20 Reasons It's Hard Dating an Indian Man

[prasad1]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp Email Share Link

Indian men are a unique breed. Yes, there are several clichés you get to hear about Indian men, and though most of them are true, you can never quite understand them fully. Dating Indian men, on the other hand, is a whole different story. Tricky and dangerous at the same time, here are 20 things you must know about dating an Indian man.

1. The looks: When it comes to Indian men, it is hard to differentiate between a glance and a venereal stare. What's more, their eyes are talented enough to scan a female body within microseconds. Inherently faulty eyeballs?

2. The wooing: Can someone please correct the definition of wooing for these men? Just for the record, wooing does not involve cat-calling, ‘that’ creepy smile or talking in a way that makes it so obvious that our breasts are all that's on your mind!

3. The not-to-smooth moves: We wish Indian men would buy themselves Dating for Dummies already! Keeping us waiting at a bus/metro stop, bringing their friends along for support, ordering for us and going dutch definitely don't make them dating material. And just because we went on a date, doesn’t mean we've devoted our lives to being subservient to your feelings and choices!

4. The unrealistic expectations: Yes, we went on a date with you. Yes, we enjoyed your company. No, it is not all right to presume that we will sleep with you, marry you and produce offspring for you.

5. False notions: Men tend to generalise women. We have a tattoo, enjoy a drink or two and hang out with your friends, so we must definitely be ‘easy,’ right? Honestly, we don’t know where you got your education, but you need to go back for some common sense.

6. The talks: "It is not a relationship baby, it’s ‘so’ much more than that." This one is for the oversmart Indian men. Sure, why don’t you keep believing that we women are stupid enough to believe all the incessant banter that comes out of your mouth?

7. The 'prince' treatment: Your parents treat you like a prince. Well, guess what. You are not even close!

8. His mother: Nothing and no one ever supercedes the Indian mother. We might be the prettiest, talented, richest, kindest people on the planet but we have to be approved by ‘mumma’ first!

9. The smell: Indian men think that body odour is acceptable. Hence, they do a great job at slaying everything in their wake. If we placed smelly Indian men in a war zone, the enemy would automatically surrender before they die from the toxic fumes.

10. The clothing: It is a given fact that Indian men are among the laziest creatures on the planet. Wearing the same clothes day after day gives is plain disgusting. To add to our misery, most of them also recycle their underwear by wearing them inside out. Puke face.

11. The spitting and pissing syndrome: We've seen men stop their cars in the middle of rush hour traffic, open their fly, pull out their appendage and piss on the road in full public view. Honestly, are they expecting a standing ovation?

12. Etiquette: Opening doors, dropping us home, waiting till we're dressed... are things Indian men are still to learn. And just so you know, you'd be foolish to expect a 'Please' or 'Thank You.'

13. Sex: Coming from the land of Kama Sutra, we are ashamed to admit that Indian men know nothing about the female body, let alone are aware of what to do in bed. Unfortunately for them, we are not porn stars and that's not how we like to have sex!

14. Anti-friends: Why are they always scared of meeting our friends? Is it insecurity, ego issues or an inferiority complex? Be a man and face the fact that we have a life and it's okay to be involved in it.

15. The possessiveness: Do not meet your friends, do not go that place, do not work in that office, do not eat that. Who the heck do they think they are? We really don't need two dads.

16. His caste: You're both not the same caste, so it's not working out? Sure! So why doesn’t he quit breathing the same air too? What, are we living in the 1800s?

17. His background: Just because his father can afford a luxury car doesn’t give him the right to have any girl that catches his fancy.

18. Other options: They are with you, but they still have the right to ogle at women passing by. Venereal stares are forgivable according to Indian men. So are sexual innuendos. Unless they are acted upon. Pfft!

19. The ego: Studies have shown that larger the ego, smaller the appendage. In fact, studies also show that men who honk a lot are sexually frustrated beings. Now you know.

20. Arranged marriages: You will never be the one he marries because after all mommy insists on an arrange marriage for her prince. Love, feelings, freedom of choice and thought really don’t matter!

Written by Pakhee Malhotra

Reasons It's Hard Dating an Indian Man | Relationships

his article talks about 20 things you must know about dating an Indian man.

www.idiva.com

 

[Mani_Chennai]

Dating is a recent phenomenon. When parent borrow money and educate the boys, due to “Community first, individual next” philosophy produces a guilt feeling in most Indians. It is also true that if the family had many girls, it becomes imperative and obligatory for the boys to bear the marital expenses of the sisters. Parents due to functional illiteracy prevent girls gaining education (too expensive, and also that money is needed for your marriage”); parents remain poor when all the children go out of the house and all social, economic and cultural impediments prevent simple dating. Added to this is family and religious rituals add another Y” layer of troubles. Also, when mother’s get an extra “Y” chromosome when a boy is conceived makes them feel helpless due to poor education, in-law troubles, vanity and all other mental issues. The boys inherit these problems too.
In the West you work for your studies, you are your own, yet there too mothers have the same “Y” chromosome syndrome. As to boys gazing on women, it is a biological impetus – will she be a good mother, will produce beautiful child, will be able to breast breed and so on. No cultural shaming will change these inherent biological selection process and even animals have the same problem – of strength, neatness etc. Due the short height of the girls by nature, men have a little higher height, the gaze of the men almost always fall at the chest of the girls. This is a biological reality and no matter how many women object, it is the nature’s fault.
These statements are not for justifying the allegations, rather to make understanding the hidden biological forces that shape the men’s view. Beauty is extraordinary if both sides of the body has symmetry – a very rare thing as the egg when fertilized produces two mirror parts and join them, thus always subject to statistical error.
So, one side of the body may look beautiful and the other side may be less. Every man and women can see this in a mirror when naked. There is nothing wrong but our perceptions are biased based on media and what others think. So, almost all men and women have self image problems – what others will think! Even in the West the same thing is observed. It takes about 2 years for couples to accept each other as they are, and the family does not help in this adjustments. So, our biases will take a long time to vanish when both financially and emotionally we become independent and yet love to be a part of a full functional family.
Most troubles start with women with mental stress as a bride and then as a mother and then as a mother-in-law. Before marriage all the members of the family need Psychiatric help (does not mean we have mental problems rather have to flush out what we expect in a family and how to adjust). Are we ready for it? Did I take care of the problems – most of them.
Before marriage I took promise both from my mother and wife that they are two eyes to me and they need to look at life with one gaze and should tell me their problems and not fight with each other. They promised and then only I got married.
For example, my mother would say things in a statistically complementary ways – why are you standing as a tree? Which as a truth function will be “ Please sit down, if you stand your legs will hurt”. Once I explain the logic to my wife and asked her to restate positively as a question such as” Amma, how nice of you that you do not want me have leg pain and sit down”, my mother responded “that is what I was saying”.
My observation is in general, Indians use negative logic to express their way, but if you take the complement (1- Negative = Positive) , thinks start make sense. I taught my wife, if you want Saambar today, ask my mother, Amma to day you want your favorite Sambhar Or Buttermilk Kozhambu, as per Psychology the first one will be selected”, my wife followed this routine and they were good buddies.

 

[sravna]

I am happy indians are bad at dating. Let them excel in right things which they will and in fact they do.

 

[Mani_Chennai]

I was told by an Indian Bachelor that it is hard to date because you meet a stranger and start a talk. What is the common topic. OK. it looks like it will rain. But if it is a bright day, the girl will thin that you are cuckoo. If it cloudy, for her it is obvious that it might rain. You can not ask, Miss. may I know your name? It is none of your business will be the reply. Do parents train the girls to date and find some how the right guy? Girls too have problems. Movies, Cricket.. all boring. You can not ask, Miss. You look nice. How old are you? You can expect on of the raised chappal. All right, can we find a date in a temple? As soon as you talk, thousand people will neck you to hear what you say! Concerts- carnatic? Oh my GOD what is the varnam? If you don't know get out. shh.. keep quite. Tell me uncle is there a dating training school, not on internet. I gave up.

So, ladies who have dated should list dos and don't and then you see how many (useless ) Romeos germinate like a virus. I just told him, I did not have the problem, because my sister got me married and now I am cursing her. Come to think of it, honest people can find the compatibility issues - how much for alangkaram - sari, make up, flowers per day? Is going to beach necessary and should that include all the relatives? .. My GOD, India is still India so that boys can demand hefty dowries or parents want to be free loaders on their earning daughters.

I wish I have dated, but never told my wife to be safe!

 

[prasad1]

Dating to a majority of Tamilians (orthodox) is as alien as seeing a real-life ET.
They see it on TV and in movies but do not see it in their life.
But in North India and metro cities it is pretty common. My original post was for Indians outside of India.