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Parents against marriage

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
Even brahmin girls suffer getting married to brahmin boys. Many would prefer NB boys who would like to marry them and be treated like queens . They cater to all their wishes and exhibit them like tropies won.As a consequence brahmin boys are not getting brahmin girls for marriage
 
When hormone surge is there, when the girl is not matured in her frontal cortex (decision maling, planning..) they will fall in love with any one who shows concerns for them. It is after the marriage and with a child, all hell will be loose. Exceptions are about 5%. Nonbraman girls have to totally change to adopt to the Brahman way of life, rituals etc., which is unfortunately can not be avoided. Meat eaters will have more trouble. Cooking without too much Garlic is another problem. But, after a long time there will be equality in the next generation. Brahmin girls adopt and tolerate some nonsense, but control the husbands. Such husbands are usually white foreingers who value women. There is nothing wrong or right about marrying other castes but the price will be higher than if a normal average marriage between two from the same caste. We are not yet reeady and economic pressures will bring about the changes.
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
Well articulated.
Karnataka minister has opined that most modern educated ladies prefer to remain single ;stay away from parents and not raise kids.
Feminists are up in arms against him
It brings us to the issue what do women want.
Only they know .
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
We of last generation are lucky.
Our women were submissive raised families managed both career and home put less demands on menfolk.
Many were with sacrificial mindset .
TIimes have changed. The need for women to have a more equal relationship with menfolk is putting a lot of pressure on men.
Status of men have got reduced a lot and many have ended as kitchen utencil cleaners and baby sitters when women pursue their career goals aggressively.
Manyy women have become CEO of companies and hold other top positions in MNCs
Women have preferance for whitemen who give them more personal space.
Some would like to run away to the west and US and lead a better life .
India is no longer a good place for working career women
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
Caste and religion issues continue to harm women who choose their own mate based on their own preferances .
Families and near relations harm them and prevent them from exercising their freedom of choice.
India is no longer a place for self willed educated modern women.
We may be a shade better than neighbouring countries as we enjoy a measure of freedom and rights to exercise our choice.But there is a risk of harm from near and dear relatives.
Those high on social status get away but for others freedom is only a myth.
 
Well articulated.
Karnataka minister has opined that most modern educated ladies prefer to remain single ;stay away from parents and not raise kids.
Feminists are up in arms against him
It brings us to the issue what do women want.
Only they know .
This trend is also obsorbed in USA and in Western countries. If women work and also have to do more than 50% of house chores and also be available for sex at all times - when they are tired of raising children, they prefer to remain unmaaried or get a donor's eg implanted without any in-laws around. Men should also understand the physical and psychological limits of women. By nature they nurture but enough help will be needed. Men should take Psychology and Home economics, cooking to understand women for a hormoneous life. Men will change whether they like or not. Is possible? In my own family we all help our mother, wives etc., and we have about 90% harmony. Women's vanity is something involving expenses some times need to be controlled as they almost always want look attractive and be appreciated. So, if a women is a "Devi" or "Mudevi" depends on the devotees.
 

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
This trend is also obsorbed in USA and in Western countries. If women work and also have to do more than 50% of house chores and also be available for sex at all times - when they are tired of raising children, they prefer to remain unmaaried or get a donor's eg implanted without any in-laws around. Men should also understand the physical and psychological limits of women. By nature they nurture but enough help will be needed. Men should take Psychology and Home economics, cooking to understand women for a hormoneous life. Men will change whether they like or not. Is possible? In my own family we all help our mother, wives etc., and we have about 90% harmony. Women's vanity is something involving expenses some times need to be controlled as they almost always want look attractive and be appreciated. So, if a women is a "Devi" or "Mudevi" depends on the devotees.
Again that is misleading analysis.
Labor force participation:

India 2019 21%
United Kingdom 2019 58%
United States 2019 57%

Women in India have more burdens to bear than in western countries.
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
Labour force participation for women could be much more. Women go the fields alongcwith men for work. Women in urban areas opt for house cleaning and cooking collecting as much as 6 to 7 k a month . Baby sitters collect as much as 15 k / month. .These are the rates in my apartment block in bangalore.
Due to pandemic male labour is not getting work.Auto drivers are idle or only minor work.
Mostly women run their homes on their money.
They are the most exploited class
 
Again that is misleading analysis.
Labor force participation:

India 2019 21%
United Kingdom 2019 58%
United States 2019 57%

Women in India have more burdens to bear than in western countries.
Reports which are not peer reviewed and published in reputable journals based an actual field work are just a hearsay. Analysis is based on personal experience and what is learned from people involved in these observation. To believe or not is a choice each one have to make. Disagreement does not change the facts and only a few selected data is used. There are strata - upper class with money, upper class, upper middle class, middle class, creamy lower class and so on. No statistical data exits that shows the differentiation and where the results could be applied. The average height of 3 months old child and a 45 year old man and a women can not show the average height. That is why, with out saying labor force participation is 21% in India is vague - what do they mean? working at home taking care of children and sick in laws, working in the office without any burden. So, the acceptance or rejection becomes a personal choice and there is no inherent misleading analysis as there is no monetary gain or any reward is involved.
 

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Reports which are not peer reviewed and published in reputable journals based an actual field work are just a hearsay. Analysis is based on personal experience and what is learned from people involved in these observation. To believe or not is a choice each one have to make. Disagreement does not change the facts and only a few selected data is used. There are strata - upper class with money, upper class, upper middle class, middle class, creamy lower class and so on. No statistical data exits that shows the differentiation and where the results could be applied. The average height of 3 months old child and a 45 year old man and a women can not show the average height. That is why, with out saying labor force participation is 21% in India is vague - what do they mean? working at home taking care of children and sick in laws, working in the office without any burden. So, the acceptance or rejection becomes a personal choice and there is no inherent misleading analysis as there is no monetary gain or any reward is involved.
My report was from

India's female labour participation rate falls to 16.1% as pandemic hits jobs

Female labour participation rate in India fell to 16.1% during the July-September 2020 quarter, the lowest among the major economies, a government report said, reflecting the impact of pandemic and a widening job crisis.

The percentage of women in the labour force had fallen to a record low of 15.5% during the April-June 2020 quarter, when India imposed strict lockdown to curb the spread of COVID-19 virus, said the report, released late Monday by the Ministry of Statistics.

According to World Bank estimates, India has one of the lowest female labour force participation rates in the world. Less than a third of women – defined in the report as 15 or older – are working or actively looking for a job.

The female labour participation rate in India had fallen to 20.3% in 2019 from more than 26% in 2005, according to World Bank estimates, compared with 30.5% in neighbouring Bangladesh and 33.7% in Sri Lanka.


Most employed women in India are in low-skilled work, such as farm and factory labour and domestic help, sectors that have been hit hard by the pandemic.

 

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
A few days ago, a comment by the BJP’s newly-appointed Uttarakhand Chief Minister Tirath Singh Rawat about women wearing ripped jeans created massive outrage in social media. But, from the perspectives of the economy and public policy, perhaps the more salient comment was made by Rawat’s cabinet colleague Ganesh Joshi, who reportedly said: “Women talk about all the things they want to do in life, but the most important thing for them is to look after their family and kids.”

Joshi was not voicing a rare sentiment. In 2013, the head of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh Mohan Bhagwat had said: “A husband and wife are involved in a contract under which the husband has said that you should take care of my house and I will take care of all your needs…Till the time the wife follows the contract, the husband stays with her; if the wife violates the contract, he can disown her.”


To be sure, this understanding of a woman’s role in Indian society is not limited to any one group or political party. Such conservative/orthodox beliefs, as well as violence against women, are often held as the main reasons why very few women seek any employment. That is why India has one of the worst labour force participation rates (LFPR) by women.

As the chart below shows, at 21% India has one of the lowest female participation rates in the world. In other words, 79% of Indian women (aged 15 years and above) do not even seek work.

1-17.jpg
India has one of the lowest female participation rates in the world
Countries with which Indian typically compares itself — such as China, the US, Indonesia, and Bangladesh — have two-to-three times higher participation rates for women.

Worse still, it is not the case that India is behind just a handful of countries.

As the chart below shows, no matter which cluster of countries one compares with — high income or low, highly indebted or least developed — India comes off worse. India’s 21% female LFPR is not even half the global average (47%). The bottom of this chart further underscores the poor company India keeps in terms of freedom for women.

2-16.jpg


 
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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
No place for women: What drives India’s ever-declining female labour force?

LABOR FORCE
The Labor Force Participation Rate for Women Is Declining
India’s economy is growing, with an increasing GDP and a working-age population expected to climb to over 800 million people by 2050.

Despite this growth, less than one-quarter (20.3%) of women aged 15 and older participate in the labor force as of 202020 (compared to 76.0% of men).

Women account for only 19.9% of the total labor force in India.
India’s low labor force participation rate for women is due in part to restrictive cultural norms regarding women’s work, the gender wage gap, an increase in time spent for women continuing their education, and a lack of safety policies and flexible work offerings.
Recent job stagnation and high unemployment rates for women, exacerbated by the Covid-19 pandemic, also keep women out of the labor force.
Rural women are leaving India’s workforce at a faster rate than urban women.

 
A compresensive unbiased scholoars independent of government and research oriented, can alone answer the question. Surface level reasons are purely speculative. Collectiving unbiased statistical data on a multi demintional form alone can answer these questions. It will take along time to find the true reasoning.
 

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
A compresensive unbiased scholoars independent of government and research oriented, can alone answer the question. Surface level reasons are purely speculative. Collectiving unbiased statistical data on a multi demintional form alone can answer these questions. It will take along time to find the true reasoning.
All my postings are from reputable agencies, generally accepted standards.
You might have some special criteria. can you specify your criteria? Even Lord Krishna was not unbiased.
 
The criteria is some one who does basic research on sociology should take up this topic and work out the details. Since research very low priority or not at all in India, we can not expect reliable, verifiable and repeatable data to validate the findings. Opinions by media are always to make waves for commercial purposes. Then, the research results are submitted to internal body where three anonymous referees in the same field approve the findings. If you recall bias against Brahmans are not validated by research but opinion in the media by crooked politicians. History shows the same. So, when we read even scientific articles we have to take it with a pinch of salt unless we are also basic scientist. A basic scientist discovers say, there is an animal which is an ancestor to the living Elephants and the applied scientist and media will report that African Elephant is about 4 inches taller than the Indian Elephants. He or she then will become an (self proclaimed) authority and start bluffing.

We can see this in our Universities, because both common man and the Universities or research institutions do not care about quality. With basic and fundamental research without bias, neither out intellectual wisdom nor prosperity will advance. I will give two examples that was shared with me by one Professor R. Narasimhan around 2006 before his death in Bangalore when I had visited with him through a mutual friend. He said that there was one Dr. Ramasubramanian along with a colleague investigated how “Speech” was produced and he generated Tamil speech with l, lz ( ல, ள, ழ ) etc., and demonstrated at the 2nd Int. Conference and showed us the sample speech, first of it’s kind the world at that time. The same Prof. also had produced string, wind and struck Instrumental Carnatic music first of its kind in India. Nothing was reported in the media as they did not understand how original and deep was the research. These are documented but do we know about them? Thus, original research in any field by a scholar on his own will can only answer many of our questions, rest are mere hearsay.

This is not to offend you, rather sensational media reports are biased and to be treated with caution and they are not Bhagavat Geeta of sociology. I was fortunate to get a copy the speech and music synthesis in 1969 and 1971 from the son of the researcher living in USA. They are here with attached.
Here is an Obo - a wind isnrument whose onoy pshycial characteristics were used to produce Ninnukori instrumental music even though the Prof did not know to play it or has even seen one. That is BASIC research.
 

Attachments

  • Synthtic OBO_Music_Ninukori.mp3
    3.8 MB · Views: 0

vgane

Well-known member
Gold Member
I am interested in a girl(who is also a brahmin) , but my parents are against it since her brother married a widow and my parents say her family are outcastes now. My parents are orthodox . Is what my parents saying correct according to Hindu Dharma Shastra? Since her brother married a widow does it make them outcastes?
Due to change in circumstances please do your best to convince your parents...If not able to convince and if both of you like each other please go ahead and marry the girl...Your parents may see reason and accept at a later date...Wishing you all the very best..
 

vgane

Well-known member
Gold Member
I am interested in a girl(who is also a brahmin) , but my parents are against it since her brother married a widow and my parents say her family are outcastes now. My parents are orthodox . Is what my parents saying correct according to Hindu Dharma Shastra? Since her brother married a widow does it make them outcastes?Try to convince your parents
Try to convince your parents. If not and if both of you like each other then please go ahead and marry. Time may be the healer and your parents will accept. Already our community boys and girls are in not getting married within the community due to various reasons.
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member
Sometimes as parents all of us should also "unlearn".
Unlearn from always putting our happiness- sorrow, gain -loss, victory- defeat in the scenario when it comes to our children.
Its so obvious old age doesnt always translate to less
" I "ness in us.

Once a person gets married, then the parents start wanting grandkids, and if the daughter in law cant conceive then its all anxiety and stress.

We humans are a weird lot..we never actually imbibe anything in the religious text.

We keep saying the world is transient yet we hold on to it to carve our desires on its transientness.

I recently met an elderly lady a widow with 6 grown up children who were all married.
She spends her time praying and staying on and off at an island here which is well known for being a centre for religious activities.

She uses her time to deepen her knowledge in religion.

I guess as we humans age our focus should be more on our selves as in aligning ourselves with God and only be guide to our children if they require our help.

If one believes in Karma, then we should know that each one of us has our own path and even as parents once the kids are adults none of us can shape their karma.

Again its strange..none of us humans apply all these principles in our lives.
 
Parents belong to a previous generation can not be changed. One way to frighten them (if you are not looking for inheritance of land, house or other real estate like jewlery) should tell, look I am planning to get married to a Kashmir Muslim girl and convert into Muslim religion. hat shock will do the trick. But, having said, mothers who have a strong Y" chromosome of the son, will always treat him as stupid or naive will decide what is allegedly good for him. Messed up families will always apologize later when it will be too late. No method exist as of now to change their mind. About 5-10% (no actual statistics is there) will accommodate minor differences but those with a deep fear that they will go to Hell (in which they are currently living) and will be blind for the rest of their life.
 

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