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Do our sasthras,(smartha) permit or approve the marriage where the bride is elder to the groom

prasad1

Well-known member
The Shastras or scriptures do not advocate anything as to age and difference between the groom and bride. It just explains that procreation, duty to provide for the family, and devotion to each other is key to happiness. Polygamy and polyandry were allowed to preserve the clan and ensure every woman was protected and could bear children.

I understand Yajnavalkya Smriti is considered authoritative, and it doesn’t give a particular age difference but says younger, but I have not studied it.

No such thing. Sita was older than Rama. Bhama has married already and older to Krishna.

Here is the story, I quote from Srimad Bhagavatham 9.23.34 - 9.23.38

9.23.34. The son of Usana was Rucaka , who had five sons — Purujit , Rukma ,Rukmesu, Pṛthu and Jyaamagha . I will now tell the stories about them.

9.23.35 Jyaamagha was a henpecked husband. Though he had no sons, he did not accept another wife, out of fear of his wife, Saibya.

9.23.36 Once, Jyaamagha, during an attack on an enemy country, took a girl for sexual gratification. Upon seeing her, Saibya was very angry and said to her husband, “You cheat, who is this girl sitting on my place in your chariot?” Jyaamagha replied,“ This girl will be your daughter-in-law. “

9.23 37 Saibya replied “ I am sterile and have no cowife. How can this girl be my daughter-in-law? Tell me ” Jyamagha replied “She will be a suitable wife for our future son"

9 23 38 Jyaamagha prayed to the Viswedevas and the Pithris and due to their blessings, Saibya later became pregnant. In due course she gave birth to a child named Vidarbha. Since the girl had been accepted as a daughter - in - law even before his birth, Vidarbha actually married her when he grew up.


 
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prasad1

Well-known member
Yes, it is acceptable from what I have seen.

One famous example would be:

I am sure you know Sachin Tendulkar (cricketer) and his wife Anjali. Do you know she's 6 years elder to him? And they are happily married for 19 years.

..the couple maintains that this age gap has never been a matter of concern in their relationship and instead, has made them more committed and understanding towards each other.
So, go ahead if you love the person and committed to spend the rest of your life with him/her.

More info (source): The Love Story Of Anjali And Sachin Tendulkar.


Abhishek Bachchan's marriage to Aishwarya Rai was one of the most talked topics of that time. Abhishek is two years younger than Aishwarya.

Cinema legend Sunil Dutt married Nargis in 1958. Nargis was a year older than Sunil Dutt. Their love story started when Sunil Dutt saved Nargis from a fire accident on the set of "Mother India".

Ultimately, marriage is between two people, if the love is strong they find a way. If it is weak then they will find a way to escape and part ways.
 
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prasad1

Well-known member
Do our sasthras,(smartha) permit or approve the marriage where the bride is elder to the groom

What is your position? What is your part? What is your interest in the marriage?
You can take any position and defend it.
If you do not want this marriage to happen, you can quote various scripture and denounce the marriage.
If your interest is seeing this marriage, you can justify it, and if it is you and your love is strong you would not need the permission of the public.
 

chandru210486

New member
The Shastras or scriptures do not advocate anything as to age and difference between the groom and bride. It just explains that procreation, duty to provide for the family, and devotion to each other is key to happiness. Polygamy and polyandry were allowed to preserve the clan and ensure every woman was protected and could bear children.

I understand Yajnavalkya Smriti is considered authoritative, and it doesn’t give a particular age difference but says younger, but I have not studied it.

No such thing. Sita was older than Rama. Bhama has married already and older to Krishna.

Here is the story, I quote from Srimad Bhagavatham 9.23.34 - 9.23.38

9.23.34. The son of Usana was Rucaka , who had five sons — Purujit , Rukma ,Rukmesu, Pṛthu and Jyaamagha . I will now tell the stories about them.

9.23.35 Jyaamagha was a henpecked husband. Though he had no sons, he did not accept another wife, out of fear of his wife, Saibya.

9.23.36 Once, Jyaamagha, during an attack on an enemy country, took a girl for sexual gratification. Upon seeing her, Saibya was very angry and said to her husband, “You cheat, who is this girl sitting on my place in your chariot?” Jyaamagha replied,“ This girl will be your daughter-in-law. “

9.23 37 Saibya replied “ I am sterile and have no cowife. How can this girl be my daughter-in-law? Tell me ” Jyamagha replied “She will be a suitable wife for our future son"

9 23 38 Jyaamagha prayed to the Viswedevas and the Pithris and due to their blessings, Saibya later became pregnant. In due course she gave birth to a child named Vidarbha. Since the girl had been accepted as a daughter - in - law even before his birth, Vidarbha actually married her when he grew up.


Sita is not older than Rama - pls don’t post distorted facts.
 

prasad1

Well-known member
Sita is not older than Rama - pls don’t post distorted facts.
I have not seen any birth certificates. So I am not an authority on this subject. I am not distorting any facts. I am posting an opinion. If you read different books, and different interpretations of Various Ramayana the ages of Ram and Sita are all over the place.

As per Amish Tripathi’s latest book SITA-Warrior of Mithila, Ram’s age is 4 years less than that of Sita’s. This was validated by the writer in many instancs throughout the book.
If you have any proof of the age please post a separate thread and we can carry this conversation there.


However, this is not the first time that the character of Sita has been “re-presented”. From Volga to Devdutt Pattanaik, several writers have focused on Sita’s perspective, but Amish scores a point by his simultaneous demolishing of the established image and building of a fresh one for this epic character. He maintains the delicate balance of feminine and feminist traits in her. His Sita is not only the Vishnu designate but is also five years older than Ram.

 
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prasad1

Well-known member
Tha Smritis as far as I know are silent on this.Bt they say the groom should be thrice the age of the bride
If the girl has to be of legal age, and if the guy has to be thrice his age, Indian will not have a population problem. There will be much more out of wedlock relation.


Let us be reasonable and keep the answers relevant to modern times.
 

athimber

Active member
Sorry, my exposure to shastras are very limited. But in case you posted this question with view to quench any personal interests, better take your own decision. The men/women ration in India is rapidly diminishing and in many Indian states it is less than 900 women to 1000 men as per 2011 Census. So if you have found one right choice for some one close to you please don't let any other issue come in between.
 

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