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Did Lord Ram err in His duty as husband?


Well-known member
So much debate happened on this subject that there is a polarization on the rightness of Rams decision to send a pregnant Sita to forest.

Frankly I have not read all the arguments on both the sides. So presenting my own.

Thr trick to solving this problem is to understand that when it comes to avatars they are operating at two levels , one their divine level snd the other the human. Ram avatar was more human than divine. So firstly I think there is no need to ascribe impeccability to all of His actions. He was supposed to behave in a human way. Sending Sita to forest yielding to the words of public should be seen in this context. This is the human level. But there is divine level too. Every action of divinity is replete with purposes especially when it pertains to learning by lesser beings. This is called as lila of God. So at a divine level He acted with a purpose that may unveil and fructify at some point in future probably in the future avatars of Vishnu.

That unveiling would explain and undo satisfactorily the seeming flaw that was demonstrated in an earlier avatar at a lesser level and more importantly will have a valuable lesson to teach the human

The above is the way I see it. Opinions welcome.
The reality is so completely synchronised that the need for certain actions at a particular time especially by divinity may not be evident. Synchrony ensures completion of divine objectives in a neat way.
Firstly Lord Ram subject Himself to the influence of emotions and did not get projected as objective as Lord Krishna. Normal emotions influenced Him. Lord Krishna in His place would have felt zero offence in the opinion of public as there was no truth in it and He would have waited and more focussed on edifying the public. He would know the veil of maya influencing the public and would have addressed that.

But as I said it was not preordained to be that way. Lord Ram had many divine goals to accomplish and the action of sending Sita to forest would have fitted in the grand scheme of things of the divinity.
It depends how we view it.
If we see it at a human level then He went all the way by foot to get His wife back but only to abandon Her later when She was pregnant.

So its He was under some pressure to maintain His kingdom.

But at the same time He was never really wanting to be King because He was fine with the Kingdom going to Bharata.

So He could have always given up His throne to one of His brothers and followed Sita to the forest instead of sending Her away alone..after all She went along with Him to the forest when She actually didnt have too.

So at a human level..He was a good son, good brother, good King , fairly good husband before Seeta was pregnant but not a good husband for sending Her away.

Now, at an Esoteric avatar level this is where our perception needs to go on beyond our worldy desire filled views.

Seeta being sent away during Her pregnancy shows the strength of forebearance in a woman.
Have we noted that widows can handle bringing up children alone but widowers fail miserably?

Sufis say that a woman is stronger than a man spirituality due to the fact she has both a heart and a uterus.
Both of these organs are seats of compassion and mercy and also strength of the uterus to sustain an embryo.

Sufis say a man does not have a uterus so less spiritual strength hence their path in spirituality is harder than a woman.

Interestingly Sufis also say that the iron in our red blood cells stores bio memory of our negative deeds.
And a woman has monthly menses and loses the stored negativity but a man has very less chances of losing negative bio memory hence again its easier for a woman to be spiritual and they dont need to put in that much effort like a male.

So back to the story, Seeta when sent away should tremendous courage and neither did She accept Lord Rama's proposal of a second fire test.

She went back into the earth.
The first time round when Seeta got kidnapped by Ravana,She was pining for Rama.
Rama too was pining for Her.

That denotes how we humans have attachment.

She was willing to do a fire test on her own accord because She was still attached to Rama.

Then when Rama sent Her away He had shown us that He was not attached to Her.

So He showed non attachment first.

Then it was Seeta's turn to show non attachment and She went back into the earth..back to the source.

Now! Rama was the most attached to Lakshmana..so finally what happened?
He sentenced Lakshmana to lose his life for breaking the rule of no entry.

Rama had given up His attachment to the one person He loved the most, His brother.

Then Rama too ends His avatarhood on earth.

So the big picture is non attachment..not in the sense to ask us to reject everyone we know but to see the deeper meaning of every step Rama took.

The above is a perception of mine, this is how the story unfolds to me.
Also it was Sita who had to prove Her chastity but Rama even though away from Sita had not to. This says something fundamental. It shows that a woman should be held incorruptible and pure in accordance with her nature. I see that only as a compliment to women. She is to be protected. Though a protector may protect many. But ideally Lord Ram's fidelity to Sita should be the example to follow imo.

Coming back to the topic Lord Ram's decision to send Sita to forest can only be compensated by an exemplary divine reason as even as a human decision it does not stand up to the test of fairness.

Showing the deeper message of non attachment could be but I think it is not a strong enough reason. Sometimes one has to wait for other avatars to find out the reason. But I believe that the divine reason would be good enough to make up for the seeming unfairness meted out to Sita.
Let me make an attempt on what could have been the divine reason. Lord Ram was indeed extremely loving of His wife but the human enforced in Him prevailed and in an unfair way. But look at the next avatar of Vishnu. The love story of Lord Krishna and Radha. It is the greatest and other worldly. What would have happened in the spiritual realm happened on earth. It sets the standard of how true love should be.

But would that have satisfied Sita presumably incarnated as Radha? Perhaps. But She would want more. She would want the God to display that standard under the setting Rama was at. Mundane circumstances and pressures but transcendental response. Why this lila? Because lessons are best learnt when presented in a gradual way and as a progression.

We indeed now debate the fairness of Rams decision. It has indeed made us think deeply and dissect it thoroughly. If the logical progression and solution to it happened the message would be clear. The message I think it would be a protector should be balanced and act in a way that is fair to all.

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