Why most members do not show their real Photo in their profile here ?

[Raji Ram]

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......... But by praising only the married women, and ignoring the widowed women, we do insult the widows. Let us not kid ourselves.
Accepting the mistake is the first step in rehabilitation. Denial is the usual cause of failure.

You said it! :thumb:

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear Tmt RR

Ref your post # 98 - so what is the yardstick - or would you rather use that
famous " inch-tape " of yours ?

Inch tapes, I know you use [ instead of horoscopes ] for match-making, and that is
pretty-much an art in itself. I am sure your success rate is very high and couples stay
married i.e., "Until Inches Do Them Apart".

So, how would you vilify / justify a Maharani letting go of her man ?
[ No, I don't mean " Villian / Villee " of the Tamil cinema context ]

Yay Yem

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear Prasad Ji

Ref your post # 99 - I fully agree with you. Even on the professional / official front a widow [or
divorcee ] is perceived as some kind of ' freely available ' stuff to be exploited.

You are right again - the 'denial' mode will get us nowhere near addressing the issue.

Yay Yem

 

[prasad1]

Dear Prasad Ji

Ref your post # 99 - I fully agree with you. Even on the professional / official front a widow [or
divorcee ] is perceived as some kind of ' freely available ' stuff to be exploited.

You are right again - the 'denial' mode will get us nowhere near addressing the issue.

Yay Yem

Thank you

 

[sangom]

Dear Sir,


I have only one answer and one question for you:

The Answer: Glorification leads to Pride and Pride leads to Prejudice.

The Question: What ever you have mentioned in your post..about the Status of a Sumangali....why can't everything you mentioned be conferred upon a Amangali too?

For example: Why not let an Amangali represent Lakshmi and we tell her "Vaa Maa Vaa Maa"?
Only then its fair an square to anyone.
It is so obvious it is some divide and rule man made policy!LOL

I am reminded of the words of Thirumuruga Kripananda Variar. When Indira Gandhi became Prime Minister, that a woman who could not keep her own house as "mangaLam" could not to be expected to bring "mangaLam" (prosperity) to the country!

This type of sentiment also goes back deep into our hindu cultural and religious roots. A woman is simply a possession (chattel) of the man called "jangama aasti" (movable asset). She was a reproducing machine and was valued for her potential in giving birth to male offsprings who alone counted in the system of patrilineal society such as that of most of the hindus. Our ancient inheritance laws also confirm such an assessment. Till 2005 A.D. the daughters could not claim equal rights as sons have, on ancestral properties.

Therefore, it is even less than ten years since this important legal step was taken. But the mindset of any society cannot be changed by legislation/s. It requires dedicated work on all relevant fronts and yet, we have to allow enough time, may be a century or more, for the social mindset to change. Till such a complete social change occurs, women will be well-advised to bear with some such practices. It may not be out of place to bear in mind that "sumangalee" women play a key role in perpetuating this prejudice against widows. People may not now know that barren women and women with only one child (oRRai malaDu, as they were called, once upon a time) as also women whose first born male child did not survive, were all debarred in those days from many of the ladies' rites in seemantham and other functions.

 

[prasad1]

Sangom sir, Thanks for post#105.
You are right, we must force this attitude change.