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Girl elder to boy - wedding

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Hi,

two brahmin friends of mine have been in love now for three years and to me they are a perfect pair sharing their sorrows and happiness...but unfortunately the girl is elder to the boy by 3 months and the boy's father is unwilling to consent for their wedding due to this...the boy and girl are now struggling mentally to try and forget each other...can someone let me know if there is a way around it so that i can try and convince the boy's dad?...
 
R

Ramaa

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the girl is elder to the boy by 3 months and the boy's father is unwilling to consent for their wedding due to this...the boy and girl are now struggling mentally to try and forget each other...can someone let me know if there is a way around it so that i can try and convince the boy's dad?...
Such parents who impose themselves on their children on trivial matters do the greatest harm to the children and the community at large. I would suggest that the boy and girl should get married and invite the parents to attend the wedding and bless them. Let's see what happens!
 
As they love and understand each other , i think, they are capable to marry irrespective of the age variation of the bride. Our ancestors have imposed to marry an young gal because the woman can manage a man at the age of 50's when she is at least 4 to 5 years younger than him. But this is not a point at this modern age as the things are changing medically and attitudinal in all aspects of youngsters.
 
Basing on the books I have read and what I have observed in the real world,
I am of the view that metabolism in a girl starts earlier and ends earlier, whereas in males it occurs a little later. To explain further, a girl attains puberty at the age of
12 to 18 years, but a boy is biologically ready to start family life at the age of 16 to 20 years. During this period, one can notice 'growth spurt' in both of them. It is evidenced by many outwardly physiological changes that can be noticed by others.

Psychologically, it takes a few more years for both of them to be fully prepared to start a healthy, married life. Therefore, I am of the view that the best age for getting married is between 18 and 24 years for a girl, whereas for a boy it is between
21 and 28 years.

Moreover, for conceiving and giving birth to a child, for a woman, the ideal age is
between 21 and 35 years. (No such prescription for men).

Similarly, after leading a married life for long, a woman reaches the stage of menopause between 40 and 55 years, in contrast to a man who is capable of
producing offsprings up to 70 years of his age. This may sometimes go up to 80 years.

These must have been the real reasons for our ancestors stipulating that there must
be a gap of 3 to 5 years between a boy and a girl (Girl must be younger to boy),
to lead a successful married life.

If we consider other aspects also, if a girl is too young (say younger by more than
12 years, as compared to the boy), she will resist sexual life until she reaches the age of 18 years and understands what is what, after gaining necessary mental maturity.
In addition, after she reaches 21 years of age or in the later part of the life (say 45 years), she will begin to dominate her male companion openly - inside the 4 walls and outside in the presence of others too, in all matters. She wants to be the decision-maker for practically everything.

On the contrary, if the girl and boy are almost of equal age (the difference being
negligible), there will be constant ego clash between them and it is not good for
a happy married life. It will affect their children too.

Regarding the third possibility - assume that the boy is younger than the girl by
more than 1 year - the girl may start dominating him from the beginning. Moreover,
sexually also, the boy will find it difficult to satisfy her. (Please forgive me for writing
so elaborately)

All this is in Indian conditions. It may slightly vary, depending on the cultural and
climatic background.

Finally, coming to our friend's question, my answer is take a responsible decision after
discussing all the pros and cons. Also, do not disregard the elders' opinions just like that.

If the boy and girl still feel that their love is so pure and beyond all that I have written above, let them go ahead and marry.

Only one word of caution. Love is blind; be careful!
 
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