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just to relax

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A few weeks ago, two cartoonists entered a contest. Obviously, the result was a draw.

Why did the brilliant scientist disconnect his doorbell? He wanted to win the Nobel Prize

If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make? The first airplane

Did you hear about the guy who got a million dollars from a flea circus?
Yeah, he started completely from scratch.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher they fired last week? Yeah, she couldn't control her pupils

A biology student swallowed a frog this morning and was rushed to the hospital. His teacher expected him to croak any minute.

A lady, rushing out with her hair in curlers and dressed in an old, raggedy housecoat called, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No," the trashman answered, "hop right in.

Exercise and diet are the best ways to fight hazardous waists.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.

What's the difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls on the prairie, and one prowls on the hairy.

Why was the band director struck by lightning? He was a good conductor...

Why do chicken coups have 2 doors? Because if they had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
The good old question - is the glass half full or half empty?..
We all knew :
The optimist says the glass is half full.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty.


The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.

And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.

The ground-down mother "just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet".

The visiting consultant says let's examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of...

The home maker sees the dirty glass, washes and dries it, then puts it away in a custom oak and etched glass cabinet that he built himself using only hand tools.

The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.

The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full


Well friends take it from me - I think the right attitude is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it's about who is paying for the next round.
Good you have us in splits. You seem to have a good stock and more importantly recall them.

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