• If you are using hotmail, outlook, live or rediffmail email and is trying to register or have registered with the website, please read this post.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Sunset years, with sons settled abroad

prasad1

Well-known member
According to a Ministry of External Affairs report, there are 31 million Non-Resident Indians (NRIs and PIOs) residing outside India. Every one of these NRIs with elderly parents back home in India is aware of that familiar feeling of constant worry lurking at the back of their minds, added to a lingering sense of guilt for having left them behind.

As families shrink, support systems vanish and children get busy with careers in faraway lands, parents are left with large houses that pose a security threat, or in apartments with cantankerous housing societies and neighbours. When thousands of Indians emigrate each year for higher education, lucrative jobs or a better lifestyle, they leave behind, either knowingly or unknowingly, their biggest treasure -- their elderly parents with broad smiles and cheerful exteriors, who hide behind their moist eyes untold stories of loneliness, anxiety, fear and uncertainty that they would rather not tell their children several hours of travel time away.

Apart from the loneliness and the anxiety of being separated, in times of illness and emergencies, even simple chores like going to the bank, standing in a queue for a gas cylinder or paying a bill becomes a challenge, going to the doctor or a dentist becomes an ordeal.


Emotional support in the form of frequent phone and video calls is necessary to make up for their absence. They should encourage parents to become members of organizations like NRIPA and APIRO, for a sense of belonging while spending time with like-minded people.

According to the State of World Population report by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), India’s population in 2019 was 1.36 billion, with 6% -- 81.6 million -- of age 65 years and above. The Indian joint family system is almost extinct; innumerable seniors are living alone, or with caregivers in old-age homes. This number will only grow, with more and more of them requiring old-age homes, caregivers, emotional support and continuous handholding.

Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/opinio...et-years-with-sons-settled-abroad-797233.html
 

asadu

Active member
A Stark reality with cruel stories of ill treatments and numerous hardships by these parents. Some are not out of the country, but in India itself,but fail to acknowledge or care the ageing parents. This may be due to 50% by the parents themselves, and 50% by their children in pursuit of money, the remaining 50% by economy and balance 50% by our Governments which fail to recognise and act. This can not be mitigated by amending the law with imprisonment and fine.
 

vembuv

Active member
To offset this loneliness and isolation, NRI parents in Bengaluru have established an organisation called the NRI Parents Association (NRIPA), to provide a support network for themselves, to hold regular meetings, socialize and share a common set of concerns. Another organisation, the Association of Parents of Indians Resident Overseas (APIRO), brings all NRI parents’ organisations together under a single umbrella, assists left-behind parents suffering from painful separation, lack of emotional support and physical insecurity, by providing a platform to share their sunset years.

Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/opinio...et-years-with-sons-settled-abroad-797233.html
Prasad Ji,

I welcome such moves. it is a good move by parents coming together under one umbrella, overcome loneliness, exchange opinion and try to sort out the problems, ordeals,etc

We should not be dependent….try to lead an independent life without the support of children.

It is still possible provided we have the necessary will.

It is added advantage if there is an Association which extends support for such parents.

Parents needs to accept this life too. Accept this challenge. Of course, it may be bit difficult.

Children’s happiness is the only concerned for most of parents.

When they are happy somewhere, count your blessings, thank God and pray for wellness of everyone.

Thanks for sharing this article ....

It is good if such Associations are formed all over the country.
 
According to a Ministry of External Affairs report, there are 31 million Non-Resident Indians (NRIs and PIOs) residing outside India. Every one of these NRIs with elderly parents back home in India is aware of that familiar feeling of constant worry lurking at the back of their minds, added to a lingering sense of guilt for having left them behind.

As families shrink, support systems vanish and children get busy with careers in faraway lands, parents are left with large houses that pose a security threat, or in apartments with cantankerous housing societies and neighbours. When thousands of Indians emigrate each year for higher education, lucrative jobs or a better lifestyle, they leave behind, either knowingly or unknowingly, their biggest treasure -- their elderly parents with broad smiles and cheerful exteriors, who hide behind their moist eyes untold stories of loneliness, anxiety, fear and uncertainty that they would rather not tell their children several hours of travel time away.

Apart from the loneliness and the anxiety of being separated, in times of illness and emergencies, even simple chores like going to the bank, standing in a queue for a gas cylinder or paying a bill becomes a challenge, going to the doctor or a dentist becomes an ordeal.


Emotional support in the form of frequent phone and video calls is necessary to make up for their absence. They should encourage parents to become members of organizations like NRIPA and APIRO, for a sense of belonging while spending time with like-minded people.

According to the State of World Population report by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), India’s population in 2019 was 1.36 billion, with 6% -- 81.6 million -- of age 65 years and above. The Indian joint family system is almost extinct; innumerable seniors are living alone, or with caregivers in old-age homes. This number will only grow, with more and more of them requiring old-age homes, caregivers, emotional support and continuous handholding.

Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/opinio...et-years-with-sons-settled-abroad-797233.html
Yes.True. I am 71+ and my 2 kids are in the USA. But, we all are financially independent (Great!).
I accept it as natural happening. I want to use my money for our Support. (Me & my Wife).
I have converted all my immovable assets as movable, in my life-time! My Kids, if required can access the Bank & Demat account, on line from the USA!
I just think Positives!
 

jilly70

Member
Suffering is suffering... Parents of those who have chosen to stay back in India also often undergo suffering... Lack of time with family, estrangement within the same roof, feeling of having become a burden to their own offspring, lack of availability and/or affordability support and care systems... list goes on, any support is to be welcomed and appreciated... ?
 

tbs

Well-known member
hi

my own personal experiences....im the ONLY SON for my widowed mom....my mother widowed 50 yrs ago...

i moved to USA last 20 yrs ago...she used live alone in chennai....she felt more comfort in chennai....

i visit every year to see her....every week i talk to her through phone...its purely individual choices....she

finally died in an old age home near chennai 3 years back...ECONOMICAL INDEPENDENCE IS VERY

IMPORTANT IN OLD AGE....SOME FEEL MANY POSITIVES THAN JUST COMPLAIN...
 

vembuv

Active member
Yes.True. I am 71+ and my 2 kids are in the USA. But, we all are financially independent (Great!).
I accept it as natural happening. I want to use my money for our Support. (Me & my Wife).
I have converted all my immovable assets as movable, in my life-time! My Kids, if required can access the Bank & Demat account, on line from the USA!
I just think Positives!
I agree sir,

We need to be prepared and accept whatever that comes in the way of our life.

We don’t wish to live alone at the fag end of our life.

But when circumstances warrant, we need to accept the challenge and be sportive to live independently.

It is difficult to live without support but if it is the will of the God, we have no other go.

When God closes one door, he is definitely open the best one what we deserve in our life.

Accept the reality and enjoy the life lively with every moment.

Living alone, living with wife, living with children and family are certainly not our choice.

Life is wonderful. Spread love.
 
Yes. It is not necessary that our wards should be in abroad only to be away from parents. Even if they settle in North it may be difficult for them to visit their parents in Chennai due to various reasons. It is for us to live happily wherever we are and should be prepared for anything and everything.
 

Follow Tamil Brahmins on Social Media

Latest posts

Top
  Thank you for visiting TamilBrahmins.com

You seem to have an Ad Blocker on.

We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy.

You can also donate financially if you can. Please Click Here on how you can do that.