Rituals

[kayemm57]

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Sir
Can any one help me .My father in law expired on 15/02/2019.I am doing the karma.,as he has no son.Is there a sodhakumbam on 12th day.Our Vadhyar says we should.My family elders say in our house there is no such thing on 12th day.
Dr.K.Mahadevan
Coimbatore

 

[kgopalan]

SIR, KINDLY TELL US ABOUT YOUR VEDAM AND SOOTHRAM. AND ALSO YOUR F-I-LAW. ON TWELFTH DAY ONE HOMAM IS THERE. AND THEN ONE BRAHMIN SHOULD BE FED. HE IS CALLED AS OTHTHAN. YOUR VADHYAR MIGHT HAVE TOLD THIS AS SODHAKUMBAM BRAHMIN.

 

[Sudsankaish]

Sir,

My Father-in-law passed away on 13/02/2019 and his rituals for 13 Days was performed by his son (My brother-in-law) without his wife's participation, who is a non-brahmin. The Vaadhyar had clearly told my brother-in-law that his wife cannot participate as she is not a brahmin. Brother-in-law is clearly upset with the Vaadhyar's dictums and is taking a stand that unless his wife is allowed to participate he would not perform the Maasikams, Sothakumbams and Oona Maasikams that follow for the next one year. He is quoting the Veda Vaakyam "KARMA, DHARMA PATNIYA SHA KURYAATH", which means it is imperative that all karmaas have to be done with the association of one's wife only. Is he justified in expecting his non-brahmin wife be permitted to participate in the rites?

 

[Raji Ram]

Rules depend on the chief sāsthrigaL and it is true!!

 

[Vishnampettai]

Sir,

My Father-in-law passed away on 13/02/2019 and his rituals for 13 Days was performed by his son (My brother-in-law) without his wife's participation, who is a non-brahmin. The Vaadhyar had clearly told my brother-in-law that his wife cannot participate as she is not a brahmin. Brother-in-law is clearly upset with the Vaadhyar's dictums and is taking a stand that unless his wife is allowed to participate he would not perform the Maasikams, Sothakumbams and Oona Maasikams that follow for the next one year. He is quoting the Veda Vaakyam "KARMA, DHARMA PATNIYA SHA KURYAATH", which means it is imperative that all karmaas have to be done with the association of one's wife only. Is he justified in expecting his non-brahmin wife be permitted to participate in the rites?

Personally think you should change the Vadiyar. There are several vadiyar's who will allow the wife to take part.Particularly in the time of death any Wife should be allowed to take part irrespective of caste or religion. At least for humanitarian grounds.But at time of death that is inhuman and insulting to the widow who has lost her husband and is in mourning.

Personally I know of a Vadiyar who refused to perform a marriage for a Brahmin boy with a girl of another religion.But that is different ,I would respect him for it.

 

[Venkatesh Vadhyar]

Personally think you should change the Vadiyar. There are several vadiyar's who will allow the wife to take part.Particularly in the time of death any Wife should be allowed to take part irrespective of caste or religion. At least for humanitarian grounds.But at time of death that is inhuman and insulting to the widow who has lost her husband and is in mourning.

Personally I know of a Vadiyar who refused to perform a marriage for a Brahmin boy with a girl of another religion.But that is different ,I would respect him for it.

I understand your situation. But Vadhyars are guided by Smrithis and Shastras. If you are in doubt or confusion, I would suggest you consult Acharyal in Kanchi mutt, instead of seeking option from onlookers.