Sharing my shock with you!

[Ramacchandran]

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Dear all,

For the last some months I didn't take part in this. Reason, I had a shocking news at that time that affected me a lot. After a long think over I am posting the news here.

One of my good friend, a philosopher, a top official in a govt org, daughter who is highly qualified, a brahmin drawing more than Rs.100,000 per month married a non hindu!

Few weeks before that marriage I visited him, enquired about the proposals and he proudly said, "You know Ram, I am looking for a groom who either doing his own business with two or three cars in his door, he must pay salary to at least 50 staffs and a good profit" etc., etc., or he must be a doctor, for whom I can gift a nursing home. But he should be in India that too in Tamil Nadu.

I agreed with him and left the palace.

After nearly 15 days I was told by some one that the girl married a Non Hindu, at the register office and at that time of marriage she was 3 months pregnent!
Now a baby boy born but with disabilities.

Now that every parent of the bride or groom offer education to his son/ daughter and after good education placeing them in high paid job using his influence and after that searching for a groom who is earning more than the bride.
They prefer IAS/IPS USA IIM, IIT etc., and if you ask the groom side they say our Sambhandhis should be wealthy enough so that he can spend more for the marriage and honey moon should be in SWISS!

Our brahmins now a days wish to go behind money but money can make manythings but not satisfaction. You can buy rituals at your door by paying high fees to the prohit. But you can not change a Chritisn or Muslim as brahmin.
The Brahmin community is facing a set back, where getting a seat in Engg collage itself is a dream for brahmin. He might be a good student in learing but hardly 20% get a seat. Wherever he goes he is facing challange and he fights for his rights.
The life will be sweet if the couple earns their own hard earned money and save and spend them.
If a rich man / couple after marrying if they coceive and after the brth of the baby, will hand over the responsibilties to MiL or house maids.
The parents fail to understand that the Grand Son or daughter should offer thila tharpanam after the death of the Grand father!
The vasam will break its chain if it is not continued and the unwanted wish will put every one in trouble.

I wish our members to share their views. Ofcourse I guess my friend who is affected will also read this tread as a guest!
He already admired my postings in this site and encouraged me a lot.

 

[nachi naga]

makes sense with your post.but gandharva marriage is accepted norm too.why parents shud not wish life of luxury power status or prestige.its normal thinking,isn't it?happiness is a relative term,why all this has to be dumped on us tambrahms,havent we suffered enuff of ignominy?lets celeberate our success and not always look into past poverty penury shastras,which has made things worse in our plight.no one cares for us,we shud take care of each other and help within our community first.if we are able to stand on our own,why we shud be afraid of any one?our self-confidence is our greatest wealth.sir,your translations of hymns,stotras,mantras gives me lot of solace,and i thank you for your service,peace.

 

[pvraman]

Dear Sir,

Today's generation live for themselves and it is a testimony that they fully understand and aware of the parent's double standards and hypocrisy, they themselves are the products. And if we analyse whatever we experience good or bad are the results of our own action or thinking.

This parent's agony is because of expectations. As usual it should be digested since we are living in "Modern World".

I read somewhere that a cancer patient who was given 4 months ultimatum, started to really live. Similarly, one who can not understand one's own oFf-spring is a real failure in life even if he amassed wealth. Either he can digest or get humble and do something for the poor so that his life have some meaning.

Regards

 

[renuka]

makes sense with your post.but gandharva marriage is accepted norm too.why parents shud not wish life of luxury power status or prestige.its normal thinking,isn't it?happiness is a relative term,why all this has to be dumped on us tambrahms,havent we suffered enuff of ignominy?lets celeberate our success and not always look into past poverty penury shastras,which has made things worse in our plight.no one cares for us,we shud take care of each other and help within our community first.if we are able to stand on our own,why we shud be afraid of any one?our self-confidence is our greatest wealth.sir,your translations of hymns,stotras,mantras gives me lot of solace,and i thank you for your service,peace.

Dear NachiJi,

I thought the Gandharva form of marriage is not permitted for a Brahmin.
And in Gandharva form of marriage..Garlands/rings are exchanged ala Shakunthala and Dushyant..

 

[C RAVI]

We all are discussing on many subjects here in favor as well as against of it. We share our views and opinions claiming the points valid to the best of our belief and understanding.

But when the real life situation comes to play, how many of us going to stand by our own view points and or that of other's which we have accepted or declined our self?

The expectations of the life of oneself and the dear ones are bigger than the realities of life. We all have been motivated to dream more and achieve more isn't it?

A person sitting on a stone and worrying for him/her and for the society would be like a dog barking at the sun.

 

[nachi naga]

Dear NachiJi,

I thought the Gandharva form of marriage is not permitted for a Brahmin.
And in Gandharva form of marriage..Garlands/rings are exchanged ala Shakunthala and Dushyant..

renu

technically,it's mating of two species.human race as humanity,thinks no end of itself,and loves to play god.the fact of the matter,god is everywhere,in everything,thats the power of

god.humans from time immemorial try to usurp this statushood of god from god itself.

gandarva,is union of hearts,and then only physical.in arranged marriage many factors are taken into consideration by elders in society,so that a semblance of order is established for the mind body and soul.lord krishna's marriage was a love marriage,incidently most of our gods and goddesses are love marriages only.

in fact,swami is in love with all of us thru the heart.he is the greatest lover of divine nature.

it is only with saptha rishis family,they exchange 'kanya danam' as 'anballippu' for each other rishis family.

 

[sunkan]

i think brahminism has become a joke with the vadhyars telling you so many things, he said if you do not have a son then even the pindam cannot be kept, so where is the point of thila tharpanam by the grandchildren, lets move on with life, let us atleast join together as brahmins and live life that way....sunkan

 

[nachi naga]

i think brahminism has become a joke with the vadhyars telling you so many things, he said if you do not have a son then even the pindam cannot be kept, so where is the point of thila tharpanam by the grandchildren, lets move on with life, let us atleast join together as brahmins and live life that way....sunkan

sunkan

its nice and heartwarming,that jocular vadhyars have been interacting in your life to admit that brahminism is a joke.when son is not there or daughter is not there,shastras reply,a daughter is like ardha-nari-iswara similiarly for a boy the ardha-nari-iswara.they can perform rites as it is.such progressive shastras exist in our scriptures for karma kaaryams.

 

[C RAVI]

sunkan

its nice and heartwarming,that jocular vadhyars have been interacting in your life to admit that brahminism is a joke.when son is not there or daughter is not there,shastras reply,a daughter is like ardha-nari-iswara similiarly for a boy the ardha-nari-iswara.they can perform rites as it is.such progressive shastras exist in our scriptures for karma kaaryams.

Sri nachi naga avargale....

It is believed and practiced that ladies, who give birth in this bhoo logam should not visit cremation ground, perform last rites and lit the pyre, in fact they are not supposed to visit even electrified crematoriums along with a dead body.

On your explanations above, I have a doubt saar...

I was made to understand that females (giving births) should not do ellu tharpanam and pindam dhaanam. In all females should not involve in any karmic activities for a departed soul, doing sangalpams and uttering relative vedic mantras.

 

[nachi naga]

ravi saar

Sri nachi naga avargale....

It is believed and practiced that ladies, who give birth in this bhoo logam should not visit cremation ground, perform last rites and lit the pyre, in fact they are not supposed to visit even electrified crematoriums along with a dead body.

On your explanations above, I have a doubt saar...

this is how men have been shielding women,from getting exposed to harsh realities,on account of women's behaviour in past generations.in present day circumstances,women are well read,well exposed to worldly as well as spiritual matters.shastras have never discriminated women at all,it's their for everyone to read and understand,i am not making this up as an individual.men are possesive of women and vice versa,in the bargain a skewed perception has become the norm.whatever men do,women can do,probably even more,is my assumption.its wrong to quote scriptures or shastras as pradanam,to prevent women from participating in every iota of life.

I was made to understand that females (giving births) should not do ellu tharpanam and pindam dhaanam. In all females should not involve in any karmic activities for a departed soul, doing sangalpams and uttering relative vedic mantras.

as i expressed earlier,there is nothing in shastras or puranaas,to suggest this with my limited knowledge.elders in family,must cooperate for changes to occur,the soul has no distinction at all.common sense should tell us all,without a man or womans vital participation,a human birth is a impossibility,those who promote otherwise are baymaanis.

 

[nachi naga]

as a further change,women should become vaadhyars,and show men,how to be inclusive of all human beings.only women have the inherent power,as by nature they are fair

 

[vijisesh]

Rightly Said....

Rightly said Shri C Ravi ..ji.........

Your observation is Reality - Defined -100 %

For the sake of discussions , many including myself act like angels of GOD and provide the ideal solutions........

But when one gets himself into a situation , he will not take one single suggestion from such discussions ...... He goes by his intuitions and more often it is predetermined by his belief, understanding and the colored glass that he uses to see the situation.

Sad Truth......... That may be one of the reasons why I see many interested in giving women additional rights .
May be at the back of their minds , they would've realized that this is a mere discussion !

We all are discussing on many subjects here in favor as well as against of it. We share our views and opinions claiming the points valid to the best of our belief and understanding.

But when the real life situation comes to play, how many of us going to stand by our own view points and or that of other's which we have accepted or declined our self?

The expectations of the life of oneself and the dear ones are bigger than the realities of life. We all have been motivated to dream more and achieve more isn't it?

A person sitting on a stone and worrying for him/her and for the society would be like a dog barking at the sun.

 

[sunkan]

while on this subject i remember having a conversation with my husband when alive, he used to tell funny conceptions so better be ready in case i go before you i will be hanging around in the andharangam...and today to think of those words, one never knows what is on the other side atleast one could be human enough to treat the women and her children and let them do the srardham for their own peace...sunkan

 

[vijisesh]

Einstein's Relativity theory applies here too !

Rather than venturing into the roots of vedas and upanishads in deciphering " What happens if the Women folk get into doing the rituals !" ( which may require a lifetime by itself !), it is logical to follow the heart , go ahead and do the ritual .......

The Day we reach the almighty and if at all we are questioned about why did you do this or it wasn't meant for you , you always have an excuse saying ...
Listen GOD, your rules were not clear and i need to be pardoned out of ignorance !

So in a free world , who can question what rituals one follows at his home ?

 

[arya]

Baby born with disabilities has nothing to do with intercaste marriage.
Parental education of their children on their heritage,family tradition etc. during their formative years helps a lot in the boy/girl feeling proud of their religion and customs.
arya

 

[renuka]

Dear all...

sometimes i feel like laughing when i see people talking about males and females and the limitations of a female...

Doesnt our scriptures say..I am not the mind..I am not the intellect..I am not memory...I am not the ego etc..I am Chidananda Roopah Shivoham Shivoham...

So what is the problem here...We hindus have yet to prcatise what we preach..

You know the word Putra in sanskrit means..
Put...Hell
Trayate..saves..

So a son is one who saves us from hell..by doing the oblations..

Ok so does the word Putri...
Put--Hell
Trayate-- saves..

Putra is masculine
Putri is feminine
Thats all....

Anyway dont attach too much importants to rituals also..we all have our own karma..
If we behave well ..we need not be in hell the first place..
so we can save ourselves first..

When i die..I do not want to burden my son by doing Pinda daan for me..
what for?
if i sinned..i am daring enough to pay for it and not let anyone else bail me out...
is bail really possible..in the first place?

 

[nachi naga]

renu,

Dear all...

sometimes i feel like laughing when i see people talking about males and females and the limitations of a female...

male and female appear for progeny,how can there ever be limitation's to that?so male=female,ardha-nara nari-iswara

Doesnt our scriptures say..I am not the mind..I am not the intellect..I am not memory...I am not the ego etc..I am Chidananda Roopah Shivoham Shivoham...

i am i. aham brahmasmi

So what is the problem here...We hindus have yet to prcatise what we preach..

we preach as well as practice,unwittingly without our own knowledge,trick is become aware

You know the word Putra in sasnkrit means..
Put...Hell
Trayate..saves..

So a son is one who saves us from hell..by doing the oblations..

Ok so does the word Putri...
Put--Hell
Trayate-- saves..

Putra is masculine
Putri is feminine
Thats all....

Anyway dont attach too much importants to rituals also..we all have our own karma..
If we behave well ..we need not be in hell the first place..
so we can save ourselves first..

there are no latitudes or longitudes for hell or heaven,it's a state of mind,liberate the mind,you are in sat chit ananda

When i die..I do not want to burden my son by doing Pinda daan for me..
what for?
if i sinned..i am daring enough to pay for it and not let anyone else bail me out...
is bail really possible..in the first place?

when one dies its the body which perishes or decomposes,the athma is ever effulgent,as it was never born nor does it die

paapam or punyam accrues karma

out of gratitude the son does pithru karyam from innate gratitude,as a proxy,which makes sure when the athma does take another body,the body is in peace,as athma is the doer.isn't it?

 

[renuka]

Dear Nachi..

Atma is not the doer..Atma is the witness isnt it..?

this Nirvana ashtakam describes the Atma the best...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptlc-QlHuoQ

 

[nachi naga]

Dear Nachi..

Atma is not the doer..Atma is the witness isnt it..?

this Nirvana ashtakam describes the Atma the best...


YouTube - CHIDANANDA ROOPAH SHIVOHAM by Pandit Jasraj Shiv Upasana Vol 3

renu

witness for what?for action isn't it?

 

[C RAVI]

Dear All,

These discussions are really interesting....

We all are in a corporate world, we all are progressing and achieving to the best of our capacity, we all are participating in social activities of all kind, without any gender bias....It's great, it's appreciable and in true sense it's logical and just full...

We know that today's females are in par with men, for everything in everything...I think we Indians are known for our tradition and culture but on the flip side we were still included among few countries that are full of gender prejudice..

Fortunately or unfortunately we are depending on written shastras to substantiate gender variations in India in vedic terms and are making maximum efforts to be well developed civilians so as to be excluded from those few countries that are full of gender prejudice.

Fortunately or unfortunately many of we guys started liking our females to go to late night pubs, drinking alcohol to the extent possible, indulging in sex as one's own need with mutual consent, avoiding breast feeding to babies in order to keep things in tact and since it's considered to be outdated fashion, indulging in partner swapping, indulging in any activities that a corporate environment demands etc, etc,......probably because some of we guys wants to enjoy all the above essence of our short life without objections from our female members.

As Sri Vijisesh has correctly stated - "So in a free world , who can question what rituals one follows at his home ?"

- In this free world with full of gender equality, no one has the right to question any one and to distinguish between male and female species in every aspects of life.

After all we are turning out to be just one kind of species in God's creation, differing only by understanding God and attempting to liberate our soul. For this process we now started considering that every soul is gender less and irrespective of the male/female body it has assumed, can do whatever with out any differences, as one's own right, as one's own wish, as one's own short life to be fulfilled......There is no need to understand one self as a male or female....Every one wants to be considered as just a soul and be equal in all...

Some of we guys are still outdated and consider that females got special values in our life, they are pure and divine, they are tender and symbol of love....and in all they are above we guys and we need to be refined and good enough to be worthy to them.

In shaastrams where females are considered to be fragile in emotions (comparatively), a symbol of love, superior being able to bring new life on this Earth, and based on that whatever the vedic society could frame the systems for Karmic performances, fortunately or unfortunately many of we guys started considering them as male dominant ridiculous concepts and bringing reformation to the society.

Reformations are really imperative….But, in this free world, it’s ambiguous to understand what is reformation?

 

[nachi naga]

change is the only permanent action.

 

[C RAVI]

Sri nachi naga ji,

You are right to note that change is the only permanent action...Otherwise one has to live in jungles..

I wish that some of the out dated male and female species should have the strength, courage and the intelligence to adopt to the changes of this free world, otherwise one have to live in isolation..

 

[nachi naga]

Sri nachi naga ji,

You are right to note that change is the only permanent action...Otherwise one has to live in jungles..

I wish that some of the out dated male and female species should have the strength, courage and the intelligence to adopt to the changes of this free world, otherwise one have to live in isolation..

ravi sir

when i am here why fear,is what shirdi sai baba used to preach.when fear is removed from a being replaced with prema sathya ananda dharma shanthi ahimsa,only mangala kaaryam will happen.but our karmas play an important role too.so even if male and female species adopt change,a spiritual guides blessings is crucial,for the outcome for future generations to progress,imho.

in corporate world we all adapt and adopt,several things,but when we retire,bhakthi margam nama smaranam is all we have to indulge,some succeed,some owing to past corporate afflictions rue in misery.

 

[C RAVI]

Sri nachi naga ji,

Well said....

As you said there is nothing wrong to be in guise through out our life and play different role with different mind set and motive as the situation demands...

After retirement, social involvement comparatively declines, physical fitness drastically declines and in many cases need to show to the society that "I am a religious man carrying bundle of philosophical knowledge and experience, and wants to bless the growing kids" and be in bakthi maargam...because that's seems to be only solution to be in peace and to seek apology to God for the sins we have committed knowingly or unknowingly as the situation demanded and the brain/body acted. Because many believe that Atma is not the doer, it's just witness what the body does..

But I believe with my limited self knowledge and understanding that, the whole body from the head to the toe, is just apparatus for the atma to act and react as per the gunas of the Atma, that again with the help of spirituality and basic human knowledge, that atma gains during its tenure of survival in this earth in the form of human, can understand and strive to live the right way. The more the atma understands, carrying all the senses of its pre-programmed exclusive apparatus, it helps the atma to strive for moksham.

In all the religion, it's believed by many people that, one can do what ever one wants in his/her life time for the benefit of one self and one's family, but if surrendered to GOD seeking apology sincerely before death, can wash out all their sins.

It's really interesting to get to know such tricks...

"Ishwar, Allah, Wahe Guru, Chaahe Kaho Sri Ram, Maalik Sabka Ek Hai, Alag-Alag Hai Naam"

And in the same way, what ever we have done during our life span, doesn’t matter.. When we surrender to GOD at the end, we all are purified souls.

 

[kr subramanian]

Dear Friends Arewe not drifting away from the original thread posted? The discussion is now regarding pindam etc. It is better to look after elders when there are alive and get their blessings rather than doing rituals after their death. After death rituals are helpful to vadhyars only.

IN ancient days female were not given education and kept looking house hold duties. Now having received education and widened their knowledge earning money have changed their view towards life. We have not fully westernised to look at par with women. We are in transit period hence we could not digest full freedom of women. When we upgrade ourself to look at par with women where is the question of caste religion etc?