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Indian Hell

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A Man dies and goes to hell.
There he finds that there is a different hell for each country !

He goes to the German hell and asks, " what do they do here ?"

He was told," First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all and so he moves on and checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more countries....... He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell..

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, " What do they do here ?"

He was told, " First they put you in the electric chair for an hour.. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells---- so why are so many people waiting to get in here ?" asked the man.

" Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in and signs the register and goes to the canteen !
A man from America wants to make a call to his relative died some years ago..He was sure that he will be in The Hell.

He was on his way to Pakistan.He inquired a STD booth in US and asked what is the Tariff for making a Call to Hell.

The STD Booth operator in US said that it would be 100 USD per minute.The American felt that it is very costly and decided to make a Call on the En route.

He got down at London airport and went to a STD booth in London and asked the Very Same Question.( What is the Tariff for making a call to Hell?).He replied that it would be 50 USD per minute.Again he felt that it is so costly as he wants to speak a lot.

He reached Delhi and asked the same Question in an STD Booth in Delhi.The STD Booth operator said that it would be 10 USD per minute.

As he finds that the time is not sufficient to Speak to his relative,because the Connecting Flight to Lahore is about to Take Off.Finally He decided to make call in an STD Booth in Lahore.

At last he landed safely in Lahore and rushed to the STD Booth in Lahore and asked the Very same Question (What is the Pulse rate for making a call to the Hell ? .

The STD Booth operator in Lahore said ," Local Calls are Charged at 1 USD per 3 minutes.
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wisdom from school test papers!

The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of USA. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"*
1. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
2. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
3. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
4. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
5. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
6. "To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow."
7. "The parts of speech are lungs and air."
8. "The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."
*_9. "A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population." _*
10. "Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris."
11. "The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom."
12. "The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom."
13. "Iron was discovered because someone smelt it."
14. "Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners."
15. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
16. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.
17. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
18. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.
19. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
20. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
21. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German , half Italian and half English. He was very
22. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
23. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
24. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
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