The above posts remind me of the time when I was pregnant with my second child and my best friend's (neighbour) father expired. I was advised by many (nearly every one!) not to go her house! But I did go and was there throughout, consoling her.
My child has turned out to be a healthy one! And my friend appreciates me till this date about how I was there for her! Luckily, I have a nice husband who thinks along my lines!!
Kind regards
valli,
i think you touched the key there with reference to your husband.
srisan's concern, may not only from his viewpoint, but also how his periappa's family would view it, and how he could respond to them.
in my own case, my dearest uncle died one and half years ago. i went only after 15 days to india, to spend time with my aunt for a week, and also avoid the crowd and the rituals.
it so happened, that this january, was the first anniversary and i was in chennai. my aunt invited me for the function, and i excused myself -because i am so removed from religious rituals, practices and also due to my lifestyle (no poonal etc.).
my aunt, would have none of this - she said that my uncle loved me above everything, and so did she. none of my (non)beliefs or lifestyle mattered to her.
what mattered was that i should attend. with that much affection, i could not say no.
though i am no fan of thevasa saappaadu, i went and partook the feast. so did my spouse.
let sri verify with his periappa family, and if everyone is ok with it, go visit them.
death, does bring out strange behaviours and fears in our community.
