on 13th day i have visited nearby temple. my question is whether i can visit temples and worship after the 13day rituals.
Strictly, as per our sastras one should not visit any temple for one year (till the completion of the aabdeekam) after demise of parent. But these days our tabras are very much temple-crazy and so there will be many different versions with exceptions and all that. The moral of all these is "do whatever you want, but first find out some vadhyar/pundit/book/website which will justify what you do".
This is the type of hypocritical attitude which our people show towards our customs.
Mr. Sangom Sir,
Your post #2 was to the point.
I have respect for your views, I may question the motive, like in this post#4. The first paragraph is advice, what is the meaning of 2nd paragraph? What attitude are you talking about? IMO that sentence was not needed.
Dear Shri Prasad,
When parent dies and the eldest son performs the rites, the sastras lay down that for one year there is "gṛhasītakaṃ" or aSuddhi pertaining to everything in the house, including the inmates. This is because it is the belief that the dead parent's soul takes one earth year to completely get rid of all its attachments to this world and it becomes an inmate of the pitṛlokam only on performing of the sapiṇḍīkaraṇaṃ rite during the first anniversary of death. Till about 50 or 60 years ago, if father or mother dies the people from the sons' families of all the sons, (not only the one who does the rites during the first 13 days) did not go to any temple till the abdeekam was over. This was because the society then was so compact, so binding, each one knew everyone else and if they found anyone with gṛhasītakaṃ entering a temple, he/she would be considered a blot on the community, violating sastras; nobody dared to face such a blot of ஆசாரமில்லாத்தவன்.
But over the decades, people (and I am talking here about tabras only) became increasingly enamoured of temple-going and less and less interested in the earlier brahmin way of life of தேவூஜை (தேவபூஜை) at home, etc. The vadhyars and other referral authorities, sensing the public mood, started various 'interpretations' like temples without dhwajasthambhams are exempt, one may go up to the dhwajasthambham even in temples with those, only kuladeivam temples, temples on hill tops etc., should be avoided, and so on. So now people are visiting most temples even during the one year period. When you question these people, citing old customs, they simply say "our vadhyar/guruji/ swami told us that there is no objection to going to xyz temples and for us that is the final word."
I wrote "This is the type of hypocritical attitude which our people show towards our customs." to refer to this sort of attitude only; on one side people pose as though they are all very very sastra-abiding brahmins wherever it suits them and just throw to winds the sastras if they so prefer. To me this looks hypocritical. Hope you will agree.
In one of our relatives houses, the old man around 80 years passed away.
His children regularly everyday in the morning they adorn his photograph
with a garland and prostrate his photograph before they proceed out. Their
mother used to say to the grand children that Grandpa i.e. Thatha is with us.
All of us should pray him before we start any of our activity for successful
completion and he will certainly bless us. This practice made them not to
remember the temple for an year atleast.
But sir.. now sapindikaranam is done on 12th day itself
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