[Question] Tilodakam and kuzhi tarpanam

[Vipran]

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1. My mother has sadly passed away. My elder brother is doing the rituals in India. I feel left out and want to do something that I can for my mAtuh. Can I establish a pashaanam in my backyard and do tilodakam tomorrow (7th day), or is that to be done only in the place in India where death occurred?

2. Vadhyar is establishing the stones only on the 9th day in India. Can I join by establishing a paashanam in my backyard at least on 9th day or even that is not allowed.

3. I am certain I can do kuzhi tarpanam along with other gnatis on 10th day. Will the mantrams for gnatis (as obtained from this site) be slightly different for me being a son? I have an Apara Prayogam book - but those mantrams are for the son doing it on the spot with the actual stones. Not sure if I can repeat those karta mantrams as a remote performer for a simple kuzhi.

4. My hair has grown long in this lockdown period and I would like to closely shave it (as close to mundanam as possible) before the 10th day by visiting the local barber shop. Is that allowed? My brother had total mundana vapanam after the dahanam. Assuming, I am not allowed to visit the barber, for me, as a son, is vapanam after the 10th day prabhutabali, or before the kuzhi tarpanam (as done by gnatis)? We are Samavedis.

 

[kgopalan]

YOU MUST DO ONLY THILOTHAKAM ON 10TH DAY. IN YOUR HOUSE WHERE YOU ARE STAYING NOW.

no paashanam. for you. you can repeat only those kartha manthras. have shaving only on 10th day before kuzhi tharpanam.as done by ghatis. the mantra is same to all.

I have given there in this forum for yajur vedham aapasthampa soothram. slightly it will vary for sama vedam. change your poonal on 11th day. kindly write here as per your saama vedham book the kuzhi tharpana mantras and proceedure which will be helpful for other sama vedhis at their needful time.

change ayanam, ruthu, month, thithi, day, and star gothram on their respective places in kuzhi tharpanam in the attachement.

 

[Vipran]

Thanks gopalanji. Vadhyar has recommended that I do it with a kal on 10th day, and do upastanam to it once done. Normally kal is not established on 10th day, only on odd days. Maybe vadhyar himself is confused - he also says no need to do, if you are overseas, and elder brother is doing in India. Even my wife is afraid of kal (especially with no local expert vadhyar to advise on how to dispose it), and says why don't you do with koorcham. Maybe I will tell vadhyar that I will do with koorcham like otehr gnyatis. You are right, mantrams are not anything special for SV - it is like dahana janita kshud trshNA dAha tApa upashamanArttham, pretA aapyAyArttham, pretA tRptyartham.... and prajapatyka krichrams for sthapanam, tithi vara dosham, actual tarpanam, etc.