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Cultivating Gratitude

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I know we are all full of ourselves.
We have to have big EGOS to assume we know it all. We have been successful against all odds, no one other than me is responsible for my success. But we forget that there are various people and organizations gave us the opportunity to attain what we are today. We have to be thankful to lot of people. Humility is a forgotten word. Then If I know it all why should I give credit to others?
But it does not hurt us to say THANK YOU to all those people responsible for who we are today.
I was reading a book and came across this passage.

I once traveled with a friend who had great insight into human nature. He said, “Wherever you go you can find something to complain about.” If we travel, we can complain about lumpy beds and crowded airports. But if we stay home, we can complain that we never go anywhere interesting and there’s never anything good on television. In Japanese language there is a term -- on. The meaning of on often includes a sense of gratitude combined with a desire to repay others for what we have been given. It’s not just that we feel grateful, or that we express our gratitude, but that we actually experience a sincere desire to give something back. We might think of it as appreciation that stimulates a sense of obligation. Not an externally imposed obligation. But a sense of obligation that arises naturally within us as we recognize how we have been supported and cared for by others.

Gratitude -- transcending the complaint-based life
I guess we need to thank ONE ANOTHER for all that we enjoy

here in this Forum including
:hug: and :tea: and :boxing: and :argue:.

They add spice to our otherwise dull, dreary

and monotonous lives.
I guess we need to thank ONE ANOTHER for all that we enjoy

here in this Forum including
:hug: and :tea: and :boxing: and :argue:.

They add spice to our otherwise dull, dreary

and monotonous lives.

The last time we had such a "peace series" and almost immediately on its conclusion there were bomb blasts
Life is FULL of surprises, twists and turns like the O Henry stories.

What was the thread you are referring to??

Is it the "Adam to Zeus" by any chance?

There have been so many bomb blasts that I fail to remember their headings :)
Thanking people has always been part of our tradition.
The gesture of giving Thambulam is an act of expressing thankfuless if I am right. It has no restrictions.
A guest to your home is sent with a Thambulam, which is note of thanks for visiting.
Showing gratitude as by saying Thank You is an important gesture I feel that can even be used among close relatives and spouses but many people get surprised when they hear a wife or husband saying thank you to each other...I wonder why??

I feel the thank you word reminds us never to take anyone for granted and somehow the best form of gratitude spouses can share is by saying "Thank You for Loving Me"
My wife told me how everybody was shocked when she, a newly admitted student in a convent school, said thank you to the temple priest after getting 'prasadam'. Her cousins still make fun of her for this. But my father and grandfather always said 'dhanyosmi' on such an occasion. So we have only lost the tradition. For some years I have been saying 'dhanyavad'.
In work when we used to bring consultants from India, we had to coach them about this aspect. I guess in India, thanking a subordinate is not common. Our office assistant as american always used to complain about the rudeness of these consultants. We did not understand till we saw an exchange, and then saw her reaction, when the conversation abruptly ended without a Thank YOU from the consultant. He was not rude but he did not express a gratitude either.

But my contention is not a customarily thank you is enough, it is that it has to heartfelt gratitude toward others who made us what we are. (only if you feel good about yourself).
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TED videos are very informative. The video in the link, given in the OP, reminded me of the poem by W. H. Davies:


What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Every day, I remember what my father often used to say: 'Thank God for the small mercies!'. :hail: . :angel:

Dear All

I agree with "Prasad1" (!). " Sorry " and " Thanks " are like the coolant and lubricant of the Internal Combustion Engine
of the mind. This I.C.engine [such as in a car] runs on EGO as its in-exhaustible fuel and emits highly hazardous HATRED as effluents. Overheating of such an I.C. engine [ due to insufficient coolant and lubricant ] causes it to get SEIZED !
We need regular topping-up of our coolant and lubricant levels to keep our I.C. Engines functioning at optimum efficiency
irrespective of the RPM [ read stress levels ].

Let's not worry about External Combustion Engines - others with highly exaggerated impressions of themselves and inflated egos - let them burn on their own "FUEL"

Now, "THANKS" for letting me contribute to the topic and "SORRY" for having bugged anyone.

Anand Manohar
Mr. Anand,
Beautiful poetic expression of an everyday event.
You must be an engineer, to be an artist at the same time.
What Was Told, That
by Jalal al-Din Rumi
translated by Coleman Barks

What was said to the rose that made it open was saidto me here in my chest. What was told the cypress that made it strongand straight, what waswhispered the jasmine so it is what it is, whatever madesugarcane sweet, whateverwas said to the inhabitants of the town of Chigil inTurkestan that makes themso handsome, whatever lets the pomegranate flower blushlike a human face, that isbeing said to me now. I blush. Whatever put eloquence inlanguage, that's happening here.The great warehouse doors open; I fill with gratitude,chewing a piece of sugarcane, in love with the one to whom every that belongs!

I thought "Thanks & Sorry" ARE something built-in in our everyday life.

It comes out automatically from our heart.

Where's the need for Cultivating Gratitude, anyway?

It sounds pretty strange to me! Culture/Etiquette Police are in charge now, it appears!! Lol. :)


Peace :)
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Children learn very fast. They like to imitate their parents, till they start thinking on their own. So, the parents should have the

habit of saying 'thanks' and 'sorry'. A group of people in Coimbatore district talk to their children with respect (neenga, vAnga,

pOnga etc) to cultivate respect in them. Some other groups address even Mahatma Gandhi as 'avan, ivan'!! :blabla:
R K Narayanan'e experience in US, as written by him:

R K Narayan was very much impressed with the sweet smiling face and impeccable behaviour of the check out girl in a supermarket. She welcomed him when he came to the counter, billed all his purchase and packed them, keeping a beaming face. She wished him "have a nice day, sir' after the transactions were over. He was so impressed and moved with this show of courtesy and goodwill, that he felt he should reciprocate, and said 'you too have a nice day, lady". The sales girl lost all poise, scowled at him and shouted, 'it is my job to say this, you don't have to copy me'. Narayan was shocked and stunned and left the shop quietly.

In japan and korea too, in the past, it was the custom of young people to keep the left palm under the right elbow when giving something to elders with the right hand (followed in our land too). Even today many cover their mouth while talking to superiors (both orthodox brahmins and non brahmins).

Expressing gratitude by word and action is culture dependent.
I did NOT have a similar experience to what Sri. R. K. N had.
May be, this reaction was in his time? :fish:
many a time it is difficult to pin whether an acclaimed writer is telling the truth or not.
RKN adds he understood the girl's eruption! It is difficult to talk sweetly to every customer all day, day in day out.
Sujata, the tamil novelist, said that whatever he wrote happened, but to different people at different times. He only judiciously pieced them in his novels.

I did NOT have a similar experience to what Sri. R. K. N had.
May be, this reaction was in his time? :fish:
Yes - telling thanks or sorry should be as part of our day-to-day life. When we are sitting in a corporate meetings , the canteen boy who serves tea/coffee /biscuits - tries to address everybody's needs and tastes. How many of us take an extra step in telling "thanks" to him (I do). Becasuse it is builit in our blood that the duty of canteen boy is to service and he doenn't deserve a thanks for the job done by him. May be if we make a sincere attempt to appreaciate their efforts, the quality of their service to you will certainly improve when they are serving you next time.

Bit I should also admit , the present younger generation is catiching up with this attitude of telling thanks and sorry which is really appreciable.

Venkat K
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