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Arranged? Assisted? Love? Marriages are coming in many forms these days, each with its own challenges and rewards
By Rutvij Holay
As far back as I can trace my ancestry, everyone in my family, up till my own parents, has had an arranged marriage. Now, however, I am seeing my cousins having Western-style love marriages in ever-increasing numbers. This is not in my family alone—many school-age Hindus nowadays have boyfriends or girlfriends, and almost everyone has a crush of some sort.
Of course, none of this is happening without backlash from the older generation. Parents, grandparents, and even some sons and daughters fear that due to the increase in casual dating—often with no intention of forming a long-term relationship—arranged marriages, a key part of our culture, are gradually disappearing.
Arranged marriages aren’t necessarily a bad custom. In a culture where the word for divorce is nonexistent at best and a made-up or foreign loanword at worst, divorces are now on the rise. At the same time, however, many youth argue back that love marriages have always been a part of our culture, citing the popular love tale of Radha and Krishna as an example.
There are two questions we must answer. One, are love marriages good for society? Two, what is the future of marriage among Hindu youth? Especially outside of India, such as in the United States, it is crucial that we answer the latter question.
To find the answer, we will start with the eight types of marriages in Vedic India. These can be classified broadly into three types: arranged marriages, crimes and gandharva vivaha. Arranged marriages can broadly be classified as “good” (though this was never unanimously agreed upon), with the best of those being known as Brahma vivaha, meaning literally, “divine marriage.” In a Brahma vivaha, which may be done by any varna, consent is needed from both families, including the boy and girl, before proceeding. More notably, it doesn’t matter who finds the spouse, even if the couple does it themselves. As long as the families are actively and approvingly involved in the process, the marriage may be considered Brahma vivaha.
www.hinduismtoday.com
By Rutvij Holay
As far back as I can trace my ancestry, everyone in my family, up till my own parents, has had an arranged marriage. Now, however, I am seeing my cousins having Western-style love marriages in ever-increasing numbers. This is not in my family alone—many school-age Hindus nowadays have boyfriends or girlfriends, and almost everyone has a crush of some sort.
Of course, none of this is happening without backlash from the older generation. Parents, grandparents, and even some sons and daughters fear that due to the increase in casual dating—often with no intention of forming a long-term relationship—arranged marriages, a key part of our culture, are gradually disappearing.
Arranged marriages aren’t necessarily a bad custom. In a culture where the word for divorce is nonexistent at best and a made-up or foreign loanword at worst, divorces are now on the rise. At the same time, however, many youth argue back that love marriages have always been a part of our culture, citing the popular love tale of Radha and Krishna as an example.
There are two questions we must answer. One, are love marriages good for society? Two, what is the future of marriage among Hindu youth? Especially outside of India, such as in the United States, it is crucial that we answer the latter question.
To find the answer, we will start with the eight types of marriages in Vedic India. These can be classified broadly into three types: arranged marriages, crimes and gandharva vivaha. Arranged marriages can broadly be classified as “good” (though this was never unanimously agreed upon), with the best of those being known as Brahma vivaha, meaning literally, “divine marriage.” In a Brahma vivaha, which may be done by any varna, consent is needed from both families, including the boy and girl, before proceeding. More notably, it doesn’t matter who finds the spouse, even if the couple does it themselves. As long as the families are actively and approvingly involved in the process, the marriage may be considered Brahma vivaha.
The Future of Hindu Matchmaking - Hinduism Today
Arranged? Assisted? Love? Marriages are coming in many forms these days, each with its own challenges and rewards By Rutvij Holay As far back as I can
www.hinduismtoday.com
