Indian Logic!!!???

[Lalit]

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Why don't the newly-weds have their own homes, to solve the issue?

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Lalitha,

We are in the 21st century! Please look around and see the plight of the parents of the groom! :spy:

 

[Raji Ram]

Here is an interesting debate:

neeya-naana/ nuclear-family-vs-joint-family

 

[prasad1]

Lalitji,
When you cut and paste please give credit to your source.

 

[mskmoorthy]

An image search (of the photo given in the first post) gives this link (among others)

https://www.yahoo.com/news/significance-vidaai-ceremony-indian-wedding-070000548.html

 

[Lalit]

Lalitji,
When you cut and paste please give credit to your source.

Oops! sorry for the lapse! I got it as a forward via email and the source was not mentioned in it.

 

[Lalit]

An image search (of the photo given in the first post) gives this link (among others)

https://www.yahoo.com/news/significance-vidaai-ceremony-indian-wedding-070000548.html

Thanks Sir, for giving the source.

Lalitha

 

[Lalit]

Here is an interesting debate:

neeya-naana/ nuclear-family-vs-joint-family

Thanks for sharing the link to an interesting discussion on Neeya-Naana tv program; but as is wont in tv debates, only some of the issues were discussed, probably due to time constraint!

In most of these social problem situations there cannot be any easy "one-size-fits-all" fixes as each situation has its own personal connotation and the specs and dynamics of the relationships in the family cannot be totally controlled by court order or laws unless there is an internal change brought about by an active willingness to change. As has been aptly stated by Jim Morrison, "There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.”

 

[Lalit]

Dear Lalitha,

We are in the 21st century! Please look around and see the plight of the parents of the groom! :spy:

Dear Madam,
Thanks for your response.
Hope you have seen my suggestion at the top: "Why don't the newly-weds have their own homes, to solve the issue?"
While I am fully aware of the problems of the elderly parents who have been deserted by the sons and totally empathize with their suffering, I also know of the horrid travails and the sad, often times, helpless heart-rending plight of the daughters-in-law at the hands of MILs and sisters-in-law in the JHF for the past several decades even after our Independence and despite Constitutional guarantee of gender equality and several protective laws in favor of women.
You may be interested to read Prof. Ratna Kapur's comment on the SC decision: http://thewire.in/71830/hindu-divorce-case-retrograde-gender-politics-bench/

 

[renuka]

I dont get it...why do girls cry when they get married???...life comes with different phases...you eventually need a person to love you the way parents or siblings can never love you...eventually even that marital relationship has to be transcended when the grave/crematorium calls.

I never cried when I got married...I was glad I was moving into my own home with husband cos I would have more freedom...staying with parents or inlaws a female has not much freedom!LOL

Anyway I stay near parents and inlaws...so if they need my help I am always there.

 

[zebra16]

In most of these social problem situations there cannot be any easy "one-size-fits-all" fixes as each situation has its own personal connotation

Yes, it is very true that there cannot be an easy "one-size-fits-all" solution as you rightly pointed out.

If one applies mind to the serials, episodes programmes aired on TVs and Op-eds in news papers etc, one can also very easily discern the AGENDA of the media house (whether TV or print) to project only what they would like to be projected.

Why do the members fall repeatedly to this gimmick and start to give amplitude to the views aired by the channels without critical thinking, even without providing their viewpoint?

 

[prasad1]

Lalithaji, you said:

Why don't the newly-weds have their own homes, to solve the issue?

The first and foremost is the TRADITION, secondly the ECONOMICS.
It is tradition (at least in India) for the girl to leave the house after marriage and go stay with the Inlaws. It was the norm in Joint family system. In an agricultural society it was better to have a joint family system, to keep the farm together to get the economics of the size.
It is expensive to set up a new household when you are starting your life. By the time you graduate and professionally qualified you are probably 25. Then to save enough to have your own place it will be ten more years. So earliest you can marry you will be 35 years old. Then to raise a family will be tough.

TV shows and Movies are not the pioneers in social activism. They generally portray, what is happening in the society. They also get us thinking about the consequences.
The views expressed by people in TV shows, gives us a glimpse of what others (may be different geographical area) are doing. Because these very problems may impact us in the future.

 

[auh]

I think the olden (not sure how long) practice was meant for the new couple to start a new home. I am just deducing this from the nature of seedhanam (apart from the dynamics of gold !) given in the process. In our family, the custom was complete kitchen utensils, bed set, and other puja related vessels.