Matrimonials , Vegetarianism and future

[tks]

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I wanted to share a statistics that I came across recently. Then there are other informal statistics which are not scientific but based on experience of a few.

1. There is an image depicting ratio of Vegetarians and Non-vegetarians in India. It appeared in the June 12, 2016 edition of Indian express

Here is the link

http://epaper.newindianexpress.com/838506/The-New-Indian-Express-Chennai/12062016#page/1/1

Are the stats believable?? Only 2% of Tamil Nadu people are vegetarians?

2. Informal and non-scientific statistics of looking at matrimonials - I find more vegetarian from the northern part of India which sort of correlates with the Indian Express statistics

3. Many TB I know have 'become' non-veg in India and certainly in USA There is a fascination with becoming nonvegetarians it seems.

4. Two of our Sastrigals (trained in proper Gurukula setting in India for many years and now living in USA) told me that one out of 10 marriages they conduct are cross race/ cross cultures etc. They say TB to TB marriages are rare and to find both of them to be vegetarians is even rarer. Again this is just a data point of recent experience.

From a practical stand point, children born outside India and raised in a TB culture is rare. They have a tough time finding suitable alliances if they are looking for

a. Raised in TB household (cultural aspects)
b. Vegetarians
c. Not superstitious saddled with horoscope mandates
d. Broad minded
e. Responsible and trustworthy
f. Non drinkers
g. Born in the country of their birth

If one is able to settle for four of seven, it is easy to find alliances.

I find many TB boys and girls now in their early 30s who are unable to find anyone. My suggestions for them is to drop items a, f and g as requirements for starters.

Most of all I was surprised at the statistics quoted in the edition of Indian Express

Comments?

 

[tbs]

hi

when we compare TBs and GUJJUS IN USA.....GUJJUS ARE MORE VEGETARIAN THAN A TB s in USA....just example..i atteneded

gujju weddings regularly..they are very particular especially older generations....but many TB s attended.....many TBs

prefer white boys/gals in USA....SO THEIR FOOD IN WEDDINGS NON VEG ARE VERY COMMON...TB TO TB weddings

very rarest...

 

[yesmohan]

I wanted to share a statistics that I came across recently. Then there are other informal statistics which are not scientific but based on experience of a few......................................



a. Raised in TB household (cultural aspects)
b. Vegetarians
c. Not superstitious saddled with horoscope mandates
d. Broad minded
e. Responsible and trustworthy
f. Non drinkers
g. Born in the country of their birth

If one is able to settle for four of seven, it is easy to find alliances.

I find many TB boys and girls now in their early 30s who are unable to find anyone. My suggestions for them is to drop items a, f and g as requirements for starters......

Comments?

Ji,

Don't you have " d " (broad mind)....................... to waive " b " also........... as " b " and " f " are interconnected and inseparable.

 

[vgane]

Ji,

Don't you have " d " (broad mind)....................... to waive " b " also........... as " b " and " f " are interconnected and inseparable.

Then what will be left of us?

 

[krish44]

Who told you vgane that non drinkers could alone be veg. ?

Many consume drinks but remain veg.{ I am one of that category.lol]

Veg and drink have no correlation.

Setting up specs for matches by boys or parents of boys is foolish.

They should take what they can get without digging deeply into any item a to g.

Girls could select one close to their home[to be near their parents].

Responsible and trustworthy-If girls are looking for house husband to look after kitchen and kids, then these are of paramount importance.

Others are not relevant in modern context.

Girls decide what they want.If they are incapable of finding a mate on their own, they are not worth marrying..

The above is the thinking of most of indian girls and boys in social forums whether in india or abroad.

Most brahmins have been compromised -whether caste, food habits,horoscope-who cares except some outdated parents ?

 

[renuka]

From a practical stand point, children born outside India and raised in a TB culture is rare. They have a tough time finding suitable alliances if they are looking for

a. Raised in TB household (cultural aspects)
b. Vegetarians
c. Not superstitious saddled with horoscope mandates
d. Broad minded
e. Responsible and trustworthy
f. Non drinkers
g. Born in the country of their birth

But this is for heterosexuals only...has anyone considered the plight of homosexuals.

What if homosexuals too want:

a. Raised in TB household (cultural aspects)
b. Vegetarians
c. Not superstitious saddled with horoscope mandates
d. Broad minded
e. Responsible and trustworthy
f. Non drinkers
g. Born in the country of their birth




Any ideas?

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

But this is for heterosexuals only...has anyone considered the plight of homosexuals.

What if homosexuals too want:

a. Raised in TB household (cultural aspects)
b. Vegetarians
c. Not superstitious saddled with horoscope mandates
d. Broad minded
e. Responsible and trustworthy
f. Non drinkers
g. Born in the country of their birth




Any ideas?

Here is Padma Iyers Idea!

I am getting old. I want my son to find a companion before I leave the world. A male companion," she said. In the past, Padma had expressed a desire to start a matrimonial forum for gay men along with some like-minded people, but that plan never took off.

https://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&r...8zlL4GR5y9n-75LPg&sig2=wCY_FtE7dSdVHGI46JsIjA

 

[GANESH65]

But this is for heterosexuals only...has anyone considered the plight of homosexuals.

What if homosexuals too want:

a. Raised in TB household (cultural aspects)
b. Vegetarians
c. Not superstitious saddled with horoscope mandates
d. Broad minded
e. Responsible and trustworthy
f. Non drinkers
g. Born in the country of their birth




Any ideas?

Are marriages prevalent among Homos? please confirm that first...LOL

 

[rishikesan]

Dear friends/ women of this forum/ please seriously think over the following , in the context of Night club massequre in Orlando. Is it possible as to whether Homo sexuality among Tamil Male brahmins could be prevalent? At best it could be dormant & never open , as I can think of ?please mention what is known to you/ your considered opinion, before I can offer my views for the knowledge of other members.
I request that , please continue the Topics with all seriousness , so that where we stand & realize the aspect clearly in the changed outlook & modern thinking of our upcoming youths & middle aged Men both in India & in U.S ?
Given an option, I will be the first to openly Desist the Topic ,but nevertheless, tempted to bring out the Real situation & habits of upcoming educated / intelligent guys ( not Gays ) ?
A.Srinivasan ( Rishikesan )

 

[prasad1]

Dear friends/ women of this forum/

Are women of the forum not your friends? I am just wondering. LOL

 

[CHANDRU1849]

In another forum, one member collected information on IC/IR marriages among Bs.

Similar statistics may be useful in the case of Gays and Lesbians in B community to know the trend.

 

[tks]

Dear friends/ women of this forum/ please seriously think over the following , in the context of Night club massequre in Orlando. Is it possible as to whether Homo sexuality among Tamil Male brahmins could be prevalent? At best it could be dormant & never open , as I can think of ?please mention what is known to you/ your considered opinion, before I can offer my views for the knowledge of other members.
I request that , please continue the Topics with all seriousness , so that where we stand & realize the aspect clearly in the changed outlook & modern thinking of our upcoming youths & middle aged Men both in India & in U.S ?
Given an option, I will be the first to openly Desist the Topic ,but nevertheless, tempted to bring out the Real situation & habits of upcoming educated / intelligent guys ( not Gays ) ?
A.Srinivasan ( Rishikesan )

Because homosexuality or bisexuality is seemingly determined at birth from whatever is known, this is prevalent in all beings including the animal world.

In most cultures and in almost all religions homosexuality is not accepted and hence people stay in the closet.

There was a program a while ago (BBC?) that examined the fate of women in feudal societies in India where the husband ill treats the wife to hide his gay interests. So India and TB has its same share of gays and lesbians - only they are closeted for most part.

In the Western world, the younger generation in particular is more accepting of people who are gay as legitimate human beings. Most people indoctrinated in religiosity regardless of the religion cannot accept such lifestyles as legitimate or even understand the younger generation.

In the Orlando massacre, it seems the killer happens to be gay himself by all accounts. His hatred to his own gayness has its roots in his religion. This killer not only went to that gay club many times, he also had installed Phone apps to visit gay sites and also did try to date other guys in his school. In Islam, gays are supposed to be sinners destined for hell and one Imam in Florida even opined that the most humane thing to do is mercy kill the gays. So there is convolution of religious ideas on this gay lifestyle.


I do know many gay and lesbian people in USA. Some are from TB household. They are human beings like all others and have human emotions like all others. TB Gays are no different and usually find partners on their own.

My original post was about vegetarianism in India and about how hard it is to find matrimonial matches (assisted by parents) for hetrosexuals.

If it makes sense, let us get back to this topic, please

 

[tks]

hi

when we compare TBs and GUJJUS IN USA.....GUJJUS ARE MORE VEGETARIAN THAN A TB s in USA....just example..i atteneded

gujju weddings regularly..they are very particular especially older generations....but many TB s attended.....many TBs

prefer white boys/gals in USA....SO THEIR FOOD IN WEDDINGS NON VEG ARE VERY COMMON...TB TO TB weddings

very rarest...

Sri tbs ,

Your views and experience is similar to mine.

I know many girls raised in TB household unable to find suitable mates.

Recently I was in an event where I met two women (sisters) that I have known since they were teenagers. They are daughters of one of my friends ( a typical TB family in USA - a bit more traditional in terms of following rituals etc). Both these girls have very successful career. One is a very specialized surgeon (about 32) and the others is a senior executive (almost 34) in a major firm. They are vegetarians, very nice, tall (over 5'9"), very attractive, marathon runners etc.

They want to have a raise family like the one they grew up in and in talking to them I got the list of attributes they were looking for.

While most people they are broad minded, only those living in USA or the west can begin to understand what generation X and Y (millennials) mean about the word 'broadminded'. The boys they met from India (visa holders) and their families via matrimonial sites did not meet their definition of broadmindedness . They found them to be shallow with unwarranted pride.

I shared the of list of attributes they were looking for in my opening post.

There are many such cases. My suggestion is for these girls to compromise on their list. I provided my suggestions as to what they can compromise on.

By the way many namesake TB household are carnivorous .. Usually the mother of a boy may be vegetarian at best.

World is becoming more meat eating types. The Indian express statistics says Indian people are predominantly meat eating !

Since vegetarianism is important to my friends, I suggested to look at Gujjus and Jains for possible matches.

 

[kunjuppu]

Are marriages prevalent among Homos? please confirm that first...LOL

'Homos' is a very pejorative term, as I understand it. 'Gay' is a more acceptable one.

 

[renuka]

Since vegetarianism is important to my friends, I suggested to look at Gujjus and Jains for possible matches.

But some of these Gujratis or Jains might not have the Tamil Brahmin DNA?

I personally feel its more important to marry within the same genetic make up..cos the substratum of the mind is similar.

Its not easy adjusting with a person who is from a total different community the only uniting factor being a vegetarian.

A cow is a herbivore ..a goat too is a herbivore...but can they consider themselves one?

 

[vgane]

All communities have their share of gays, lesbians and bisexuals! Most are secretive!

Look at this! The gay Harish Iyer finally got a groom!

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/mumbai/...d-it-all-just-ads-up/articleshow/47682094.cms

 

[renuka]

[h=1]HARISH IYER FINDS A SUITABLE BOY, AND IT ALL JUST ADS UP[/h]

By Nandini Kumar, Mumbai Mirror | Jun 16, 2015, 12.00 AM IST




http://www.mumbaimirror.com/mumbai/...ust-ads-up/articleshow/47682094.cms?prtpage=1

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Marriages are made in heaven but it was a matrimonial ad that did it for the equal rights activist.

Early May, 57-year-old Padma Vishwanath, Harish's mother, placed a matrimonial ad in a newspaper seeking a suitable groom for her son: The ad was seeking '25-40, well placed, animal-loving vegetarian groom for her son...caste no bar but Iyer preferred'.

By May 20, Harish received responses from two Iyers, two Muslims and a couple of others. On Sunday evening, he met a prospective groom -- one of the Iyer boys -- (the first to respond to the ad) whom he later took home. His father Vishwanath Iyer, Padma and his maternal grandmother were there to receive the potential 'groom'.

Dressed casually in blue jeans, a similar coloured T-shirt and a crew cut to boot, the prospective groom, who Iyer likes to refer to as "Mr Attainable", charmed Iyer's family including the 'paati' who was not kicked about her daughter's matrimonial ad asking for a boy for her grandson, but has now decided to go with the flow in the household.

Padma told Mumbai Mirror that her mother was "not at all for it (matrimonial ad)''. "Though she believes that Harish being gay is 'god's wish', she was not happy about me trying to find a groom for him. She told me, 'It's ok if a few people know but now the relatives will talk about it.' And following the ad there was a lot of backlash because I had mentioned 'preferably' an Iyer in the ad. She was unhappy with all the attention," said Padma.

However, on Sunday evening, a Tamil-speaking Iyer boy - an MSc graduate who works as a statistician in Mumbai - charmed Iyer's family with his comportment. Son of a temple priest in a village 50 km from Chennai, 'Mr. Attainable' had to face the traditional 'question-answer' session by Harish's family followed by grandma's query, which is par for the course in every TamBrahm wedding run-up: "Can you sing a Carnatic song?" And the 29-year-old obliged. He sang Gajavadana Beduve, a Carnatic devotional song. "My cats, mom, dad and granny instantly skipped a heartbeat in joy. My dad went a step further by asking him to stay back for the night," Harish tells us with a laugh. And no, 'Mr Attainable' didn't stay the night.

The meeting at Iyers lasted almost two hours with the family having hot saada dosas for dinner. And grandma duly noted: "See, because he is from the South, we could do with dosas for dinner. Else we would have had to make roti and sabzi for dinner."

However, what clinched the deal for grandma was that "the man came across as a reliable, soft spoken and humble, and like he would take care of Harish," said Padma.

Before meeting the parents, at Padma's suggestion, the duo met at the Kamakshi temple inside SIES College in Nerul. "I do visit temples and churches more when I have a prayer to say, seek solace or to share something with nobody. I never in my life imagined that I will be dating in a temple," Harish said. "After the merry-go-round around the temple, hushaa bushhaa we both sat down to eat chundal prasadam. I gave a part of my food to a pigeon that came too close for comfort. And 'he' said, 'they don't eat this, I have tried.' In my mind I was like...'oh my god, an animal lover'."

Harish dreams of living with 30 cats and 50 dogs in his house some day and he says he won't be able to do that if his partner does not like animals. Apart from that, Iyer prefers a vegetarian and "someone who does not bind me in the relationship".

After the temple, the two continued their conversation at Hotel Rangoli opposite SIES College. "We talked about life. I also warned him about the attention he would get and the criticism and judgements he would invite. But he was game."

"After the meeting, my mother advised me to take my time in making a decision. 'Get to know him better,' she said. Basically she was trying to tell me to figure out whether we would be sexually compatible too," said Iyer, laughing.

The prospective groom did not want to be quoted and said he will talk once the meeting leads to ''something concrete''.

BUT IS IT LEGAL?

Under Section 377, unnatural sex is illegal, but does not mention anything on same sex marriage. Same sex marriage has no legal sanction, but it will not invite any punishment either, according to Bengaluru based Alternate Law Forum.

 

[CHANDRU1849]

But some of these Gujratis or Jains might not have the Tamil Brahmin DNA?

I personally feel its more important to marry within the same genetic make up..cos the substratum of the mind is similar.

Its not easy adjusting with a person who is from a total different community the only uniting factor being a vegetarian.

A cow is a herbivore ..a goat too is a herbivore...but can they consider themselves one?

Nothing harm will happen, if a B marries a Gujarati or Jain. There is a possibility the children of B may be good in business, accommodative, community-centric etc. because of mixing of DNA

 

[krish44]

Even for Homos there is age bar

some here may not qualify.lol

 

[vgane]

Nothing harm will happen, if a B marries a Gujarati or Jain. There is a possibility the children of B may be good in business, accommodative, community-centric etc. because of mixing of DNA

This is how how our culture gets dissipated! After two generations there will be no TB left of such offspring...How many of them are going to bring up their progeny in TN? It would be a rarity!!

 

[tks]

But some of these Gujratis or Jains might not have the Tamil Brahmin DNA?

I personally feel its more important to marry within the same genetic make up..cos the substratum of the mind is similar.

Its not easy adjusting with a person who is from a total different community the only uniting factor being a vegetarian.

A cow is a herbivore ..a goat too is a herbivore...but can they consider themselves one?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs but not to their own facts.

There is no scientific basis and certainly nothing established for a 'Tamil Brahmin' DNA except in the imaginations of a few in this forum.

There is no support for such thinking in our 'knowledge scriptures' either.

Mind is considered subtle and body/DNA is considered gross. Gross never controls the subtle in nature.

Some love to put the cart in front of the horse and have fun!
Vegetarianism is but one non-negotiable criteria for some people but it is not the only criteria.

 

[tks]

This is how how our culture gets dissipated! After two generations there will be no TB left of such offspring...How many of them are going to bring up their progeny in TN? It would be a rarity!!

You had initiated a well meaning thread a while ago.

The culture will not survive unless the following are corrected .

1. Marrying age is late for most girls in almost all TB communities
2. Most people in the last generation opted to have one or two children with average being less than 2. In 50 years this leads to mathematical extinction if the trend is not corrected
3. Many that I have come across are clueless as to the value of the TB culture. Over time there is complete departure , starting with accepting of drinking alcohol and then to eating meat. It may be fine to not follow explicit dress codes but at basic level consuming Tamasic items freely is changing what it means to be a TB
4. Fascination with western culture, particularly those that are Tamasic in nature has taken hold in many middle to upper middle class families. The upanayanam functions tend to serve more for a party and Photo-op only. Most marriages these days that I have come across in India seem to have a quick upanayanam function for the boy
5. Tradition is getting consumed by superstitions in an alarming way. This is happening across India in my experience and TBs are not immune to this
6. If you were to take a statistics of last 5 years or so, I would say more than 50% of marriages are inter-caste. The younger generation is overtaken by their willingness to go to any extent to make money and lead a life of rich and famous as they perceive from media outlets. A relative of mine, who is a young girl recently started eating meat and consuming alcohol after going to a Business school in Hyderabad. She has found a rich fellow to marry holding a 'destination wedding' at Goa beaches !!


I do not want to rehash the past threads here.

My advice is for those that are in their 30s to be pragmatic and find someone to get married to that is acceptable if they are unable to find someone within the TB community

 

[Vaagmi]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs but not to their own facts.

There is no scientific basis and certainly nothing established for a 'Tamil Brahmin' DNA except in the imaginations of a few in this forum.

There is no support for such thinking in our 'knowledge scriptures' either.

Mind is considered subtle and body/DNA is considered gross. Gross never controls the subtle in nature.

Some love to put the cart in front of the horse and have fun!
Vegetarianism is but one non-negotiable criteria for some people but it is not the only criteria.

i would like to know the source of this authoritative assertion. Please quote.

On the contrary I have several times quoted in this forum the scientific papers from which I get the following perception:

1. Due to environmental impact the genes undergo substantial permanent changes.(I have deleberately avoided scientific terms here to make it sound simple) Brahmins living in a certain environment (food habits, culture, ahimsa etc., etc.,) are subjected to this silent change (mutation?) in their genetic make up. For that matter, every social community undergoes this influence on their genes in different ways depending on the environment in which they live for thousands of years.

2. These changes are involuntary and are like a given situation. They can not be escaped as long as the environment is there and the gene is there in that environment.

So a TB DNA is certainly a possibility in TN in India just as a Slav DNA is a possibility in the Urals of Russia and a Nordic DNA in Sweden. I do not know whether knowledge scriptures have this info or not. I may have to make an involved search.

Yes, subtle can control the gross. DNA is finite and gross and environment is subtle and it controls and transforms/mutates the genes transcending the physical barriers and limitations. Let us understand this.

I would like to hear a serious (not a sarcastic one) refutation of my this perception. If people need references I can give again for the Nth time.

 

[rishikesan]

All women of this forum , esp. Dr. Renuka are friends . Why should I , not like the Fair Sex ? As a Tamil Brahmin, I do adore any pregnant woman, routinely when I see them, instantly Pray in my mind that she should have safe delivery as she would be the Mother of some one & that family should prosper doing Good to society .
A.Srinivasan ( Rishikesan)

 

[vgane]

All women of this forum , esp. Dr. Renuka are friends . Why should I , not like the Fair Sex ? As a Tamil Brahmin, I do adore any pregnant woman, routinely when I see them, instantly Pray in my mind that she should have safe delivery as she would be the Mother of some one & that family should prosper doing Good to society .
A.Srinivasan ( Rishikesan)

Sir, That post to which you have responded was a fast one on you! Did you not notice LOL! You are a very senior person!