Customs and beliefs during Shraddham ceremoney

[iyermr37]

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Hello,

Is it right to deny attending shraddham ceremony to the deceased daughter in law's parents? Recently I was told I cannot attend the ceremony but only on the Subha sweekaram day and cannot enter the house on the previous days. I thought this was a strange interpretation of the customs. Can you guide me on the corrrect practice. I had an year back attended all the 13 days of the ceremonies connected with the demise.

 

[sangom]

Hello,

Is it right to deny attending shraddham ceremony to the deceased daughter in law's parents? Recently I was told I cannot attend the ceremony but only on the Subha sweekaram day and cannot enter the house on the previous days. I thought this was a strange interpretation of the customs. Can you guide me on the corrrect practice. I had an year back attended all the 13 days of the ceremonies connected with the demise.

It is not customary to attend the shrAddham ceremony of one's sambandhis.

 

[iyermr37]

Customs and beliefs during Shraddham ceremony

It is not customary to attend the shrAddham ceremony of one's sambandhis.

But this leads to some inconsistencies! In the tharpanam conducted every ammavasya, the person does tharpanam not only for 3 gnerations of pithamahas but also 3 generations of his mathru pithamahas. That means the mappilai's descendants would be doing tharpanam for his father-in- law and mother-in-law also later!
When his progenies have to do tharpanam for someone in the future why there is a bar for his presence? My feeling is that these are time distorted customs and is not uniform in various parts of our country. In the absence of any unified authority for interpretation of these degenerate into inconsistencies. Your remarks?

 

[Rajappa nkl]

It is not correctt that not allowing fathr in law in previous days srardham. But on 13th day allowing hiim\
to attend subASWKARAN, i FEEL THAT THEY WANT THE SEER GOLDEN RING ETC FROM MAMANAR
BUT NOT WANT THEIR PRSENCE I THE FUNCTION. IT IS PLKANNED THING i HOPE.
iT IS NOT TNERE IN ANY PART OF OUR COIUNTRY,

rAJAPPA nAMAKKAL

 

[iyermr37]

I agree with you. These time distorted practices are nothing to do with spirituality but with twisting the noble concepts of our Hindu dharma to practice male superiority leading to unwanted bitter tastes. At the same time they do not follow the some other practices which are not very convenient for following such as full confinement for a compete year not getting out of the house, shaving off the hair wearing only white clothes and not wearing a bindi! If some learned pundit can publish a book about these it would be helpful for the younger generations who want to keep the spirituality but not the unwanted twisted beliefs.