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Vaishnavaite Post Death Ceremony

Sir,
Namaskarams.
Recently my Mother in law passed away(we are Vadagalai Iyengar.). she is a widow. I am her son in law. For the 12th day function,can I sit,(Vishnu, Viswa deva,Pitru,pretha.)in any of these. If yes, Which is better. What is the pariharam?.
2. My eldest daughter in law is in the family way?.Is it advisable for me,to occupy the above?. Will this affect ?
Please advise.
 

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