Deception and the Games People Play

[renuka]

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Today I was thinking that we humans to a certain extent have some form of Multiple Personality Disorder or should I say Multiple Facets of Personality.

I am not saying we are Ambi,Remo and Anniyan range but as it is always thought that "What we think we are, What others think we are and What we really are"... are the three different facets to our personality.

Do all three have to match? and how is the game played to match all three?
Does a mismatch amount to deception?

We spend all our life playing games that others want us to play but is there anyone who really plays the game he wants?

Is that person the winner or the loser or the master planner?

 

[zebra16]

Today I was thinking that we humans to a certain extent have some form of Multiple Personality Disorder or should I say Multiple Facets of Personality.

I would not call it as Multiple Personality Disorder. I would put it as (i) Real Me; (ii) The Real Me, I want to be; (iii) The Real Me as perceived by others.

I am not saying we are Ambi,Remo and Anniyan range but as it is always thought that "What we think we are, What others think we are and What we really are"... are the three different facets to our personality.

Each entity views only one side of personality, hence the apparent differences. If you closely observe there are only two categories; viz. (i) what we think we are; and (ii) what others perceive us as. There is no observer to record the status of "what we really are"

Do all three have to match?

All the three (or correctly two) can match only when there is no hypocrisy and there is no error of communication and understanding between the transmitting and receiving entity..

and how is the game played to match all three?

Whole lifetime is spent in playing of games. But mostly the different phases are kept compartmentalised so whole lifetime has to be spent in endeavouring to keep them separate.

We spend all our life playing games that others want us to play but is there anyone who really plays the game he wants?

Selfishness will always win in the end and also when one concludes that mask can be thrown away with least personal damage. That is why you will find people divulging personal emails to the whole world after a relationship has soured, although while exchanging emails etc. they would have sworn to secrecy for ever.

Is that person the winner or the loser or the master planner?

Everyone dies with some unfulfilled ambitions so no one can reach the status of master planner. As regards winner or loser, the self always think of itself as a winner overall, while the counter-party always think that he got the better of the other. The reality is somewhere in between.

 

[Brahin]

Dear Renu, there can be more than 3 personalities [ 1] for hubby or wife [ 2] for childrens [3] for mother & father [4] for forum.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu, there can be more than 3 personalities [ 1] for hubby or wife [ 2] for childrens [3] for mother & father [4] for forum.

LOL!!! I never thought of FORUM!!!:rockon:

 

[renuka]

I would not call it as Multiple Personality Disorder. I would put it as (i) Real Me; (ii) The Real Me, I want to be; (iii) The Real Me as perceived by others.



Each entity views only one side of personality, hence the apparent differences. If you closely observe there are only two categories; viz. (i) what we think we are; and (ii) what others perceive us as. There is no observer to record the status of "what we really are"



All the three (or correctly two) can match only when there is no hypocrisy and there is no error of communication and understanding between the transmitting and receiving entity..



Whole lifetime is spent in playing of games. But mostly the different phases are kept compartmentalised so whole lifetime has to be spent in endeavouring to keep them separate.



Selfishness will always win in the end and also when one concludes that mask can be thrown away with least personal damage. That is why you will find people divulging personal emails to the whole world after a relationship has soured, although while exchanging emails etc. they would have sworn to secrecy for ever.



Everyone dies with some unfulfilled ambitions so no one can reach the status of master planner. As regards winner or loser, the self always think of itself as a winner overall, while the counter-party always think that he got the better of the other. The reality is somewhere in between.

Dear ZebraJi,

Perfect!!

 

[nalanda]

The word personality finds its origin in greek(persona) meaning mask.So by its very nature we wear different masks at different times and therefore portray different images to different people.Also if you study the works of Alfred Adler and particularly the"family contellation" as he calls it, you will realise that it also depends on what position we are in the family.For example, the first child will always try to be a parent figure to the other siblings and therefore tend to be righteous and stay on the side of the law and often end up in such careers. The second child will always find competing against the first a struggle and therefore will tend to make their mark in life in the opposite direction. The youngest in the family learn how to get everybody wrapped around his/her little finger and tend to make a good career in acting.
This study was not done in India, so may not be applicable to asian communities, where family traditions may apply.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

"You are NOT what you think you are!

You are NOT what I think you are!!

You are what you think I think you are!!!"

This is my father's famous quotation.

I am sure we will all agree with this after seeing

the real life effects of the third statement.:scared:

Today I was thinking that we humans to a certain extent have some form of Multiple Personality Disorder or should I say Multiple Facets of Personality.

I am not saying we are Ambi,Remo and Anniyan range but as it is always thought that "What we think we are, What others think we are and What we really are"... are the three different facets to our personality.

Do all three have to match? and how is the game played to match all three?
Does a mismatch amount to deception?

We spend all our life playing games that others want us to play but is there anyone who really plays the game he wants?

Is that person the winner or the loser or the master planner?

 

[Raghy]

And I thought I need atleast half bottle of Jack Daniels before words started dancing around me!... not so after reading Post #7! I didn't need a drop of booze!

Cheers!

 

[biswa]

Dear Renu, there can be more than 3 personalities [ 1] for hubby or wife [ 2] for childrens [3] for mother & father [4] for forum.

You are right. The forum personality is also known as the "Warrior Personality".

I actually think there is at least one more: "Work personality". People are forced to behave differently at work than how they behave at home or even how they react in the forum.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Truly a knockout post eh???

And I thought I need atleast half bottle of Jack Daniels before words started dancing around me!... not so after reading Post #7! I didn't need a drop of booze!

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

You are right. The forum personality is also known as the "Warrior Personality".

I actually think there is at least one more: "Work personality". People are forced to behave differently at work than how they behave at home or even how they react in the forum.

Yes you are right..I feel this "Multiple Personality" affects Politicians the most.
I always wondered why many Politicians however good at the begining eventually play deceptive games and I think it all boils down to FEAR!!

FEAR is a primal instinct that protects man from danger.In politics when a person is new to the arena he tries to make a change and revolution sorts but later realizes that he cant control those who will pose a threat to him.

Fear fills his mind and he has no choice but to play along to maintain harmony but in that process suppress those who have been docile and harmless all along.


This type of personality makes "Tyrants" but deep down inside Fear lurks in his mind and body.

I dont know much about EVR but from what I have read and also from what I see in Forum I feel EVR falls under this category.
He feared the Upper Caste Non Brahmins I feel.

There is a program in National Geographic Channel which covers the topic of Psychology of Politicians and Men of the past.

It is quite shocking to read the analysis that most Tyrants have been insecure individuals with fear ruling them and nothing more.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Dear Renu, there can be more than 3 personalities [ 1] for hubby or wife [ 2] for childrens [3] for mother & father [4] for forum.

தச அவதாரம்.



மனிதர்களும் எடுக்கின்றார்கள்,
மண்ணுலகில் தச அவதாரங்கள்!

தந்தைக்கு நல்ல ஒரு மகனாகவும்,
மகனுக்குத் நல்ல தந்தையாகவும்;

தாத்தாவுக்குச் செல்லப் பேரனாகவும்,
பேரனுக்குப் பிடித்த தாத்தாவாகவும்;

அண்ணனுக்குத் தக்க தம்பியாகவும்,
தம்பிக்கு ஏற்ற அண்ணனாகவும்;

ஆசிரியருக்குச் சிறந்த மாணவனாகவும்,
மாணவனுக்கு உகந்த ஆசிரியராகவும்;

மாமனாருக்குப் பிரிய மருமகனாகவும்,
மருமகனுக்கு, உயர்ந்த மாமனாராகவும்!

கண்ணன் எடுத்த அவதாரங்களைக்
கண்கள் குளிரக் காண்போமா, நாம்?

மனிதர்களுக்கு அவன் ஒரு மாணிக்கம்;
மனம் கவர்ந்த மன்மதன், மாதர்களுக்கு!

கோபர்களுக்கு, நெருங்கிய நண்பன் அவன்;
கோபியருக்கோ, உள்ளம் கவர்ந்த காதலன்.

தேவகி வசுதேவருக்கு, நோற்றுப் பெற்ற புதல்வன்;
பாவிகளுக்குத் தண்டனை அளிக்கும் தர்மதேவன்.

பொல்லாத கம்சனுக்கு, அச்சம் தரும் காலதேவன்;
பொது ஜனங்களுக்கு, அவன் ஒரு சிறு குழந்தை.

யோகியருக்கு, எல்லாம் வல்ல பரமாத்மா;
ஞானியருக்கு, அவன் ஞானம் தந்த பரமன்.

கண்டவர் மனங்களில், கம்சன் அரண்மனையில்,
கண்ணன் நிலை பெற்று விளங்கியது, இவ்வண்ணமே!

வாழ்க வளமுடன்,
விசாலாக்ஷி ரமணி.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Swami Dayanada Saraswathy used to enact very humorously how the man responds to the various naamaas he is associated with in each of the role played by him.

In the office he will be the "Narasimham" to his subordinates...

even when his real name may be Narayan.

He will Mr. Narayan to his equals and his boss.

He will be 'Naanaa" to his father,

"kannaa" to his mother and

"eannaa" to his wife!

Of course his children will call him as appaa, daddy, paa or any other name they take fancy to!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I thought that booze made the world dance!!!

Does it make the words also dance???

World ???:decision: words???

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

# 13 continued...

I forgot to add the names "annaa" used by the younger siblings and

"naanoo" used by the older siblings!

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Suppose you look at it from an individual's point of view, isn’t there just one thing that is going on - a survival mechanism?

This means wearing different masks for different occasions. At the risk of over-simplification, one can think of the following masks- one to show subservience to the employer, one to show docility to spouse/parents, one for friends to brag about your scoring with girls/boys, etc etc. It is all masks, masks, and masks.

Would you call this “multiple personality”?

 

[renuka]

Suppose you look at it from an individual's point of view, isn’t there just one thing that is going on - a survival mechanism?

This means wearing different masks for different occasions. At the risk of over-simplification, one can think of the following masks- one to show subservience to the employer, one to show docility to spouse/parents, one for friends to brag about your scoring with girls/boys, etc etc. It is all masks, masks, and masks.

Would you call this “multiple personality”?

I would not say so...thats just multiple duties.

 

[Raghy]

I thought that booze made the world dance!!!

Does it make the words also dance???

World ???:decision: words???

Sowbagyavathy Visalakshi Ramani, Greetings.

I am a குடிமகன் in this forum. As blood alcohol level increases, at one point there will be slight giddiness; it is very much equal to the giddiness experienced by persons suffering from 'postural drop' ( drop in BP when standing up). That giddiness lasts only few seconds; For a split second vision in both eyes go off and comeback ( indicating alcohol crosses the blood brain barrier). (Seldom I go that far. But, I have though). After that level, speech gets affected. வார்த்தைகள் குழறும்! ( dancing of words. It is even hard to choose right words). Only after that the whole world dances! At that point குடிமகன் thinks he is 'rock steady' and the whole world is unsteady... this is when he says...பாருங்கப்பா! இவ்ளோ தண்ணி அடிச்ச்சப்புரம் நான் ஸ்டெடியா நிக்கிறேன்!...பாக்கி எல்லோரும் ஆட்ராங்கபா!

Cheers!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Multiple roles like the ones an actor assumes in different movies. :drama:

That is why life is called a drama in the first place.

Suppose you look at it from an individual's point of view, isn’t there just one thing that is going on - a survival mechanism?

This means wearing different masks for different occasions. At the risk of over-simplification, one can think of the following masks- one to show subservience to the employer, one to show docility to spouse/parents, one for friends to brag about your scoring with girls/boys, etc etc. It is all masks, masks, and masks.

Would you call this “multiple personality”?

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I am reminded of watching the Insight into stroke posted by Mr. Nainagaru.

The words spoken will be made up of only zha, zhaa, zhi, zhee, zhu, zhoo....etc.

The person will take one step forward and three steps backward.. reminding us of a famous frog puzzle.

If he decides to walk home he will be found asleep in wide dry gutter the next morning. :spit:

Sowbagyavathy Visalakshi Ramani, Greetings.

I am a குடிமகன் in this forum. As blood alcohol level increases, at one point there will be slight giddiness; it is very much equal to the giddiness experienced by persons suffering from 'postural drop' ( drop in BP when standing up). That giddiness lasts only few seconds; For a split second vision in both eyes go off and comeback ( indicating alcohol crosses the blood brain barrier). (Seldom I go that far. But, I have though). After that level, speech gets affected. வார்த்தைகள் குழறும்! ( dancing of words. It is even hard to choose right words). Only after that the whole world dances! At that point குடிமகன் thinks he is 'rock steady' and the whole world is unsteady... this is when he says...பாருங்கப்பா! இவ்ளோ தண்ணி அடிச்ச்சப்புரம் நான் ஸ்டெடியா நிக்கிறேன்!...பாக்கி எல்லோரும் ஆட்ராங்கபா!

Cheers!

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Man (Oh mylord, that includes the ones who contain them, women), is a creature of circumstances deriving inclinations and dislikes, from the genes, and elders of both sides. The first issue may have had advantages. By quirk of nature the second gets either more, or less.மூத்தது மோழை, இளையது காளை ஆவதும் உண்டு. முதலது பெண் ஆனால், அவள் ஆதி பராசக்தி ஆவதும் கண்கூடு.ஆக, ஒவ்வொருவரின், பிறப்பின், தலைஎழுத்து.

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Multiple roles like the ones an actor assumes in different movies. :drama:

That is why life is called a drama in the first place.

Shakespeare compares the world to a stage and life to a play, and catalogues the various stages in a man's life.
"All the world's a stage" - in As You Like It

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

When the world becomes a stage, all the people in it become actors and

life becomes a drama.

Shakespeare compares the world to a stage and life to a play, and catalogues the various stages in a man's life.
"All the world's a stage" - in As You Like It

 

[Raghy]

Today I was thinking that we humans to a certain extent have some form of Multiple Personality Disorder or should I say Multiple Facets of Personality.

I am not saying we are Ambi,Remo and Anniyan range but as it is always thought that "What we think we are, What others think we are and What we really are"... are the three different facets to our personality.

Do all three have to match? and how is the game played to match all three?
Does a mismatch amount to deception?

We spend all our life playing games that others want us to play but is there anyone who really plays the game he wants?

Is that person the winner or the loser or the master planner?

Sowbagyavathy Dear Renuka, Greetings.

I have a small doubt about the opening post. What about the persons who are pretty much same everywhere? The whole thing boils down to the basic quality of the person. How about a person whose basic qualities are that defined, he/she is always the same in attitude, behaviour, oral prsentation etc are the same sat home, at work, at functions, at parties and amoung strangers? It may sound quite boring personality.. what is it not so? Your inputs, please. Thanks.

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Sowbagyavathy Dear Renuka, Greetings.

I have a small doubt about the opening post. What about the persons who are pretty much same everywhere? The whole thing boils down to the basic quality of the person. How about a person whose basic qualities are that defined, he/she is always the same in attitude, behaviour, oral prsentation etc are the same sat home, at work, at functions, at parties and amoung strangers? It may sound quite boring personality.. what is it not so? Your inputs, please. Thanks.

Cheers!

Dear Raghy Ji,

You are going to love my reply.

There are two types of individuals who are equiposed in all situations..that is pretty much the same everywhere.

1)A Saint or a Jeevan Muktha who is above the pairs of opposite becos he is Spiritually High.

2)A person who is constantly Spiritually High on C2H5OH..even he is pretty much the same everyhwhere!!LOL