Solo soul

[Haridasa Siva]

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Eric Hoffer (1902-1983), American philosopher and author said,“A successful social technique consists perhaps in finding unobjectionable means for individual self-assertion”.

Lord Byron (1788-1824), British poet said,“I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone”.

Today’s Americans are set to give a practical interpretation to the above quotes, going by an article in the latest edition of the FORTUNE magazine. Here are some extracts from it:

· Only 51% of American adults today are married.
· 28% of all households now consist of just one person – the highest level in the U.S. history
· The percentage of Americans living by themselves has doubled since 1960.
· More than 40% of households have just one occupant in most U.S. cities. The rates are similar in London and Paris and even higher in Stockholm.
· A majority of American singletons are women, about 18 million, compared with 14 million men. Number of women living alone is higher at older ages (above 45) and that of men is higher in younger ages (below 45) (It is easier for a woman to find a man when she is still young and men are not interested in older women??)
· In 1950, 1% of Americans aged 20 to 29 lived alone and it has risen to about 11% in 2011.
· The 24 X 7 work culture makes living alone more attractive.
· Most people who live alone do it by choice.
· Not long ago, most women viewed getting married as the key moment in the transition to adulthood. But for a growing number, buying a home has become a powerful way to pivot from one life stage into another. It is a signal that they are embracing their independence.

What worries me is the concluding sentence in the article, which reads:“European countries already display higher rates of living alone than in the U.S. and there are sharp increases in countries like China, India and Brazil that suggests that many choose to live alone whenever there is sufficient wealth and comfort. For them, it is not punishment – it is liberation.”
I thought India is 50 years away from the U.S. in everything. But it seems to be faster in this area, unfortunately.

I am eager to hear from our members.

 

[Haridasa Siva]

I noticed that my post did not appear the way I posted it. I have since edited it to be easily readable.

 

[sarma-61]

Eric Hoffer (1902-1983), American philosopher and author said,“A successful social technique consists perhaps in finding unobjectionable means for individual self-assertion”.

Lord Byron (1788-1824), British poet said,“I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone”.

Today’s Americans are set to give a practical interpretation to the above quotes, going by an article in the latest edition of the FORTUNE magazine. Here are some extracts from it:

· Only 51% of American adults today are married.
· 28% of all households now consist of just one person – the highest level in the U.S. history
· The percentage of Americans living by themselves has doubled since 1960.
· More than 40% of households have just one occupant in most U.S. cities. The rates are similar in London and Paris and even higher in Stockholm.
· A majority of American singletons are women, about 18 million, compared with 14 million men. Number of women living alone is higher at older ages (above 45) and that of men is higher in younger ages (below 45) (It is easier for a woman to find a man when she is still young and men are not interested in older women??)
· In 1950, 1% of Americans aged 20 to 29 lived alone and it has risen to about 11% in 2011.
· The 24 X 7 work culture makes living alone more attractive.
· Most people who live alone do it by choice.
· Not long ago, most women viewed getting married as the key moment in the transition to adulthood. But for a growing number, buying a home has become a powerful way to pivot from one life stage into another. It is a signal that they are embracing their independence.

What worries me is the concluding sentence in the article, which reads:“European countries already display higher rates of living alone than in the U.S. and there are sharp increases in countries like China, India and Brazil that suggests that many choose to live alone whenever there is sufficient wealth and comfort. For them, it is not punishment – it is liberation.”
I thought India is 50 years away from the U.S. in everything. But it seems to be faster in this area, unfortunately.

I am eager to hear from our members.

Shri Siva sir,

I cannot claim any authoritative knowledge about India as a whole or even my state, Kerala. But from within my very limited zone of familiarity, direct and second hand, I feel the foreign magazine has included India without properly investigating - may be just to add force to the central theme of the article.

What I notice is that because of the nuclear family concept and since the younger generation invariably migrate to other countries or at least settle down in far away Indian cities, the old parents live alone in the place where they are happiest to live, and when one of them dies, the other mostly prefers to continue there itself till the end rather than go and stay with the children. In some cases the single parent lives in the same town or a very close suburb but, alone. Thus old people, both men and women, living alone, is probably increasing.

As for youngsters there seems to be a small increase in young men - particularly tabras - who could not get a proper alliance during their 'best years' for various reasons and they opt to remain unmarried thereafter. Though usually they live with their parents, sometimes the parents shift to another son or something like that and the unmarried fellows live as single. Girls/young women living alone is rather rare to find.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Do you know why people opt to live alone???

The tolerance limit of every person, in every age group, in both genders HAS decreased drastically. :tsk:

Financial freedom adds fuel to the fire. :flame:

There is no needed to depend on anyone for anything.

So there is no need to put up with anyone. :nono:

Being alone means freedom, liberty and fraternity
(as and when required of course)

Not that people like solitude more but because they detest commitments and adjustments more.

P.S. The title is as if some one is selling the Soul

"Solo Soul! Solo Soul! Soul vaangalaiyo Soul!"

 

[C RAVI]

Do you know why people opt to live alone???

The tolerance limit of every person, in every age, in both genders HAS decreased drastically. :tsk:

Financial freedom adds fuel to the fire. :flame:

There is no needed to depend on anyone for anything.

So there is no need to put up with anyone. :nono:

Being alone means freedom, liberty and fraternity
(as and when required of course)

Not that people like solitude more but because they detest commitments and adjustments more.

P.S. The title is as if some one is selling the Soul

"Solo Soul! Solo Soul! Soul vaangalaiyo Soul!"

Rightly said Shri Visalakshi Ramani. That's the bitter truth. Lack of tolerance, high level ego, self importance, selfishness, "I am the great and I am right" / "My ways are the only ways and that alone are the right ways" kind of attitude, betrayel, harshness/crudeness and cruelness in handling/dealing in the name of absolute rationality, financial independency are all leading to the existence of Solo souls across the globe.

 

[v arun kumar]

must be true, Mayawati lives alone, Jayalalita lives alone, uma bharti also i guess, and so does Vidya balan.

no wonder there is so much interests shown in Bra min threads

 

[sarma-61]

Rightly said Shri Visalakshi Ramani. That's the bitter truth. Lack of tolerance, high level ego, self importance, selfishness, "I am the great and I am right" / "My ways are the only ways and that alone are the right ways" kind of attitude, betrayel, harshness/crudeness and cruelness in handling/dealing in the name of absolute rationality, financial independency are all leading to the existence of Solo souls across the globe.

Shri Ravi sir,

While I agree that people in general, across the board, have now better incomes, I do not honestly think that people opting to live alone is because of the other reasons mentioned by you. Generally, there is a fear among the old parents that they will be required to give all their assets like house, deposits, etc., by their kids (sons, induced by DILs) and when once they completely milk the paents to the top of the udder, they will throw the old parents out like garbage.

Reports of such cruelty to parents is especially rampant in Kerala, and although the State Government has passed some laws to punish children neglecting their aged parents with even RI, and courts are firm in favour of the oldies, many people known to me closely say, "why make the mistake and then go to court, put your kids in jail and all that, when we can safely stay alone?".

Lack of tolerance is maximum among the newly-rich younsters who are by-products of the IT boom. I can show you many families in which the middle-aged couple have state/central govt/bank jobs and they keep their parents also along with them. Just yesterday, I heard an instance where the aged MIL (>85 years, widow) gets giddy and unconscious often because of some constriction in the blood vessel carrying blood to brain; the son and dil lock their house and go to office daily but now since the old woman is mostly seen as having fallen down most of the days when they return, they are seriously considering who should quit the job (because servants are untrustworthy in such circumstances).

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

What makes you think that any man will VENTURE to live with any one of them? :fear:

must be true, Mayawati lives alone, Jayalalita lives alone, uma bharti also i guess, and so does Vidya balan.

no wonder there is so much interests shown in Bra min threads

 

[C RAVI]

Shri Sarma,

Yes you are right. I have failed to indicate in my previous post that I have excluded old parents living alone while listing out the reasons for the existence of Solo Souls. With regard to old parents, I hold the same views that you have. My observation was only pertaining to modern time guys and gals who are all not so interested in / confident in having a married life and are ready to be seperated at the blink of the eyes.

 

[prasad1]

Soul is solo in its journey. I do not know whether human beings are fit to live alone. The body has much more demands.
Living alone by choice is a matter for the individual. That is perfectly valid when you are physically independent. A large number of people living alone is not by choice, it is because of circumstances. In USA it is the sad state among poor people. Nursing homes are heavily subsidized by government, but generally managed very poorly by unscrupulous operators. The people living in most of them are very lonely, without human contact. Their lot is worse than that of some prisoners.

In India, my friends run homes for disadvantaged women and now even men find shelter there. My brother runs a an organization called Dignity for elderly who are abused and discarded by their children. I guess it is selfishness and economy.

So before going on to praise the individuality I would take a second look behind the facts.

In Hinduism your spiritual journey is very selfish, You are alone in your journey.

 

[renuka]

In Hinduism your spiritual journey is very selfish, You are alone in your journey.

Dear sir,

In Hinduism our spiritual journey is SELFLESS and not Selfish.

Selfish is being self centered and attached to consequences but selfless is being centered around the duties of our life to others and yet being unattached.

 

[biswa]

Do you know why people opt to live alone???

The tolerance limit of every person, in every age group, in both genders HAS decreased drastically. :tsk:

Financial freedom adds fuel to the fire. :flame:

There is no needed to depend on anyone for anything.

So there is no need to put up with anyone. :nono:

Being alone means freedom, liberty and fraternity
(as and when required of course)

Not that people like solitude more but because they detest commitments and adjustments more.

P.S. The title is as if some one is selling the Soul

"Solo Soul! Solo Soul! Soul vaangalaiyo Soul!"

Mrs. VR, you are right on the money! I hope you can make some money by using your insights in some counselling or coaching of the youngsters. Very few people realize what they are doing when they are actually doing it.

 

[biswa]

must be true, Mayawati lives alone, Jayalalita lives alone, uma bharti also i guess, and so does Vidya balan.

no wonder there is so much interests shown in Bra min threads

No, no, this being my area of expertise I have to say that Vidya Balan is very much coupled. She has not officially tied the know that's all!

 

[biswa]

I think this may have been mentioned, but living together requires some shared sacrifice. Which not many people ware willing to make these days.

 

[Raji Ram]

What I heard in a 'pattimandram':

A family meant the group of people consisting of grand parents, parents, uncles, aunts and all the children - a few years back.

A family meant the group of people consisting of parents and their children - a little later.

A family will mean a man / a woman - very soon!!

 

[Raji Ram]

As Sri. Sarma pointed out in his post #2, most of the Tambrams move to overseas and do not wish to come back to India. The

visa formalities will allow the parents to stay only for a few months with them. As long as the parents are healthy and both are

alive, they can either manage with their own savings or manage with the financial support by their children. When one of them

leaves the world, the other has to manage all alone. Anyway, the senior solo men are very thankful to the catering services in

SingArach Chennai!

Even in the previous generation, parents opted not to live with their children, till they were able to manage their work by

themselves.

When we have a look at the matrimonial ads, many boys (?) over 30 and 40 advertise for their 'soul mates'!! If they work in a

place away from where their parents live, they have to be solo souls.

Prof. Nara pointed out in one of his earlier posts that the super seniors like to live alone, in the US, when I wrote that I felt sad

to see old ladies carry their stuff from the market and drive home all alone.

:ballchain: BUT.........eace:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

And to make any progress, we have to remain UNATTACHED and ALONE.

Dear sir,

In Hinduism our spiritual journey is SELFLESS and not Selfish.

Selfish is being self centered and attached to consequences but selfless is being centered around the duties of our life to others and yet being unattached.

 

[Raji Ram]

........... but selfless is being centered around the duties of our life to others and yet being unattached.

This may be called இல்லறத்தில் துறவறம்!! :thumb:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I am ready give counseling FREE of COST to anyone who

values it and seeks it. :welcome:

After all after getting battered by the ups and downs of life,

the experience and insight must be useful to someone at least.

When we were kids we respected our parents and teachers as

if they were living Gods. :hail:

Now children disobey their parents and stab their teachers.

When we were kids integrity was the most valuable possession

of any person. He might be an elementary school teacher

earning a two figure salary but he was still respected.

Now money (made in any way) has pushed all the other things

like Integrity and Dependability of a person to the background.

The new slogans are "Money is Honey" and "Money is Power."

Personally I don't think God values money very much.:nono:

Just look around and see the people He has has given it to!

Mrs. VR, you are right on the money! I hope you can make some money by using your insights in some counselling or coaching of the youngsters. Very few people realize what they are doing when they are actually doing it.

 

[renuka]

To a certain extent being around too many people familiar to you can be suffocating..being alone from time to time is also essential for us to connect to ourselves.

Wonder how many of you have felt this way before that sometimes we really want to be left all alone.

I enjoy solitude from time to time when I can really be my own self not a daughter,not a doctor, not a wife and not a mother..just be my own self.

I feel if one is healthy there is no harm staying alone but keep in touch from time to time with family etc just in case we drop dead someone can take us to the crematorium before we decompose.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Previously the Vaanaprasthaa and Sanyasam denoted this state.

Now we have to follow the rules in the confined space of our own homes.

This may be called இல்லறத்தில் துறவறம்!! :thumb:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

No need to worry dear Renu! :nono:

Even if our neighbors are real RATS, :heh:
they can still smell things out :deadhorse:

before it is too late.

To a certain extent being around too many people familiar to you can be suffocating..being alone from time to time is also essential for us to connect to ourselves.

Wonder how many of you have felt this way before that sometimes we really want to be left all alone.

I enjoy solitude from time to time when we can really be our own self not a daughter,not a doctor, not a wife and not a mother..just be my own self.

I feel if one is healthy there is no harm staying alone but keep in touch from time to time with family etc just in case we drop dead someone takes us to the crematorium before we decompose.

 

[renuka]

Personally I don't think God values money very much.:nono:

Just look around and see the people He has has given it to!

Dear VR Ji,

You know, I feel we should not view money as our enemy.Money is essential.Its just that we should let money be at our service and not let money rule us.

Dont you think thats why Lord Vishnu has Lakshmi at His feet too show that we should "rule" money and not let money "rule" us.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Matter => Molecule.
Molecule => Atom
Atom => Nucleus
Nucleus => sub atomic particle
(proton/ neutron/ electron depending on their temperamant)

What I heard in a 'pattimandram':

A family meant the group of people consisting of grand parents, parents, uncles, aunts and all the children - a few years back.

A family meant the group of people consisting of parents and their children - a little later.

A family will mean a man / a woman - very soon!!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Fire and money are :flame:
terrific servants but :couch2:
terrible masters! :scared:

Dear VR Ji,

You know, I feel we should not view money as our enemy.Money is essential.Its just that we should let money be at our service and not let money rule us.

Dont you think thats why Lord Vishnu has Lakshmi at His feet too show that we should "rule" money and not let money "rule" us.