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Same gotram marriage between Iyer and Iyengar

Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
 

prasad1

Active member
Coming out in defense of two lovers who belong to the same gotra (ancestral lineage), a city court on Thursday observing that the age-old Hindu tradition that prohibits marriage between two individuals of the same gotra does not hold good in modern times and the statue does not bar such a relationship.

“It is evident that the law does not prohibit a swagotra marriage and hence there is no reason why two individuals who are in love and are not within the prohibited degree of relationship cannot be allowed to marry and live happily as man and wife,” Additional Sessions Judge Kamini Lau said.

The tradition denouncing such marriages was instituted for the purposes of invocation and rituals and later extended to marriage only on account of genetic reasons for “maintaining hybrid vigour,” the court said.

“The Hindu Marriage Act, which abrogates and modifies all the past laws and has made marriage now strictly adult and monogamous; has done away with the caste and gotra restriction,” the court observed.

The court's clarification of the legal propositions with regard to social opposition to swagotra marriages came while deciding an anticipatory bail application of a youth who had been accused of kidnapping and marrying a girl of the same gotra as his.

“It is time that certain misconception about swagotra marriage are cleared and there is need to educate people in view of thoughtless opposition to such marriages and ruthless aftermath which follows in the form of honour killing or social ostracisation,” the court said.

 

prasad1

Active member
Gotras are believed to be descendants of 'Saptarishis.' Back in the days, brahmins considered themselves to be successors of 8 Saptarishis namely Angirasa, Atri, Gautam, Kashyapa, Bhrigu, Vasistha, Kutsa, and Bharadwaja. These 8 rishis collectively are called Gotrakarin, which means the roots of Gotras. However, from the 8, today, a total of 49 Gotras have been established.

If intercaste marriage was not allowed how come the same Gotra cam be found among Brahmin, Rajputs, and Vaisyas?
Gothra at best is similar to an Alumni system. Our ancestors went to the Goshala of there reshies. They were proud of their achievement and added it to their name. Just as people who pass the IAS, and add that to their names.

If you search through the archives of this forum, we have discussed numerous times.


Same-gotra marriage legal, court had ruled 65 years ago
 

prasad1

Active member
To be honest, if you have doubts, YOU are not ready. Marriage is not for the faint of hearts. In marriages, there are numerous challenges, this a minor point at best, but your family will keep you reminding this. My sister-in-law's marriage was a same-gotra arranged marriage, and they just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

The tradition of Gothra's only originated in the 14th century. There will be uneducated followers of tradition who will be against Sa-gotra's marriage. So you can join them or be an enlightened human being and do what your heart tells you to do.
 

rameshjey

Active member
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
First thing is if you believe Gothra that is transmitted from our Rishis is actual gene of the Rishis. There is no evidence for that because like dinasours we have not found any Rishi's DNA from excavations. Second Iyer /Iyengar classificaton came about only during AD era and so the lineage would still point to the same rishi irrespective of whether you are Iyer or Iyengar. So the decison is best left to you and yr would- be. In astrology there is a bypass given that says that if there is mutual willingness to get into marital bond all astrological constartints can be relaxed and some parikaaram done. It is only a belief system.
 
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
A friend of mine now 60years old from Iyer family married same Gothra Iyengar Girl some 30 years before and they are living very happily with a son who also got married and al are very prosperous and healthy . Please go ahead, as i feel the restrictions are not created by God whom we all believe
 

subramanian ram

New member
If you are mentally & Physically compatible all other things are secondary. In the year 2020 talking about Iyer, Iyengar difference is amusing. Even if one of you has the slightest doubt dont go ahead with the marriage. It is better to play safe rather than be sorry. Ultimately everything depends upon how well you know each other & prepared to make sacrifices.
 
If you are mentally & Physically compatible all other things are secondary. In the year 2020 talking about Iyer, Iyengar difference is amusing. Even if one of you has the slightest doubt dont go ahead with the marriage. It is better to play safe rather than be sorry. Ultimately everything depends upon how well you know each other & prepared to make sacrifices.
I fully endorse Subramaniam Ram's vew and this Iyerathuponnu should go ahead in marrying whom you love .
 
Karnataka&Maharashtra.In other parts of the country Including the Hindus of Nepal, it is against&not in practice. In Kerala, மாமா/அம்மாவன் is accorded with higher regard& rrespects&treated with due respcts pf father. So, sentimental considerations afterwards that is after falling in love,doesn't hold. Get married&be happy,do not go back from the plans. No wrongdoing. Best Wishes
 
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
There is a basis for Gotra (I have read something about Y chromosomes here). But if you truly love this person and he is compatible there are things you can do. Have your uncle or someone else 'adopt you' just by a ritual and become that Gotra. Then you marry and carry on with your husband's Gotra. This kind of convolutions exist to please a few who may voice objections.

If your worry is for other reasons other than gotra then do not proceed.

Iyer/Iyangar aspects need not be an issue if either of the two families are NOT extremists. (We have a few extreme types in this forum, I would not want alliance with some of them for sure LOL)
 

tbs

0
hi

it is better than marrying christian/muslims.....both brahmins with same gothra...we had in our family...its ok..

if u feel comfort...then proceed....dont be sorry later....
 
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
Hi Iyer Ponnu,
1)Just do not bother about the Gotram and go ahead and marry the boy of your choice boldly. You will be very much within reason and science if you do that. Please read my second para here on that. If there are practical problems in getting it done with all rituals ( because we cherish them in our memories for all time to come and you do not want to miss any of them -- rituals like hand holding and making pradakshinam of Agni, playful indulgence in Nalangu with elderly women singing and egging you on to test the boy's abilities in playing the game, Ammi mithiththal, Arundati paarthal etc) then choose the unique solution of requesting an appropriate relative couple of a different gotram to do the kannika dhanam. There will be someone available in the family who will happily officiate after accepting you as a daughter in a simple ritual..
2)Now the most important question about being brother and sister because of same gotram.
In Brahmin community while doing the pitr tharppanam every Amavasya, masappirappu, ashtaka, anvashtaka,mahalayam etc., all brahmins offer sesame seeds and water to a group called ajnaatha pithrun and pithrupathnis. If you think a little deep about it you will wonder who these ajnaatha pithrus and pithrupatnis can be. In a unbroken chain of known pitrus and pitrupatnis to whom generations have offered sesame seeds and water, wherefrom can these ajnaatha(unknown) pitrus walk in? If you think a little deeply you will understand that they indeed can. That is the greatness of our religion. So that would mean that we can not be very sure about the lineage in the distant disturbed/darker past. That settles your dilemma and worry. All the best.
 
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
My suggestion: Ensure medically compatable to have healthy children. If ok, make your mind to sail along with your chosen partner. You need patience and diplomacy to build bridges with relatives to enjoy life full of contradictions. Your goal must be to decide together to keep your life happy and worthy. Best Wishes.
 

Madras123

New member
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
Hi, have you gotten any clarity on this?
 
It doesn't matter, irrespective of any other consideration, it's case of ச கோத்ரா meaning belonging to one's own gotra sa(mine/என்னுடைய)+gota, meaning thereby belonging to one's(own)gotra, equivalent to sagotra=one's brother like/sister like. This is not prescribed, but scientific tenability is to be ascertained, and what the experts in field have to say on medically. Debatable issue. Men/women of sagotra, having married but no issue faced&doing well.
ந பா ஸா நப்ஸ்
Slr.
 

Mani_Chennai

Active member
If you have compatible RH factor (blood gorup O with RH +ve or both have RH-, and since a number of generation has passed away, marriage is OK. If one is richthey give the boy or girl as sweegaram to a rich family member of a different Gotra and get married (to preseve the wealth).
When people lived in small villages, two genration separation was expected to prevent genetic diseases.. But now you can have a medical and DNA test and go with your marrige.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Hi. I'm an iyer girl belonging to Kaundinya gotram. I'm in relationship with an thenkalai-iyengar boy who belongs to the same Kaundinya gotram. Such sudden revelation and realization that we belonging to the same gotrams caught us off guard. (As we've told people belonging the same gotrams are brothers and sisters). He said it is fine but I am just worried. Should I be worried? Will we be asked not to get married? Please guide me.
Logically your are not brother and sister per DNA.

You could do this..both of you do a DNA test to see how closely related you both are.
If its shows nothing significant..just go ahead and marry.
 
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