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simplify and cheapen the last rites

My periyappa was a wadhyar. He toiled hard to bring up his children. By God's grace, most of them retired from high positions in different firms. He used to tell me, "when you give dakshina to a wadhyar, remember me." So, I am reasonably liberal in giving dakshina.
On the other side, as time progressed wadhyars are not so economically weak. Many of them have cars and even AC bedrooms. I have some specific examples from Kerala to substantiate this. But for ethical reasons, i cannot reveal their names.
There are always democratic ways of dealing with wadhyars who charge exorbitantly. One wadhyar in Kerala used to charge very high even if the person cannot afford it. People boycotted him and he has very less practice now.
In Kerala, some Samoohams (organisations dealing with spiritual aspects of brahmins) tried to fix dakshina for each ritual which the Samooham wadyar can charge. One wadhyar responded, "then, if for any ritual more priests are required (like rudrekadasi) you will arrange for them." Another wadhyar in another Samooham said, "what you fix must be the minimum. If a person wants to give more, he should be allowed." Intentions of such wadhyars are clear.

In a reply to another post, I said that when someone dies, the wadhyars charge anything from 1.5 to 2.0 lakhs. Some Samoohams arrange the entire 13 days rites on a fixed charge. Then the rituals and materials for the rites will be of very low standard.

Recently, when my brother's wife died, one of my cousins commented during a discussion, "These are all only beliefs. You can do what you like." I immediately challenged him asking him to advise my brother to stop all rituals forthwith. He did not reply.

Most of us have a fear that in the case of the dead, if we do anything wrong, we will be punished (pitr dosham). As long as this fear exists, it is very difficult to reform these rituals.
 
Most of us have a fear that in the case of the dead, if we do anything wrong, we will be punished (pitr dosham). As long as this fear exists, it is very difficult to reform these rituals.
You hit the nail on the head.
I remember a poem ( I can not find a citation)

Marno bhalo Videsh kO, Jahaan an apno Koi
Mati Khaye janvara, Maha Mahotsavv Hoi.
 
My periyappa was a wadhyar. He toiled hard to bring up his children. By God's grace, most of them retired from high positions in different firms. He used to tell me, "when you give dakshina to a wadhyar, remember me." So, I am reasonably liberal in giving dakshina.
On the other side, as time progressed wadhyars are not so economically weak. Many of them have cars and even AC bedrooms. I have some specific examples from Kerala to substantiate this. But for ethical reasons, i cannot reveal their names.
There are always democratic ways of dealing with wadhyars who charge exorbitantly. One wadhyar in Kerala used to charge very high even if the person cannot afford it. People boycotted him and he has very less practice now.
In Kerala, some Samoohams (organisations dealing with spiritual aspects of brahmins) tried to fix dakshina for each ritual which the Samooham wadyar can charge. One wadhyar responded, "then, if for any ritual more priests are required (like rudrekadasi) you will arrange for them." Another wadhyar in another Samooham said, "what you fix must be the minimum. If a person wants to give more, he should be allowed." Intentions of such wadhyars are clear.

In a reply to another post, I said that when someone dies, the wadhyars charge anything from 1.5 to 2.0 lakhs. Some Samoohams arrange the entire 13 days rites on a fixed charge. Then the rituals and materials for the rites will be of very low standard.

Recently, when my brother's wife died, one of my cousins commented during a discussion, "These are all only beliefs. You can do what you like." I immediately challenged him asking him to advise my brother to stop all rituals forthwith. He did not reply.

Most of us have a fear that in the case of the dead, if we do anything wrong, we will be punished (pitr dosham). As long as this fear exists, it is very difficult to reform these rituals.
Very Well Said.
But all these rituals/fears are mostly restricted to Brahmins.
I have seen in several places beyond the Vindhya Ranges, that they dont complicate the death rituals like this. The funeral is performed with the "Rama-Nama' on everyone's lips and then the sixteenth day ritual is performed with their rituals.
Once both the parents reach the Divine Abode, the fmily goes to Varanasi and Gaya to ofeer their obulations to the departed souls.
Even here, their rituals are quite simple. They go in a huge group and engage one local priest. Probably he may not be highly educated, but whatever Mantra he say sis repeated devotedly by the family.
Then with great devotion and faith they take their bath in Ganga.
At Gaya, I have seen these poor people offering just plain rice mixed with Til as their offering to the departed souls.
Ultimately it is Shraddha that counts, more than the rituals.
 

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