“Ouuuch,,,” – shouted Manjula. The pain she suffered was so evident in the sound she made. Anyway, she is an extremely expressive person.
I turned and looked at her. I was in the morning duty near the ironing table with uniform clothes of my children strewn around. “What happened..?” – I asked a bit agitated.
“Hit my elbow against the wall” – said Manjula, still reeling under that shock and pain. She was entering the Kitchen and her elbow had inadvertently hit the wall. Our kitchen entrance opens into the hall and is without doors.
I felt sorry for her. But then I have this uncontrollable foot-in-mouth disease that lands me into tough situations with my dear wife.
“Hmm.. I think our house has shrunk..” – I said jokingly.. “May be in Yesterday’s rain”.
She angrily stared at me. “I know I have become bit obese. That’s what you are ridiculing”
“No.. No..” – I tried to wriggle out of that spontaneous comment.
“Why don’t you ask your mom to get another lean girl for you. She would be ready to do that even now” – She said sarcastically. “Go get somebody lean..”.
She started lamenting on how she eats less and less, but keeps putting more weight and that she needs some energy atleast to serve the house and that family is the reason why she is not able to look after herself etc etc..
This is usual amongst us. She is like the honey-bee, hard-working, giving music and honey as long as one doesn’t poke at her hive. She is the ‘Brahma’ around whom our life revolves, the one who supplies our energies.
“Aiyayo.. that was just fun Manju” – I said “ You still look the same as you were during our marriage, some 17 years before”. I paused to cool her down. “I don't see much difference in you..”
Then again it flowed out of me inadvertently.. “I think it is because of our Front-loading washing machine. It shrinks your clothes. That is all. Those days we were hand-washing..”.
This time I could not stop her. In spite of the fact that she is not obese and I was just fooling around, I could not convince her. Manjula vowed to reduce her weight and show the world that she is still the same one as she was 17 years before.
“Is it really so..?” – asked Manjula on phone. She was talking to her sister. “ Is that herbal medicine from U.S. so powerful..? Unbelievable.. In just 3 months I can loose 10 kgs..?”
“If you loose 10Kgs in 3 months, then it means you have Cancer” – I said jokingly. “Does that medicine cause cancer..?” I was commenting without lifting my eyes from my laptop.
“No.. No he is always like that. He is a skeptic” – said Manjula over the phone. Her sister should have heard my comment. “Can you tell me where I can get it..? How much it costs..?”
After she got the details, she slammed the phone down. “None of your stupid jokes on my Sister. She is sensitive you know” – Manjula said.
“No Manjula” – I said comforting her “See India is famous for all sorts of herbal medicines. Now you were talking about a herbal medicine from US. I am not sure what it is and what does it do. We should not take such medicines without prescription.”
“My suggestion is do a health checkup, if you have doubts on your health” – I continued.
“No..No..” – Manjula denied vehemently “My Sister says her friend used it and got good results. So it should be fine. Don’t be jealous that I would become slim and sleek again”.
As we assembled at the dinner table next day, Manjula said “You know that medicine my sister had talked about, it seems it causes some problem in gall bladder. Today my friend Shanti says one of her friends took such a medicine and was severely affected”
“Oh.. see, that’s what I also told you, right..?” – I said.
“No .. No.. You did not say that it would cause side-effects. You were just blurting out something, as you are a skeptic. Shanti only gave me correct information about it”.- she said.
“Oh..” – I exclaimed “Hmm.. Could be true.. But you see my relatives or friends do not have this Obesity problem and so I don’t get to know the side-effects..”
With that stupid comment, I had started her again.
“So, are you saying my relatives are all Obese..? My friends too are Obese..?”.- she asked angrily..
“Sorry Manju” – I said “I am telling you again. You are not obese at all. You are perfect. May be pear-shaped you know, more rounded at the bottom..”. As I realized I am offending her more, I bit my tongue.
“But.. but.. somewhere I read being pear-shaped is good for health” – I tried to comfort her only to ignite her more. My Poor wifey.. I could not convince her that she is really not obese at all, though that’s what I honestly thought.
I forgot about it after that. Few days later I could hear Manjula and another neighbor talking from their balconies.
“Where do you buy greens here..?” – asked the neighbor.
“No.. No.. You have to be careful about the greens” – said Manjula “I read an internet email forward. It says that leaves of greens have small invisible insect eggs, which if we eat causes lot of problems. Hence it is not good to take greens unless you are sure..”
“You know even fruits have lot of chemicals these days. In fact I was planning to eat only greens and fruits to reduce weight. But I researched on internet and found that greens and fruits are not good for health in Cities” – she said.
“Did you try the Walker..?” – said my neighbor “Walker is good for reducing fat. My sister lost 15 kgs using the walker. My brother’s agency sells such walkers. I can ask him to call you up. It just costs few tens of thousands of rupees”
“Sure Sure “ – said Manjula. “I am ready. Please give his mobile number..”.
“Let’s talk to this neighbor’s brother on Saturday. We can order the Walker from him. Only we need to find space to place it. Can we place it in the Bedroom..?” – she asked.
“But is our bedroom not so small... ? Can we keep it there..?” – I asked..
“We need to keep it somewhere. May be in the Hall“- she said.
“Dear Darling” – I said “You are not obese at all. You look appropriate and cute. Not sure why you are having such a complex. May be it is our mirror that shows you plumpy..?”
I wondered in my usual foot-in-the-mouth style.
“So you are ridiculing me again. I promise that I would loose weight somehow.” – she said “I will plan for the space and buy that walker or do something else. I promise”.
“See rats started having a field day again” –said Manjula “They started going around even in the day. I think you don't know how to use the mouse-trap. Otherwise how come your mouse-trap alone does not catch any mouse..?”.
Manjula was standing at the entrance of Kitchen in the Hall and talking to me. I was standing next to her.
“Hmm. I used the mouse-trap. But you know what happened..? I kept the vada you made yesterday in that
trap. Today morning I found that the mouse has dragged a piece of onion and kept it near the Vada. May be it says it needs an onion vada..?”.
“Joking..?”- Manjula said “If you think my vada is of poor taste that a mouse can’t eat, why don’t you make a good vada…? Mouse did not touch my vada. Even ants won’t touch the vada you make”
“So it is the curse of the Ele-fff-Ant” – I said. ‘Ele’ in tamil means mouse. I tried to pun around the words ‘ele’, ‘ant’, and elephant just for fun.
“Oh.. I look an elephant to you now..?” – said Manjula angrily.
“No No. Manjula, dear, believe me. For some reason you have lost a lot of weight in the last few days. You look much slimmer now. I was just trying to pun around and ridicule. But seriously wanted to ask you, what have you been doing to loose weight..?”- I asked
“And we did not buy that walker also. So I am really surprised how you lost weight..?- I continued..
“Really..?” –asked Manjula “I don’t know. .”. She thought about it for sometime.
"I had been circumambulating our Sarva Priya Mahaganapti in Murthy Street, West Mambalam, 108 times everyday for last one week. When you were sick, I had made that prayer that I would circumambulate 108times everyday for one mandala (48 days). I had not fulfilled it for long time. Last week, when you complained of Chest pain, I remembered that I had not completed it. So I started it. I couldn’t think of anything else..” – she said.
“Oh.. I don’t know, but you really look very fit now.” – I said
“Don’t bluff..” –said Manjula “You hype up everything or you are skeptical. Be truthful and tell me if I am really looking lean”.
“Amma.. mouse mouse ..” – shouted my sun suddenly. As we were talking a mouse was running across the hall into our kitchen. As Manjula saw the mouse entering the kitchen between her feet, she jumped.
I tried to hold her from falling off, by seizing her hip. She jumped both feet and landed again, as I held her by her hips, while the mouse entered the kitchen between her raised feet and vanished.
“See you have become lean” – I said. “As this mouse ran between your feet, I could lift you up easily holding your hips. Would it have been possible if you had been obese..?”
Manjulas big eyes widened much further. “You lifted me..? Have I become that lean..? Really..?” She asked with glee .
“Yes.. Yes..” – I said “If you want I can lift you up again and show”
“No.. No..don’t talk like this in front of kids” – Manjula blushed.
“Thanks Ganapati and your mouse. Sometimes silly lies for the sake of loved ones doesn’t matter” - This time only my mind voice spoke, as I stitched my lips with my fingers.
“What else can be a better solution, for being healthy, than circumambulating Ganapati 108 times everyday.. Both mind and heart get exercised. Is it not?”
“You said something” – Manjula asked.
“No..Not at all” – I said “Just admiring your look and feel”.
-TBT
I turned and looked at her. I was in the morning duty near the ironing table with uniform clothes of my children strewn around. “What happened..?” – I asked a bit agitated.
“Hit my elbow against the wall” – said Manjula, still reeling under that shock and pain. She was entering the Kitchen and her elbow had inadvertently hit the wall. Our kitchen entrance opens into the hall and is without doors.
I felt sorry for her. But then I have this uncontrollable foot-in-mouth disease that lands me into tough situations with my dear wife.
“Hmm.. I think our house has shrunk..” – I said jokingly.. “May be in Yesterday’s rain”.
She angrily stared at me. “I know I have become bit obese. That’s what you are ridiculing”
“No.. No..” – I tried to wriggle out of that spontaneous comment.
“Why don’t you ask your mom to get another lean girl for you. She would be ready to do that even now” – She said sarcastically. “Go get somebody lean..”.
She started lamenting on how she eats less and less, but keeps putting more weight and that she needs some energy atleast to serve the house and that family is the reason why she is not able to look after herself etc etc..
This is usual amongst us. She is like the honey-bee, hard-working, giving music and honey as long as one doesn’t poke at her hive. She is the ‘Brahma’ around whom our life revolves, the one who supplies our energies.
“Aiyayo.. that was just fun Manju” – I said “ You still look the same as you were during our marriage, some 17 years before”. I paused to cool her down. “I don't see much difference in you..”
Then again it flowed out of me inadvertently.. “I think it is because of our Front-loading washing machine. It shrinks your clothes. That is all. Those days we were hand-washing..”.
This time I could not stop her. In spite of the fact that she is not obese and I was just fooling around, I could not convince her. Manjula vowed to reduce her weight and show the world that she is still the same one as she was 17 years before.
“Is it really so..?” – asked Manjula on phone. She was talking to her sister. “ Is that herbal medicine from U.S. so powerful..? Unbelievable.. In just 3 months I can loose 10 kgs..?”
“If you loose 10Kgs in 3 months, then it means you have Cancer” – I said jokingly. “Does that medicine cause cancer..?” I was commenting without lifting my eyes from my laptop.
“No.. No he is always like that. He is a skeptic” – said Manjula over the phone. Her sister should have heard my comment. “Can you tell me where I can get it..? How much it costs..?”
After she got the details, she slammed the phone down. “None of your stupid jokes on my Sister. She is sensitive you know” – Manjula said.
“No Manjula” – I said comforting her “See India is famous for all sorts of herbal medicines. Now you were talking about a herbal medicine from US. I am not sure what it is and what does it do. We should not take such medicines without prescription.”
“My suggestion is do a health checkup, if you have doubts on your health” – I continued.
“No..No..” – Manjula denied vehemently “My Sister says her friend used it and got good results. So it should be fine. Don’t be jealous that I would become slim and sleek again”.
As we assembled at the dinner table next day, Manjula said “You know that medicine my sister had talked about, it seems it causes some problem in gall bladder. Today my friend Shanti says one of her friends took such a medicine and was severely affected”
“Oh.. see, that’s what I also told you, right..?” – I said.
“No .. No.. You did not say that it would cause side-effects. You were just blurting out something, as you are a skeptic. Shanti only gave me correct information about it”.- she said.
“Oh..” – I exclaimed “Hmm.. Could be true.. But you see my relatives or friends do not have this Obesity problem and so I don’t get to know the side-effects..”
With that stupid comment, I had started her again.
“So, are you saying my relatives are all Obese..? My friends too are Obese..?”.- she asked angrily..
“Sorry Manju” – I said “I am telling you again. You are not obese at all. You are perfect. May be pear-shaped you know, more rounded at the bottom..”. As I realized I am offending her more, I bit my tongue.
“But.. but.. somewhere I read being pear-shaped is good for health” – I tried to comfort her only to ignite her more. My Poor wifey.. I could not convince her that she is really not obese at all, though that’s what I honestly thought.
I forgot about it after that. Few days later I could hear Manjula and another neighbor talking from their balconies.
“Where do you buy greens here..?” – asked the neighbor.
“No.. No.. You have to be careful about the greens” – said Manjula “I read an internet email forward. It says that leaves of greens have small invisible insect eggs, which if we eat causes lot of problems. Hence it is not good to take greens unless you are sure..”
“You know even fruits have lot of chemicals these days. In fact I was planning to eat only greens and fruits to reduce weight. But I researched on internet and found that greens and fruits are not good for health in Cities” – she said.
“Did you try the Walker..?” – said my neighbor “Walker is good for reducing fat. My sister lost 15 kgs using the walker. My brother’s agency sells such walkers. I can ask him to call you up. It just costs few tens of thousands of rupees”
“Sure Sure “ – said Manjula. “I am ready. Please give his mobile number..”.
“Let’s talk to this neighbor’s brother on Saturday. We can order the Walker from him. Only we need to find space to place it. Can we place it in the Bedroom..?” – she asked.
“But is our bedroom not so small... ? Can we keep it there..?” – I asked..
“We need to keep it somewhere. May be in the Hall“- she said.
“Dear Darling” – I said “You are not obese at all. You look appropriate and cute. Not sure why you are having such a complex. May be it is our mirror that shows you plumpy..?”
I wondered in my usual foot-in-the-mouth style.
“So you are ridiculing me again. I promise that I would loose weight somehow.” – she said “I will plan for the space and buy that walker or do something else. I promise”.
“See rats started having a field day again” –said Manjula “They started going around even in the day. I think you don't know how to use the mouse-trap. Otherwise how come your mouse-trap alone does not catch any mouse..?”.
Manjula was standing at the entrance of Kitchen in the Hall and talking to me. I was standing next to her.
“Hmm. I used the mouse-trap. But you know what happened..? I kept the vada you made yesterday in that
trap. Today morning I found that the mouse has dragged a piece of onion and kept it near the Vada. May be it says it needs an onion vada..?”.
“Joking..?”- Manjula said “If you think my vada is of poor taste that a mouse can’t eat, why don’t you make a good vada…? Mouse did not touch my vada. Even ants won’t touch the vada you make”
“So it is the curse of the Ele-fff-Ant” – I said. ‘Ele’ in tamil means mouse. I tried to pun around the words ‘ele’, ‘ant’, and elephant just for fun.
“Oh.. I look an elephant to you now..?” – said Manjula angrily.
“No No. Manjula, dear, believe me. For some reason you have lost a lot of weight in the last few days. You look much slimmer now. I was just trying to pun around and ridicule. But seriously wanted to ask you, what have you been doing to loose weight..?”- I asked
“And we did not buy that walker also. So I am really surprised how you lost weight..?- I continued..
“Really..?” –asked Manjula “I don’t know. .”. She thought about it for sometime.
"I had been circumambulating our Sarva Priya Mahaganapti in Murthy Street, West Mambalam, 108 times everyday for last one week. When you were sick, I had made that prayer that I would circumambulate 108times everyday for one mandala (48 days). I had not fulfilled it for long time. Last week, when you complained of Chest pain, I remembered that I had not completed it. So I started it. I couldn’t think of anything else..” – she said.
“Oh.. I don’t know, but you really look very fit now.” – I said
“Don’t bluff..” –said Manjula “You hype up everything or you are skeptical. Be truthful and tell me if I am really looking lean”.
“Amma.. mouse mouse ..” – shouted my sun suddenly. As we were talking a mouse was running across the hall into our kitchen. As Manjula saw the mouse entering the kitchen between her feet, she jumped.
I tried to hold her from falling off, by seizing her hip. She jumped both feet and landed again, as I held her by her hips, while the mouse entered the kitchen between her raised feet and vanished.
“See you have become lean” – I said. “As this mouse ran between your feet, I could lift you up easily holding your hips. Would it have been possible if you had been obese..?”
Manjulas big eyes widened much further. “You lifted me..? Have I become that lean..? Really..?” She asked with glee .
“Yes.. Yes..” – I said “If you want I can lift you up again and show”
“No.. No..don’t talk like this in front of kids” – Manjula blushed.
“Thanks Ganapati and your mouse. Sometimes silly lies for the sake of loved ones doesn’t matter” - This time only my mind voice spoke, as I stitched my lips with my fingers.
“What else can be a better solution, for being healthy, than circumambulating Ganapati 108 times everyday.. Both mind and heart get exercised. Is it not?”
“You said something” – Manjula asked.
“No..Not at all” – I said “Just admiring your look and feel”.
-TBT
