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About Tharpanam - Need Advice Urgently

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My parents passed away few years back.In my family we are three girls and no male members. I heard from my brahmin friends that it is good to do Tharpanam in Gaya for late parents , grand parents and great grand parents.
  1. My question is being a woman, am I allowed to do tharpanam in Gaya.
  2. If yes followed by tharpanam must I do Thila Homam for Pithru Dosha? Must one have Pithru Dosha to do Thila Homam or we can do Thila Homam as I do not know if I have Pithru Dosha
  3. I cannot ask any of the male members like my uncles or cousin brothers to do as they do not believe in all these rituals and also I cannot ask them to do for my parents.

    Please advice me on this.
 
to the best of my knowledge girls/daughters cannot perform tharpan to their parents.

your uncle/cousin brothers are also not empowered.

during mahalayam only they can do

ramani
 
Answer 1 - Being a woman you cannot do tarpanam whatsoever . Hence doing Tarpanam at Gaya is ruled out

Answer 2 - For Pitru Dosha ( identified by a proper astrologer or any other informed person) , the solution is not Thila Homam always . Thila Homam has to be perfomed only in-case of serious problems in the family resulting out of Pitru Dosha which only an astrolger that too by way of finding out through PRASHNAM can tell you. So do not ever perform Thila Homam without proper guidance or advise.

Answer 3 - Since your relaitives do not beleive in this , the best possible solution is - On the annual thithi of your mother and father arrange for a priest who would come to your place - feed him and offer some Vastram and dakshina. Also during Mahalaya Paksham ( 15 days) on ay convenient date between - shasthi and trayodashi offer food to Brahmins along with Dakshina and vastram.

Since you are a daughter beyond this you have limitations as per our shastra's.

However after your marriage you can explore if your future Husband can do shrardha for your parents ( however he should not be having his father) . This looks extremely difficult.

Hhence try to do the things I had mentioned during the annual shrardham of your parents and Mahalaya Paksham .

God willing things would be taken care of .

Regards

Narayan
 

S.V.MOHAN

New member
Dear Madam,

It is happy to know that you are showing interest on this subject. Even most of the boys who lost their parents nowadays do not perform strartham or tharpanam even if they are rich. If the girls are married, their husband can do the ritual even if his father is alive.

The daughters whether married or not can perform tharpanam only on the Grahana days at Alwaye river bank. This is the only thing allowed and so many girls are doing this regularly till date even after crossing 80 year of age. Not many are aware of this.

Any person who is willing to do these rituals from your father's gothram can do it on your behalf.
 
Last edited:

sarma-61

New member
My parents passed away few years back.In my family we are three girls and no male members. I heard from my brahmin friends that it is good to do Tharpanam in Gaya for late parents , grand parents and great grand parents.
  1. My question is being a woman, am I allowed to do tharpanam in Gaya.
  2. If yes followed by tharpanam must I do Thila Homam for Pithru Dosha? Must one have Pithru Dosha to do Thila Homam or we can do Thila Homam as I do not know if I have Pithru Dosha
  3. I cannot ask any of the male members like my uncles or cousin brothers to do as they do not believe in all these rituals and also I cannot ask them to do for my parents.

    Please advice me on this.

spaceshuttle,

I have heard from old people that in more ancient times girls used to be allowed to do the creation of parents if the father had wished a daughter, or even adopted daughter, to be his inheritor. Since this seems to have been discontinued later on, you may now request your husband to do the gayaa shraaddham (not simply or merely "tharpanam") for your parents. If he is not willing then no sin or blame will come upon you.

There is no point in doing "thila homam" unless some good and reliable astrologer has so advised you.

If you follow any of the Shankara mathams like Sringeri or Kanchi, you may obtain a personal audience with the current acharya and follow whatever he advises you.
 
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