Want to perform Mother's shradham by self

[Suguna Venkat]

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We are indeed very grateful for this website. We are a Brahmin couple living and working in nairobi kanya. My Mother in law's "shardham" is falling this Thurday (28th). Initially we had thought that we could go to the temple here and perform same, however although my husband's boss is Indian Hindu he refuses to grant leave for same . We are deeply troubled now as my husband is the only child to a mother who is no more but one to whom we are eternally indebted and we would like to fulfill our obligations towards her . How can we perform the shradham ourselves in our home before my husband goes to his office? A detailed explanation will be greatly appreciated .

 

[renuka]

Initially we had thought that we could go to the temple here and perform same, however although my husband's boss is Indian Hindu he refuses to grant leave for same .

I am shocked to read this line..does your husband's boss realize he is obstructing a religious obligation?

 

[Suguna Venkat]

Obviously for him the obligation is ours and not his problem, its ok, I guess the fulfillment is when we have been able to perform same against all odds. Would greatly appreciate detailed procedure to perform same please.

 

[renuka]

Obviously for him the obligation is ours and not his problem, its ok, I guess the fulfillment is when we have been able to perform same against all odds. Would greatly appreciate detailed procedure to perform same please.

There is member by the name KGopalan ji.
He has started many threads on rites and rituals.
You can't send him a Private Message since you are new to forum.
I have just sent him a PM about your situation...hopefully he is free and responds(cos i have not seen him active here for sometime).

Meanwhile I hope other learned members will advise you.

regards
renuka

 

[Suguna Venkat]

Thank you Renuka its very helpful of you , I hope too that other learned members will advise, God Bless

 

[zebra16]

We are indeed very grateful for this website. We are a Brahmin couple living and working in nairobi kanya. My Mother in law's "shardham" is falling this Thurday (28th). Initially we had thought that we could go to the temple here and perform same, however although my husband's boss is Indian Hindu he refuses to grant leave for same . We are deeply troubled now as my husband is the only child to a mother who is no more but one to whom we are eternally indebted and we would like to fulfill our obligations towards her . How can we perform the shradham ourselves in our home before my husband goes to his office? A detailed explanation will be greatly appreciated .

As your husband will not be able to take leave, during regular Shraddham is out of question. The alternatives are (i) doing hiraNya Shraddham; (ii) doing Shraddham in the correct tithi during mAhaleya paksham; and (iii) both (i) and (ii)

Just google search for "hiraNya shraddham" or "hiranya shraddham procedure" and you will find a lot of info. Alternatively you may search in tamilbrahmins.com website itself. The following link is one of the search results: http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/rituals-ceremonies-pujas/3813-shraddham-hiranya-shraddham.html

 

[Suguna Venkat]

As your husband will not be able to take leave, during regular Shraddham is out of question. The alternatives are (i) doing hiraNya Shraddham; (ii) doing Shraddham in the correct tithi during mAhaleya paksham; and (iii) both (i) and (ii)

Just google search for "hiraNya shraddham" or "hiranya shraddham procedure" and you will find a lot of info. Alternatively you may search in tamilbrahmins.com website itself. The following link is one of the search results:

Dear Sir,
Thank you for your reply, I did google same but could not find the detailed procedure and what preparations we must undertake for same. In any case I had also contacted "vaadyar.com" and they have e mailed me saying that they will guide us through skype. I am hoping that this will work for us . I am so grateful to the Brahmin community and also very proud that we are all using technology to help each other in our situations. At a time when people seem to have scant regard for our feelings and duties i feel these are all God-sent helping us perform our duties to the best possible manner . Thank you!

 

[narayananms]

dear all

i celebrated my grandson's upanayanam recently. we had performed ganapathi
homam/navagraha homam on the day before the upanayanam. in the evening
we performed udhagasanthi. we belong to yajur veda/abhasthamba sutra.

some of the invitees mentioned that the vadyar has omitted/forgotten to chant
some of the mantras/sooktas during the above events.

incidentally, upanayanam of my another grandson takes place on 5th july. i want
to know what are mantras/sooktas to be chanted during these events so that i
may politely ask my vadyar to chant the mantras.

with wishes

nms

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear zebra !
it is ok if he performs shraddha or hirenyam.for both you require some brahmin to receive the same.is brahmins available there ? secondly ,the karma are stipulated to be carried in our karma bhoomi only & performing them in foreign country is only to get our own satisfaction and will not be serving any purpose.when you cross the ocean ,we can not follow each & everything in letter &sprit.are we getting Vazhakkai&plantain leaves as well as beatel leaves .kindly clarify.
in my opinion instead of getting confussed ,as a memory day they can feed the most deserving starving person.if there very sincere they can arrange leave in advance &visit india for fullfilling their Karma
guruvayurappan

 

[Suguna Venkat]

dear zebra !
it is ok if he performs shraddha or hirenyam.for both you require some brahmin to receive the same.is brahmins available there ? secondly ,the karma are stipulated to be carried in our karma bhoomi only & performing them in foreign country is only to get our own satisfaction and will not be serving any purpose.when you cross the ocean ,we can not follow each & everything in letter &sprit.are we getting Vazhakkai&plantain leaves as well as beatel leaves .kindly clarify.
in my opinion instead of getting confussed ,as a memory day they can feed the most deserving starving person.if there very sincere they can arrange leave in advance &visit india for fullfilling their Karma
guruvayurappan

Dear Mr.Guruvayoorappan,

While I am not knowledgeable enough about doing only on "karma bhoomi" to us it is important to fulfill our duties and obligations wherever we are. plantain grows in my own garden here and betel leaves can be purchased too. poor feeding isnt a problem either what we find difficult is to get a priest , which i am hoping we have solved to do thru skype. Its not always that we can apply for leave exactly on day of thithi especially with children who have school etc. For us it is a matter of answering our own conscience which according to us is what will give us peace of mind and good sleep. Irrespective of the country we are in, duty towards mother or ancestors cannot end and crossing the seas should not be an excuse especially in a country where there are no religious restrictions.

 

[zebra16]

dear zebra !
it is ok if he performs shraddha or hirenyam.for both you require some brahmin to receive the same.is brahmins available there ? secondly ,the karma are stipulated to be carried in our karma bhoomi only & performing them in foreign country is only to get our own satisfaction and will not be serving any purpose.when you cross the ocean ,we can not follow each & everything in letter &sprit.are we getting Vazhakkai&plantain leaves as well as beatel leaves .kindly clarify.
in my opinion instead of getting confussed ,as a memory day they can feed the most deserving starving person.if there very sincere they can arrange leave in advance &visit india for fullfilling their Karma
guruvayurappan

Thank you for your inputs Sri Guruvayurappan.

One way of looking at the rituals is that all of them are from self satisfaction point of view only. Even after conducting Shraddham for my father for the last 23 years and amavasai tarpanam for all these years, none of my pitrs have appeared even once, even in my dream to appreciate or scold. When shastras say something and if our mental satisfaction lies in doing the same, let us do it is my motto.

Secondly regarding the availability of vadhyars and brahmanas to accept tamboolam etc. please read the opening post of the lady. She wanted solution only on account of non sanction of leave to her husband. So I presume other things are in place. In face I know that brahmanas are in place in Uganda and Tanzania (ex-patriate office going brahmanas) and they mutually act as brahmanas for each other's functions. My brother was in Uganda, hence this knowledge.

As regards feeding the needy or starving persons, one is most welcome to do it. Either as an addition to Shraddham or in lieu of it, if there is no mental dis-satisfaction of having skipped the shraddham.

Fourthly, one cannot doubt the sincerity just because leave is refused. To give you an example, about 3 years ago the vadhyar who conducts my father's shraddham (he is stationed at Mumbai) could not come because all trains/flights were cancelled due to cyclone warning. No amount of pre-planning can take care of such exigencies.

Now coming to karma bhumi etc. my take is that it is a smriti injunction. I remember having read in manu dharma shastra all the places other than "aryavarta" are not karma bhoomi. But just think about it.... Adi Sankara, Ramanuja, Madhava.. all the three stalwarts are from South which was not karma bhoomi as per Manu. As you are from kerala (I think) you would be knowing the death rituals performed by Adi Sankara after being a sanyasi, in contravention of such injunctions. So there may be some exceptions, which we are not aware.

Because you sought my clarifications, I have given my opinion. I apologise for the long post.

Regards

 

[Sunil.K]

" How can we perform the shradham ourselves in our home before my husband goes to his office? A detailed explanation will be greatly appreciated "

Were you able to perform shradham on your own? I am travelling soon & at the same time would like to perform Masigam for my beloved father. Do you have any leads or links for self-performance. Although some may oppose this as dilution, I have read that in Ramayana, Lord Rama performed Shradham for his father on his own. Thanks for the reply.

 

[gsirsri]

Hiranya Sraddham

My dear Suguna Venkat,
If you let me know your e-mail address I can guide you how to perform Hiranya Sraddham. It takes about half hour. And it is a proper & due procedure laid down in sastras.
My e-mail: [email protected]
Love.
G.S.

 

[kgopalan]

Is saturday is holiday for you. If it is a holiday for you you can do it on saturday. Only you have to take milk.coffee,tea,sweets, fruits, rava sooji; rava kanji with sugar on 28th and 29th. don't take salt. This is equivalent forfasting. and by living for two days like this you can do on 30th.

If sunday is the only holiday for you , you may have fasting on saturday also and you can do on 1st july.For those who have forgotten the thithi they can do on krishna patcha ashtami, or ekaadasi day or on amavasai day.

If you are not able to do with meals to purohits, you may give raw rice and plantain kaai to the purohits and even it is also not possible you can give them more money . this will finish very quickly.

For manthras ''vadhyar .com will help you. hope you are having priest to receive rice and plantain kai, can be finished within half an hour.

Giri trading agency is selling pithru pooja book and aapasthamba paarvana sradha prayogam written by soma deva sarma is also available in giri trading in tamil and also in sanskrit. buy it on online. this will also help you. feel free to ask for any doubts.

 

[tbs]

Is saturday is holiday for you. If it is a holiday for you you can do it on saturday. Only you have to take milk.coffee,tea,sweets, fruits, rava sooji; rava kanji with sugar on 28th and 29th. don't take salt. This is equivalent forfasting. and by living for two days like this you can do on 30th.

If sunday is the only holiday for you , you may have fasting on saturday also and you can do on 1st july.For those who have forgotten the thithi they can do on krishna patcha ashtami, or ekaadasi day or on amavasai day.

If you are not able to do with meals to purohits, you may give raw rice and plantain kaai to the purohits and even it is also not possible you can give them more money . this will finish very quickly.

For manthras ''vadhyar .com will help you. hope you are having priest to receive rice and plantain kai, can be finished within half an hour.

Giri trading agency is selling pithru pooja book and aapasthamba paarvana sradha prayogam written by soma deva sarma is also available in giri trading in tamil and also in sanskrit. buy it on online. this will also help you. feel free to ask for any doubts.

hi
its perfect ....thanks kgopalan sir...even we use pitru pooja book for sradham...it is available in tamil and sanskrit..very useful...

i regularly use the same book in USA....even though here purohits are available....sometimes we have to learn DO IT YOURSELF

system for our mental satisfaction....whenever you come to come india with your husband....try to do GAYA SRADHAM....

still feels more satisfaction......

 

[Suguna Venkat]

Dear all,

Thank you all very much for your learned and wise suggestions, it gives us much needed support and Gopalan Sir, really it came as a pleasant information that we could also do it subsequently. however we have arranged for a priest through Vaadyar.com- Sunil I will strongly recommend as this person is in the USA and he will coordinate his time to yours . He gave me a detailed list of things required and the preparations we needed to make (not complicated at all), he will guide us through skype on thursday (which is still wednesday midnight for him). At the end of it all though today i believe that once you wish and will for something with sincerity God himself will always show the way no matter who tries to obstruct .

 

[guruvayurappan]

post 11#
dear zebra !
very nice reply and i really like this.i am from tamilnadu .not only sri adisankara ,but also Pattinathar who have performed the last rites of their mother.i am also visiting foreign countries &the doubts arise out of that also clarified by your answer.My vathiyar in Trichy
said as per sastra ,once you visit foreign country ,you have to have re upanayanam.
guruvayurappan

 

[ganesan.rajkumar]

Dear All,

I am following the posts with regard to doing "Srartham / Hiranyam" by self when Vadhyar is not available. In fact I was searching for a solution to this for many years as I live in Yemen and there is no temple or priests are available. All posts given by various members are very informative. I learnt from the posts that through "Pithru Pooja" book we can do the Pithru Karyam by self.

I have one doubt: I do "Tharpanam" regularly (including Mahalaya Bhaksham). Can I do a Hiranyam during the coming Mahalaya Bhaksham for my late father as the "Thithi" has already passed this year?

Also, I would appreciate if Ms. Suguna could share her experience over the Skype (Vadhayar.com) so that members like me also could engage.

Thanking you all again...

 

[Sunil.K]

Dear all,

Sunil I will strongly recommend as this person is in the USA and he will coordinate his time to yours . He gave me a detailed list of things required and the preparations we needed to make (not complicated at all), he will guide us through skype on thursday (which is still wednesday midnight for him). At the end of it all though today i believe that once you wish and will for something with sincerity God himself will always show the way no matter who tries to obstruct .

Thanks so much. I wish you all the very best & please share your experience. Shri KGopalan has also been very kind to guide us!

 

[renuka]

post 11#
My vathiyar in Trichy
said as per sastra ,once you visit foreign country ,you have to have re upanayanam.
guruvayurappan

But doesn't these type of thinking actually set limitations on God itself?

Like saying that only a certain geographical region is Karmabhoomi.

Then what is the use of using the word Brahman to describe God?

Brahman means vast..that too vastness beyond description and unfathomable vastness.

I somehow feel there is some deeper hidden meaning to this.

May be in ancient times..travel took long time and it was mainly by land and going out of our geographical region at times denied us access to clean water and situations that made it impossible to perform the duties prescribed to the twice born.

You see its like some computer games where you have to play it daily to maintain the points you have reached otherwise you lose the position and points attained.

So I guess may be in cases of duties and obligation of twice borns..once one is vested with a sacred thread maintenance mode is mandatory so that the person won't slack in his obligations and the tradition is maintained.

So all rules and regulations must have come in later to maintain tradition.

 

[Suguna Venkat]

Dear Sri ganesan and Sri Sunil,
The ceremony is on thursday and I will certainly share the experience . Renuka i completely agree with your view points , I am so grateful to this forum for all the guidance and moral support extended .

 

[ganesan.rajkumar]

Dear Sri ganesan and Sri Sunil,
The ceremony is on thursday and I will certainly share the experience . Renuka i completely agree with your view points , I am so grateful to this forum for all the guidance and moral support extended .

Thank you very much Madam and much obliged.

Rgds,

G Raj Kumar

 

[gsirsri]

A very informative / educative thread.
Can Sri/Smt Renuka open a new thread on the points he/she has indicated at #20 above? That would be very meaningful.
I am glad the Venkats have solved the problem. Ms Suguna says, "At the end of it all once you wish and will for something with sincerity God himself will always show the way no matter who tries to obstruct". That is very true.
Love.
G.S.
26/6/12

 

[renuka]

Can Sri/Smt Renuka open a new thread on the points he/she has indicated at #20 above? That would be very meaningful.

Dear sir,

That was just a sort of guessing what the deeper significance might be.
It is commonly thought that one loses his caste when he crosses the sea.

I always thought may be when one crosses the ocean of samsara he sheds his caste cos he is one with Brahman.
So is that what is really meant as one loses his caste when he crosses the sea?

Cos you see Ravana was a Brahmin and he was crossing the sea often to go to Kailash for his worship of Lord Shiva.
Ravana was recognized as a Brahmin by Lord Rama till the very end.

 

[guruvayurappan]

Thanks so much. I wish you all the very best & please share your experience. Shri KGopalan has also been very kind to guide us!

dear friends !
if there is will there is way.one more advantage of skype.one of our member posted about evidya for uplift of rural student through skype &we can also help in the same way .the vadyar in our locality can help the person in far off places . i chanted mantras for my son in MEXICO during avaniyavittam in the same manner and he performed all the rituals through SKYPE video call .we used to show the important function like karthikai, ganapathy homam etc. thro' skype when he is not present with us.
gurvayurappan