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The Bane of being a tamil Iyer Lad

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Brahmastra

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The Bane of being a tamil Iyer Lad


Disclaimer : This is wholly my opinion and does not refer to the opinions of entire class of iyers..If any one of you feel hurt by it i am sorry.i did not intend to.it basically encompasses opinions of my relaives and others.the views represented below may not suit everybody


If not for my caste i guess i would have been in a world of lesser competition and i need not worry about what others are doing.but unfortunately i am on board the ship of tamil iyers and i cannot all of a sudden move out of it.
1)Invariably 99 out of 100 boyz have to opt for engineering that too preferably comp sci/EEE/ECE . right form LKG they have been taught things like A for apple E for engineering I for IIT .non engineers are looked down upon with scant respect unless they manage to complete CA/MCA/MBA

)The engineers will have to take up their GRE and goto US after 4 years. Even those who are not interested to leave their motherland are forced to go coz it will tantamount to dishonouring the family name by not opting to do so.Now why the hell didn't i go?? very simple... no aid and high belief's of going onsite within 2 years..now i know the reality and onsite seems a remote possibility.

3) Those who have not gone to the US will have to take up software jobs ,mind you just software jobs and get into an IIM within 2-3 years.

4) you invariably have high performing cousins that you are forced to emulate them while in reality you are a mile behind them in academics.in my case i have 7 cousins all of my age group - 2 in US , 2 CA's , 2 MBA's with one of them in IIM which leaves me alone with a software job where i code.if i consider my senior cousins its much worse,none of them are in india.

5)Academics only matter most.If you study well you are a good boy otherwise you are a bad boy(asathu,makku,mandu,arathu..list goes on).

6)Boyz shud not drink or smoke.if they do they are considered as rebels.(times have changed agreed..but in the neo conservative society where i live parents often enquire abt these habits of boyz when they are looking for a proper match for teh girl..)

7)your friends circle must necessarily encompass the brightest boy of the class else they say " un sakavaaasam seriya illai".

8) you are always compared with the well off guyz and when you reach that stage they set u higher goals which are unrealistic to achieve.guyz like me are at the lowest rung in the comparison levels. they dont look upon us like sucess stories.

9) when you are 28 and have just a B.E to your credit then the BE becomes " MOttai" BE becoz of the lack of an PG degree.

10) ME in india is not considered as a PG unless if it is from IISc .

11)foreign MBA is not valued much unless it is from the ivy league.

12)MBA means just IIMs

13) by the age of 24 parents start thinking abt your marriage and you have to make yourself saleable. "Mottai" BE guyz have a tough chance.

14)talking to girls is considered taboo.i never talked much with my class girls till my 8th.if girls called up your home then you were looked upon with suspicion.this was some 10 years back.now my bro hardly gets any calls from guyz.even the generation gap was disadvantageous to us.

15)there are only 2 categories of bridegrooms - US mappilai and India maapilai. US mappilai is most preferred as they can brag abt him like hell even though he might be doing the saME CODING job which the indian mapppilai does in chennai/blore.india mappilai is last choice that too only for girls who are homesick.

16)invariably all girls study BE so they expect the boyz to have a better qualification than them which again puts the "Mottai: BE wala in a soup.

17)Microsoft is the best place to work in and a developer in microsoft is treated with far more respect than a guy in P&G.

18)P&G and HLL are companies which manufacture soap.so when you are working in them your job is relegated and perceived to be one of selling soaps.

19) Love marriage is accepted provided the girl is younger than you belongs to the same caste and is of equal social status.in other cases there will always be a frown.

20) BPO is not a good profession.
sole advantage

you have lotta pretty gals out there and if you are a MS grad or an IIM grad u stand a good chance provided u have the looks.

thats it i guess..
 
J

JSIyengar

Guest
I liked it. Funny yet some of them are true :)




Brahmastra said:
The Bane of being a tamil Iyer Lad


Disclaimer : This is wholly my opinion and does not refer to the opinions of entire class of iyers..If any one of you feel hurt by it i am sorry.i did not intend to.it basically encompasses opinions of my relaives and others.the views represented below may not suit everybody


If not for my caste i guess i would have been in a world of lesser competition and i need not worry about what others are doing.but unfortunately i am on board the ship of tamil iyers and i cannot all of a sudden move out of it.
1)Invariably 99 out of 100 boyz have to opt for engineering that too preferably comp sci/EEE/ECE . right form LKG they have been taught things like A for apple E for engineering I for IIT .non engineers are looked down upon with scant respect unless they manage to complete CA/MCA/MBA

)The engineers will have to take up their GRE and goto US after 4 years. Even those who are not interested to leave their motherland are forced to go coz it will tantamount to dishonouring the family name by not opting to do so.Now why the hell didn't i go?? very simple... no aid and high belief's of going onsite within 2 years..now i know the reality and onsite seems a remote possibility.

3) Those who have not gone to the US will have to take up software jobs ,mind you just software jobs and get into an IIM within 2-3 years.

4) you invariably have high performing cousins that you are forced to emulate them while in reality you are a mile behind them in academics.in my case i have 7 cousins all of my age group - 2 in US , 2 CA's , 2 MBA's with one of them in IIM which leaves me alone with a software job where i code.if i consider my senior cousins its much worse,none of them are in india.

5)Academics only matter most.If you study well you are a good boy otherwise you are a bad boy(asathu,makku,mandu,arathu..list goes on).

6)Boyz shud not drink or smoke.if they do they are considered as rebels.(times have changed agreed..but in the neo conservative society where i live parents often enquire abt these habits of boyz when they are looking for a proper match for teh girl..)

7)your friends circle must necessarily encompass the brightest boy of the class else they say " un sakavaaasam seriya illai".

8) you are always compared with the well off guyz and when you reach that stage they set u higher goals which are unrealistic to achieve.guyz like me are at the lowest rung in the comparison levels. they dont look upon us like sucess stories.

9) when you are 28 and have just a B.E to your credit then the BE becomes " MOttai" BE becoz of the lack of an PG degree.

10) ME in india is not considered as a PG unless if it is from IISc .

11)foreign MBA is not valued much unless it is from the ivy league.

12)MBA means just IIMs

13) by the age of 24 parents start thinking abt your marriage and you have to make yourself saleable. "Mottai" BE guyz have a tough chance.

14)talking to girls is considered taboo.i never talked much with my class girls till my 8th.if girls called up your home then you were looked upon with suspicion.this was some 10 years back.now my bro hardly gets any calls from guyz.even the generation gap was disadvantageous to us.

15)there are only 2 categories of bridegrooms - US mappilai and India maapilai. US mappilai is most preferred as they can brag abt him like hell even though he might be doing the saME CODING job which the indian mapppilai does in chennai/blore.india mappilai is last choice that too only for girls who are homesick.

16)invariably all girls study BE so they expect the boyz to have a better qualification than them which again puts the "Mottai: BE wala in a soup.

17)Microsoft is the best place to work in and a developer in microsoft is treated with far more respect than a guy in P&G.

18)P&G and HLL are companies which manufacture soap.so when you are working in them your job is relegated and perceived to be one of selling soaps.

19) Love marriage is accepted provided the girl is younger than you belongs to the same caste and is of equal social status.in other cases there will always be a frown.

20) BPO is not a good profession.
sole advantage

you have lotta pretty gals out there and if you are a MS grad or an IIM grad u stand a good chance provided u have the looks.

thats it i guess..
 

silverfox

Active member
Dear Brahmastra:
I enjoyed your piece on
The Bane of being a tamil Iyer Lad. It was funny. However, must you classify yourself as "Iyer" lad? Whether you are an Iyer or Iyengar, this could happen to any of you.
I have been campaigning that we must be united and call ourselves Brahmins and dont have to separate ourselves.

I hope you take this in the right spirit.




 
K

KAUNDINYA

Guest
Sri Silverfox says that we must not have surnames which reveal our sect/caste, like Iyer & Iyengar. On the contrary Sri J.S.Iyengar says that he is proud to have the surname "Iyengar". You people fight it out among yourselves & come to a conclusion. I'm much better because I've given my GOTRA name which is common among not only Tamil brahmins but among all south-Indian brahmins. Even Konkani-speaking Gowda Saaraswath Brahmins have the gotra "KAUNDINYA".
 

silverfox

Active member
Mr. Kaundinya:

Once again, I am being misquoted and things are being taken out of context. I have never said that you cannot have an 'Iyer' or 'Iyengar' surnames; never. I was referring to that article written by that young man. There he was NOT referring to his surname as Iyer but was using it to mark his particular Brahmin identity. So, I asked a question why "Iyer" lad? why not Brahmin lad?
Anyway, it is no big deal. And, certainly we are NOT fighting over anything. We are mature and intelligent adults. I for one grew up in the USA and I have been brought up to disagree or debate without getting violent or emotional.
Getting back to your suggestion that we all use our Gotras: a big YES to your suggestion. That was the best answer to get rid of our sub-divisions. After all, all Brahmins have descended from the Rishis and they are the common denominator for all of us.
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree with you that we should all change our last names to our Gotras. I have been mulling over this for quite some time, except I dread all the formalities I have to go thru .. notice to the newspaper, social security admn., passport, property records, and what have you.
I think your suggestion is the best one.
p.s. My mother's side are Kaundinya Gotra!!
 
Last edited:

srkpriv

Member
I am Kaundinya too! (paternal) and bharadwaja (maternal).

Fortunately I dont suffer the same complex (meaning I have differenthing that I am occupied with :) ) that the 'iyer lad' suffers.
If we go through how individuals react to various problems they face,
personal and professional, there is no end to it.

The concern the parents showing to their kids that they must go to engineering is very understandable and at the same time the way they show their disappointment is in a way understandable too given their upbringing as well. But then nobody is blessed with all the good things. We have our own short-comings as well. I think that's the way life goes!.

silverfox said:
p.s. My mother's side are Kaundinya Gotra!!
 
R

rsridhar

Guest
ya i agree with brahmastra, here whenever i go to a marriage there relatives asks 'what are you doing', even if i say high, they ask 'when r u going 2 us'. That's really bad. I am not aligned with the idea of having gothra as surname. its my choice.
 
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