Some Thoughts on Birthdays Etc

[P.J.]

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Some Thoughts on Birthdays Etc

Yesterday evening my youngest Grandson lost a tooth as it is normal for his age!!

He was expecting Tooth Fairy to come during the night and give him some coins and take away his tooth which was kept under his pillow!!

Indeed, Tooth Fairy did not disappoint him; he got a bunch of coins in a zip lock cover with a sweet covering letter!!!

Up to a certain age Kids believe in these Fairy Tales, like believing in Santa during Christmas Time. There is charm in these types of imaginations for Kids.

We always celebrate our grandchildren birthday with Birthday Treasure Hunt, (like keeping some gifts in different places in home with a clue to find each one) and the whole day is celebrated by him with his very close friends in some amusement park, etc

After all it is his Birthday, and we feel it is just right for him to spend time with his school mates!! We also make it a point to share cakes with his school mates either on that day or on the next day!!

Whenever we are in India on any Birthday, we also make Kids to spend time in an orphanage and share food with them; also donate useful things for the orphanage.

Our daughter also does the same thing when celebrating her children’s birthday in UK.

These are very common among Indians moved over to Europe, US/Australia , Canada and other Western Countries, but I do not know much about how Indians Celebrate their kids birthdays in Singapore/Malaysia/ and other countries.

Very rarely I have seen this type of celebration in India, they normally invite lot of Guests, spend lot of money on Food, Homam, or going to Temple and Archana Etc.

Every culture has different way of spending any occasion, and parents do what is best for them and their Kids, no argument about that.

 

[sangom]

Some Thoughts on Birthdays Etc



Every culture has different way of spending any occasion, and parents do what is best for them and their Kids, no argument about that.

If "Every culture has different way of spending any occasion, and parents do what is best for them and their Kids, no argument about that." why should you unnecessarily bother to advertise your western imitation as some matter of pride and approbation? Be true to your conscience at least.

 

[renuka]

Some Thoughts on Birthdays Etc

Yesterday evening my youngest Grandson lost a tooth as it is normal for his age!!

He was expecting Tooth Fairy to come during the night and give him some coins and take away his tooth which was kept under his pillow!!

Indeed, Tooth Fairy did not disappoint him; he got a bunch of coins in a zip lock cover with a sweet covering letter!!!

Up to a certain age Kids believe in these Fairy Tales, like believing in Santa during Christmas Time. There is charm in these types of imaginations for Kids.

We always celebrate our grandchildren birthday with Birthday Treasure Hunt, (like keeping some gifts in different places in home with a clue to find each one) and the whole day is celebrated by him with his very close friends in some amusement park, etc

After all it is his Birthday, and we feel it is just right for him to spend time with his school mates!! We also make it a point to share cakes with his school mates either on that day or on the next day!!

Whenever we are in India on any Birthday, we also make Kids to spend time in an orphanage and share food with them; also donate useful things for the orphanage.

Our daughter also does the same thing when celebrating her children’s birthday in UK.

These are very common among Indians moved over to Europe, US/Australia , Canada and other Western Countries, but I do not know much about how Indians Celebrate their kids birthdays in Singapore/Malaysia/ and other countries.

Very rarely I have seen this type of celebration in India, they normally invite lot of Guests, spend lot of money on Food, Homam, or going to Temple and Archana Etc.

Every culture has different way of spending any occasion, and parents do what is best for them and their Kids, no argument about that.

Dear PJ sir,

Nice to read what you wrote..out here no one believes in the Tooth Fairy.
Tooth/Teeth just fall..thats all.

Coming to B'days.

Many people out here celebrate B'days grandly too but for me I always keep it simple cos I can't stand crowd.

So I usually just call my parents and in laws and celebrate a small time Bday for my son.

Then as a child grows he wants to spend Bday with their friends too.

Now coming to doing charity/donations at orphanages on the children's Bday..I somehow do not like the idea.

Most people give orphans donation only on special occasions like children's B'day with an ulterior motive of hoping to reap some 'Punya'.

Some make a big show of dressing up their kids so well for the day to give hand outs to orphans.

Just tell me?? How will an orphan feel?

Surely the young hearts would be wishing they also had a family, lavishness etc.

So why hurt young hearts by this display of show?

So it is better to give donations on other days of no special significance so that orphans get to enjoy and at the same time the donor would not be thinking too much of Punya or keep parading their over dressed child on their B'day.

Some of us here like my parents sometimes have bhajans at home on normal days of no special significance and call children from orphanages to join the bhajan and also enjoy a nice meal and get gifts.

 

[Raji Ram]

There is a VEda pAtasAlA in Palghat and my mom gives new sets of dresses to all the kids studying there, the teachers and

the cook mAma and mAmi, just before Diwali. The smiles on the faces of the kids is sure to move our hearts. Most of them

have come from very poor brahmin families who can't have even two square meals per day! Our family gives funds for one

full day meal to the kids on special days. Just the payment in the office for the arrangement of special meal with vadai + payasam.

 

[P.J.]

renukaji



Please read my post again, It is not lavish spending with orphanage kids, we share a simple evening dinner with the kids, and we get many useful things for them. Nowhere i mentioned we spend lavishly , we just share food with them.

We also give donations to orphanage on other occasions also it is not only during birthdays we do it.Even when we are are not in India, on occasions we send some donations to that orphanage.

We rarely we are in India to celebrate kids B day, but when it happens, we make it a point to spend time and share with them a simple food.

The purpose of my post is to share how many Indians in US/UK celebrate their kids birthdays compared to India.


Here Kids spend time with their friends , and that is most important.

None of us think of earning puniyam while doing this.

 

[renuka]

renukaji



Please read my post again, It is not lavish spending with orphanage kids, we share a simple evening dinner with the kids, and we get many useful things for them. Nowhere i mentioned we spend lavishly , we just share food with them.

We also give donations to orphanage on other occasions also it is not only during birthdays we do it.Even when we are are not in India, on occasions we send some donations to that orphanage.

We rarely we are in India to celebrate kids B day, but when it happens, we make it a point to spend time and share with them a simple food.

The purpose of my post is to share how many Indians in US/UK celebrate their kids birthdays compared to India.


Here Kids spend time with their friends , and that is most important.

None of us think of earning puniyam while doing this.

Dear PJ sir,

I think you misunderstood my post.

In the OP you were asking how Bdays celebrated in Msia/Singapore etc.

So what I wrote was my perception about the Msian scenario.

I know people who openly say they do charity to orphans on the children's bday cos they want Punyam...nothing really surprising too cos we find Phala Shurti is almost every religious text..we have been trained to expect rewards..so this sort of thinking is nothing new for some people and in a way the act of expecting could even escalate to corruption.

So what I wrote was based on the scenario here and not commenting on what you practice in India.

For example I do not even know what an Ayush Homa is cos I have never done since I have been brought up in a non ritualistic atmosphere.

So PJ sir..I hope you get a clearer picture of what I really meant.

I was just telling you about the scenario out here since you were wondering how things are done in other countries.

If my post offended you in anyway..which I had no intention to do so at all..I offer my humble apologies to you.

 

[P.J.]

renukaji

purpose of my post is to SHARE , repeat Share how many Indian Americans celebrate their kids birthday in US; Very rarely we are in India on Kids Birthdays, and when it happens we also make it a point to visit an orphanage and share their food with our kids, and get useful things for the orphanage ; on other occasions also, like we donate money and other things to an orphanage.

The thought of earning Puniyam never occurs to us when we do such acts.

 

[auh]

We pay for prasadams to be distributed through a temple on important occasions, apart from some homan or puja in our family.

It is not necessary that birthdays have to be celebrated in orphanages to get the feeling of sharing. For that matter, it is not necessary to celebrate at all. This "sharing" is a new concept and probably is copied from the "west". Nothing wrong in sharing after all, but I have seen many of my colleagues' kids get unduly rough and agitated when they do not get presents or when a "sharing" party is not arranged. This actually, in many cases, makes the kid quite arrogant as he thinks to better his friends' parties with his own (as he grows up).

A quiet visit to a temple or a special prayer at home is a good way, imo, to recognize (not celebrate) birthdays.

Making donations and such acts of charity on individual's birthday would only inflate the ego rather than anything else. Acts of kindness are equally valid on any other day, and imo, better done than on a birthday.

 

[renuka]

renukaji

purpose of my post is to SHARE , repeat Share how many Indian Americans celebrate their kids birthday in US; Very rarely we are in India on Kids Birthdays, and when it happens we also make it a point to visit an orphanage and share their food with our kids, and get useful things for the orphanage ; on other occasions also, like we donate money and other things to an orphanage.

The thought of earning Puniyam never occurs to us when we do such acts.

Dear PJ sir,

I understand what you mean..yes there are people who are in sync with Karmanyevadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadacana but some are Phala Shruti hungry.

There is a community out here where I live who only makes donations on Navaratri that too only for their own community and actually publish their acts of charity on the newspapers saying that they donate on Navaratri cos the returns will be 9 fold!

So PJ sir..what I wrote is purely from my experiences with acts of charity out here and not about what happens in India.

 

[sangom]

We pay for prasadams to be distributed through a temple on important occasions, apart from some homan or puja in our family.

It is not necessary that birthdays have to be celebrated in orphanages to get the feeling of sharing. For that matter, it is not necessary to celebrate at all. This "sharing" is a new concept and probably is copied from the "west". Nothing wrong in sharing after all, but I have seen many of my colleagues' kids get unduly rough and agitated when they do not get presents or when a "sharing" party is not arranged. This actually, in many cases, makes the kid quite arrogant as he thinks to better his friends' parties with his own (as he grows up).

A quiet visit to a temple or a special prayer at home is a good way, imo, to recognize (not celebrate) birthdays.

Making donations and such acts of charity on individual's birthday would only inflate the ego rather than anything else. Acts of kindness are equally valid on any other day, and imo, better done than on a birthday.

I am seeing that kids have even started comparing who gave what kind of present/s or gifts to their friends on the birthday parties. Aping the westernized Indians for whom PJ seems to be singing paeans, some young parents here (mostly the IT sector) open bottles of Champagne - which I am told is costly by Indian standards - and the small kids are now talking of how many such Champagne bottles were opened in their b'day party!!

When people like PJ who are ready to extol the west-aping Indians and also indicate tangentially that his family, children, etc., are "sufficiently" westernized - the surprise that I get is whether such people are not more potent BBs or even Indian-bashers!!

I suggest that people who get carried away by the "western mania" read the book "Becoming Indian : the unfinished revolution of culture and identity by Pavan K. Varma" enguin books

 

[P.J.]

renukaji
you need not offer any apologies to me; I am not affected by any comments.

Treasure Hunt on Birthdays for kids is really fun, Try that on your son's birthday , he will like it. once he grows up, he might not show interest in int.

Birthdays for kids are very special and as they grow old, they celebrate it in a different way.

 

[Raji Ram]

............. Birthdays for kids are very special and as they grow old, they celebrate it in a different way.

You said it P J Sir!

Parents arrange for kid's birthday parties and hence the kids don't have any choice.
But, when they grow up they have their own way to celebrate it. arty:

Parents' job is just to give gifts + new dress + money and bless them!

 

[P.J.]

Raji madam

up to a certain age Kids do not have a choice in many matters, but they starts likes and dislikes very early; kids here in US wish and express how their birthday is to be celebrated as they also attend their friend birthdays.

They see how their friends celebrate , of course, arranged by their parents only , in different play areas like swimming pool, Soccer grounds, Jimboree, and other places.

The Treasure Hunt by the Kid is very interesting , for kids, that's why i suggested that.

Hiding the Gifts in different places in the house, with a clue to each item , which will lead to the next gift is very interesting to start the Kids Birthday.

Here in US, there are many special places designed only for conducting kids Birthday party; I am sure you will one day attend such fun filled birthday of your grandson in US, and probably remember this post.

https://www.google.com/search?q=Tre...kFsfd2QXbrYG4BQ&ved=0CFQQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=657

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHnxpcBT1SQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKx3mI9O6HY

 

[padders]

Let me add my two-cent bit for whatever it's worth!
Here in the Middle east, or at least in Dubai, kids' parties are celebrated in a fast-food joint, like Pizza Hut, Hardees, etc. This is true for kids of all nationalities. As they grow older, they obviously prefer spending their birthday with a friend/friends, watch a movie, go to the ice-rink, etc. These celebrations are not too expensive. But I've seen some local parents who have lavish themed parties in five-star hotels for their kids, complete with a magic show, clowns, etc. I'm not judging- each one to his own!
Are our kids too westernized? Well, what is the meaning of the word "westernized." Is it derogatory? All I know is that children are obviously influenced by their friends, and if you live in a multi-cultural society, it's inevitable. And kids who live in India obviously go through the same peer pressure that kids anywhere else in the world go through.

 

[auh]

Well, what is the meaning of the word "westernized." Is it derogatory?

No, it is not derogatory, but when the term is touted to mean something lofty than any other "eastern" (if I may say so) concept, or when used to compare, then probably, it might just rile up a section of the intellect. Anyday.