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The Future of Hindu Matchmaking

prasad1

Active member

Arranged? Assisted? Love? Marriages are coming in many forms these days, each with its own challenges and rewards​


As far back as I can trace my ancestry, everyone in my family, up till my own parents, has had an arranged marriage. Now, however, I am seeing my cousins having Western-style love marriages in ever-increasing numbers. This is not in my family alone—many school-age Hindus nowadays have boyfriends or girlfriends, and almost everyone has a crush of some sort.

Of course, none of this is happening without backlash from the older generation. Parents, grandparents, and even some sons and daughters fear that due to the increase in casual dating—often with no intention of forming a long-term relationship—arranged marriages, a key part of our culture, are gradually disappearing.

Arranged marriages aren’t necessarily a bad custom. In a culture where the word for divorce is nonexistent at best and a made-up or foreign loanword at worst, divorces are now on the rise. At the same time, however, many youth argue back that love marriages have always been a part of our culture, citing the popular love tale of Radha and Krishna as an example.

There are two questions we must answer. One, are love marriages good for society? Two, what is the future of marriage among Hindu youth? Especially outside of India, such as in the United States, it is crucial that we answer the latter question.

 

praveen

Life is a dream
Staff member
One, are love marriages good for society?

First comes the family and as an extension of the family, society comes next. Often people forego family for society and this can harbor a lot of negative feelings.


Two, what is the future of marriage among Hindu youth?

Be flexible and open. The modern youth is confused. They cannot move one step forward nor one step backward. Rather than imposing one path, let them decide what they want to do.
 

renuka

Well-known member

Arranged? Assisted? Love? Marriages are coming in many forms these days, each with its own challenges and rewards​


As far back as I can trace my ancestry, everyone in my family, up till my own parents, has had an arranged marriage. Now, however, I am seeing my cousins having Western-style love marriages in ever-increasing numbers. This is not in my family alone—many school-age Hindus nowadays have boyfriends or girlfriends, and almost everyone has a crush of some sort.

Of course, none of this is happening without backlash from the older generation. Parents, grandparents, and even some sons and daughters fear that due to the increase in casual dating—often with no intention of forming a long-term relationship—arranged marriages, a key part of our culture, are gradually disappearing.

Arranged marriages aren’t necessarily a bad custom. In a culture where the word for divorce is nonexistent at best and a made-up or foreign loanword at worst, divorces are now on the rise. At the same time, however, many youth argue back that love marriages have always been a part of our culture, citing the popular love tale of Radha and Krishna as an example.

There are two questions we must answer. One, are love marriages good for society? Two, what is the future of marriage among Hindu youth? Especially outside of India, such as in the United States, it is crucial that we answer the latter question.

Are love marriages good for society?

1) Very few cultures still adhere to arranged marriages.
The Indian subcontinent( India,Pakistan, Bangladesh region).
Nepal, Sri lanka.

Middle East.
Some tribes in Africa.

The rest of the world is mostly love marriage.
So it depends on the culture.
It works for some cultures but it doesnt work as well in the Indian subcontinent because parents tend to interfere.

The Indian parent has a high degree of Mamaiva( attachement of mine and thine).
They mostly are not able to retire from possesiveness.

So is love marriage good for India?
Well, there is usually not an issue with love but its what happens after marriage when inlaws give trouble that worsens the scenario.

So for India, success rate is higher in arranged marriages.

Future of marriage of Hindu youths outside India?
Depends which country.

USA youth are mostly first generation, so still unsure and sort of easily influenced by a different culture of USA.

In countries like Malaysia, Singapore, Hindus here are not 1st generation.
Its been generations and generations.

So well established in local and own Tamil Hindu culture.
Also Msia and Spore are Asian countries so its not much different from overall Indian values.

Out here many Hindus have arranged marriages.
Love marriages are also there may be more than arranged marriages... parents at times interfere a bit but not as much as India.

Success rate of arranged and love marriages in Msia,Spore is about the same because parents usually dont bother their kids as much.
 
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