• Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Girls Qualification Higher than Boys

Status
Not open for further replies.

talwan

Well-known member
The current status in Education is Girls are qualified higher than boys.In exam results we find pass percentage of Girls are higher than of Boys.How this happens?Is it the family brought up?or Responsibility is realised more by girls than boys?or any other reason.Members can express their views.
Alwan
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
The girls are book worms! In modern society every one will help girls. If a book in the library is reserved for a boy and if a girl need it the boy give it up to her. In helping financially, the people ready to rush to offer money.
Boy works in part time to get his education.

In my locality boys supply news paper in the early morning and then go to school.
The boy's responsibility starts at the age of 10.
 

sangom

Well-known member
The current status in Education is Girls are qualified higher than boys.In exam results we find pass percentage of Girls are higher than of Boys.How this happens?Is it the family brought up?or Responsibility is realised more by girls than boys?or any other reason.Members can express their views.
Alwan

Shri Talwan,

In Kerala I have been observing that girls are toppers in the +2, SSLC etc., whereas boys top the lists in entrance tests, generally. I therefore feel that girls do better in the traditional type of exams. - studying the syllabus, reproducing the answers to questions exactly in the words given by the teachers (I am told by school teachers that unless the answers are given in the specified words, marks are generally cut ;)). In common entrance exams there is more room for originality and thinking out of the box and boys seem to have an edge over the girls in these areas.

I would like if members give the position in other parts of the country.

So, by the time girls are ready for marriage, they generally complete M.A./M.Sc. and Ph. D. also whereas boys complete B.Tech. and go for a job.
 

amala

Well-known member
Shri Sangom,

I tend to agree with you from what I've observed from my school/college/uni days and from what I've read everytime the results come out for the national exams.

I observe that more girls do well compared to boys in exams but the boys get the much higher marks then the girls. So the toppers are generally boys compared to girls.

Another observation: Boys do much better at maths and physics than girls. But girls do better at biology.
 

Iyyarooraan

Well-known member
All over India Girls do well. They think perhaps through education they can attain money power. Boys may be less enthusiastic here. In the Centre and the States, there is a bias towards the weaker sex like towards downtrodden and I am afraid things tend to help them. Education is less costly for girls and they can or would want to compete with boys after studies or with men after marriage. They are studious and hardworking not distracted by anything. Education does not distract boys. Good number of boys are perhaps struck by girls' achievements. And it is time they found their spirits.
 

C RAVI

Well-known member
All over India Girls do well. They think perhaps through education they can attain money power. Boys may be less enthusiastic here. In the Centre and the States, there is a bias towards the weaker sex like towards downtrodden and I am afraid things tend to help them. Education is less costly for girls and they can or would want to compete with boys after studies or with men after marriage. They are studious and hardworking not distracted by anything. Education does not distract boys. Good number of boys are perhaps struck by girls' achievements. And it is time they found their spirits.

Sri Iyyarooran,

You said it right!!!!!!!

Good education and career are the only factors that can give financial security. Offers them the strength to be independent and secured.

Gives them everything to be in par with guys and be courageous to face any ordeals of career and marriage life...

 

renuka

Well-known member
All over India Girls do well. They think perhaps through education they can attain money power. Boys may be less enthusiastic here. In the Centre and the States, there is a bias towards the weaker sex like towards downtrodden and I am afraid things tend to help them. Education is less costly for girls and they can or would want to compete with boys after studies or with men after marriage. They are studious and hardworking not distracted by anything. Education does not distract boys. Good number of boys are perhaps struck by girls' achievements. And it is time they found their spirits.


Even in Malaysia girls top universities and do better than boys.Its true girls dont get so easily distracted.
when were in college in India just say if there was an outing where we need to go for movies,get togather etc we girls will study first before we go out.

So the more active we were ..the more we studied to make sure we never slacked and also we need to maintain our marks we scored in class.
And some of us also loved to dress well to class so we didnt want to be labelled as some dumb bimbo who can only dress up and failed exams..so we prefered to dress and look up to date and also scored well in exams.

Guys are basically less complex so either they are book worms or "spiritually high"(High on spirits as Kunjuppu put it)
 

Haridasa Siva

New member
In the Centre and the States, there is a bias towards the weaker sex like towards downtrodden and I am afraid things tend to help them.


Why should you be "afraid" that things tend to help women?

Boys must be steady before they go for study. Only then they can be sturdy:horn:
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
Most of the girls think differently.

Few girls in the age group 21 to 24., when asked this question from my area the replies were

1) If I marry I need protection from my husband. If I earn some money I can get respect from my in law's house.

2) If after marriage for some reason I get a force to desert my life like widow or divorce I need support so I want to earn and protect.

3) If we the husband and me after marriage wish to construct a house my earnings will support the house!

No one said that "My earnings will be the prime! and I will spend from my earnings and save my husband's salary in bank!"
 

C RAVI

Well-known member
Most of the girls think differently.

Few girls in the age group 21 to 24., when asked this question from my area the replies were

1) If I marry I need protection from my husband. If I earn some money I can get respect from my in law's house.

2) If after marriage for some reason I get a force to desert my life like widow or divorce I need support so I want to earn and protect.

3) If we the husband and me after marriage wish to construct a house my earnings will support the house!

No one said that "My earnings will be the prime! and I will spend from my earnings and save my husband's salary in bank!"


Perfectly pin pointed Shri Ramachandran,

Becuase the basic expectation is the prime and would never change, IMO...Though girls say, in marriage there should be fair deal and there should not be any biased attitude/opinion/decissions between husband and wife, the point that you have highlighted remains intact.

But in debate, where we time pass, people will say that, this is how and what, the fair deal is all about and some guys are pickign up on things negatively.


 
Last edited:

Iyyarooraan

Well-known member
Sir, nobody prevents the boys. "Afraid" word was used to show the sentence was pregnant with undesirable or unwelcome ideas.
 
OP
OP
T

talwan

Well-known member
Well Shri Ramachandran,
The reasons given by girls are true.I think I got the answer from your posting for the question i raised while starting this thread,
Thanks,
alwan
 
R

Ramacchandran

Guest
Last night a girl whom I was talking said, "Uncle We need protection and please add one more point. If for any reason my husband dies, (I am not telling he will die or else. If he met with some unwanted.... happens, the concern where he work should give me a suitable job so that I can support his family/ him. For that I need a qualification. But regarding salary that my parents quoted are his expectations. I know very well how the boys work in Call centers. My neighbor's son works in a call center and he never witnessed a sun rise or sun set. All the time he is in his office or in sleep. It is my father who demands huge salary."
 

Iyyarooraan

Well-known member
Everything in life is uncertain. Of course it is necessary for girls to get good education and even go for work. In the course of life, either of the partner may go off. It is also possible both of them will live longer but lose jobs together in these days.We are not the only intelligent people on earth and should learn to respect our limitations and conduct ourselves in such a way that we may not curse ourselves for some follies. God helps the helpless.
 

rishikesan

New member
Dear friends, This subject has elicited correct assessments. I feel that by and large, both boys & girls do well in studies, because all have access to computer & it is not that difficult to score high marks, compared to a few decades back.
Both are well informed. They know what is right. But, the real difficulty is the co-operation of the girls after marriage, towards the In-laws have to be better, since it is said in Tamil :- aavadum Pennale; azhivadum pennale"

A.srinvasan
(srivatsan)
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
Srinivasan,

I think, our community has not fully yet evolved into the concept of absolute equality for men and women, and this is hitting the boys harder than the girls.

Let me explain.

About 50 years ago, from 1950s onwards, we, as a community, I don’t know why, and it doesn’t matter now, opted for small families as a result of which, a good number ended up with girls only households. Unlike the previous generations where girls were, from the time of birth, were ‘prepared’ for marriage, by gradual accumulation of gold and paraphernalia, and education only upto what is ‘sought after’ at the ‘market marriage’ of the time, we treated the girls equivalent to our sons, in terms of education and post education employment.

Within a generation, we broke millenniums based funda rule ie the place of woman in the tambram society. We gave birth to a generation, where our girls excelled in education and in many cases, were able to compete with and beat the boys in their hitherto preserve in the job market. Thus unleashing a confidence, a power, self confidence, pride and above all, financial independence.

Unfortunately, neither the girls or the boys mindset has moved this fast, though it is also moving, I think, in the right direction. I find it unsettling, that a tambram girl, still expects a husband, to earn more than her, more educated than her etc. all those values should have gone out of the window, the minute she started working at the same level of the guys. if we take the employment status of the boy as a filter, and if the boys had no hangups about which of the spouses earned more, that would be a first step towards, acceptance of equality of the sexes.

Next comes the attitude of boy’s parents. Today’s daughters in law, are not there to take care of the boys’ parents. Many of them are products of girls’ only families, and it is only fair, and also reality, that these would like to support their own parents, or subsidize their standard of living. This means a fundamental mind set change on boys’ side, as it appears the girls’ side are already in the groove here. I have seen abusive statements about girls and parents from boys’ parents, and it has always been those, who feel that their entitlements have been deprived. Except that the world has changed, and just like in other areas, the world is flatter than ever and those who do not acknowledge it, are bound to fume and self destruct.

to sum up, it is neither avaathum or azhivathum pennaley. that may be old speak. today, aavathu or azhivathu, depends on both of the spouses. and maybe add the parents too :)
 

rishikesan

New member
Dear Mr Kunjuppu, I am happy that you have suitably commented on the points written by me in an objective manner. I feel that any discussion or expressing opinions, should be objective & never subjective. The trend of girls wanting higher salary than her own is paradoxical because, when both boys & girls are of same age group, she could easily be higher in status or drawing higher salary. It is only to be expected & understood by all in our Community. This position should not be an impediment, but should be welcome, in finalising Marriage alliances of prospective, forward looking Boys/ girls/ Parents & all

More so when these couple get settled in U.S. ?

A.Srinivasan ( Rishikesan )
 
TamBram girls are very intelligent and confident and can manage things as good as the guys.They always were intelligent and the IT boom was a welcome thing for the girls as they can work in more comfortable environments.
 
OP
OP
T

talwan

Well-known member
Hello S.Natarajan,
You are right.A b.Girl Daughter of my Collague went alone to YS after her study in Chennai.She had defenite plans on her future.After working for for couple of years she gave clear indications to her parents that what type of boy is required for her marriage right from height to age diff,,,,et.Then the marriage was fixed by her parents.The goodthing in this that she went by the arranged marriage but on her terms.
Defenitely a confidant girl.
Alwan
 
I saw this friend of mine who told me that he is going to marry a tam bram girl.He is Jatt-Sikh and Brahmin mixed Punjabi.

I thought the girl would be a hifi girl who doesn't care about traditions and chill out ypes.In the end she turned out to be a proper conservative girl,like how my parents would have raised my sister to be.I was quite impressed by her confidence.

Generally my blood boils when i see tam bram girls with other guys,sometimes even iyengars but in this case,he is a dear friend and a brotehr worthy of marrying her,so it cooled me down.
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
talwan,

i think, this is what re 'tambram girls know exactly what they want' is the reason why there are so many tambram boys without spouses, and no hope of getting married within the community.

let me clarify where i stand. i support the girls and it is now, only after milleniums of suppression & compromise, that they have had a chance as a gender, to fulfil themselves. and indeed they are fulfilliing themselves with a vengeance.

but wreaking havoc on what was formerly a community norm. i have lost count of arragned marriages, in my family, where the only criteria for a marriage arrangement, was assent from the guy's side. many a time, even while ponn paarkkal, there was the sly query to the boy, 'ennadaa ponn piduchudha?'

no one asked the girl that. and even if she demurred, there was tons of pressure put on her, right from query as to 'secret boyfriend' which was a crime, to responsibility to the family and younger siblings, to 'everything will cometogether happy after marriage' etc. etc.

nowadays, the girls are putting their foot down. where talwan, admires this girl in the usa, i am not so sure, about his views on so many girls here in india, who want boys, of the same caste sub caste height weight age +2 and not more or less, must be working in the same city or ch/hyd/blore, earning 80k to 1lakh per month, must live apart from inlaws, will continue to support her parents yadda yadda yadda..

the boys and their parents, are still in the mid 20th century mode, when for one boy, there will be 20 girls chasing after them, they could leisurly gobble bajji sojji from 25 households before expressing their desires, 'no dowry, marriage according to our gauravam (whatever that means except to open a big avenue for greed or complaint), vaira necklace mookkuththi , modhiram for the boy, 40 pavan gold, atleast 2 sets, garnet, karugumani..and so on the never ending list. might as well accept 30,000 rupee dowry and skimp on everything else.

so, for many traditional minded people, this 'girl who knows what she wants' is a double edged sword. great if it works for your daughter, otherwise it sucks.

:)
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
I saw this friend of mine who told me that he is going to marry a tam bram girl.He is Jatt-Sikh and Brahmin mixed Punjabi.

I thought the girl would be a hifi girl who doesn't care about traditions and chill out ypes.In the end she turned out to be a proper conservative girl,like how my parents would have raised my sister to be.I was quite impressed by her confidence.

Generally my blood boils when i see tam bram girls with other guys,sometimes even iyengars but in this case,he is a dear friend and a brotehr worthy of marrying her,so it cooled me down.

why should your blood boil? do you own these girls? are they mortgaged to you?

these are independent women, and let me tell you something.. if you have this attitude, no tambram girl is even going to look at you. the last thing girls want, is someone who is so possessing, not only of his own spouse, but of community norms, especially when they are so narrow and bigoted.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top
Thank you for visiting TamilBrahmins.com

You seem to have an Ad Blocker on.

We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy.

Alternatively, consider upgrading your account to enjoy an ad-free experience along with numerous other benefits. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page

You can also donate financially if you can. Please Click Here on how you can do that.

I've Disabled AdBlock    No Thanks