Sumangali prathanai / mangali pondugal

[iyerponnu]

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Hi all,

There must have been many posts related to this. Can someone tell me if there are any specific criteria for the day chosen to have the pondugal? Should samaradhanai be done before or after the pondugal?
And also can someone tell me if there are any specific rituals related to kerala iyer pondugal??

Mythili

 

[iyyerram]

Sumangali Prarthanai is a ritual seeking the blessings of women of the family who are no more; something akin to the nandi sradham, only there are no vedic rituals or mantras in this ritual. It is purely a ladies’ function. In most families this function is performed during important events like marriage, upanayanam etc, while in some families it is performed every year. It is believed that performing this puja will satisfy the unfulfilled yearnings of all the girls and ladies who have passed away at young age and they would in turn bless the family. It is common practice to conduct the Sumangali Prarthana before the marriage if the daughter is getting married and after the new daughter-in-law comes home if the son is getting married. This function is not performed on Tuesdays or Saturdays.

Usually, 7 ladies and 2 young girls (preferably below the age of 10) are invited to participate in the function, partake the feast and receive thamboolam. There is no objection for near relatives of the hostess to participate. Now a days many people do with 7 (6+1) or (5+2) ladies as it has become difficult to get together the 9 ladies to sit for the function. The ladies who sit for the puja represent all the women of the family who are no more alive. Since there is no explicit avahanam through manthrams of any pithrus, ladies generally accept the invitation. This function is very akin to the nandisradham performed prior to the upanayanam in many respects. While nandisradham is presided over and conducted by the purohitha of the family and the kartha is a gent; this function is presided over by the elderly lady members of the family. Usually the kartha is a sumangali from the family. The gifts to the ladies vary among families and also depend on the financial status of the kartha, very similar to the nandi sradham. The menu for the feast is also very similar. Though no vedic rituals are performed, Sumangali Prarthana is considered to be a very important and sacred function and all the preparations are done with a great deal of Shradha and Bhakthi. This is one function where the gents of the family are excluded from the rituals. They are asked to enter the hall only after initial puja is offered to do namaskarams and seek the blessings. Otherwise, they can stick around to offer any help around or in the kitchen and then await call for lunch, when the ladies have been fed and seen off.

 

[iyyerram]

The consent and convenience of all the prospective participants would have been obtained in advance and there would always be a few standbys for any unexpected dropouts. In the olden days, the preparations for the function had to start the previous evening. Armed with a bucket of oil and packets of turmeric powder, kumkum, flowers, betel leaves and nuts, and shikakai powder, and would go to all the invitees’ houses and invite them giving a measure of oil and the other things. The items were for the lady’s bath and adornment the next day. I am not sure if the custom is being followed anywhere today. Perhaps, these days one would have to carry, shampoo sachets, moisturizing cream, lipstick and the like. We did not have that invitation round this time at our home as most of the participants were from the family and immediate family.

All the participants are supposed to take an oil bath in the morning and come dressed in 9 yards saree only. There is no match to the beauty of the ladies all dressed in nine yards sarees and with no make up other than turmeric powder on their face and flowers in their hair, fresh from an oilbath.

 

[srinikam]

This is more to understand that, we treat the women living with us also equallent to men. As the shradham is supposed to be conducted by men, this system was bought to satisfy & respect the prayesr of the women in the family.

As far as my knowledge there is no any shastra references for this but it is purely of by practice. Correct me if I am wrong.

Pranam,

 

[drsundaram]

The consent and convenience of all the prospective participants would have been obtained in advance and there would always be a few standbys for any unexpected dropouts. In the olden days, the preparations for the function had to start the previous evening. Armed with a bucket of oil and packets of turmeric powder, kumkum, flowers, betel leaves and nuts, and shikakai powder, and would go to all the invitees’ houses and invite them giving a measure of oil and the other things we carried. The items were for the lady’s bath and adornment the next day. I am not sure if the custom is being followed anywhere today. Perhaps, these days one would have to carry, shampoo sachets, moisturizing cream, lipstick and the like. We did not have that invitation round this time at our home as most of the participants were from the family and immediate family.

All the participants are supposed to take an oil bath in the morning and come dressed in 9 yards saree only. There is no match to the beauty of the ladies all dressed in nine yards sarees and with no make up other than turmeric powder in their face and flowers in their hair, fresh from an oilbath.

Sri IYYERRAM, May I include please: The photos of those who had died as sumanagali are wiped clean, decorated with flowers etc along with a new saree . Every one including any males presents do namaskaram and seek the blessings of the departed. The names with relationship / lineage of demised are read out by one of the senior lady who conduct this function. That saree adorning the picture is given next day to a female in that family and next year's saree goes to another in rotation so that all will get a chance.
I stand to be corrected. Regards

 

[renuka]

Dear all...

Bash me up if i am wrong here..but I dont like the classification of a female into a Sumangali and Amangali...
Why divide and rule..
Each one of us came into this world to work out our individual karma..why all this tags attached to us..
When we are born we have no tags..not even clothings..why all sorts of tags during life and even after death..
How is death of a Sumanglai supposed to be diffrent from an Amangali?
Hey during death..Bodily functions start to shut down.. I will only see a flat line on my cardiac monitor..It does not differentiate between Sumangali and Amangali cardiac arrest.
Do we really need all this beliefs...?
i am no atheist..but at times this rituals might not even be part of Sanathana Dharma(correct me if i am wrong)..it could be time tested practises passed down from generation to generation..
may be its high times we revamp Hindu practises and practise what was truly there to start with..
Why are we always seeking bleesings from others..So always looking forward for fruits of actions..totally not inline with Karmanyevaadikaraste ma phaleshu kadacana..


Now coming to Sumangali and Amangali classification...
As I had mentioned before in this forum in another thread..

When Jeevaatma is Eternally wedded to Paramaatma..who is actually A Widow or a Widower?

 

[RVR]

Renu,

Smangali Prarthanai or Mangali Pondugal is nothing but Suhasini Pooja. Suhasini Pooja is normally performed in temples during Navarathri festival. I have not seen discrimination of Sumangali or Amangali in temples. In fact in our Vaishnavi temples, we permit all ladies to do pooja during Navarathri irrespective of their married, unmarried or widow status.

In the individual homes such pooja is performed just to invoke the blessings of sumangali ancestors in the family. However lady widows also participate in the function probably from the side lines.

Only gents are discriminated during this function and they can eat only after the ladies take food.

All the best

 

[kgopalan]

After the annual ceremony of father or mother is being performed every year. AFTER THE MEALS IS OVER we are doing pooja to pithru devas with 6rice balls each three for matha and pitha vargam. we adding water gingilly seeds over the six rice pindas then neivedhyam one vadai and aoe athirasam with thamboolam. The wives of these of Pitru devas are fed with food and mangaladravyas kumkum manjal bangles comb mirror,thamboolam and coconut and dhakshinai Blousebit etc; are given to them with paanagam and neermore and sukku vellam and their feet will be adorned with nalangu powder.The wives of pithru devas are invited and they are comind and having their seat on the ethric body or Bioplasmic body .That body must be clean and dustless. Rishis has found out that only gingilly oil has the power of removing from the physical and etherical body. so they have to take oil bath only gingilly oil or herbs mixed with gingilly oil. For srartha vadhyars who are taking food the pithru (deceased father or mother) are comind taking their seat on this biophysical body. on your requst by manthras. their seat must clean and without any dust. so gingilly oil basth must be taken from head to foot. there are restrictions to take oil bath. On those days for example the annual ceremony falls on new moon day Gingilly oil mixed with ghee tulasi leaf and betel leaf pepper will be given to them to take oil bath. Now this becomes thailan and can be taken for oil bath.One nine yards sareewithout black colour or black border must be bought and dipped in water only on the morning of sumangali prarthana day and should be dried in the open space the border of the saree shouuld not face south side. The nuni edge of the plantain leaves for meals also should not face south side. Rice soaked in wated must be ground to paste in mixie and add a liitle water and put kolam with your finger under neath each plantain leaf and also road vasal and in the wooden palagai where you are going to put saree,with blouse bit.Kuthu vilakku with five faces must be lit. For any lady dies as sumangali the very next day after annual ceremony sumangali prarthana must be done every year.You need not see whether it is tuesday or saturday. for this purpose. You should not do two sumangali prarthana in one year. Suppose marriage for son and daughter happens in a year you mayn dom it at your conveniance before or after marriage any day except saturdays and tuesdays and marana yoga and karinal days.Please buy nthe book cook and see (samaithu paar) written by Meenakshi Ammal. This aUTHOR HAS GIVEN EXHAUSTIC INFORMATION ABOUT these things in her 3rd part book.So as you are worshipping the wives of Pithru devas only sumangalis are invited for this function , Also sumangalies who are pregnant are also not eligible from their 4th month to sit as a sumangli in this function.

 

[RAMACHANDRANICF]

Sir, Due to lack OF knowledge i didn"t perform sumangali prarthanai for past 8 years, i had only one sister in our side, unfortunetly she is widow now. pl. suggest me how can i perform sumangali prarthanai ?

 

[kgopalan]

More details are required. To whom you are going to perform sumangali prarthana and THE NEAREST COMING ANNUAL CEREMONY thithi and paksham. Kindly buy one set of book 4 volumes written by Meenakshi ammal cook and see (samaithu paar) and in the 3rd volume she has given more details about sumangali prarthanai.On the Immediate next dayof the annual ceremony of the sumangali you have to perform sumangali prarthana. Minimum 4 sumangali s from your neibourhood area ( if available in your subsect)and you can proceed from this year.as written above collectively . Doubts can be clarified. Past is past .donot worry about past. leave it .

 

[shanraju]

The "Shrardha pondugal" is performed on the day next to the thithi of mother/mother-in-law. If there are 3 or 4 brothers(married) and are performing the thithi separately, this shrardha pondugal is also to be performed separately at their house.(which is in practice). But, on the contrary, in case of marriage/upanayanam taking place in two of the brothers house within the same tamil year, then only one Sumangali Prarthanai is to be performed. This has nothing to do with the "shrardha Pondugal". This is what our Vadhyar informed us and we have been following so far. Correct me if anything is to be altered.

 

[mrs.melu]

Sumangali Prarthanai.--- Mangali Pondugal


The function is done for getting the blessing of the departed female souls.

The format being followed, differ.

In some families the sari being given to the Daughter of the household, who conduct the function & in some the daughter-in-law, takes it for her.

Sarees should not have black colour & in cotton only.

Similarly. the cloth for the firl --Kanniya ponnu, shd be 2.5 mtrs only, without black, & also in cotton only..

Whoever takes the sari, the daughter/daughters of the house, are the main invitees..

even cooking, too has to be similar to devasa samayal, but paasi paruppu & coconut can

be used liberally. with no english vegetables entertained. And also, the family tradition,

is followed, in conducting the rituals.

6+1 is usually avoided. 5 or 9 is usually taken as pondugal.

Neer More & panagam is kepr along with Theertham near the sari being kept.

Ladies should have theertham from the eldest lady, before starting & at ending the

bhojanam.

After bhojam, ladies are given thamboolam to chew, given the Gifts--alongwith must are

Maruthaani--sukku& vellam powder, beta leaves& other usual items.

 

[mrs.melu]

sumangali Prarthani

Usually held on wednesdays, Fridays--both most preferred. ---
Never on saturdays it is held.

 

[saroja ram]

Kerala iyer pondugal is same as described by iyerram. I think all rituals have been completed. After food, the ladies are given vethelai paaku and then their hands and feet are adorned with mehndi.

 

[kgopalan]

Also we can get some more information from www.indus ladies.com and from www.subhakariam.com and from3rd volume cook and see written by meenakshi Ammal.In tamilnadu in Tanjore district and in coimbatore district Here the Ganabadigal says if four brothers are there in differrent cities shraadham mus t be done separately and shrardha sumangali prarthana in the next day must be done by any one of the . brothers. is enough. Rest three brotheres are not doing suman gali prarthana.Ganapadigal says any one of the brother

 

[kgopalan]

Ganabadigal says it is enough if any one of the brother performs sumangali prarthana. and it is not a mistake if done by all.