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Pre Requisites to be part of the "Intelligentsia" in Tamil Nadu

  • Thread starter Thread starter hariharan1972
  • Start date Start date
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Often Wondered what are the pre-requisites to be a part of the “intelligentsia” in Tamil Nadu

My thoughts -

a) Denounce anything related to Hinduism. It is perfectly fine if your spouse/children are staunch devotees

b) If you are a movie star ensure that you play in atleast 1 or preferably all the foll roles

Rickshaw puller/coolie/’local pattarai’; living in a slum; romance a very very fair iyer/iyengar girl; sing 3 duets & 1 thathuva paadal; sermonise the heroine’s father about ‘no caste no creed no rich no poor’ & “reform him”. In the end give alwa to the slum dwellers & settle with your heroine in her bungalow. Casteism is dead.

Anti-hero; take on the caste-conscious local pannaiyar; rebel against him; hide in forest; ‘people with you police against you’ – depending on whether the police is a forgotten hero or a struggling villain either change him or kill him; romance a fair looking girl; till the penultimate scene don’t know that she is pannaiyar’s daughter ; with her help finish her father & establish social justice.

You are padinnettu patti (18 villages to the uninitiated) panchayat leader; Harvard MBA fair North Indian girl comes to the village; She “falls for you”; Upper caste son of the villain makes a lower caste girl pregnant; he refuses to marry her; Bring your eyes into a deep red for a close shot – if difficult contract conjunctivitis before the shoot; take a silambu & thrash the hell out of the villain’s son till he is about 90% dead; he reforms & marries the girl; villain goes mad; in the final fight, slice him in full public view using the sword of the kaval deivam. Social justice is established.

c) Say ‘tamizh yendan moochu ; tamizh yendan peechu’. Ensure all in your parambarai - son, grandson, great grandson upto your gardener’s son are educated in American Universities

d) Use ‘Thooya Tamizh’ while speaking on camera. Include terms like ‘parinama valarchi’ ; ‘tamizhin maatchimai’ in good measure

e) Proclaim you are the truest of all Dravidans. If you are a movie producer however book ‘arya’ for your movie as hero.

f) Say ‘vetti’ (‘veshti’ is brahmanical mind you !!!) is the traditional attire of tamilians. However attend all functions in a spotless white kurta pyjama.

g) If you are a lyricist, pen “tamil” songs using ‘meaningful & researched’ tamil words like ‘hai re hai re hai rabba’ interspersed with “50 kg”, “Taj Mahal” etc…

h) Denounce ‘uruva vazhipaadu’ – Idol worship. However garland ‘Periyar’/ ‘Anna’ / ‘Ambedkar’ statues on their birthdays/anniversaries. Ignore Rajaji.
i) Issue public messages on Id/Ramzan/Christamas/Muharram. Maintain a stoic silence on Diwali.

j) Start a signature campaign for pardon to ‘Afzal’

k) If you are a communist, ignore China’s claim on Arunachal Pradesh. Don’t worry about W Bengal becoming half-bangladesh.

l) Denounce Astrology. However the mag you edit give a free copy for ‘Guru peryarchi palangal’ or if you run a newspaper have a ‘Sothidam’ (“Jo” is vadamozhi mind you) section

m) Wear vetti to parliament esp while presenting budget. Include 2/3 kurals in budget speech.

n) Denounce caste specific ads for marriages but ensure your son/daughter is married into a Brahmin fold.

o) Participate in a protest march to covert the 69% reservation into 96% reservation.

p) Support Saddam Hussein

q) If you own a channel don’t miss to telecast “special programmes” on every hindu festival to get high TRPs & AD revenues but don’t indulge in any public private celebrations

r) Call Brahmins as “paarpaan”

s) Get the film industry to organize a “paarattu vizha” where all heros’ sons of soil heap praises on you. Import all fair looking North Indian girls for skimpy clad dances

t) Wear Karai Vetti & Black Shirt everywhere & anywhere & at all times.

u) Apply tar on any hindi board. Get more ministerial berths & justify giving it to a first time MP on the grounds that ‘he is fluent in Hindi’.

v) Disallow Sanskrit in temples but turn a deaf ear to ‘Arabic / English’ in other places of worship

w) Once in a while remember to say ‘ we support tamizh eeezham’

x) Ensure you are the chief guest for any match in Chidambaram Stadium. As usual handover Winner’s trophy & MoM to Australia / S A / Pakistan. Grin & ensure enough snaps are taken on the occasion.

y) Write Urai nool (Explanatory notes) for Thirukkural

z) Periodically fly VP Singh / Ram Vilas Paswan etc.. to Chennai. Hold a public meeting in Seerani Arangam & pose with joined hands. Get this photo splashed in all dailies.
The definition of intellegentsia varies from location to location, society to society and also changes with time.

During the heydays of socialism, it was fashionable to condemn rich and the mighty and sing paens of the progress made by socialist block countries.

Collapse of iron curtain saw the pundits doing volte-face: Now, free market ang globalization became the vedas for them.

In between and on and off, it becomes fashionable to oppose government initiated developmental projects etc as part of OCD-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Any argument can be conveniently exploited by the intellegentsia to feed their OCD.
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