all other areas other than the so called caste.

I agree with this view, and all parents should look at their own value system, and not apply their value on present generation.

 

[renuka]

You are again displaying the strong rajo guna in your personality.

Vaagmi ji,

I am entitled to display Rajo guna and even Tamo guna cos I do not carry Sattva genes!LOL

What yaar...most important fact you forgot!

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

Dear Mr.SUN244,
I refer to your OP No1.
I strongly recommend that Yourself,your Madhwa Friend and his parents see the following Videos in 'You Tube'and come to a
Positive decision.
1.Srirangam Radhu Grandson SAI PRASAD Aaush Homam(5.33minutes)
2.Srirangam Radhu Grandson Karthik Prasad Aaush Homam-1 (2.58minutes)
3.Srirangam Radhu Grandson Karthik Prasad Aaush Homam-2 (3.28 minutes)
Every Parents desire and wish is that their Children should lead a Happy Married Life.

 

[Raji Ram]

One recent post form Sun is in my mail box and yet to appear here! It seems some Madwa prohits do NOT allow the NB girl to

enter the poojA room and some do not allow the person who has a NB d i l to perform rituals! The prohits seem to be adamant!

Now a days, it is 'saugariyaththukku sAsthram'!

The conclusion: Prohit has to be changed to another one with 'modern views'! eace: