The relevence of Upanayanam

[Brahmanyan]

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This week I got two invitations to attend "Upanayanam" ceremonies. Both are from affluent Brahmin families. The functions are organized in big marriage halls. I want to ask some questions to our members. How relevant the "Upanayanam" functions are? Apart from exhibiting our Caste identity what purpose it will serve for the youngster who is not going to study Vedas or Hindu scripture? Most of us do not even perform Sandyavandanam.
I welcome the opinions of our learned members on this important subject.
Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[kunjuppu]

brahmanyah,

this week i too got invited to one. parents, son in the usa, poonal in chennai july.

knowing the parents, the maternal grandparents - i had the same queries. but in the interest of family peace, i held my tongue.

big hall. big tamasha.

and yes.

no boxed gifts please!!

 

[CLN]

I too attended recently an Upanayanam in one of my close relatives' family. It was done in a very grand style, very lavishly, in a big mandapam. There were decorated menu cards for the sumptuous items for the Breakfast, Lunch etc. through a big caterer. The reception and dining hall attending girls reminded me of some reputed airline staff one finds in an airport, all with jackets (with their names running in their name strips in the jackets just like the running subtitles at the bottom of the screen in most TV channels!) and tight miniskirts! The interesting thing about this function is that the "VATU" was hardly a boy of 8 years and all the formalities were carried out as per the prescribed procedure. The family does have an ancestral background of vedic scholars, though no one from that family, at present, is in that line worth mentioning. Another speciality in this function was a lecture on Gayathri Manthram and the importance of Upanayanam, delivered for half-an-hour, even as the function was going on, by a scholar, widely believed to be an authority on Dharma Shastras! (He, in fact, appears regularly on weekends in one of the very popular Bhakthi channels, answering several Shastrams and Sampradayams related questions and is well-known to most orthodox Tabra viewers!

 

[kunjuppu]

CLN,

i forgot to tell you the number of flavours of the invitation

- traditional tamil
- english
- modern one as invited by the boy
- evening concert
- special one for naandhi party (close relatives only)

 

[ganeshrev]

Some relatives who conducted this function in grand way , when I posted the question of austerity - replied "Anyway we do not have a daughter and we do not have the 'chance ' to spend for marriage and hence this grand function!

 

[CLN]

There is an ironic twist to the matter in the case of the lavish Upanayanam I attended. The family people are very much devoted to Kanchi Mutt. In fact, the invitation, also printed in a grand style, does show a blowup photo of Kanchi Mahaperiyava on the front page. The reputed scholar whom I have referred to in my post, is also close to the Mutt. He has been appaluded by Mahaperyava himself once as an acclaimed authority on shastras. The only thing somewhat jarring in the whole story is that Mahperiyava has strongly exhorted followers to conduct Upanayanams only as a pure vedic ritual, without much fanfare!

 

[anandb]

My personal opinion on this is if people have the money to spend let them spend it as long as the rituals part is given prime importance as that is the major part of a Upanayanam. There are a lot of people who make a living as suppliers and support staff for these kind of functions-cooks, flower vendors, vegetable vendors, decorators and so on. If everyone starts doing Upanayanam at homes most of these people will go out of business. With money power growing in India, it is inevitable that it is spent on events like this but striking a balance is more important than altogether being austere.

Also not doing Sandhyavandanam is not an excuse for not doing poonal. One never knows when one may start doing it again in life. I know a lot of people who start doing it in their late 30s to 40s and continue doing so. I am one of them as well.

 

[kunjuppu]

Some relatives who conducted this function in grand way , when I posted the question of austerity - replied "Anyway we do not have a daughter and we do not have the 'chance ' to spend for marriage and hence this grand function!

revathi,

too bad i was not there. these idiots, would never even, in their current frame of mind, think of offering to help out in the marriage of their son. still the same old mind set.

recently, only family offered 50/50. except the boys' side were so rich, that their 50 was 25 lakhs (no kidding). the poor girls's side could afford only 5 lakhs, and ended up selling a plot of land to fund the wedding.

i was hard on the girl's mother as to why she did this - especially when the boy's parents came to her house to 'ask' for the girl.

it was a simple matter of gauravam for her. i was floored.

 

[subbudu1]

There is a belief associated with Upanayanam. If one believes in this there is no place for all the other show. I seriously fail to understand the desire for lavishness in this occassion. Marriage, yes, but why do you want to throw around money for this event.
I really dont know. Upanayanam can be conducted in a simple style preferably at home with close relatives attending.

There was this gentleman in my family circles who conducted his son's upanayanam in a very simple manner not even a mandapam was booked. It was sad that the ladies in the house had to comment behind the back , that why this kind of stinginess had to be followed. Do we ever learn?

 

[kunjuppu]

anand,

you just brought out the next phase of my thoughts here.

incidentally the jews have a 'bar mitzvah' for the coming of age and initiation into jewry for the boys. and to be fair enough, there is, 'bat mitzvah' for the girls.

like us, their initiation these days, is an occassion for money spent.

in the early to mid 1900s, when there was more leftist idealism in the common jew (atleast i believe so), most parents eschewed this practise. their children, much later in life, reasserted this jewishness, by holding their own bar mitzvahs.

anand, that is one option that we have. that way, conducting the poonal now, in the hope that something of this ritual rubs off into the child, for later germination, is but a forlorn hope, and not wedded to the reality or real purpose of the ritual. no?

re your economic arguement might hold some water. but would not educating a poor brahmin child, in the name of all the money spent on a poonal, make more economic sense.

having said all the above, i agree, that poonal is a private function exclusively to be decided for the sons by the parents. especially these days of single son family, it is an occassion for get togethers, as even weddings (& funerals) appear to come far apart.

if the parents want to splurge their newly earned wealth on something extravagant, let it be so. but atleast have some heart for the less fortunate. make an announcement to contribute for some charity and exhort that the gifts be cash only, to be donated towards some public good.

best of both the worlds.

also, now a days, with girls only families, should we not have something equivalent for girls. definitely not the 'coming of age puppinatha neerattu vizha'. that one is an abomination, and is increasely given up by enlightened folks from other tamil groups as well.

something more enlightening. perhaps high school graduation?

 

[subbudu1]

There are a lot of people who make a living as suppliers and support staff for these kind of functions-cooks, flower vendors, vegetable vendors, decorators and so on. If everyone starts doing Upanayanam at homes most of these people will go out of business. With money power growing in India, it is inevitable that it is spent on events like this but striking a balance is more important than altogether being austere.

I am not objecting to the custom of Upanayanam itself. It is a matter of religious belief. But the very nature of this belief is opposed to lavishness? This does not create the right atmosphere for the child's interest in the custom. Further many families spend beyond their means to satisfy the ego of their relatives. Isnt it just for the relatives that we have the big pandal and whatever else that needs to be spent. Those who are rich beyond limits - it is upto them. Why not use this extra money in child education or some orphanage- some punyam for your child, is that too much to ask for? If you have too much money it is a different thing altogether.

 

[Brahmanyan]

There is an ironic twist to the matter in the case of the lavish Upanayanam I attended. The family people are very much devoted to Kanchi Mutt. In fact, the invitation, also printed in a grand style, does show a blowup photo of Kanchi Mahaperiyava on the front page. The reputed scholar whom I have referred to in my post, is also close to the Mutt. He has been applauded by Mahaperyava himself once as an acclaimed authority on shastras. The only thing somewhat jarring in the whole story is that Mahperiyava has strongly exhorted followers to conduct Upanayanams only as a pure vedic ritual, without much fanfare!

Dear Sri CLN,

Acharyas have given many guidelines to the followers time and again, like leading an austere life, avoidance of hoarding, compassion towards havenots, and against use of silk (பட்டு) etc. But I am sure that very few understand and follow them.

Well, coming to the subject, I found the purpose of wearing Yagnopaveetham in the Sankalpa Sloka itself, which states:

"Mama Shroutha smartha vidhi vihitha nithya karma sadhachara

anushtana yogyatha sidhyartham (jaata mruthaasoucha janita

prayaschithartham ) Brahma tejobhivrudhyartham

Yagnopaveetha dharanam karishye"

But, my original doubt , what relevance this has got to the present day Brahmins like me, who do not perform any "nithya karmas", stands unanswered.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[CLN]

Brahmanyan: what relevance this has got to the present day Brahmins like me, who do not perform any "nithya karmas", stands unanswered.

Not only the Yagnopaveetha Dharana Mantram, even the annual Upaakarmaa ceremony also emphasizes nityakarmaanushtanam which most of us (including myself) do not perform. Honestly, the threads we wear are just threads, not all that sacred, as we call them!

 

[subbudu1]

Dear Sri CLN,

Acharyas have given many guidelines to the followers time and again, like leading an austere life, avoidance of hoarding, compassion towards havenots, and against use of silk (பட்டு) etc. But I am sure that very few understand and follow them.

Well, coming to the subject, I found the purpose of wearing Yagnopaveetham in the Sankalpa Sloka itself, which states:

"Mama Shroutha smartha vidhi vihitha nithya karma sadhachara

anushtana yogyatha sidhyartham (jaata mruthaasoucha janita

prayaschithartham ) Brahma tejobhivrudhyartham

Yagnopaveetha dharanam karishye"

But, my original doubt , what relevance this has got to the present day Brahmins like me, who do not perform any "nithya karmas", stands unanswered.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

I hold the thread in great esteem. Think about it the moment something binds you to a duty which is good for the world then it is sacred. It needs no further explanation. Atleast in my case I am bound to certain good things and the thread stands as an oath. Psychologically it helps me in the same way I take care not to dirty the thread. It reminds me off my oaths.

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Poonool or Upanayanam Party

Upanayanam is an occasion to know one's own level v/s one's comuunity of friends and relatives. It is also somewhat like political 'Iftar' party where enemies become friends and some friends become enemy,too. There is no religious devotion to the goings on. You very well know that the 'upanayanamed' boy is not going to go hat in hand to seeking "bhavati biksham dehi". All aunties clamour to give 'bhiksha' in this symbolic event but would never think of needy person. Oh, yes, it is all festival if you have the money. Many parents themselves would want to conduct it prompted by others. The height of ignorance of parent can be understood by the following: As is customary the purohit asks the parent in the middle of the function "what is boy's gotra"? As the parent was surveying the assemblage, "mine is so and so gotra, but I do not know my son's gotra"!! This did happen actually. Parents of once vaidheeha parampara do not tell the boy to know and to repeat his gotra!. All is well if all goes well!

 

[biswa]

I am curious: anybody know why in picture books of the epics, they pretty much show everybody: Ram, Lakshman, Hanuman, Arjuna, Krishna and even Ganesha sporting the upaveetam? AFAIK, most of them were not Brahmins. Were those more liberal times?

 

[CLN]

I am curious: anybody know why in picture books of the epics, they pretty much show everybody: Ram, Lakshman, Hanuman, Arjuna, Krishna and even Ganesha sporting the upaveetam? AFAIK, most of them were not Brahmins. Were those more liberal times?

Upanayanam was a ceremony for all castes and every one wore upaveetam! Over the years, only brahmins started sporting it regularly and others discarded it as an unnecessary everyday wear. Even now, on special occasions like while offering pindam to ancestors on Aadi, Thai Amavasai etc. Kshatriyas, Vaisyas etc. do put on an Upaveetham, only to keep it safely away for the next occasion! In the North, still many kshatriyas and Vaisyas do wear them even today. The day is not far off, as it appears, that Brahmins too will discard them like others, as most brahmin boys who live in foreign countries and in metros in India do not wear them. For, those of us who do not perform nityakarmanushtaanam, wearing an upaveetham has no much significance, IMHO, and we do so only just to avoid unwanted comments from our own relatives and acquaintances!

 

[Brahin]

Upanayanam was a ceremony for all castes and every one wore upaveetam! Over the years, only brahmins started sporting it regularly and others discarded it as an unnecessary everyday wear. Even now, on special occasions like while offering pindam to ancestors on Aadi, Thai Amavasai etc. Kshatriyas, Vaisyas etc. do put on an Upaveetham, only to keep it safely away for the next occasion! In the North, still many kshatriyas and Vaisyas do wear them even today. The day is not far off, as it appears, that Brahmins too will discard them like others, as most brahmin boys who live in foreign countries and in metros in India do not wear them. For, those of us who do not perform nityakarmanushtaanam, wearing an upaveetham has no much significance, IMHO, and we do so only just to avoid unwanted comments from our own relatives and acquaintances!

Then its better not to wear if its just show piece. At least we must respect the sacred thread.
But all caste will wear wear one thread finally ...Yama Dharmaraj noose!!

 

[CLN]

Then its better not to wear if its just show piece. At least we must respect the sacred thread.
But all caste will wear wear one thread finally ...Yama Dharmaraj noose!!

There is no disputing your logic, Shri Brahin!

Some thing, any thing, gains significance only by the way it is generally put to use. Even in the temples, the idols / moorthiswaroopams get sanctified at the time of inauguration (Kumbhabhishekam, Punaudhaaranam etc.), but they are sacred only when there is performance of regulars poojas, abhishekams, archanas etc., and not just because they are there! That is the difference between a moorthi found in a museum or art emporium, where pratimas of deities are sold and those installed in temples. The so called 'sacred' thread also has to be viewed in the same way. It is the 'shock and hurt' we feel when this fact is brutally pointed out to us that we brahmins react saying that "the thread I am wearing is 'sacred', even though I do not do anything prescribed to maintain its sanctity"! Rites and rituals become mere actions and movements, unless emotional and intellectual involvement are also present while carrying out those rites and rituals. Is this not at the base of everything?

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear Sri CLN,

Yes, I agree with your views fully. Any thing is sacred, so long we have faith in its sacredness. All the rituals and ceremonies that we perform are only external exhibition to enhance its sacredness further. That is one phase we all pass through at one time or other in our life. When we understand that what we search in spiritual world is beyond all these physical embellishments, slowly we discard these "sacred" items one by one and go inside to continue our search.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Brahmanyan]

Then its better not to wear if its just show piece. At least we must respect the sacred thread.
But all caste will wear wear one thread finally ...Yama Dharmaraj noose!!

Dear Sri "Brahin",

I appreciate the logic behind your words, but I feel that there is nothing wrong in wearing the sacred thread so long I consider the same sacred for me. The sacred thread reminds me the link between me and my father (my first Guru), who initiated me to Gayathri Manthra.
Many of our actions in life may not fit into the logic, but they give us solace and satisfaction to mind.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Have you ever wondered why Upanayanam is such a big deal only among the south Indian Brahmins especially the Tamil Brahmins. The vast majority of the Brahmins are from the northern states. But no such big fuss is made there. On certain auspicious days the temples in Kolkata are filled with Brahmins conducting Upanayanam. Mostly young boys since they follow the age rules mostly. The boy has a shaven head except for the Juttu at the back. Only the close relations attend the function.

The Upanayanam of Rabindranath Tagore and his cousin was conducted in a grand manner. Debendranath Tagore brought out a pamphlet in English explaining the significance of the function, the mantras and rituals associated with book. The pamphlet has been published as a book.

Then again how come the Tamil Brahmins are the only Brahmins making such a big thing out of Avani Avittam? Upakarma for Brahmins who have never learnt or recited the Vedas?

Upakarma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Tamil Brahmins do display a tendency to wear their caste and religion on their sleeves.

 

[subbudu1]

Have you ever wondered why Upanayanam is such a big deal only among the south Indian Brahmins especially the Tamil Brahmins. The vast majority of the Brahmins are from the northern states. But no such big fuss is made there. On certain auspicious days the temples in Kolkata are filled with Brahmins conducting Upanayanam. Mostly young boys since they follow the age rules mostly. The boy has a shaven head except for the Juttu at the back. Only the close relations attend the function.

The Upanayanam of Rabindranath Tagore and his cousin was conducted in a grand manner. Debendranath Tagore brought out a pamphlet in English explaining the significance of the function, the mantras and rituals associated with book. The pamphlet has been published as a book.

Then again how come the Tamil Brahmins are the only Brahmins making such a big thing out of Avani Avittam? Upakarma for Brahmins who have never learnt or recited the Vedas?

Upakarma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Tamil Brahmins do display a tendency to wear their caste and religion on their sleeves.

Though I have respect for you, in this particular situation I disagree. Brahmins in the north are proud in their own way. They may not show off their orthodoxy but they are very caste conscious especially in the interiors. I remember the conversation of a missionary with a Bihari in a train. The missionary was trying to talk about his religion. The Bihari said- I am not a beggar like you, I am a brahman, you wolf. These harsh words not exaggerated.

What is wrong if tamil brahmins make a big thing of Avani AVittam. Do they spend lot of money or do they get special points by participating in it. It is no more stupid then participating in any yearly puja. Yes they dont learn the vedas but these things help in cultural integration. I have never missed my Upakarma. I dont qualify as a vedic scholar. But during this occasion I get to meet a lot of people and I am happy to be paying dakshina to the brahman. I also feel nice to be hearing the vedas chanted in good measure. My friend introduced me to his young son. This friend does not have much idea on tradition. But because of the upakarma visits the boy has shown interested in learning vedas. My friend is quite surprised about his son and his attitude to vedas inspite of his own indifference.

I am not sure if any tambram is attending Upakarma just to show off.

These ceremonies are as good or as bad as any ritual or puja.

When the relevance is worn off there is a natural disinterest. I have heard that many youngsters these days dont shy away from acknowledging that it is many years since they attended an upakarma ceremony. However something continues to pull a few youngsters. Who are we to judge them? For all you know the concerned person's grandson might take up the study of vedas?

 

[Brahin]

Dear Sri "Brahin",

I appreciate the logic behind your words, but I feel that there is nothing wrong in wearing the sacred thread so long I consider the same sacred for me. The sacred thread reminds me the link between me and my father (my first Guru), who initiated me to Gayathri Manthra.
Many of our actions in life may not fit into the logic, but they give us solace and satisfaction to mind.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

Sir,
That way you still respect it..so its Ok..many these days wear it like an inert adornment and even eat non veg even though wearing sacred thread.
So for such people better not to wear.

 

[subbudu1]

Sir,
That way you still respect it..so its Ok..many these days wear it like an inert adornment and even eat non veg even though wearing sacred thread.
So for such people better not to wear.

Brahin you need to think from a broader scheme of things. If we look at all the rules to be followed while wearing sacred thread I can say with every bit of confidence I have , that there is no one who should wear a sacred thread.

People wear sacred thread because they believe in something. You or I have no right to pass judgement on the same.
There are many Bengali brahmans who wear thread, eat meat and recite gayatri regularly. Infact I know precisely one such bengali who even drinks apart from meat. He is an extremely good man. He once told me that he gets visions of gods and godesses who advice him and the prophecies comes true. I have seen one particular action myself. May be it is all coincidence. But not any more than the visions seen by a tambram who follows so many other rules and orthodoxy

There are tambram who dont eat meat, nor do they recite gayatri. I know in fact tambrams who do sandhyavandanam but dont follow the rules of food and drink. They are not lesser mortals than others by virtue of such acts nor do they loose right automatically.

I defend the right of anyone who lives by his conscience. They are not intruding on the life of others.