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9 Reasons Why Nice Guys Always Get Friendzoned

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prasad1

Active member
Disclaimer: I do not have first hand experience about this.

Why is it that girls always choose the douchebag over the good guy? And you cannot really blame her. When you choose to be the nice guy, you assume the first spot in that dreaded friendzone. Dear nice guys, here’s what you may be doing wrong!
1. You’re a little too available—to the extent that she probably doesn’t even appreciate it anymore. There’s absolutely no chase involved, and that is exactly why she takes you for granted.
2. Being someone’s confidante is one thing, but becoming a part of her girl gang is another. You’re probably wasting time discussing every tiny issue in her life, lending ears to her useless rants when you really should be stepping up and doing something about your feelings.
3. You try too hard to please her. Your life revolves around her approval. If you agree with her on every damn thing just for the sake of it, do whatever she asks you to, you’ve literally signed up to be her doormat for the rest of your life. In your efforts to please her, you’re only showing that you lack a strong personality. Can’t really blame her for thinking of you as a man of no opinions, can you?
4. If you think being unnecessarily nice to her is going to earn you brownie points, you’re badly mistaken. She’d rather be with someone who doesn’t live to impress her or seek her attention. Remember that she doesn’t necessarily want you to be ‘nice’, that’s just what you think works. Be more than a kind person!
5. You give her way too much benefit of doubt. Once she knows you’re totally okay with her being unreasonable, she will start taking advantage of it. That’s natural human tendency.
6. You’re probably too afraid to make a move and quite honestly, nobody likes cowards! No girl wants to date a guy who cannot even speak his mind. And trust us, if you do not make the right move at the right time, it all fizzles out for the girl.
7. The ‘nice guys’ have this annoying habit of giving unsolicited advice, reminding people what’s wrong and what’s right and frankly, a mother is the last thing girls search for in partners. Nobody appreciates moral lectures, to be honest.
8. You get friendzoned because you let girls friendzone you – as simple as that. There’s a difference between being nice and being spineless. If you never object to being put into the friendzone, you’re probably never getting out of it.
9. And here we come to the last and the most important reason why nice guys get friendzoned – because they choose to be boring! You heard that right. Nice guys are never as exciting as other men. Under the constant pressure of earning the label of a ‘nice guy’ they stop being fun! Every girl looks for excitement, thrill and adventure out of a relationship and the nice guy is just the opposite of that. Nobody needs a person who reminds them of their boring, mundane lives!
So, get the hint and start over.
http://www.mensxp.com/relationships...idget&utm_medium=ABtest&utm_campaign=TOInewHP

Not responsible for the results, try at your own risk.
 
There are some boys/men who get treated as coolies by girls. They carry the bags of girls/women, follow them around to satisfy all their whims and wishes, always in

standby awaiting a call for doing small errands for them. They are waiting to be exploited by all girls /women.They also like to be labelled nice.If someone wants to be

exploited who can stop it.

It doe not mean others who are lechers are good.What is the right mix of nice and good.?
 
Prasadji, this is an urban legend from the West. But girls do seem to want guys with spine. (But not too straight a spine!)
 
In india most girls/women fear that they might end up with a bloody nose from a boy friend.

I do not know if their spine is straight.
 

mkrishna100

Active member
There are some boys/men who get treated as coolies by girls. They carry the bags of girls/women, follow them around to satisfy all their whims and wishes, always in

standby awaiting a call for doing small errands for them. They are waiting to be exploited by all girls /women.They also like to be labelled nice.If someone wants to be exploited who can stop it.

It doe not mean others who are lechers are good.What is the right mix of nice and good.?

It should be if someone allows themselves to be exploited who can help them . Your quote perfectly resembles a relative of mine about whom I have mentioned in the other thread . He was taking pride doing errands for various girls and also spending for them only to realize later that none of the Girls even had a thought of marrying him and they all got married to better educated and well earning guys .I wont blame the girls .I would blame such guys for their own miserable condition . As a Human being one must be kind and compassionate to all and have a helping tendency but doing anything in order to seek love , approval , appreciation will end up only in being exploited and you have to blame urself . Forget girls . I have another friend of mine who spends a lot for his friends ( Male freinds ) .He Organizes regular friends get together ( old collage and school friends ) and spends fully himself and everyone comes have a nice time ,eat well , booze well and just run away and when he needs any help no one comes forward to help him and he gets frustrated saying what sort of friends are these guys . I have told him many times that he is the one spending and organizing these get togethers voluntarily and no one is forcing him and if he wants to avoid disappointment then he has to either do these things without expecting any reciprocal help or stop doing these sort of things altogether . He has started to follow my later advice and is in relative peace now .
 
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There are many who are ready made candidates waiting to be exploited by everyone around them.

Many cases they require only some recognition for their services.

I had a friend who would like to call his casual acquaintances home just for a meal.

Later on feel bad that the friend whom he fed is not caring for him..

It takes all sorts to make this world.
 

mkrishna100

Active member
Many cases they require only some recognition for their services.

True and whenever people complian of not being recogzined for their services I tell them the following Zen stoy of Osho .

Once a Warrior ( he is rich now ) comes back to his Old Zen Monastry to pay respects to his Old Zen master and gives him a bag of 1000 gold coins to the master ( his intention is that the master will use that money to repair the old monastry and make it look more bright and fresh) . The master just takes the bag and and keeps by his side and keeps talking some other things . This guy reminds the master of that bag and the master says "I know" and continues to talk about other things . Again he reminds the master of the same and the master says "I know it "and keeps talking .This chap gets bit frustrated and says "Master it is not an ordinary bag .It has 1000 Gold Coins and shouts again 1000 gold coins " . The master replies "So what . What do you expect me to say " and this chap says "I at least expect a thanks if not a full appreciation " and on hearing this the master shouts loudly saying " You fool . You are the one who must thank me for I gave u an opprtunity to show respects to me and to the Institution .I could have refused your offering and insulted you but by choosing to accept it have honoured you and you are the one who must thank me and not the other way "

Zen masters have their own logic and so I always pass on this story to others when they feel dejected that the people whom they helped , fed , cared for did not even thank them or reciprocate .I also use this story for my own self reflection when I feel that way at times .
 

renuka

Well-known member
Answers in blue

Disclaimer: I do not have first hand experience about this.

Why is it that girls always choose the douchebag over the good guy? And you cannot really blame her. When you choose to be the nice guy, you assume the first spot in that dreaded friendzone. Dear nice guys, here’s what you may be doing wrong!
1. You’re a little too available—to the extent that she probably doesn’t even appreciate it anymore. There’s absolutely no chase involved, and that is exactly why she takes you for granted.


True...girls like some amount of cat and mouse games too.


2. Being someone’s confidante is one thing, but becoming a part of her girl gang is another. You’re probably wasting time discussing every tiny issue in her life, lending ears to her useless rants when you really should be stepping up and doing something about your feelings.

Yup...true..we call these guys..estrogenic males ...they can listen to all your problems..but this also gives an impression that testosterone is lacking!

3. You try too hard to please her. Your life revolves around her approval. If you agree with her on every damn thing just for the sake of it, do whatever she asks you to, you’ve literally signed up to be her doormat for the rest of your life. In your efforts to please her, you’re only showing that you lack a strong personality. Can’t really blame her for thinking of you as a man of no opinions, can you?

100% true..some loser type of guys try to be fake and impress girls...they lack the good looks of bad boys but try to fake having a good heart...


4. If you think being unnecessarily nice to her is going to earn you brownie points, you’re badly mistaken. She’d rather be with someone who doesn’t live to impress her or seek her attention. Remember that she doesn’t necessarily want you to be ‘nice’, that’s just what you think works. Be more than a kind person!

True..girls want a man who has different stripes..who wants boring males!


5. You give her way too much benefit of doubt. Once she knows you’re totally okay with her being unreasonable, she will start taking advantage of it. That’s natural human tendency.

True...as I said..girls love the cat and mouse game.


6. You’re probably too afraid to make a move and quite honestly, nobody likes cowards! No girl wants to date a guy who cannot even speak his mind. And trust us, if you do not make the right move at the right time, it all fizzles out for the girl.

Yes...a man should not even be afraid of his mother!

7. The ‘nice guys’ have this annoying habit of giving unsolicited advice, reminding people what’s wrong and what’s right and frankly, a mother is the last thing girls search for in partners. Nobody appreciates moral lectures, to be honest.


Hey this sounds like a forum member!LOL


8. You get friendzoned because you let girls friendzone you – as simple as that. There’s a difference between being nice and being spineless. If you never object to being put into the friendzone, you’re probably never getting out of it.

Yes...some are so spineless that you doubt if they are mammals.


9. And here we come to the last and the most important reason why nice guys get friendzoned – because they choose to be boring! You heard that right. Nice guys are never as exciting as other men. Under the constant pressure of earning the label of a ‘nice guy’ they stop being fun! Every girl looks for excitement, thrill and adventure out of a relationship and the nice guy is just the opposite of that. Nobody needs a person who reminds them of their boring, mundane lives!
So, get the hint and start over.



True...a man needs to give girls an adrenaline rush.
http://www.mensxp.com/relationships...idget&utm_medium=ABtest&utm_campaign=TOInewHP

Not responsible for the results, try at your own risk.
 
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