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Well Known Rituals / Little Known Reasons / Would Like to Know Solutions

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Hello Every One,
I am pleased to introduce myself. Air Commodore Ramakrishna Iyer Seshan (Retd.) . The retired comes after the name and not after the Rank, as we are told that an Air Force Officer never retires!
I am 77, happily married to Girija Seshan, an accomplished singer as well as an accomplished Home Maker. A daughter, Sujata Sahu, an IT professional who chucked her profession to establish an NGO called 17000 ft. Foundation, dedicated to improving the educational standards in the Ladakh region, along with her husband Sandeep Sahu.
Younger to her is our son S. Ramakrishnan (aka Anil/SR/Ramki), currently Country Head, Retail Banking, HSBC. Stationed at Mumbai, enjoiying his work and life with wife Reena and two adorable dogs Josh and Jalwa.

The thread I have in mind is about finding clarifications to various doubts that occur to us during our preparations prior to celebrating / attending a function. And they are abundant in No.!

To start with, I have a nephew,barely 15 years old, whose Upanayanam is to be held asap, because he lost his mother,(49), a few months ago and the first year ritual HAS to be performed by him (or so it is said). He is the only son, but has an elder sister. His father is abroad and has no no siblings with the same Gotram. So who is to administer the Brahma Sutram? Is it mandatory the son performs all the ceremonies after the death of the mother, even though in this case, the boy's father is alive? If not can the Upanayanam be post poned? Is the rule that the Upanayanam is normally held on odd age only, relaxable?

Will be grateful for some clarifications.
Thanks to all of you who have cared to read this post and regards to all of you.
Seshan R I


Active member
There is no rule that upanayanam must be done only in odd age. It can be done at any time. only this son must do all the ceremonies after upanayanam. Even his father is living along with him the son only must do all the ceremonies. upanayanam should not be postponed.

No siblings in father" side. Then from mother"s side anybody can do.
The rule that "son must do all the rites of the deceased mother" is also not an iron rule. Upanayanam of the son is also not an inescapable condition, because there is something known as "aapaddharma" and a boy can be given upanayanam in a short time just for performing those rites of mother. Otherwise (if the vaadhyaar does not agree with this) some brahmin may do all those rites, after getting the son's permission by accepting a bunch of darbhai grass from the son, accompanied by mantras signifying such authorization, chanted by the vaadhyaar. It all depends on whether the concerned vaadhyar is cooperative. Usually, a higher "dakshinai" should do the trick!


the tambram rituals generally based on sastras as well OOURU/HOME SAMPRADAYAMS......many rituals different from one vedam/rishi

/gothram etc....generally more tradition than a rule.....i served and retired from INDIAN ARMY....like in army .....many rules are

regimental based.....like wise we have to follow ONLY ONE RULE....its hard to find....like avani avittam....we have 3 different

days for 3 different vedams......i think shri KGOPALAN SIR can give more authority on this...
Thanks to all those who have responded to my requests. Would like to add one more input from a well read 'Sastrigal'. Accoridng to him the materna grandparents of the boy have got equal, if not more, rights to administer the thread ceremony of their 'Dauhitran'. This ties in with the views expressed by Mr.kgopalan, too. For the present we can go with that view. That done, the commonly held view that some one from the same Gotram only should do the ceremony, is not valid? If available yes, but not mandatory?
In my opinion, several such 'beliefs' need to be discussed, with specific focus on thir origin and probably the purpose behind such belief.
I am not very sure I should open the Pandora's box now, especially when I am raw, in this group. But, especially the rigid rules concerning the seeing of / visit to , any one in the mourning period after their personal loss of their family member, require a revisit, in my opinion. I have a host of such beliefs, grilled in to me. Any takers? Regards and thanks once again. Seshan
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