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Sonia , Laloo Jokes...

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Laloo and Sonia Gandhi Vs a saint and a school boy
Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a school boy were travelling by a private plane.
Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here."
Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump."
The school boy said, "Don't worry! There are still two parachutes left with us! The most intelligent person, Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag!"
At a bar in New York,

The man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." .

The man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."

The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"

Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.

The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with
Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."

Laloo was
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]very surprised. "You Japanese are very incipient, " he stated "Give me [/FONT]three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar "
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.

A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
Sardar answered "" No I am Banta Singh"

Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered " No No Me ! Banta Singh"

Third one came and asked the same
question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place.

While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach.

He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?". The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing.

The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said "Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here"
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.

So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"

The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"

Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?"

First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"

The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
[h=3]Laloo Prasad and Bill Gates[/h]
The following is the conversation between Laloo Prasad Yadav and Bill Gates.

Gates: Hi! You must have heard of Windows?

Laloo: Oh yes! Most of our government offices have single window clearance concept.

Gates: At home have you installed Windows?

Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burglaries in our house.

Gates (Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?

Laloo: Operation? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates (Sweating): Hope the Internet is being used a lot in India.

Lallo: Oh yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Rabari yadhav wanted lalloo to become proficient in english. She thought the american president bill clinton was the best person to teach lalloo. So lalloo went to the white house.
After one month, rabari wanted to check how lalloo has fared and made an isd call to bill clinton. "me, billu boltha hum, kaun hai udar" was the response from the other end.
In an Exam Hall Lalloo was asked to write a short notes about Gandhi Jeyanthi...He replied thus...

Gandhi was a Great man. he headed Independence movement in India. But I don't know who is jeyanthi and in what way she is connected to Gandhi..
Everybody knows that Laloo is having the largest no of children among all politicians in India... Supposing if all the Deliveries to Madam Rabri were Twince then what would be the reaction of Laloo in " Press Meet" an imagination....

Soon after Rabri's First Delivery Reporters asked LaLoo... : sir Congratulations. Your wife delivered 2 children...

Laloo : I am Very Happy.I am going to name them Tin and Martin.

again after 2 years Rabri delivered 2 children in that delivery also.

Reporters asked : Laloo ji this time also Madam delivered 2 Children.

Laloo : S I am also happy. I am going to call them as Peter and Repeater.

After 2 years the same thing happened. Rabri again gave birth to 2 children.

This time Laloo named them as Max and Climax.

Again 4th delivery. The very same thing repeated.

This time Laloo said...... I am going to name them as Tired and Retired.
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Lalloo Yadav
with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying
to reach the top of it with his yardstick. Seeing Lolloo’s ignorance, the American
wrenches the pole
out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the
yardstick, and says,
"There! 10 feet long."
Lalloo grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American! I don't care how long
it is! I want to know how high it is!"

An English guy is driving with a Sardar guy as his passenger,
when he decides to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal
may not be working. He asks Sardar if he doesn't mind stepping
out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. Saradarjiv
steps out and stands in front of the car.
The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it
To which Sardarji responds, "Yes, it's working....No,
it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

A Sardarji saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his
collar, he stopped him and said, "Excuse me, but why are you wearing your
shirt backwards?"
The priest laughed, "Because, my son, I am a Father!"
Sardarji scratched his head. "But I am a father too, and I
don't wear my shirt backwards!"
Again the priest laughed. "But I am a Father of thousands!"
To which Sardarji replied, "Well then you should wear your shorts backwards!"

Q: How many sardarji does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: 3. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to
spin the chair.
A2: 100001. One to hold the bulb and the other 100000 to spin the house.

Q: What do you do if a Sardarji throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

Q: What do you do if a Sardarji throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.

Did you hear about the Sardarji Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea
when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave.

When God passed out brains,
I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.

When God passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.

When God passed out ears,
I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.

When God passed out legs,
I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.

When God passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.

When God passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.

God am I a mess?


Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator : "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PATNA AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator : "JUST A MINUTE,SIR..."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime,
Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags.

"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL".

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling.
Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back
of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.

GUESS THE CAPTION !! Laloo, third from left !

In our office there was one General Manager called VR Iyengar. Once he visited tirupur regarding business development. While shaking hands with the Mill owner he said VR Iyengar and that person replied as We are gounders. During the year computer was introduced he spoke to one branch manager asking whether he has installed antivirus he has replied that he has gone to the dr. for viral fever and assured that the virus has not spred to the system.
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