It is very sad to see increasing number of divorce cases these days, the reasons may be many but the result is collapse of the Institution of Marriage. The situation is so alarming that an estimated 10,000 divorce cases are filed every year with 10 cases on an average being filed in each court in Delhi every day. Studies have shown that the percentage of divorces has increased from about 5% in 1974 to 15% in 2000. Moreover, these figures are from the capital city Delhi alone, we can well imagine the count in entire country and not to speak of innumerable unregistered cases. "Temperamental differences and intolerance are the major causes for divorce," said Sheila Dikshit at the inaugural function of the pre-marital counselling cell set up by Delhi Commission for Women (DCW) where young men and women and their parents can call for help and guidance.
It is very true that out of the innumerable number of reasons for the failure of marriages fundamental reason can be attributed to choosing of Life Partner. Unfortunately, in many of the cases the criteria of choosing a life partner is by External appearance, acquired wealth, name and fame(publicity) in the society, parental pressure, . . and these are going to fade away one day or other, so naturally the foundation is weak. Sri Adi Sankaracharya says in Bhaja Govindam, "Do not boast of wealth, friends, and youth. Each one of these is destroyed within a minute." And it is very much true; one will realize the truth in long run. A person who has married just by means of external appearance naturally looses interest when the beauty fades away in due course, and the one who has married desiring brides wealth obviously harasses his wife for dowry – hence more and more of dowry harassment cases are being reported. Moreover, they don’t know each other well before, their interests and qualities may be different and in the long run again come Conflicts, Ego problems - - - . In addition to this too much of parental interference - -. Added to this destructive suggestions and advice by relatives, peers as a solution to family problems is adding fuel to fire.
Above all, the kind of Thought-pollution we see now a days in Media – Movies and serials especially which are loaded with characters full of Jealousy, hatred, anger, - - . It is so sad, in India where Women who are regarded as the Embodiment of Divine mother – Motherhood, are depicted as docile ones full of hatred, envy, selfishness, Jealousy, who is obsessed with external beauty - - ... I remember two or three years back a girl from North India I hope has filed a case against Star Tv, Zee Tv for telecasting serials full of Negative characters - - and this speaks volumes of impact they have on the tender minds.
Life alone teaches us many things if we start observing things happening around as a witness. We see in few homes full of Joy though they may not be very rich or religious but they seem to be always cheerful and have a smile on their face. For them home is their favourite place in the world. And if we observe their life, it will be a value based and the interests, qualities of husband and wife will be similar. Having certain Values is essential in life for peace, prosperity and Joy. Simple values like respecting wife and treating her as his equal, giving the required emotional support to one another - - can really make wonders. Then alone that Faith or Trust or Bond or Love whatever it may be develops, the Ego vanishes and the feeling of oneness comes between them. And that is the reason elderly people in olden days used to look for qualities in the bride or bridegroom. The Primary criteria for selection for a bride and bridegroom should be matching of Interests, Qualities and Character, there shouldn’t be any compromise on that and all else of-course is secondary. If there are no values and one of them knows about other’s pre-marital relationships, bad habits, adultery during post marriage then the relationship is bound to fail.
Sri Rama and Sita are Ideal house holders.
Valmikiji says, if a form is given to Dharma(righteousness) - It becomes Rama.
If all the Good Qualities are given a Form - It becomes Sita.
If Bhakthi (Devotion) is given a Form - It becomes Hanuman.
The Sage becomes completely mesmerized by the Ideal qualities of Rama when sage Narada starts expounding the Sri Ramachandra"s virtues. He becomes awe-struck when he sees the whole Ramayana with his divine eye and says - "We may count the stars in the sky but it is not possible to count the innumerable virtues of Sri Ramabhadhra."
Ah, What an Yearning Rama has towards Sita. How much he cries for Sita, being the personification of the Paramatman. How much she might have influenced him by her character; brings tears into our eyes. What a Love and affection. He can never think of any other woman even in dream other than Sita. What a respect, devotion, affection Sita has towards Rama. Unmatchable. Rama and Sita are one............ They are Inseparable. Ramayana has the perfect food necessary for the Human Civilisation preventing it again from becoming Animals.. It is a must read book for to be House Holders in this present day where the Foundation of the Institution of Marriage is being weakened day by day.. I bow down to offer my pranams to the feet of Valmiki for compiling THE DIVINE LIFE STORY OF GOD for the benefit of FUTURE GENERATIONS.
Swami Vivekananda says, “Rama, the ancient idol of the heroic ages, the embodiment of truth, of morality, the ideal son, the ideal husband, the ideal father, and above all, the ideal king, this Rama has been presented before us by the great sage Vâlmiki. No language can be purer, none chaster, none more beautiful and at the same time simpler than the language in which the great poet has depicted the life of Rama. And what to speak of Sitâ? You may exhaust the literature of the world that is past, and I may assure you that you will have to exhaust the literature of the world of the future, before finding another Sita. Sita is unique; that character was depicted once and for all. There may have been several Ramas, perhaps, but never more than one Sita! She is the very type of the true Indian woman, for all the Indian ideals of a perfected woman have grown out of that one life of Sita; and here she stands these thousands of years, commanding the worship of every man, woman, and child throughout the length and breadth of the land of Âryâvarta. There she will always be, this glorious Sita, purer than purity itself, all patience, and all suffering. She who suffered that life of suffering without a murmur, she the ever-chaste and ever-pure wife, she the ideal of the people, the ideal of the gods, the great Sita, our national God she must always remain. All our mythology may vanish, even our Vedas may depart, and our Sanskrit language may vanish forever, but so long as there will be five Hindus living here, even if only speaking the most vulgar patois, there will be the story of Sita present. Mark my words: Sita has gone into the very vitals of our race. She is there in the blood of every Hindu man and woman; we are all children of Sita.”
Below is an extract from one my most favourite books – 'Ramayana by C. Rajagopalachari', an abridged English version of Valmiki Ramayana where we see how the family of Dasaratha collapses due his death because of one moment of bad council by Manthara which in turn makes Kaikeyi an embodiment of selfishness and jealousy. It is indeed true if we pay attention to bad counsel and advice without using our own discrimination we are going to end up in a ditch. (In Mahabaharata, Anguished Gandhari, Mother of Duryodhana calls on her son and tries to counsel him to come out of the hatred; but he says, "Mother though I try to do so, my mind is always forcing me to do evil." And the reason is Shakuni, who is the constant companion pouring only negative thoughts into Duryodhana’s mind. On the otherhand, Pandavas have the council of the Lord himself.) However, the counsel of Rama to Sita before going to forest and Sita’s unmatched response brings us the true Ideal of Marriage, i.e., a husband should always give first priority to his wife’s interests and happiness than to his personal interests and should protect her like an armour. Likewise, wife should share not only happiness but even the problems of husband and should be like a reserve battery, a solace for him. Then Marriage becomes blissful and no power can separate the couple.
“The householder must always please his wife with money, clothes, love, faith, and words like nectar, and never do anything to disturb her... That man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and has all the virtues.” – Says Swami Vivekananda while taking about the Duties of House Holder in his famous work Karma Yoga.
An Extract from Ramayan by C.Rajagopalachari an English Translation
Dasaratha to Kaikeyi
“Kaikeyi, who has corrupted your mind to see me dead and our race destroyed? I cannot believe that this evil thought is your own. How often have you told me, my dear, that, noble as Bharata is, Rama is nobler still? How can you even entertain the thought of his going away into the wilderness infested by ferocious beasts? How lovingly has Rama treated you and served you! How can you forget all this and steel your heart and utter the words, ‘Send him to the forest’? What fault has he committed? Of the hundreds of women in the palace, has anyone ever uttered a word against his honour or virtue? The whole world loves him for his great and good qualities. How did you alone among so many find cause to dislike him? Is not Rama like Indra himself? Is not his face radiant with goodness and spiritual light like a rishi? The whole world praises his truthfulness and friendliness, his learning and wisdom, his heroism and humility. No one has heard a harsh word from his lips. How can I, his father, say to him ‘Son, go to the forest’? This can never be. Have mercy on me, an old man nearing the end of his days. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - -
- - - - -
- - -- -
Sita"s Resolve
Rama left Sita and went to the King in answer to the message brought by Sumantra. Sita was expecting Rama to return in a chariot with the royal umbrella, followed by a great retinue. But now she saw Rama return alone, unattended, with none of the royal insignia. And she noted on his face the glow of some fixed resolve. Rama was thinking as he came how he could break to his beloved the news that his father had decreed that he was to go to forest.
“Something troubles the mind of my lord.” thought Sita, “but what can anything matter so long as there is our love?” And she asked him: “What is the matter? Why do you look so strangely?”
Rama told the story briefly and then added: “Princess, my love, I can well imagine your sorrow at having to part from me and stay here. Janaka’s daughter requires not my guidance to her duty. Be thoughtful of the comfort of the kind and the three queens – your mothers. Your love for me, I trust, will not grow any less during this absence. I shall return from forest after these fourteen years. Till then do not neglect customary rites and ceremonies. Mother Kausalya in her sorrow will need your attentive care. Bharata and Satrughna are dear to me. You will look upon them as your brothers. Conduct yourself as befits your royal race and your own nature. Avoid extolling me as to give possible offence to other good men. I must go to the forest today. Keep your mind steady and calm.”
When Sita heard this unexpected speech, her love for Rama manifested itself as anger that he should for a moment conceive that she could consent to part from him and live in comfort in the palace while he was a homeless wanderer in pathless forests.
“A fine speech you have made, O Knower of dharma. It is to me a strange doctrine that a wife is diverse from her husband and that his duty is not hers, and that she has no right to share in it. I can never accept it. I hold that your fortunes are mine, and if Rama has to go to the forest, the command includes Sita also, who is a part of him. I shall walk in front of you in the forest ways and tread the thorns and the hard ground to make them smooth for your feet. Do not think me obstinate. My father and mother have instructed me in dharma. What you tell me is totally opposed to what they have taught me. To go with you wherever you go – that is my only course. If you must go to the forest today, then today I go with you. There is no room here for any discussion. Do not think that I cannot bear forest life.. With you by my side it will be a joyous holiday. I shall not be a source of trouble to you. I shall eat fruits and roots like you and I shall not lag behind as we walk.
I have long wished to go to the woods with you and rejoice in the sight of great mountains and rivers. I shall spend the time most happily among the birds and flowers, bathing in the rivers and doing the daily rites.
Away from you, I do not care for Heaven itself. I shall surely die if you leave me behind. I implore you to take me with you. Have pity on me. Do not forsake me now.”
Beginning in anger, her speech ended in sobs. Raama explained Sita that life in the forest was not an easy as she thought and set out at great length the difficulties and dangers and again insisted that she should not think of accompanying him.
Sita’s eyes filled with tears. “Tigers, lions, bears, snakes – none of them will come near me. They will flee from us at the sight of you. The sun, rain, wind and hunger and the spikes and thorny you speak of – I shall endure them all
cheerfully.
I am not in the least afraid, and on the other hand you may be certain life will depart from this body if you leave me here and go.”
“For whom is forest life unpleasant? Only to those men and women who have not controlled their senses. You and I can be masters of our senses and miss nothing. I implore you, put me not away from you, for parting from you is more cruel than death..”
"A man said to Ravana, "You have been going to Sita in different disguises; why don"t you go to her in the form of Rama?"
"But", Ravana replied "when I meditate on Rama in my heart, the most beautiful women-celestial maidens like Rambha and Tilottama-appear no better than ashes of the funeral pyre. Then even the position of Brahma appears trivial to me, not to speak of the beauty of another man"s wife.’”
"O Mother, make me like Sita, completely forgetful of everything-body and limbs-,totally unconscious of hands, feet, and sense-organs-only the one thought in her mind,
Thanks
One more soul in God's Creation
It is very true that out of the innumerable number of reasons for the failure of marriages fundamental reason can be attributed to choosing of Life Partner. Unfortunately, in many of the cases the criteria of choosing a life partner is by External appearance, acquired wealth, name and fame(publicity) in the society, parental pressure, . . and these are going to fade away one day or other, so naturally the foundation is weak. Sri Adi Sankaracharya says in Bhaja Govindam, "Do not boast of wealth, friends, and youth. Each one of these is destroyed within a minute." And it is very much true; one will realize the truth in long run. A person who has married just by means of external appearance naturally looses interest when the beauty fades away in due course, and the one who has married desiring brides wealth obviously harasses his wife for dowry – hence more and more of dowry harassment cases are being reported. Moreover, they don’t know each other well before, their interests and qualities may be different and in the long run again come Conflicts, Ego problems - - - . In addition to this too much of parental interference - -. Added to this destructive suggestions and advice by relatives, peers as a solution to family problems is adding fuel to fire.
Above all, the kind of Thought-pollution we see now a days in Media – Movies and serials especially which are loaded with characters full of Jealousy, hatred, anger, - - . It is so sad, in India where Women who are regarded as the Embodiment of Divine mother – Motherhood, are depicted as docile ones full of hatred, envy, selfishness, Jealousy, who is obsessed with external beauty - - ... I remember two or three years back a girl from North India I hope has filed a case against Star Tv, Zee Tv for telecasting serials full of Negative characters - - and this speaks volumes of impact they have on the tender minds.
Life alone teaches us many things if we start observing things happening around as a witness. We see in few homes full of Joy though they may not be very rich or religious but they seem to be always cheerful and have a smile on their face. For them home is their favourite place in the world. And if we observe their life, it will be a value based and the interests, qualities of husband and wife will be similar. Having certain Values is essential in life for peace, prosperity and Joy. Simple values like respecting wife and treating her as his equal, giving the required emotional support to one another - - can really make wonders. Then alone that Faith or Trust or Bond or Love whatever it may be develops, the Ego vanishes and the feeling of oneness comes between them. And that is the reason elderly people in olden days used to look for qualities in the bride or bridegroom. The Primary criteria for selection for a bride and bridegroom should be matching of Interests, Qualities and Character, there shouldn’t be any compromise on that and all else of-course is secondary. If there are no values and one of them knows about other’s pre-marital relationships, bad habits, adultery during post marriage then the relationship is bound to fail.
Sri Rama and Sita are Ideal house holders.
Valmikiji says, if a form is given to Dharma(righteousness) - It becomes Rama.
If all the Good Qualities are given a Form - It becomes Sita.
If Bhakthi (Devotion) is given a Form - It becomes Hanuman.
The Sage becomes completely mesmerized by the Ideal qualities of Rama when sage Narada starts expounding the Sri Ramachandra"s virtues. He becomes awe-struck when he sees the whole Ramayana with his divine eye and says - "We may count the stars in the sky but it is not possible to count the innumerable virtues of Sri Ramabhadhra."
Ah, What an Yearning Rama has towards Sita. How much he cries for Sita, being the personification of the Paramatman. How much she might have influenced him by her character; brings tears into our eyes. What a Love and affection. He can never think of any other woman even in dream other than Sita. What a respect, devotion, affection Sita has towards Rama. Unmatchable. Rama and Sita are one............ They are Inseparable. Ramayana has the perfect food necessary for the Human Civilisation preventing it again from becoming Animals.. It is a must read book for to be House Holders in this present day where the Foundation of the Institution of Marriage is being weakened day by day.. I bow down to offer my pranams to the feet of Valmiki for compiling THE DIVINE LIFE STORY OF GOD for the benefit of FUTURE GENERATIONS.
Swami Vivekananda says, “Rama, the ancient idol of the heroic ages, the embodiment of truth, of morality, the ideal son, the ideal husband, the ideal father, and above all, the ideal king, this Rama has been presented before us by the great sage Vâlmiki. No language can be purer, none chaster, none more beautiful and at the same time simpler than the language in which the great poet has depicted the life of Rama. And what to speak of Sitâ? You may exhaust the literature of the world that is past, and I may assure you that you will have to exhaust the literature of the world of the future, before finding another Sita. Sita is unique; that character was depicted once and for all. There may have been several Ramas, perhaps, but never more than one Sita! She is the very type of the true Indian woman, for all the Indian ideals of a perfected woman have grown out of that one life of Sita; and here she stands these thousands of years, commanding the worship of every man, woman, and child throughout the length and breadth of the land of Âryâvarta. There she will always be, this glorious Sita, purer than purity itself, all patience, and all suffering. She who suffered that life of suffering without a murmur, she the ever-chaste and ever-pure wife, she the ideal of the people, the ideal of the gods, the great Sita, our national God she must always remain. All our mythology may vanish, even our Vedas may depart, and our Sanskrit language may vanish forever, but so long as there will be five Hindus living here, even if only speaking the most vulgar patois, there will be the story of Sita present. Mark my words: Sita has gone into the very vitals of our race. She is there in the blood of every Hindu man and woman; we are all children of Sita.”
Below is an extract from one my most favourite books – 'Ramayana by C. Rajagopalachari', an abridged English version of Valmiki Ramayana where we see how the family of Dasaratha collapses due his death because of one moment of bad council by Manthara which in turn makes Kaikeyi an embodiment of selfishness and jealousy. It is indeed true if we pay attention to bad counsel and advice without using our own discrimination we are going to end up in a ditch. (In Mahabaharata, Anguished Gandhari, Mother of Duryodhana calls on her son and tries to counsel him to come out of the hatred; but he says, "Mother though I try to do so, my mind is always forcing me to do evil." And the reason is Shakuni, who is the constant companion pouring only negative thoughts into Duryodhana’s mind. On the otherhand, Pandavas have the council of the Lord himself.) However, the counsel of Rama to Sita before going to forest and Sita’s unmatched response brings us the true Ideal of Marriage, i.e., a husband should always give first priority to his wife’s interests and happiness than to his personal interests and should protect her like an armour. Likewise, wife should share not only happiness but even the problems of husband and should be like a reserve battery, a solace for him. Then Marriage becomes blissful and no power can separate the couple.
“The householder must always please his wife with money, clothes, love, faith, and words like nectar, and never do anything to disturb her... That man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and has all the virtues.” – Says Swami Vivekananda while taking about the Duties of House Holder in his famous work Karma Yoga.
An Extract from Ramayan by C.Rajagopalachari an English Translation
Dasaratha to Kaikeyi
“Kaikeyi, who has corrupted your mind to see me dead and our race destroyed? I cannot believe that this evil thought is your own. How often have you told me, my dear, that, noble as Bharata is, Rama is nobler still? How can you even entertain the thought of his going away into the wilderness infested by ferocious beasts? How lovingly has Rama treated you and served you! How can you forget all this and steel your heart and utter the words, ‘Send him to the forest’? What fault has he committed? Of the hundreds of women in the palace, has anyone ever uttered a word against his honour or virtue? The whole world loves him for his great and good qualities. How did you alone among so many find cause to dislike him? Is not Rama like Indra himself? Is not his face radiant with goodness and spiritual light like a rishi? The whole world praises his truthfulness and friendliness, his learning and wisdom, his heroism and humility. No one has heard a harsh word from his lips. How can I, his father, say to him ‘Son, go to the forest’? This can never be. Have mercy on me, an old man nearing the end of his days. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - -
- - - - -
- - -- -
Sita"s Resolve
Rama left Sita and went to the King in answer to the message brought by Sumantra. Sita was expecting Rama to return in a chariot with the royal umbrella, followed by a great retinue. But now she saw Rama return alone, unattended, with none of the royal insignia. And she noted on his face the glow of some fixed resolve. Rama was thinking as he came how he could break to his beloved the news that his father had decreed that he was to go to forest.
“Something troubles the mind of my lord.” thought Sita, “but what can anything matter so long as there is our love?” And she asked him: “What is the matter? Why do you look so strangely?”
Rama told the story briefly and then added: “Princess, my love, I can well imagine your sorrow at having to part from me and stay here. Janaka’s daughter requires not my guidance to her duty. Be thoughtful of the comfort of the kind and the three queens – your mothers. Your love for me, I trust, will not grow any less during this absence. I shall return from forest after these fourteen years. Till then do not neglect customary rites and ceremonies. Mother Kausalya in her sorrow will need your attentive care. Bharata and Satrughna are dear to me. You will look upon them as your brothers. Conduct yourself as befits your royal race and your own nature. Avoid extolling me as to give possible offence to other good men. I must go to the forest today. Keep your mind steady and calm.”
When Sita heard this unexpected speech, her love for Rama manifested itself as anger that he should for a moment conceive that she could consent to part from him and live in comfort in the palace while he was a homeless wanderer in pathless forests.
“A fine speech you have made, O Knower of dharma. It is to me a strange doctrine that a wife is diverse from her husband and that his duty is not hers, and that she has no right to share in it. I can never accept it. I hold that your fortunes are mine, and if Rama has to go to the forest, the command includes Sita also, who is a part of him. I shall walk in front of you in the forest ways and tread the thorns and the hard ground to make them smooth for your feet. Do not think me obstinate. My father and mother have instructed me in dharma. What you tell me is totally opposed to what they have taught me. To go with you wherever you go – that is my only course. If you must go to the forest today, then today I go with you. There is no room here for any discussion. Do not think that I cannot bear forest life.. With you by my side it will be a joyous holiday. I shall not be a source of trouble to you. I shall eat fruits and roots like you and I shall not lag behind as we walk.
I have long wished to go to the woods with you and rejoice in the sight of great mountains and rivers. I shall spend the time most happily among the birds and flowers, bathing in the rivers and doing the daily rites.
Away from you, I do not care for Heaven itself. I shall surely die if you leave me behind. I implore you to take me with you. Have pity on me. Do not forsake me now.”
Beginning in anger, her speech ended in sobs. Raama explained Sita that life in the forest was not an easy as she thought and set out at great length the difficulties and dangers and again insisted that she should not think of accompanying him.
Sita’s eyes filled with tears. “Tigers, lions, bears, snakes – none of them will come near me. They will flee from us at the sight of you. The sun, rain, wind and hunger and the spikes and thorny you speak of – I shall endure them all
cheerfully.
I am not in the least afraid, and on the other hand you may be certain life will depart from this body if you leave me here and go.”
“For whom is forest life unpleasant? Only to those men and women who have not controlled their senses. You and I can be masters of our senses and miss nothing. I implore you, put me not away from you, for parting from you is more cruel than death..”
"A man said to Ravana, "You have been going to Sita in different disguises; why don"t you go to her in the form of Rama?"
"But", Ravana replied "when I meditate on Rama in my heart, the most beautiful women-celestial maidens like Rambha and Tilottama-appear no better than ashes of the funeral pyre. Then even the position of Brahma appears trivial to me, not to speak of the beauty of another man"s wife.’”
"O Mother, make me like Sita, completely forgetful of everything-body and limbs-,totally unconscious of hands, feet, and sense-organs-only the one thought in her mind,
"Where is Rama?" " – Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa
Thanks
One more soul in God's Creation
