Indian Women - most stressed in the world :(

[kunjuppu]

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somewhat sadly i have to agree with this study.

Indian women most stressed in the world: Nielsen survey - Economic Times

each time i visit chennai, and particularly during the evenings, when i see those long lineups of women, tired after a day's work, and only to look forward to cooking, cleaning, feeding, bathing the kids, helping with their homework, and bedtime expectations of the spouse. - my heart breaks. the tired vaadi look in their faces - i would wish i could grant each a wish to make their lives easier!

times may have changed a bit from when i was young. but i still think, indian women bear a greater proportion of the housework.

just look at the restaurants. it is only men, unlike in the west, where it is not uncommon, to see couples or women going out together.

same goes for movies. men, after work, bonding, movies together, while the wife, picks up the children from school or creche, and doing the wifely chores. and maybe some of them still wait for the husbands, before eating. who knows!

whatever it may be. a sad state.

it will another generation or two, before close to 50/50 division of labour happens in indian household.

 

[amala]

While I am not disputing the article, I disagree that women in India bear/do a great deal of housework excluding cooking. Mostly all middle class women can afford and do have maids (or servants as they are called there).

I feel it is actually the Indian women abroad with careers or jobs, especially those women with unhelpful, conservative (don't enter kitchen, think housework is only for females), old fashioned husbands that suffer far more, because there is hardly any household help or its far too costly to have a maid.

That way I have always been envious of my relatives (even the relatively not well of ones) in India. They all had servants to varying degrees.

 

[kunjuppu]

amala,

are not servants women too? are not servants prone to the same stress as other women too? why do we not consider them as fellow humans with the same feelings, desires and stresses as our middle class sisters and daughters?

shakespeare, said it so well, the plight of the underdog, 500 years or so ago....

Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

 

[DrBarani]

Yes, it is an unfortunate situation. Women take the most burden in our society. They accept responsibility for everything. The Men are real [insert a naughty 8 letter word here] if you ask me. Historically women have been suppressed, not just in India, but most of the planet. By the way, you may want to check which countries gave suffrage to women even before the self-proclaimed crusader of liberty U.S.A. did.

 

[suraju06]

This is what I had posted in another thread about an year back:

[h=2]ஒரு பெண் மனதை புரிந்து கொள்ள .............[/h]

ரொம்பவே சுறுசுறுப்பான ஒரு வங்கியின் கிளைக்கு இரண்டு நாட்கள் விடுமுறைக்குப்பின் சென்றிருந்தேன். கவுன்டரின் உள்ளே அமர்ந்திருந்த அந்த பெண் ஊழியர் தொலை பேசியில் தன் மகளுடன் பேசிக்கொண்டிருந்தார். பக்கத்து வீட்டு ஆண்டியிடம் சொல்லிட்டு வந்திருக்கேன். அவங்க வீட்டுல போய் உக்காந்துக்கோ. ஹோம் வொர்க் பண்ணு. அவங்களை தொந்தரவு பண்ணாத. நான் இன்னிக்கு வரதுக்கு ஒரு மணி நேரம் லேட் ஆகும். சமத்தா இருடா கண்ணுன்னு சொல்லிட்டு ஸாரின்னு சொல்லிட்டு நிமிர்ந்து பார்த்தாள் அந்தப்பெண். எனக்கு முன்னால் நின்றிருந்த அந்த மனிதர் பொருமிக்கொண்டு இருந்தவர், கொட்டி தீர்த்து விட்டார் தன் எரிச்சலையும் கோபத்தையும். பாவம் அந்தப்பெண் அழாதகுறை தான். கண்டிருந்த என் மனதில் உண்டான தாக்கத்தின் விளைவு இந்தக் கவிதை.

கொழிந்த பீலி


என் வீட்டு ஜன்னலின் சுவற்றுக்கீரலில்
சின்னக் குழந்தையாய் ஒரு அரசங்கன்று,
எங்கள் தெருவோரத்து தபால் பெட்டியில்
பங்களா கட்டிடும் ஒரு சிட்டுக்குருவி,
வவுச்சர் என்றும் லெட்ஜர் என்றும்
நாளெல்லாம் அல்லாடி
கணினியைப்பார்த்து கண் சிமிட்டல் மறந்து
செயற்கையாய் சிரித்து இயற்கையாய் அழுது
அணிந்திட்ட முகமூடி இருக்கமாய் அழுத்திட
நெஞ்சுக்குள் உள்ளுக்குள் எரிமலை புகைந்திட
வெந்து தணியாத அக்கினிக் குஞ்சாக
தொட்டால் சிணுங்கியாய் பட்டாம்பூச்சியாய்
மனிதரிடை மானுடத்தை தேடும் என் தோழியும்
அரசங்கன்றும், சிட்டுக்குருவியும் ஓரினம்​

 

[kunjuppu]

Motherhood is fraught with complications, mysteries, stress and as men, folks of my gender, cannot ever understand or experience such.

Early 1960s again, we had neighbour, 5 boys + 1 girl + 1 cow (!). the lady always looked emanciated, forever screaming, clothes and hair scruffed and undone most of the time. The boys used to play with us and went to school with us, and were ordinary and jovial.

The father was gruff, and we used to hear him raising voices, and beating sounds, both at the kids (who screamed) and the wife (who cried). Till one day, when he disappeared for a few days, and came back as a disciple of meivazhi saamiyar, with a saffron turban and a small half moon imprinted on it.

After this he was seldom home, and this seems to affect the mother even more. The cow ended its milching season and was sold. Hours later the woman found out that it was to a butcher. She went mad. Had to be admitted to kilpauk, and the family left the neighbourhood.

Even in Canada, a sister of a colleague of mine, one day, left her husband and 4 children, 3 to 10, saying she has had enough, and it was a mistake to marry, have kids.

A few years ago, a sri lankan tamil lady, in Toronto, suffering from post partum depression, killed her infant and another child 3 years old. She failed in her attempt to commit suicide. The society here understands such predicaments. Even the sentencing judge’s statement was full of sympathy and sorrow for her – there was minimum low security jail sentence, but lot of counselling and psychiatric help.

paavums. all of the above women.

i can bet that every member has stories of women stressed beyond limit. i do not know of a single man who died of stress. as yet.

 

[amala]

Not in the spirit of the thread and possibly slightly pedantic of me. Apologies for that Kunjuppu mama. But I know of some men who committed suicide after losing their jobs in the recession. Not sure if it was stress.

Its a hard life being a man. Possibly harder being a woman. Biology/nature is not kind to women. There is a saying that always brings a smile to my face for its sheer gloomy morbidness. Life is f***ed up. Then you die . Not that I prescribe that line of thought to anyone! whoever who made that up obviously wasn't having a great life.

 

[kunjuppu]

Not in the spirit of the thread and possibly slightly pedantic of me. Apologies for that Kunjuppu mama. But I know of some men who committed suicide after losing their jobs in the recession. Not sure if it was stress.

Its a hard life being a man. Possibly harder being a woman. Biology/nature is not kind to women. There is a saying that always brings a smile to my face for its sheer gloomy morbidness. Life is f***ed up. Then you die . Not that I prescribe that line of thought to anyone! whoever who made that up obviously wasn't having a great life.

amala,

i agree that men too commit suicide, chronic depression, or severe setbacks. but they do not do so out of 'post partum' depression, which is, afaik, 100% chance of a mother acquiring. women bear an overwhelming amount of housework, no matter, even in the industrial west, though i see girls here in canada, desi girls, who have no clue how to cook water. i applaud that, because cooking, like washing or housekeeping, should be gender free tasks.

now about biology/nature not kind to women.

whom are you kidding? i bet all the men here are going to chase you down ever so many stages the female stands out.

at birth difficult to differentiate the genders. but starting from about 4, is not a girl prettier, and dazzling, in pattu pavadai, kolusu, jimikki and flowers in her hair. the little boy gets a short pant and t shirt.

skip to the teens and puberty. to me nothing defines the bloom of the flowering of woman. even the plainest little girl, assumes a charm when she wears the dhavani and from then on, it is just matter of keeping scores of the numbers of broken hearts of kattilang kaaLais

a bridal trousseau. in all religions and cultures. look at the men. what they wear. just a clean hair cut and suit or veshti. no diamond jewellery or flowers or silk saris. but take away all of these, and is there not an allure, in a simple sari, wet hair tied at the bottom with a simple cotton mundu and traces of manjal on the face?

and to mention the unmentionable... menstruation. recently, it was reported a survey was taken of usa women re their opinion of the monthly 'curse'. this was in light of the fact that the usa govt recently approved a drug for sale, which did away with the periods. over 70% said they will not use the drug - because their monthly process, defined them, as a woman.

ask any man about his mid life crisis, the closest i think, we come to menopause. nothing so dramatic right?

amala, i think, the world is increasingly getting better, thanks to more women in positions of power. i think there will never be a woman equivalent of a hitler, genghis khan, timur or osama. and i dont want to be proved wrong on this. ever.

so, i humbly wish to present this my dissenting case to you re your claim, Biology/nature is not kind to women

 

[amala]

Wow mama I have to agree with the pattu pavadai (lengha) jimikki, (jhumka) golusu (payal for some people here who dunno Tamil) and flowers etc. I can still remember all those. And dressing up to be mini mummy . Yes i can see your point. But I was thinking more of menstrual cramps (which I'm currently going through while I wrote my earlier post) when I said nature is unkind to us. I still maintain the same pattu pavadai, pattu podavais, naganattu, golusu not withstanding

 

[Brahin]

i can bet that every member has stories of women stressed beyond limit. i do not know of a single man who died of stress as yet Dear Kunjuppu women can handle stress much better than men its know fact thats why men r more prone to heart attacks .

 

[kunjuppu]

The Hindu : Columns / Kalpana Sharma : The Other Half - Slaving for their dowry


i thought this happened only in china.

sad it is happening, right here, in tamil nadu.

what should be the stress level of these girls?

 

[Servall]

I am not sure if "all" women, go through the same level of stress. I suppose the stress levels are different based on the women's age groups (granting it is all relative). The mothers 30 years ago probably endured more pain and bore the brunt of "all" pressures from the family unit (having to take care of extended family members, aging parents, in-laws, financial worries, kids' education, marriages, sickness and a list which may never end) whereas the same situation probably does not exist today. Now the family units are smaller, their time away from home (having to work) brings them different perspectives of life in general providing them the ability to think of pressures and solutioning them with more skills. The husband (majority of the ones) does understand the need to help them with chores in the house and tend to take part in solving issues in a collaborative way rather than let them deal with all the issues.

So I really think, although women in general have more pressures and issues to deal with, they are better equipped and prepared now than say, 50 years ago.........A classic example is me!! I cook almost every weekend and whenever required daily and help with chores on a daily basis whereas my dad didnt lift a finger one day in his life!!