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Do our sasthras,(smartha) permit or approve the marriage where the bride is elder to the groom

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
The Shastras or scriptures do not advocate anything as to age and difference between the groom and bride. It just explains that procreation, duty to provide for the family, and devotion to each other is key to happiness. Polygamy and polyandry were allowed to preserve the clan and ensure every woman was protected and could bear children.

I understand Yajnavalkya Smriti is considered authoritative, and it doesn’t give a particular age difference but says younger, but I have not studied it.

No such thing. Sita was older than Rama. Bhama has married already and older to Krishna.

Here is the story, I quote from Srimad Bhagavatham 9.23.34 - 9.23.38

9.23.34. The son of Usana was Rucaka , who had five sons — Purujit , Rukma ,Rukmesu, Pṛthu and Jyaamagha . I will now tell the stories about them.

9.23.35 Jyaamagha was a henpecked husband. Though he had no sons, he did not accept another wife, out of fear of his wife, Saibya.

9.23.36 Once, Jyaamagha, during an attack on an enemy country, took a girl for sexual gratification. Upon seeing her, Saibya was very angry and said to her husband, “You cheat, who is this girl sitting on my place in your chariot?” Jyaamagha replied,“ This girl will be your daughter-in-law. “

9.23 37 Saibya replied “ I am sterile and have no cowife. How can this girl be my daughter-in-law? Tell me ” Jyamagha replied “She will be a suitable wife for our future son"

9 23 38 Jyaamagha prayed to the Viswedevas and the Pithris and due to their blessings, Saibya later became pregnant. In due course she gave birth to a child named Vidarbha. Since the girl had been accepted as a daughter - in - law even before his birth, Vidarbha actually married her when he grew up.


 
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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Yes, it is acceptable from what I have seen.

One famous example would be:

I am sure you know Sachin Tendulkar (cricketer) and his wife Anjali. Do you know she's 6 years elder to him? And they are happily married for 19 years.

..the couple maintains that this age gap has never been a matter of concern in their relationship and instead, has made them more committed and understanding towards each other.
So, go ahead if you love the person and committed to spend the rest of your life with him/her.

More info (source): The Love Story Of Anjali And Sachin Tendulkar.


Abhishek Bachchan's marriage to Aishwarya Rai was one of the most talked topics of that time. Abhishek is two years younger than Aishwarya.

Cinema legend Sunil Dutt married Nargis in 1958. Nargis was a year older than Sunil Dutt. Their love story started when Sunil Dutt saved Nargis from a fire accident on the set of "Mother India".

Ultimately, marriage is between two people, if the love is strong they find a way. If it is weak then they will find a way to escape and part ways.
 
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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Do our sasthras,(smartha) permit or approve the marriage where the bride is elder to the groom


What is your position? What is your part? What is your interest in the marriage?
You can take any position and defend it.
If you do not want this marriage to happen, you can quote various scripture and denounce the marriage.
If your interest is seeing this marriage, you can justify it, and if it is you and your love is strong you would not need the permission of the public.
 

chandru210486

New member
The Shastras or scriptures do not advocate anything as to age and difference between the groom and bride. It just explains that procreation, duty to provide for the family, and devotion to each other is key to happiness. Polygamy and polyandry were allowed to preserve the clan and ensure every woman was protected and could bear children.

I understand Yajnavalkya Smriti is considered authoritative, and it doesn’t give a particular age difference but says younger, but I have not studied it.

No such thing. Sita was older than Rama. Bhama has married already and older to Krishna.

Here is the story, I quote from Srimad Bhagavatham 9.23.34 - 9.23.38

9.23.34. The son of Usana was Rucaka , who had five sons — Purujit , Rukma ,Rukmesu, Pṛthu and Jyaamagha . I will now tell the stories about them.

9.23.35 Jyaamagha was a henpecked husband. Though he had no sons, he did not accept another wife, out of fear of his wife, Saibya.

9.23.36 Once, Jyaamagha, during an attack on an enemy country, took a girl for sexual gratification. Upon seeing her, Saibya was very angry and said to her husband, “You cheat, who is this girl sitting on my place in your chariot?” Jyaamagha replied,“ This girl will be your daughter-in-law. “

9.23 37 Saibya replied “ I am sterile and have no cowife. How can this girl be my daughter-in-law? Tell me ” Jyamagha replied “She will be a suitable wife for our future son"

9 23 38 Jyaamagha prayed to the Viswedevas and the Pithris and due to their blessings, Saibya later became pregnant. In due course she gave birth to a child named Vidarbha. Since the girl had been accepted as a daughter - in - law even before his birth, Vidarbha actually married her when he grew up.


Sita is not older than Rama - pls don’t post distorted facts.
 

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Sita is not older than Rama - pls don’t post distorted facts.

I have not seen any birth certificates. So I am not an authority on this subject. I am not distorting any facts. I am posting an opinion. If you read different books, and different interpretations of Various Ramayana the ages of Ram and Sita are all over the place.

As per Amish Tripathi’s latest book SITA-Warrior of Mithila, Ram’s age is 4 years less than that of Sita’s. This was validated by the writer in many instancs throughout the book.

If you have any proof of the age please post a separate thread and we can carry this conversation there.


However, this is not the first time that the character of Sita has been “re-presented”. From Volga to Devdutt Pattanaik, several writers have focused on Sita’s perspective, but Amish scores a point by his simultaneous demolishing of the established image and building of a fresh one for this epic character. He maintains the delicate balance of feminine and feminist traits in her. His Sita is not only the Vishnu designate but is also five years older than Ram.

 
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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Tha Smritis as far as I know are silent on this.Bt they say the groom should be thrice the age of the bride

If the girl has to be of legal age, and if the guy has to be thrice his age, Indian will not have a population problem. There will be much more out of wedlock relation.


Let us be reasonable and keep the answers relevant to modern times.
 

athimber

Active member
Sorry, my exposure to shastras are very limited. But in case you posted this question with view to quench any personal interests, better take your own decision. The men/women ration in India is rapidly diminishing and in many Indian states it is less than 900 women to 1000 men as per 2011 Census. So if you have found one right choice for some one close to you please don't let any other issue come in between.
 

pbkhema

Active member
E irstly to make mysekf ckear there are no special ri=uled for "smarthas:
The main sutras thatbare now followed are Apastamba Bodhanya etc All of them derived from Manu Smriti
There is no expresss ban on the bride being older
he recommendation is that the groom should be thrice the age of the bride
As there is no ban a marraig can be done
 

tbs

Well-known member
hi

marriages are mentioned in smrithis.....mainly manusmrithi .....no much abt ages i think......these

laws are variable to caste based system......
 

thebigthinkg

Active member
This is not a justification of manu smrti. manu smrti is an outdated text, not applicable to our lives at all.
Yet manu smrti has to be understood in context and also completely to figure out what it actually conveys.

manu smrti sec 9.88

utkṛṣṭāyābhi (eminent) rūpāya (form) varāya (groom) sadṛśāya ca (seen and) aprāptām (not fully grown) api (though/even) tāṃ tasmai kanyāṃ (that kanya) dadyād (think/offer) yatha avidhi (in case as exception)

As an exception, if not fully grown kanya has to be given, she has to be given to a groom who has eminent looks

kāmamāmaraṇāt tiṣṭhed gṛhe (endlessly be in the house by her own desire) kanyārtumatyapi (tll kanya's death) | na caivaināṃ prayacchet tu guṇahīnāya karhi cit (and anytime not even thought of being given to guna-hina)

But she cannot even be thought of to be given to a guna-hina and she by her own desire can stay in her house till her death.

trīṇi varṣāṇyudīkṣeta kumārya rtumatī (puberty) satī ūrdhvaṃ tu kālādet asmād vindeta sadṛśaṃ patim |

Three years the kumari can wait after puberty. After that she can find her own pati

adīyamānā (impure or unwise) bhartāram adhi gacched yadi svayam nainaḥ kiṃ cid avāpnoti na ca yaṃ sā'dhi gacchati

She does not become unwise/impure in case she does it, nor her companion

alaṅkāraṃ nādadīta pitryaṃ kanyā svayaṃvarā mātṛkaṃ bhrātṛdattaṃ vā stenā syād yadi taṃ haret

She does not take any ornaments/decorations from her father, mother, brother; else she is like a thief

pitre na dadyātśulkaṃ tu kanyāṃ ṛtumatīṃ haran sa ca svāmyādatikrāmed ṛtūnāṃ pratirodhanāt

In case of taking a kanya who has reached puberty, nothing is to be given, pitr falls off the ownership for keeping kanya (automaticaly).

triṃśadvarṣo vahet kanyāṃ hṛdyāṃ dvādaśavārṣikīm tryaṣṭavarṣa aṣṭavarṣāṃ vā (if in case or else) dharme sīdati satvaraḥ (his dharma suffers soon)

A thirty year old can carry a kanya with heart of 12 years or a 24 years of 8 years if in cases his dharma/duties suffer soon.

devadattāṃ patir bhāryāṃ vindate necchayā'tmanaḥ tāṃ sādhvīṃ bibhṛyān nityaṃ devānāṃ priyamācaran

A husband finds his wife as god-given, desire of his self; hennce he carries his wife always as the desire of gods.

prajanārthaṃ striyaḥ sṛṣṭāḥ santānārthaṃ ca mānavaḥ tasmāt sā dhāraṇo dharmaḥ śrutau patnyā sahoditaḥ

And man is for the purpose of offsprings, woman is for creating them; hence duties have to be borne together

kanyāyāṃ datta śulkāyāṃ (who gave dowry) mriyeta yadi śulkadaḥ devarāya (brother in law) pradātavyā yadi kanyā anumanyate

In case if a person has paid dowry for a kanya and he dies, if the kanya agrees, she is given to brother-in-law. (though giving such a dowry is totally prohibited)

Summary is this

Kanya is given only as an exception before puberty to one with great looks. A kanya can remain in parents house till her death as she desires, if there is no suitable groom.

A kanya can wait till 3 years after puberty to be married off. If not she can marry anyone she desires. In such cases she should not take anything from her family or else she is a thief.

If a kanya who has reached puberty is taken, no dowry should be given to her parents, as they don't have the ownership of kanya (after 3 years of her puberty).

A thirty year old can marry a 12 years or 24 years of 8 years, in case his duties/dharma suffers soon. (normally this is not the case. if in case a person has no other option and his duties suffer he does that as an exception).

For a husband, wife is god-given. Hence he carries her always. Man and woman both have to do duties together (hence marriage is important and hence the exception case above).

If the man who paid dowry to the kanya dies (before marriage), her brother can take her, if the kanya agrees.

**
The age difference mentioned here is more an exception in cases duties of a person suffers. In fact this should be taken as a upper limit of difference in age rather than the rule.

Not just in above case, but in general, manu smrti allows younger brothers to marry wife of elder brothers irrespective of age. So there is no specification of age.

Since duties of a couple are equal, the only expectation could be that pati-patni are in somewhat similar range of age (anyone's age can be higher or lower) with which they can do their household duties of creation of a family, its protection together.

This is ofcourse, my understanding.
 

Krishna dutta

New member
This is not a justification of manu smrti. manu smrti is an outdated text, not applicable to our lives at all.
Yet manu smrti has to be understood in context and also completely to figure out what it actually conveys.

manu smrti sec 9.88

utkṛṣṭāyābhi (eminent) rūpāya (form) varāya (groom) sadṛśāya ca (seen and) aprāptām (not fully grown) api (though/even) tāṃ tasmai kanyāṃ (that kanya) dadyād (think/offer) yatha avidhi (in case as exception)

As an exception, if not fully grown kanya has to be given, she has to be given to a groom who has eminent looks

kāmamāmaraṇāt tiṣṭhed gṛhe (endlessly be in the house by her own desire) kanyārtumatyapi (tll kanya's death) | na caivaināṃ prayacchet tu guṇahīnāya karhi cit (and anytime not even thought of being given to guna-hina)

But she cannot even be thought of to be given to a guna-hina and she by her own desire can stay in her house till her death.

trīṇi varṣāṇyudīkṣeta kumārya rtumatī (puberty) satī ūrdhvaṃ tu kālādet asmād vindeta sadṛśaṃ patim |

Three years the kumari can wait after puberty. After that she can find her own pati

adīyamānā (impure or unwise) bhartāram adhi gacched yadi svayam nainaḥ kiṃ cid avāpnoti na ca yaṃ sā'dhi gacchati

She does not become unwise/impure in case she does it, nor her companion

alaṅkāraṃ nādadīta pitryaṃ kanyā svayaṃvarā mātṛkaṃ bhrātṛdattaṃ vā stenā syād yadi taṃ haret

She does not take any ornaments/decorations from her father, mother, brother; else she is like a thief

pitre na dadyātśulkaṃ tu kanyāṃ ṛtumatīṃ haran sa ca svāmyādatikrāmed ṛtūnāṃ pratirodhanāt

In case of taking a kanya who has reached puberty, nothing is to be given, pitr falls off the ownership for keeping kanya (automaticaly).

triṃśadvarṣo vahet kanyāṃ hṛdyāṃ dvādaśavārṣikīm tryaṣṭavarṣa aṣṭavarṣāṃ vā (if in case or else) dharme sīdati satvaraḥ (his dharma suffers soon)

A thirty year old can carry a kanya with heart of 12 years or a 24 years of 8 years if in cases his dharma/duties suffer soon.

devadattāṃ patir bhāryāṃ vindate necchayā'tmanaḥ tāṃ sādhvīṃ bibhṛyān nityaṃ devānāṃ priyamācaran

A husband finds his wife as god-given, desire of his self; hennce he carries his wife always as the desire of gods.

prajanārthaṃ striyaḥ sṛṣṭāḥ santānārthaṃ ca mānavaḥ tasmāt sā dhāraṇo dharmaḥ śrutau patnyā sahoditaḥ

And man is for the purpose of offsprings, woman is for creating them; hence duties have to be borne together

kanyāyāṃ datta śulkāyāṃ (who gave dowry) mriyeta yadi śulkadaḥ devarāya (brother in law) pradātavyā yadi kanyā anumanyate

In case if a person has paid dowry for a kanya and he dies, if the kanya agrees, she is given to brother-in-law. (though giving such a dowry is totally prohibited)

Summary is this

Kanya is given only as an exception before puberty to one with great looks. A kanya can remain in parents house till her death as she desires, if there is no suitable groom.

A kanya can wait till 3 years after puberty to be married off. If not she can marry anyone she desires. In such cases she should not take anything from her family or else she is a thief.

If a kanya who has reached puberty is taken, no dowry should be given to her parents, as they don't have the ownership of kanya (after 3 years of her puberty).

A thirty year old can marry a 12 years or 24 years of 8 years, in case his duties/dharma suffers soon. (normally this is not the case. if in case a person has no other option and his duties suffer he does that as an exception).

For a husband, wife is god-given. Hence he carries her always. Man and woman both have to do duties together (hence marriage is important and hence the exception case above).

If the man who paid dowry to the kanya dies (before marriage), her brother can take her, if the kanya agrees.

**
The age difference mentioned here is more an exception in cases duties of a person suffers. In fact this should be taken as a upper limit of difference in age rather than the rule.

Not just in above case, but in general, manu smrti allows younger brothers to marry wife of elder brothers irrespective of age. So there is no specification of age.

Since duties of a couple are equal, the only expectation could be that pati-patni are in somewhat similar range of age (anyone's age can be higher or lower) with which they can do their household duties of creation of a family, its protection together.

This is ofcourse, my understanding.
This is not a justification of manu smrti. manu smrti is an outdated text, not applicable to our lives at all.
Yet manu smrti has to be understood in context and also completely to figure out what it actually conveys.

manu smrti sec 9.88

utkṛṣṭāyābhi (eminent) rūpāya (form) varāya (groom) sadṛśāya ca (seen and) aprāptām (not fully grown) api (though/even) tāṃ tasmai kanyāṃ (that kanya) dadyād (think/offer) yatha avidhi (in case as exception)

As an exception, if not fully grown kanya has to be given, she has to be given to a groom who has eminent looks

kāmamāmaraṇāt tiṣṭhed gṛhe (endlessly be in the house by her own desire) kanyārtumatyapi (tll kanya's death) | na caivaināṃ prayacchet tu guṇahīnāya karhi cit (and anytime not even thought of being given to guna-hina)

But she cannot even be thought of to be given to a guna-hina and she by her own desire can stay in her house till her death.

trīṇi varṣāṇyudīkṣeta kumārya rtumatī (puberty) satī ūrdhvaṃ tu kālādet asmād vindeta sadṛśaṃ patim |

Three years the kumari can wait after puberty. After that she can find her own pati

adīyamānā (impure or unwise) bhartāram adhi gacched yadi svayam nainaḥ kiṃ cid avāpnoti na ca yaṃ sā'dhi gacchati

She does not become unwise/impure in case she does it, nor her companion

alaṅkāraṃ nādadīta pitryaṃ kanyā svayaṃvarā mātṛkaṃ bhrātṛdattaṃ vā stenā syād yadi taṃ haret

She does not take any ornaments/decorations from her father, mother, brother; else she is like a thief

pitre na dadyātśulkaṃ tu kanyāṃ ṛtumatīṃ haran sa ca svāmyādatikrāmed ṛtūnāṃ pratirodhanāt

In case of taking a kanya who has reached puberty, nothing is to be given, pitr falls off the ownership for keeping kanya (automaticaly).

triṃśadvarṣo vahet kanyāṃ hṛdyāṃ dvādaśavārṣikīm tryaṣṭavarṣa aṣṭavarṣāṃ vā (if in case or else) dharme sīdati satvaraḥ (his dharma suffers soon)

A thirty year old can carry a kanya with heart of 12 years or a 24 years of 8 years if in cases his dharma/duties suffer soon.

devadattāṃ patir bhāryāṃ vindate necchayā'tmanaḥ tāṃ sādhvīṃ bibhṛyān nityaṃ devānāṃ priyamācaran

A husband finds his wife as god-given, desire of his self; hennce he carries his wife always as the desire of gods.

prajanārthaṃ striyaḥ sṛṣṭāḥ santānārthaṃ ca mānavaḥ tasmāt sā dhāraṇo dharmaḥ śrutau patnyā sahoditaḥ

And man is for the purpose of offsprings, woman is for creating them; hence duties have to be borne together

kanyāyāṃ datta śulkāyāṃ (who gave dowry) mriyeta yadi śulkadaḥ devarāya (brother in law) pradātavyā yadi kanyā anumanyate

In case if a person has paid dowry for a kanya and he dies, if the kanya agrees, she is given to brother-in-law. (though giving such a dowry is totally prohibited)

Summary is this

Kanya is given only as an exception before puberty to one with great looks. A kanya can remain in parents house till her death as she desires, if there is no suitable groom.

A kanya can wait till 3 years after puberty to be married off. If not she can marry anyone she desires. In such cases she should not take anything from her family or else she is a thief.

If a kanya who has reached puberty is taken, no dowry should be given to her parents, as they don't have the ownership of kanya (after 3 years of her puberty).

A thirty year old can marry a 12 years or 24 years of 8 years, in case his duties/dharma suffers soon. (normally this is not the case. if in case a person has no other option and his duties suffer he does that as an exception).

For a husband, wife is god-given. Hence he carries her always. Man and woman both have to do duties together (hence marriage is important and hence the exception case above).

If the man who paid dowry to the kanya dies (before marriage), her brother can take her, if the kanya agrees.

**
The age difference mentioned here is more an exception in cases duties of a person suffers. In fact this should be taken as a upper limit of difference in age rather than the rule.

Not just in above case, but in general, manu smrti allows younger brothers to marry wife of elder brothers irrespective of age. So there is no specification of age.

Since duties of a couple are equal, the only expectation could be that pati-patni are in somewhat similar range of age (anyone's age can be higher or lower) with which they can do their household duties of creation of a family, its protection together.

This is ofcourse, my understanding.
This is not a justification of manu smrti. manu smrti is an outdated text, not applicable to our lives at all.
Yet manu smrti has to be understood in context and also completely to figure out what it actually conveys.

manu smrti sec 9.88

utkṛṣṭāyābhi (eminent) rūpāya (form) varāya (groom) sadṛśāya ca (seen and) aprāptām (not fully grown) api (though/even) tāṃ tasmai kanyāṃ (that kanya) dadyād (think/offer) yatha avidhi (in case as exception)

As an exception, if not fully grown kanya has to be given, she has to be given to a groom who has eminent looks

kāmamāmaraṇāt tiṣṭhed gṛhe (endlessly be in the house by her own desire) kanyārtumatyapi (tll kanya's death) | na caivaināṃ prayacchet tu guṇahīnāya karhi cit (and anytime not even thought of being given to guna-hina)

But she cannot even be thought of to be given to a guna-hina and she by her own desire can stay in her house till her death.

trīṇi varṣāṇyudīkṣeta kumārya rtumatī (puberty) satī ūrdhvaṃ tu kālādet asmād vindeta sadṛśaṃ patim |

Three years the kumari can wait after puberty. After that she can find her own pati

adīyamānā (impure or unwise) bhartāram adhi gacched yadi svayam nainaḥ kiṃ cid avāpnoti na ca yaṃ sā'dhi gacchati

She does not become unwise/impure in case she does it, nor her companion

alaṅkāraṃ nādadīta pitryaṃ kanyā svayaṃvarā mātṛkaṃ bhrātṛdattaṃ vā stenā syād yadi taṃ haret

She does not take any ornaments/decorations from her father, mother, brother; else she is like a thief

pitre na dadyātśulkaṃ tu kanyāṃ ṛtumatīṃ haran sa ca svāmyādatikrāmed ṛtūnāṃ pratirodhanāt

In case of taking a kanya who has reached puberty, nothing is to be given, pitr falls off the ownership for keeping kanya (automaticaly).

triṃśadvarṣo vahet kanyāṃ hṛdyāṃ dvādaśavārṣikīm tryaṣṭavarṣa aṣṭavarṣāṃ vā (if in case or else) dharme sīdati satvaraḥ (his dharma suffers soon)

A thirty year old can carry a kanya with heart of 12 years or a 24 years of 8 years if in cases his dharma/duties suffer soon.

devadattāṃ patir bhāryāṃ vindate necchayā'tmanaḥ tāṃ sādhvīṃ bibhṛyān nityaṃ devānāṃ priyamācaran

A husband finds his wife as god-given, desire of his self; hennce he carries his wife always as the desire of gods.

prajanārthaṃ striyaḥ sṛṣṭāḥ santānārthaṃ ca mānavaḥ tasmāt sā dhāraṇo dharmaḥ śrutau patnyā sahoditaḥ

And man is for the purpose of offsprings, woman is for creating them; hence duties have to be borne together

kanyāyāṃ datta śulkāyāṃ (who gave dowry) mriyeta yadi śulkadaḥ devarāya (brother in law) pradātavyā yadi kanyā anumanyate

In case if a person has paid dowry for a kanya and he dies, if the kanya agrees, she is given to brother-in-law. (though giving such a dowry is totally prohibited)

Summary is this

Kanya is given only as an exception before puberty to one with great looks. A kanya can remain in parents house till her death as she desires, if there is no suitable groom.

A kanya can wait till 3 years after puberty to be married off. If not she can marry anyone she desires. In such cases she should not take anything from her family or else she is a thief.

If a kanya who has reached puberty is taken, no dowry should be given to her parents, as they don't have the ownership of kanya (after 3 years of her puberty).

A thirty year old can marry a 12 years or 24 years of 8 years, in case his duties/dharma suffers soon. (normally this is not the case. if in case a person has no other option and his duties suffer he does that as an exception).

For a husband, wife is god-given. Hence he carries her always. Man and woman both have to do duties together (hence marriage is important and hence the exception case above).

If the man who paid dowry to the kanya dies (before marriage), her brother can take her, if the kanya agrees.

**
The age difference mentioned here is more an exception in cases duties of a person suffers. In fact this should be taken as a upper limit of difference in age rather than the rule.

Not just in above case, but in general, manu smrti allows younger brothers to marry wife of elder brothers irrespective of age. So there is no specification of age.

Since duties of a couple are equal, the only expectation could be that pati-patni are in somewhat similar range of age (anyone's age can be higher or lower) with which they can do their household duties of creation of a family, its protection together.

This is ofcourse, my understanding.
In anyway
Many scriptures have quoted vedas in many ways .
Manusmriti is nothing but a manipulation of imaginations and the big mistake arose when aryasamaj adopted it as satyarth Prakash contents .
Going into deep roots vedas equally refer to pleasures and Yajnas for devas which mentions clearly not the almighty worship .
What if a human soul wanders into different bodies without attaining the liberation .
Regards
 

Krishna dutta

New member
E irstly to make mysekf ckear there are no special ri=uled for "smarthas:
The main sutras thatbare now followed are Apastamba Bodhanya etc All of them derived from Manu Smriti
There is no expresss ban on the bride being older
he recommendation is that the groom should be thrice the age of the bride
As there is no ban a marraig can be done
Manusmriti
Is figments of imaginations and
Nothing more .
Upanishads , Brahmaputra are just keeping a eagle look on vedas but
The core knowledge is contained in gita .
 

tbs

Well-known member
hi

manusmriti mainly a smriti ....just like law book....its outdated..i agreed.....certain ceremonies mentioned only

smritis...like apastamba/bodhayana......bhagavad gita is knowledge granth....
 

Krishna dutta

New member
Yes
Bhagavadgita covers the whole text explained in long and short form in vedas .
It clears the ignorance to get smriti so it is above all smritis , upanishads and even Brahmaputra which are for high philosophies .
I feel it to be an divine scripture .
Regards
 

tbs

Well-known member
Yes
Bhagavadgita covers the whole text explained in long and short form in vedas .
It clears the ignorance to get smriti so it is above all smritis , upanishads and even Brahmaputra which are for high philosophies .
I feel it to be an divine scripture .
Regards
hi

basically knowledge texts are called PRASTHANA TRAYI..means BRAHMASUTRA/UPANISHADS AND

BHAGAVAD GITA....so all acharyas has to write tikas for the above 3 texts...
 

Mani_Chennai

Active member
The Shastras or scriptures do not advocate anything as to age and difference between the groom and bride. It just explains that procreation, duty to provide for the family, and devotion to each other is key to happiness. Polygamy and polyandry were allowed to preserve the clan and ensure every woman was protected and could bear children.

I understand Yajnavalkya Smriti is considered authoritative, and it doesn’t give a particular age difference but says younger, but I have not studied it.

No such thing. Sita was older than Rama. Bhama has married already and older to Krishna.

Here is the story, I quote from Srimad Bhagavatham 9.23.34 - 9.23.38

9.23.34. The son of Usana was Rucaka , who had five sons — Purujit , Rukma ,Rukmesu, Pṛthu and Jyaamagha . I will now tell the stories about them.

9.23.35 Jyaamagha was a henpecked husband. Though he had no sons, he did not accept another wife, out of fear of his wife, Saibya.

9.23.36 Once, Jyaamagha, during an attack on an enemy country, took a girl for sexual gratification. Upon seeing her, Saibya was very angry and said to her husband, “You cheat, who is this girl sitting on my place in your chariot?” Jyaamagha replied,“ This girl will be your daughter-in-law. “

9.23 37 Saibya replied “ I am sterile and have no cowife. How can this girl be my daughter-in-law? Tell me ” Jyamagha replied “She will be a suitable wife for our future son"

9 23 38 Jyaamagha prayed to the Viswedevas and the Pithris and due to their blessings, Saibya later became pregnant. In due course she gave birth to a child named Vidarbha. Since the girl had been accepted as a daughter - in - law even before his birth, Vidarbha actually married her when he grew up.


The question is bearing child. Marrying a 40 year old lady by a 20 year old boy is fine with biology. But since reproductive capacity diminishes in women (she is born with about 300 eggs, the reproduction may be a point) in historical times. Also, the frontal context for girls matures around 22 and for the boys around 27-29 according to research. With high death rate due to diseases until about 1945, there was an urge to get married earlier, reproduce and die on an average around about 40 years). Thus, young girls got married earlier. But sastra never entered into marriage. Marriage rituals, Janavasam etc., were social events with eye witness to the event in case a dispute arises. Now all those are not true. So, if the girl is about 5 years older than the boys and the boys are around about 24-25, it will work out as mature lady will take care of the husband better than a girl who has to learn all the marital tricks. So, we do not have any authority – Hinduism did not prescribe but social needs and norms dictated the tradition. With a small Brahmin population and isolated due to travel difficulties and poverty, in general, remarriage was discouraged. It is also true, that the rest of the family took possession of the property of the dead man and enjoyed the benefits, though they professed God fearing. All have now changed. So, what ever is convenient and not harmful to family relationship should be OK. Will I marry a older women? Yes, provided she is not a narcissist.
 

Mani_Chennai

Active member
Sita is not older than Rama - pls don’t post distorted facts.
Please don't get upset. Seetha will not object. People show their ignorance and when she got married the marriageale age were 7 for girls and 9-10 for boys. My great grandmother got married like that and she had cursed every one for that. Balyavivaha was the norm, thus if he means another 2nd older Seetha, I don't think first Seetha would have prevented it. Also, according to legen, Rama said Eka patni vrat - one woman policy and he knew the fate of 2+ wives in a males life, even though as a King he could have married. So, any thing posted is personal opinion and no one was there at that time, lives until now (Anjaneya may be an exception, but he too is running away from Bhkatas).
 
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