Mangali pondugal

[agopal]

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Hello,

Is it ok to perform Mangali pondugal for a poonol function on Ashtami/Navami day?

Thanks,
Gopal

 

[sangom]

This depends purely on family customs. Normally ashtami & navami are not considered fit for such rites. But if in your family, this prohibition is not there, you can go ahead. Pl. consult some elderly member of your family and decide.

 

[kunjuppu]

sangom,

in this case, can agopal start a new tradition.

i would imagine, traditions are patrilineal, but they should have had a beginning at some point in time.

nowadays, when we as a community are busy shedding ancient practises for various reasons, is there anything in our shastras that says that we cannot or should not open up new avenues?

if it is repeated for a couple of generations, that too becomes a family tradition. n'est pas?

i am trying to think of a situation, but nothing comes to my mind. all tradition breaking situations have been in existence in one form or the other.

 

[sangom]

sangom,

in this case, can agopal start a new tradition.

i would imagine, traditions are patrilineal, but they should have had a beginning at some point in time.

nowadays, when we as a community are busy shedding ancient practises for various reasons, is there anything in our shastras that says that we cannot or should not open up new avenues?

if it is repeated for a couple of generations, that too becomes a family tradition. n'est pas?

i am trying to think of a situation, but nothing comes to my mind. all tradition breaking situations have been in existence in one form or the other.

K,

MP being an exclusively females' affair and since the females among we Pattars being more pragmatic, bolder and shrewder enough to see through the uselessness of the shastras and acaaras, they do make and break rules to suit the convenience of the situation. For example, there can be a (new) dispensation to the effect that if the "பூவாடைப்பானை" for keeping the fresh puTavai is taken out on an auspicious day and time, nothing more needs to be looked into.

My wife tells me now (in response to my query) that in our family அஷ்டமி & நவமி are considered good for sumangali prarthanai.

 

[kunjuppu]

sangom,

the reason i asked re 'new traditions' is that i know women who live in the west do sumangali prarthanai.

their secular life includes meat and alcohol, but they have no qualms conducting SP. i have often heard that 'had their mother or grandma lived, they would have supported the SP irrespective of the habits of these canadian domiciled grand daughters'. i would imagine similar situtations in usa too.

ofcourse, in india, i think, some of us , have not moved on, and if our daughter marries a NB, you are banished from SP and shraddham causing much heartaches. we appear to insist on 'conditional love' and ready to break blood bonds, built over the years, in just a jiffy.

though, fondly enough, when i went to india a few months ago, my beloved uncle's thithi was being observed.
my aunt invited me, and i excused myself, explaining my lack of poonal and non observance of many things, dear to tambrams.

my aunt, the widow, chided me, and said those things do not matter, when it came to family and love.

i was a favourite nephew to my uncle and to her, and it would have pleased him to the hilt that i have come from so far away, and attended a function on his behalf. i was mandated to attend and eat the thevasa saappaadu.

i had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, at such broad mindedness, for my aunt is really a very conservative lady, but when it came to family love, these come above any scriptures or strictures.

 

[sangom]

sangom,

the reason i asked re 'new traditions' is that i know women who live in the west do sumangali prarthanai.

their secular life includes meat and alcohol, but they have no qualms conducting SP. i have often heard that 'had their mother or grandma lived, they would have supported the SP irrespective of the habits of these canadian domiciled grand daughters'. i would imagine similar situtations in usa too.

ofcourse, in india, i think, some of us , have not moved on, and if our daughter marries a NB, you are banished from SP and shraddham causing much heartaches. we appear to insist on 'conditional love' and ready to break blood bonds, built over the years, in just a jiffy.

though, fondly enough, when i went to india a few months ago, my beloved uncle's thithi was being observed.
my aunt invited me, and i excused myself, explaining my lack of poonal and non observance of many things, dear to tambrams.

my aunt, the widow, chided me, and said those things do not matter, when it came to family and love.

i was a favourite nephew to my uncle and to her, and it would have pleased him to the hilt that i have come from so far away, and attended a function on his behalf. i was mandated to attend and eat the thevasa saappaadu.

i had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, at such broad mindedness, for my aunt is really a very conservative lady, but when it came to family love, these come above any scriptures or strictures.

SP is IMHO a rite which was granted to the females as a token of their independent role in the brahmanic rituals, since the Sraaddham and tarpana rites sideline the female ancestors. As I said earlier, women are more ingenious in circumventing the saastra prohibitions and making fresh rules which will satisfy the orthodoxy. One thing I appreciate in SP is the absence of mantras and a purohit in it.

 

[kunjuppu]

sangom,

yes. the females appear to have a jolly good time in all the SPs that i have attended. add to it, if any male is around, they do get ribbed. no holds barred. there is nothing sacred or solemn in this function, that i know of.

 

[9868836164]

Generally Ashtami and Navami are not considered good , Navami is still better than Ashtami if not avoidable people say. The rest depends on our convenience and elOr if certainl elderly people's advice. Otherwise, if at all not possible before Upanayanam, then a certain amount , with a coin, may be covered in a piece of yellow or red cloth , pray to God for performance of Mangali Pondugal at the earliest opportunity and then proceed with the function and Sumangali Prarthanai should be conducted at the earliest next date and the amount kept in the cloth should also be taken for conducting the same with Utmost Shraddha .This is only the suggestion that I give with my little knowledge.

 

[9868836164]

Starting depends upon what kind of occasion. For eg., for navarathri, some people keep kalasam. If that is not there in the tradition, then, it should not be started. Whereas, it navarathri is not celebrated, then after analysing the reason, one can decide. Then for starting also, the eldest in the family is to be consulted.

 

[RAMAN MALLI]

Dear Gopal Having performed this rituals many times I wish to say a few things abt MP.
1 It shd not be done on ASHTAMI & NAVAMI DAYS & ALSO ON TUESDAYS, SATURDAYS AMAVASAI POURNAMI DAYS
Actually u may be aware that we invite dead sumangali ladies & feedthem & this is done before any major function like marriage ,poonal, etc.7 MAXIMUM ACHARAM IS FOLLOWED with restrictions on food items (avoid onion.kizhangus etc)
in my opnion if one believes in such rituals & wants to do that then do it in the proper manner so that no mental tension arises later.Pl get details from old ladies in ur famaly & do as per UR FAMILY CUSTOM
BLESS YOU
RAMAN MALLI