Virtual namaskarams to all the periyavaa in this forum. I have been a relationship with this Telugu Brahmin boy and we have been together for 10 years now. We have told our parents that we are interested in getting married recently.
I want to start out by saying that I definitely intend to marry this guy. At the same time I happen to be a Tamil Brahmin of Koushika Gotram, which is the same Gotham as my partner. This is a problem to get married according to Brahmin traditions and vaideeham. I have heard of what my options are from our family sastrikal and they have told us that either we get married in a simple Temple wedding, or my parents will have to give me up in daatu ceremony so that somebody else can do the kanniyadanam.
It is very important that my parents are the one to do the kanniyadanam. I am not able to picture it happening another way and it is very important for me to honor my parents as I am their only daughter and I think they should get to do kanniyadanam in their lifetime. While I do not intend to break up with my partner of 10 years over this issue, I want to make sure that 20 years down the line when I'm older, I am satisfied that my parents got their due respect from their only daughter and I also have my tradition honored by having a Tamil Brahmin wedding. Temple wedding is always an option but I don’t know why I shouldn’t try everything possible so I can marry this boy without sacrificing my parents role or the traditional marriage ceremonies of my culture.
I know I’m trying to ‘have it all’ but the way I look at it, if not for the sagotram issue, every bride and groom do ‘have it all’ as in, have everything goes on normally in the wedding without making heartbreaking sacrifices. So my question is, is there a workaround apart from the daatu ceremony that someone can advice me about? Is there any information that I could know beyond the two options our family sastrikal gave us? Any advice is very welcome. Thank you.
I want to start out by saying that I definitely intend to marry this guy. At the same time I happen to be a Tamil Brahmin of Koushika Gotram, which is the same Gotham as my partner. This is a problem to get married according to Brahmin traditions and vaideeham. I have heard of what my options are from our family sastrikal and they have told us that either we get married in a simple Temple wedding, or my parents will have to give me up in daatu ceremony so that somebody else can do the kanniyadanam.
It is very important that my parents are the one to do the kanniyadanam. I am not able to picture it happening another way and it is very important for me to honor my parents as I am their only daughter and I think they should get to do kanniyadanam in their lifetime. While I do not intend to break up with my partner of 10 years over this issue, I want to make sure that 20 years down the line when I'm older, I am satisfied that my parents got their due respect from their only daughter and I also have my tradition honored by having a Tamil Brahmin wedding. Temple wedding is always an option but I don’t know why I shouldn’t try everything possible so I can marry this boy without sacrificing my parents role or the traditional marriage ceremonies of my culture.
I know I’m trying to ‘have it all’ but the way I look at it, if not for the sagotram issue, every bride and groom do ‘have it all’ as in, have everything goes on normally in the wedding without making heartbreaking sacrifices. So my question is, is there a workaround apart from the daatu ceremony that someone can advice me about? Is there any information that I could know beyond the two options our family sastrikal gave us? Any advice is very welcome. Thank you.
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