• Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Tambra Community's marriageable girls

Status
Not open for further replies.

Iyyarooraan

Well-known member
There are a lot eligible Tamil Brahmin Boys seeking suitable Brides from the same community. Some are well educated and well earning, some are well educated but may not be earning good, some are non-graduates but earning well and a very few are less educated and earning much less as per today's standards. Four decades before girls and their parents were treated with contempt for one reason or the other. But in those days,too, well educated and also wealthy boys/parents accepted in marriage girls less fortunate in any respect. Whichever way the girls married to become Dharmapatnis, In life happy childhood, access to proper education, prowess to score better there, landing in well paying vocation/business, getting married to blissful life thereafter and so on are each different and independent of the other. We have seen stunning paradoxes in the life of people. Each one is endowed with that kind of life that he deserves or his Karma entails him. If it is the duty of Brahmin boy to uphold this tradition so it is of the girls of the community. Money rules over everything and that includes US too. I have come across a lot of girls having very weak horoscope and they insist on their own choice in Matrimony, but brush aside the astrological points. The may have a match, or may not, of their choice. But whether a boy or a girl better please listen to voice of the heavens through the media our rishis and munis handed to us. Today's parents of girls are better placed than those of yesteryears. The latter would not have imagined that the table would be turned against them like this. God has his own ways of ironing out, but has he not blessed us with intelligence! So to say, the Tamil Brahmin community girls have responsibility too to preserve it, unless they think they are not obliged to. In doing so you will only equalling man. The whole exercise by me is not to blindfold them but appealing to them to distinguish all things. All birds were flocking to America, and now Americas slide seems to have started what with their science, technology, money power and military power. Once again I appeal to them to see the writing on the wall and preserve yourself.
 

C RAVI

Well-known member
Sri Iyyarooraan ji,

A very good post....

I believe, it would have been better I you have posted this thread under Sociology...
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
The present day is, the girls father/ Parents educate their daughter well so that she stands on her own leg and faces challenges with her husband and give her shoulder to pull the cart. Then after compleation of the education the girl prefers an employment with a company and posted at a good salary. Then she is looking for a groom who earns more than her and more educated than her.
Being a girl/ Lady she was given all sort of assistance from the society and the N.G.O.s and Government that improves her.

to me this will work out only for some time. After marriage if the girl gets a couple of children, if there is no one to look after them, she will quit the job to look after their children and it is a male who takes the responsibility of earning money.
So the earning of the girl is secondary one.

When I was browsing a matrimonial website in the internet on a Sunday with a girl's father in their house with an astrologer behind them, who will verify the horoscope in the internet itself without taking a print out and they said they need a boy from Australia or U.S., since the girl did C.S and hold 90% marks and wanted to further studies in a foreign country they look for a groom from abroad.

This Astrologer is a friend of my co researcher who is to meet in libraries.

Some time in the following weeks I met the astrologer along with my co researcher asked if the girl got a groom of their choice.

The astrologer loudly laughed and said "The horoscope of the girl says that she will not travel beyond Aminjikarai / Ayanavaram but how a man can expect her to live in America and Australia." Then I asked him you should have told them that frankly and why are you wating your time and their time.

The astrologer said if I sit with them on a Sunday at their house I am getting Rs1000 plus food snacks. Who will give me Rs1000 on a Sunday!

Further the astrologer takes them to various places of Pilgrimage and spends a lots of time for which he is paid separately. He says so many prayachchithas which were followed blindly by the parents of the girl.

So this is what is happening in the world.
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
ramac,

very very entertaining and interesting post. thank you.

a couple of observations, if you don't mind.

your comments, 'to me this will work out only for some time. After marriage if the girl gets a couple of children, if there is no one to look after them, she will quit the job to look after their children and it is a male who takes the responsibility of earning money.
So the earning of the girl is secondary one
.'

may not be quite applicable in all cases where the best interest of the family prevails. let us say the girl is earning more. why not she continue with the job, and the husband stay at home for a few years to take care of the children. what harm is there?

i think, gone are the days, when we need to assign specific tasks to men and women. if the woman earns more money, it is good for the family. the husband's ego should not stand in the way. this makes more sense to me.

re the astrologer episode:

The astrologer said if I sit with them on a Sunday at their house I am getting Rs1000 plus food snacks. Who will give me Rs1000 on a Sunday!

the astrologer is not to be found fault. he only panders his clients and gives them the service that they want. i would not be surprised if many girls' parents want to sit back and enjoy the efforts they put into the girl, by sharing the fruits of her income.

don't the boys' parents do that? why not the girls too? i think the problem of finding brides for TB grooms, is due to the old fashioned mindset of the boys and their parents. unless this changes radically, they will continue to find it difficult to find wives.
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
Dear Sri.Kunjapu Ji.

To my knowledge only ladies has the patients to look after the babies. Even to day the doctors ask for the mother to take care of the baby and not father. Secondly the society of employers will accept a reason if a woman takes a break in her employment citing baby's health. The warmth of a mother has an affection from the womb, where as a fathers affection comes from his skin. So mother's care is the best on the Earth.

Secondly there is no mistake of the astrologers as they see the opportunity to earn money. I am not finding fault at them. What I asked the astrologer when you are sure of the horoscope of the girl that didn't show any sign of a visit abroad even as a tourist he should tell the fact. But here the father of the girl was seeking a remedy and wish to please a Planet that will take her for a stay abroad.
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
This day in Times of India I read an article about the brahmins at Mylapore.

These prohits may be having few girls for marriage.


Some three months back, I posted about a girl, who works at a departmental store, who said that her father prefers a boy from IT. But even last week I saw her, but not married.

When the Parents of the girls prefers the boys from IT and they are ready wait. But IT boys prefers to have their wife from IT.

The skin is dry but they want ghee to wet and not water or OIL.
 
N

nachi naga

Guest
ramchander,k

there are men who do take responsibility as homemaker,maynot be a majority,bt isolated cases do exist.women i have in my brief sojurn in bhu-lokam observed are extremely fickle minded,and only when reminded of he commitment made at the time of marriage,regai their senses.divorce is a step which women nonchalantly take on the flimsiest of reasons and the society does pander to womens rights as if the men are always brutes.

while astrology is a combination of science (astronomy) and art (prediction),parents must not let a map (jathakam) dictate the route for destination as a driving direction.one must use their brain cells time and again,instead of sitting on it.
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
Some time back I posted some where, about marriage of neighbor's daughter with a person who is drawing more salary but horosecope didn't match and they did some rituals, visited some place and marriage held.

That daughter delivered a baby boy whose head is growing and back side is flat.

Through this I understood, even the prayachiththa / remedy doesn't work.

The parents of the girl who were happy at that time of marriage now pull their head in shame as every one started commenting on the baby boy and the Peraasai that the girl had.

I understood latly that they prefer a transfer and wish to move out of Chennai.
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
Some time back I posted some where, about marriage of neighbor's daughter with a person who is drawing more salary but horosecope didn't match and they did some rituals, visited some place and marriage held.

That daughter delivered a baby boy whose head is growing and back side is flat.

Through this I understood, even the prayachiththa / remedy doesn't work.

The parents of the girl who were happy at that time of marriage now pull their head in shame as every one started commenting on the baby boy and the Peraasai that the girl had.

I understood latly that they prefer a transfer and wish to move out of Chennai.

ramacc,

it is unfortunate about the child. but please note that this could and have happened to anyone including those with perfectly matched horoscopes. such matches have had their share of sorrows and griefs, which i think, is no less or more, than the average.

so, it is not right, i think, to pin point the marriage decision as one that causes such birth defects. we do not know the causes of such malformaties, and it is i think, very childish to to view such, as a divine 'punishment'.

having said above, i also wish to say, that the community reaction, portrays them in the worst possible light. a caring community, would have come to support the couple, and offered consolation and help. instead we have idiots who are pointing fingers and having laughs behind the backs of the couple. such idiocy, such cruelty, such arrogance!! - perhaps we still have some distance to go, re caring and empathy....
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
Dear Kunjappu ji

I am doing PhD, but still reading books about astronomy and astrology and of the opinion that our ancestors are not fools in creating Yagas and Yagnas and rituals.

I am seeing science and our people who lived 30,000 years back knows how a child born, the formation of foetus, how to care about them and so on.

Ravana wrote Bhashya for Rig Veda and named as Arka Prakasika, which tells about the growth of foetus followed by how the child should be treated after birth.

Since they know everything about astronomy and astrology we must pay attention. But to day we feel that if we want to reject a horoscope since the groom has no money or rich as per the expectation so that he will not come again.

The horoscope of the girl suited for 8 out of 10 and girls side rejected stating important two are not matching!

You know what are the Two?
Money and forefather's wealth!

So the person, who wanted to please a Planet, rejecting a horoscope match paid for that

Yes money is in need, that you should earn your self and should not claim as a right from a boy and girl at the time of marriage and show the saving power to the newly wedded couples.
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
Wish to add one more.

The so called Brahmins should not insist on horoscope match, if they wish only money. They should not follow ritual as they have no faith in rituals.

To escape they take Horoscope and say this and that.

Dear Sri Kunjappu ji,

If all the Brahmins stop/ discontinue referring horoscope like Muslims, what will happen?
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
I am doing PhD, but still reading books about astronomy and astrology and of the opinion that our ancestors are not fools in creating Yagas and Yagnas and rituals.

I should have used the words "that our forefathers are learned pandits who wrote vedas after experiencing the fact".

If we justify that we are greater than them of course in flexing the words and twisting the texts in our favour.

I happened to go through few translation of Sanscrit work of our Risis by Westerners, who appreciated all. But fortunatly or unfortunatly few most important words they mis spelt. They spell Frog for mandhuga, the real meaning id Vallarai, that cooling the body.

If any one read my posting "Vedas in Tamil" they might understand.

I wish you to read those postings Vedas, History of Trichy Samayapuram Poysaleeswaran koil., and History of HRCA they will certainly understand my quotes.

Please read my postings and then ask me few questions.

I want to read more.
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
Dear Sri Kunjappu ji,

If all the Brahmins stop/ discontinue referring horoscope like Muslims, what will happen?

let us take the muslims out of this calculations.

anyone who does not consult horoscope, is matching mates on certain times - i would imagine compatibility, education (sic), etc. only horoscope matching is removed.

marriage, i think, is a lottery. love marriage, technically, should improve the odds, as the boy girl have opportunities to know each other with more familiarity than an arranged marriage.

there are lots of marriages which have endured without horoscope. and vice versa is also true. horoscope, i think is a matter of faith, and not a guarantee.

personally, my family gave up belieiving or creating horoscopes starting with my mother about 50 years ago. i have continued it. our life has had its shares of joys and sorrows like anyone else. with or without horoscope.

so, to answer your question 'If all the Brahmins stop/ discontinue referring horoscope, what will happen? Nothing will happen. life will go on as usual.
 
Dear All
Jatagams are being altered to suit each ones selfish ends. Now we aee girls rejecting boys on various counts like ugly,'If i go out with such a person after marriage how will people look at us?'!! It is pretty scary. Thank God it wasn't so bad earlier!!
Anusha
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
In reality all girls wants heroes as their spouse. They expect a life with out any care. and responsibility. Even if Jathagam coincides, the girl's family rejecting that saying "Horoscope not matching". They are not having courage to come out in open" We are looking for a groom who currently earns 70,000 - 100.000 P.M. Since the girl wish to spend a lot, we need a groom who fulfills her needs"

If they quote like this no one will bother them and I am sure she will get few mails.
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
But it is not the Girl alone!, I placed an ad in a paper some time back and I received around 40 calls and 25 SMS from matrimony bearus to register the horoscope with them, and they have around 200 eligible girl's chart with them which I simply ignored.

So this is a good business, rather than service.

On those days My father use to visit Mahalingapuram temple and register my name, many parents both groom and bride visit the temple check the chart and all at free of cost, which was a service. But later when is matrimonial went as business every one see this as a business and not as a sacred one.
 

SuryaKasyapa

Active member
This thread and many other threads inter alia discuss about astrology and horoscope based prediction.

Naturally, as for any topic, there are two or more sides. One supporting the
acceptability and credibility of astrology(horoscope based prediction / matching) and the other rejecting it and calling it a hoax. Others may fall somewhere in between this in varying degrees of proximity .

The main reason for this, there are no uniformily verifiable prof on record for anybody to check the veracity .

As ,amny million word were spared in this site itself on this topic, I have a suggestion.

Why can't this site,or the members in a sub group or association take up a task of inviting all those interested /knowing/ practicing astrology ,to a common venue and give each astrologer a uniform set of various horoscopes, and ask them to state about the till date past and their future predictions about the "Jaataka", to occur on a pre-decided intervals of time gapto enable to ascertain and verify).

A pre- decided set of parameters be given for prediction. The correctness in actual life of the jaataka ,on the "past" parameters should be correctly ascertained and kept in sealed boxes to be compared with answers given by the astrologers for the verification.

The future predictions should be verified by the unbiased panel of judges,with actual recordings of occurences in the individual's life.

This of course needs volunteers to come forward to share their personal matters in public. However, the parameters can be such that most of these will be anyway available in public.

As the statement about past can be immediately verifies for their correctness, the viewers /public can have a fair amount of indicative signal if astrology can be accepted at least for a part value of credit it is given by believers.

Any on who is genuinely interested in astrology OR vehemently opposing the same should sincerely act towards this as it will help the many many who are now on either side or on the brink.

The actual modalities,improvements can be brought out by more discussion in this matter.

Greetings
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top
Thank you for visiting TamilBrahmins.com

You seem to have an Ad Blocker on.

We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy.

Alternatively, consider upgrading your account to enjoy an ad-free experience along with numerous other benefits. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page

You can also donate financially if you can. Please Click Here on how you can do that.

I've Disabled AdBlock    No Thanks