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Morden Marraiges "Soul Searching or Skill Set Searching"

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Its a little bit climate relief, Kathiri Veyil (Dog days) has buried its face in the blue skies. People start busily engaging themselves in the matrimonial trading account.

A lucrative business at its top niche. Complex astrological software’s, exclusive data base management, chat shows, event management on Swaymaram’s, what else???? And what not????

Parents of men and women, men swarm with a ray of hope and a glimpse of all the natal chats to grab their mattu-ponnu (daughter in law) and maru-magan (son in law). The new data base management technique is adopted, sorting based on Profession, Salary, properties, and subsect. Apart from the regular Stars and Gothram, matching.

Corporate women now days are a bit highly proactive thinking, they start expecting their hubbys to be technocrats, highly paid, macho, adventure sporting and the basics software engineer, US green card holder.

The worst part is women’s parents who expect their son-in-law, to be a minimum of M.tech / MS, green card holders paid in dollars, ask them did they ever achieve this in their life answer is big NO, not even aimed about it.

I am not criticizing expectations, but ladies I am asking you a question, “Did the early Brahmins develop software’s and design programming languages, where we taught artificial intelligence, black box testing in the gurukuls and temples, where our forefathers from Boston, Houston or Chicago???”

Why is their paradigm shift among men and women in choosing their life partners, marriage is a bonding reaction of two souls and neither education, money or profession.

Did our mother, grandma or any of our family ladies expected their hubbys to be IT gurus, or did our father grandfather or our family men expected a corporate woman to carry a palm tops and wi-fi phones.

Let’s remove our closed mindset that IT is the only profession in the world, and try to do soul searching rather than skill set searching.
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Rightly said!

I think parents and children should have a open mind as young people have opportunities to improve their qualifications and professions. So they should let the boy and girl find out if they like each other and if they do then the parents should not stand in the way.

Gothram mismatch should be there. But the jaathakapporutham should be eschewed. What is destined cannot be changed, so what is the purpose of horoscopy?

Whichever parent wants the lavish marriage they should pay for it.

i wish i had written your reply! i have no problem aping, when it comes to reflect my way of thinking.

after, imitation is the best form of flattery.

hope you don't mind being flattered!

good posting.

i have been out of india for over 35 years, and hence not quite part of this process for my children, who have vehemently stated that they will find their own partners!

we (wife and moi) have also told them, that we will educate them for 3 out of the 4 years of undergrad studies, and will loan them the 4th year amount. re marriage expenses, we have in mind a certain small amount which can be given as cash gift. how they want to spend it (downpayment to a house, or a party) is upto them.

they have known this all along, and we hope, all of us, are strong enough to keep our ends of the bargain.

one query i have for you - you have emphasized the changing expectations of our girls in india. how about the boys? is it the same? or are they in a defensive position.

re the search tools, this sounds awesome. are these, in addition to shaadi.com etc ? please let us know.

thank you.
Dear kunjuppu,

I am glad we are on the same page and I am sure there are many more such pages!

I am afraid the modern technology and government policies have much to contribute to the malice. Ever since the technology revealed that it could tell whether a woman is pregnant with a boy or a girl, not only the Brahmin community but other communities as well have aborted female fetuses.
Also the capitalist economy that breeds insecurity and the govt. exhortation to limit families and its discouragement to those who ignore them (the govt. servants who beget more children were penalised) have all contributed to fewer females especially among the Brahmins and among the elites of the non-Brahmins.

Now you have a glimpse of the technology driven secularist economy and its social concepts that create the awful mess in society.
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