S
sudeshwer
Guest
Immovable property gets outlived its useful life, either because of depleted strength or because of outdated design, and therefore it has less market value.
To-day I find this argument is almost, if not equally applicable to old age man. When you are young, energetic and earning lots of money, you command certain respect from your family, friends and society in general. Your very young children look at you as their role model. They feel that you know the answer for every question in this universe. Almost all decisions in the family matters are made with your approval.
When you are in your middle age, and your children are in their early teens, they start comparing you with the parents of some of their friends; although they do not express it. This is perhaps due to their immature age and inability to understand the financial position of their friend’s parents and their own parents. Sometimes, they confide in their mother and express their feelings. At this stage mother’s role is crucial. If she fails to explain the reality to the child, the child starts nursing some little grudge for you.
When your child becomes young adult and when you are around fifty, the phase of occasional argument and difference of opinion starts. At this stage mother’s role becomes most important, as the child is more close to the mother than the father. Mother’s position becomes difficult, as she wants to keep husband as well as child, both happy with her. Whenever, mother argues on behalf of child, father feels heart.
A big change comes when the child starts earning and becomes financially independent. There is drastic reduction in your decision making power. You come to know about certain changes through your wife, who tries to convince you regarding the merit of the decision. I do not know, perhaps mothers start preparing themselves for their future dependency to the child. Some time you feel bad about not consulting you before doing certain thing and informing you only after it has been done.
Marriage if bound to bring certain changes in your child. As long as these changes are within certain acceptable parameters, you start adjusting yourself to the new situation. The real turmoil within you starts when you feel that you do not command respect which you should get by the standards of our society.
By this time, children have created their own image in their circle and they jealously want to protect it. Even a small unintentional mistake by you requires an explanation; you feel you have completely lost your position in the family, for which you have worked so hard.
Fortunately, our society is still sensitive. People outside your immediate family still respect your wisdom, your past performance and your positive aspects in life. This perhaps re-fuels your jest for life. Here, instead of having a feeling of Obsolescence, you have a feeling of heritage status.
The picture could be improved if father changes himself at different stages of his child’s life. When the child becomes young adult, father should completely stop giving unsolicited advice on any subject. Guide him whenever he seeks your guidance. Do not try to control his finances, let him spend the money that he has earned, in any manner he wants to spend. If you need some financial help, discuss with him. Do not meddle with his relationship with his wife or his in-laws. If you notice that your child does not wish that you should be in contact with his friends, respect his wishes. These changes can give you lots of peace of mind, during your old age.
To-day I find this argument is almost, if not equally applicable to old age man. When you are young, energetic and earning lots of money, you command certain respect from your family, friends and society in general. Your very young children look at you as their role model. They feel that you know the answer for every question in this universe. Almost all decisions in the family matters are made with your approval.
When you are in your middle age, and your children are in their early teens, they start comparing you with the parents of some of their friends; although they do not express it. This is perhaps due to their immature age and inability to understand the financial position of their friend’s parents and their own parents. Sometimes, they confide in their mother and express their feelings. At this stage mother’s role is crucial. If she fails to explain the reality to the child, the child starts nursing some little grudge for you.
When your child becomes young adult and when you are around fifty, the phase of occasional argument and difference of opinion starts. At this stage mother’s role becomes most important, as the child is more close to the mother than the father. Mother’s position becomes difficult, as she wants to keep husband as well as child, both happy with her. Whenever, mother argues on behalf of child, father feels heart.
A big change comes when the child starts earning and becomes financially independent. There is drastic reduction in your decision making power. You come to know about certain changes through your wife, who tries to convince you regarding the merit of the decision. I do not know, perhaps mothers start preparing themselves for their future dependency to the child. Some time you feel bad about not consulting you before doing certain thing and informing you only after it has been done.
Marriage if bound to bring certain changes in your child. As long as these changes are within certain acceptable parameters, you start adjusting yourself to the new situation. The real turmoil within you starts when you feel that you do not command respect which you should get by the standards of our society.
By this time, children have created their own image in their circle and they jealously want to protect it. Even a small unintentional mistake by you requires an explanation; you feel you have completely lost your position in the family, for which you have worked so hard.
Fortunately, our society is still sensitive. People outside your immediate family still respect your wisdom, your past performance and your positive aspects in life. This perhaps re-fuels your jest for life. Here, instead of having a feeling of Obsolescence, you have a feeling of heritage status.
The picture could be improved if father changes himself at different stages of his child’s life. When the child becomes young adult, father should completely stop giving unsolicited advice on any subject. Guide him whenever he seeks your guidance. Do not try to control his finances, let him spend the money that he has earned, in any manner he wants to spend. If you need some financial help, discuss with him. Do not meddle with his relationship with his wife or his in-laws. If you notice that your child does not wish that you should be in contact with his friends, respect his wishes. These changes can give you lots of peace of mind, during your old age.
