My Pursuit - 2 (Redefining what I thought needs to be done)

[Krishnan.vp]

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My very first post in the My pursuit threads..

My Pursuit

Hello, This thread is and will be about my trials as I try to pursue what i think is a true service to our brahmin community. Who am I: Abhivaadhayae. Athreya, Aarchanasva, syavaswa, threya rishayae, Pravaran-nidhaha, Athreya Gothraha, Aabasthambha sootraha, yadhushyaa gaathyayae, Sri...

www.tamilbrahmins.com

heartwarming to say the least. It gave me energy to refocus as someone had liked this post now

 

[Krishnan.vp]

My unsent schizophrenic email to babu and astrology as a science

Thank you for your text saying that you understand my concerns.. specifically towards my father.

As for other things, you make fun as rajini, kamal, vimal when I talk about satva, rajo and tamas and other science related to our religion. I also know you do not accept fully that my saturn is looking bad for the next 5 or 6 months when my ardhastama sani will end or that I will have raja yoga for the next three years after that. But I believe this.. unlike a poster in tamilbrahmins above who consulted the americunt google and came upon the premise that astrology is not a science.

So let us try to put it in words that we all understand. It is the year 2022. the americunts have had much practise in cutting it close to snatch the match at the last moment. right? And we dont know how to get out of this .. right?? well, if not astrology, let us talk politics.

Right now the americunts are strong. this is my ardhastama sani. Next year after ardhastama sani, my raja yoga starts.. next year 2023 is going to be elections in the americunt country. If we survive the next 6 months. This issue will be the single biggest influencer in the americunt elections.. forget the tri-state influencing the elections. If we manage to play it slow on this track, there is a possibility that the right people gain power in the US elections thereby putting a full stop to this whole privacy intrusion thing. If the right people come to power, it is not only me who is home free, it is also good for the entire world. So you see.. the raja yoga starting next year is going to be true after all.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

For more than 50 years since the last world war, the americunts have interfered in the internal affairs of all countries around the world. Now all the countries will interfere in the internal affairs of the americunts. Every immigrant in americuntry will be a spy. who will you track, who will you spy on.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

something snapped inside me today and I screamed at my father.. but.. I will not go to australia simply because they have better medicines and are better coordinated.

Although I am sincerely grateful to Australia and Singapore..

I am Indian.

This is India.

This is where I will fight and die.

Vande Mataram.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

Family Vadhyaar or Family Pandit
--------------------------------------------------

In those days every family had a family pandit who advised them regularly on the puja/punaskarams that they had to do for their well being. He was also their family astrologer. You see astrology is the effect of the planets on your specific life.. It is like studying what effects the medicines have particularly on you. Although medicine is well studied and documented, a particular medicine can still have the wrong effect on you or could give you just that particular nagging side effect which kills the advantage of that medicine. To counter this is the reason we have family physicians where we have a fixed doctor to whom we go to regularly. This is because we realise that the doctor has been treating you for sometime and knows our body and family circumstances to prescribe the medicine which not only cures us but also matches our cost of living and other things.

Similarly the study of astrology also, inspite of being well studied and documented in the vedas, still needs to be applied to your singular life at any point in time. This means that you should talk to an astrologer who knows your life for sometime and has seen the effect of different planets on you during the different planetary alignments so far in your life. But with the waning interest and faith in hinduism people stopped aspiring to have a family vaadhyaar or pandit, mostly because of the hectic speed of our lives today, no one just has the time to sit down and have a chat with the family pandit. The fact that we also need to pay a few rupees to him also pinches us although it is also a fact that the pandit is usually happy with the cost of one of our dinners on a night out.

In my mothers time, there used to be our own family astrologer. I dont know what happened to him. Might be that he has passed away. This is the reason why i have to now search for astrologers who predict correctly for me. Usually a good astrologer before reading your chart will ask you about big events or turning points in your life and looks at your chart to see the effect of the planets that caused it. Just like a physician would first ask you about any major ailments you have had and the medicines you had taken. But nowadays due to everyone running after money and everything becoming a business, astrology also has become big business and the astrologers just churn out what the person wants to hear just to get the wallet out. This should not be the case.

We should somehow return to having a family pandit or a family vadhyaar just like we have a family physician. I promise you a family pandit or vadhyaar comes at a much less monetary cost when compared to a family physician.

Yes, I realise that what I have written above is pretty drab and you are possibly wondering why am I writing it now. But I thought adding this small point now after the fire and brimstone message above will hopefully hook your brain on to the concept of having a family pandit or vadhyaar. Will it work? I dont know. Lets see.

I personally am going to call the astrologer who I have been consulting since I returned to india in 2015. For all practical purposes, he is my family astrologer as he has already seen me go through a bit of ups and downs in the last 8 years. He is the one who suggested that I might end up having people from high offices taking note of me. i.e.. other than the facebook astrologer in 2018 who wanted me to start exercising because after mar 2020 my life was going to turn around and am going to have girls queueing up for me. hahahahaha.. But the facebook astrologer also asked a variety of questions about key events in my life and the timing like when did I first travel outside my country, any deaths in family, any major accidents I faced and what time, when was my first job, etc..

I am sure that after reading this post, atleast 40 percent will try to find a vadhyar who can be called their family pandit. But for how long will he be your family vadhyaar and will you persist with this relationship to gain profits over the course of your life and that of your family..?? that is the question. Even if 10 percent return to the fold of family pandits and gain from doing their karma on time like I do with my family vadhyar who is now helping me do my mothers karma, I would think my job is done.

But yes, please try to have a family pandit or vadhyaar. Even if not for your personal liking, you might actually be feeding a brahmin family who has no other profession.

Thanks and yes..

Vande Mataram.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

Please choose a vadhyar closer to your life style.. ie. if you own only a two wheeler choose a vadhyar who has a two wheeler and not one with a maruti suzuki car. This is so the vadhyar can better understand your daily life and provide you with better customised advices. Remember.. even the demons or asuras have a brahmin vadhyar of their own.. his name is sukran.

 

[a-TB]

I have not read and following all the posts. One thing you may want to do is to test your assumptions. You are an intellectual and have a very good reasoning mind,

1. Do vedas really have astrology sections? If so where? You will find none
2. There are veda angas (add on) that do have Jyothisham as one of the topics. But it was mainly astronomy (so rituals can be done on time regardless of outside conditions like rain etc). It has morphed into predictions. The predictive interpretation is only to the extent of neutralizing one's vasanas. Today;s astrology as practiced has no connection to the origial Jyothisham, In fact, lots of Doshas were invented in the last 50 to 60 years (like Kala Sarpa Dosha)
3. Most astrologers are not experts in Sanskrit.
4. Astrology is not science and has not been validated except via personal anecdotes.

Please go ahead with your beliefs but at least think about those beliefs to see if they are rooted on right assumptions.

Often things are cited as vedic origin when it is not so and that is a disservice to the vedas and the rishis who revealed them

Best wishes

 

[renuka]

I have not read and following all the posts. One thing you may want to do is to test your assumptions. You are an intellectual and have a very good reasoning mind,

1. Do vedas really have astrology sections? If so where? You will find none
2. There are veda angas (add on) that do have Jyothisham as one of the topics. But it was mainly astronomy (so rituals can be done on time regardless of outside conditions like rain etc). It has morphed into predictions. The predictive interpretation is only to the extent of neutralizing one's vasanas. Today;s astrology as practiced has no connection to the origial Jyothisham, In fact, lots of Doshas were invented in the last 50 to 60 years (like Kala Sarpa Dosha)
3. Most astrologers are not experts in Sanskrit.
4. Astrology is not science and has not been validated except via personal anecdotes.

Please go ahead with your beliefs but at least think about those beliefs to see if they are rooted on right assumptions.

Often things are cited as vedic origin when it is not so and that is a disservice to the vedas and the rishis who revealed them

Best wishes

I guess you are aware that Krishnan ji has his share of struggles.
Astrology might not be a science in your opinion...that is totally fine but if Astrology can help give Krishnan ji some relief,why should anyone try to convince him to not believe it?

It could help him deal with issues he faces.
The human mind just needs one point to focus on..so go slow please...a little compassion helps heal everyone.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

Altruism
---------

If today was my last day on earth.. what would I do?? I will eat.. I will eat a full banana leaf meal. And sleep to dose out the high sugar shooting upto my brain from all that rice. but after that.. what will I do??

I will probably try to do something good.

This is also depicted in the western science of psychology as a triangle. The base of the triangle is food, clothing and shelter. The next step above which is shorter than the base is possibly a phone, internet connection and a television set. The next step above is something more innovative which you can buy.. but eventually the thought turns outward.. to what we can do for society. I believe that I am able to think about society and make these posts because my food and shelter is taken care of .. Now that I am taken care of, can I do something that will take care of other people and make them also think outward.. in an altruistic manner at society.

Let us see..

I have already written about the need for pension, a minimum wage and housing or possibly medical insurance for all. Yes, I had talked about a job seeker program like that in australia. But can we make this program slightly adjusted at the edges to make sure that every person has food shelter and clothing. If so.. how? Now let me think. When you think about Food shelter and clothing the first thing that comes to mind is money.. where will I get the money. But from the story of narasimma we know that hiranyam or money is the source of all evil. How do we take that out of the equation? Should govt provide for everything blindly?? If so, who will pay the govt to pay the people? It is said that death and taxes are the only sure things. So can we use taxes?? But how? arent taxes already too high and back breaking to just about everyone?? too many questions.. ok. lets change tack. Ask the basic question. How do we clear the lowest rung of the psychology ladder which is provision of food, clothing and shelter.

obviously we dont want to hand out money or hand out money to a minimum extent so that people dont simply spend the money on drugs and alcohol and sleep on the streets.

So that brings us to the question of what is the minimum money that a person requires.. In australia, the government has calculated it as 1100 to 1500 AUD per month. How did they arrive at this calculation? possibly a delegation from the ministry of external affairs of india could meet with the australian embassy people and figure out a way for knowledge transfer. But it would be ideal to see if we can figure it out ourselves.

so lets see what we have on hand.

we get ration.
we get 100 units free electricity.
I almost forgot.. the amma unavagam or amma kitchen. that was a super duper idea by Jayalalitha our erstwhile CM. But the problem is presentation and the image of 'only for poor people' made it impossible to be a leveler.
of course amma marundagam or amma medical shop is also there but what we need is overall basic medical insurance free of cost to low and middle income people.. not for people whose earnings are above 10 lakh surely.

what amount of money if given on top of this would make it sufficient for a person to live in an average household.

so what is the average rent, if we were to dole out money, we need to know that amount of rental allowance that we need to help people find proper accommodation. In an area like triplicane in metropolitan chennai, it is anywhere between 12000 to 15000 for a 2bhk. In a B centre like coimbatore, the rent is anywhere between 6000 to 8000 for a 2 bhk. But of course, the govt cannot pay for a 2bhk to every family there is, then the govt will deewal aidum.. or will go bankrupt. But can we provide for a 1 bhk rent, say 2500 rs per month for a family of 3 or 4 and with increase in number, a certain increase in assistance like 250rs per additional person in the family. If there are elders in the family, it should be encouraged that they stay as a united or joint family for better development of the younger kids or the next generation.. so some incentive for keeping the elders at home would also be ideal. say a 1000 rs more if grandma and grandpa are at home with you making the rental allowance 3500 rs per month. And this amount should only be dispersed on authentication with a rental agreement and a monthly rental receipt. This can be paid along with the ration in the ration shops after checking the ration card like the last time they paid 2500rs for pongal to every family with a ration card. Just like palm oil is an option in the ration card menu, we can have rental assistance as an option for low income group people in their ration card, this will not be available to others like my family where we are eligible only for sugar, toor dhal and palm oil and nothing else.

the next thing would be medical insurance, so the poor can also get access to medical support. It actually surprises me that in a country of billion people, where the government has a proper income tax regime and is earning money from various sources, private hospitals are able to provide better care and facilities than government hospitals. Isnt this glaring. where did the private hospitals get so much money from? Shouldnt the government be the highest earner of all the people in india? where from a private person or private group found a hospital and bring in all these expensive medical equipment?? Should the government not have more financial might than an individual tax payer or a tax paying trust or company which runs a hospital?

who has the guts to ask the above question in chennai? well, i dont even have to guts to ask why madras was renamed chennai.. but seriously.. how come there are all these expensive hospitals functioning in our cities when the average royapettah general hospital is not able to provide even better quality needles to the syringes they use on babies?


Now.. before being too harsh on the government.. lets take a step back..

this and I mean the above situation has been existing for decades now. This system has to be broken. But who will have the guts to tax the super speciality hospitals appropriately and provide better equipment to all the general hospitals across the state. will it be the current stalin or will it be annamalai in the next elections.. only time will tell. but what is clear is that we in tamilnadu are very much near to a life like in australia, melbourne. All we need is the medical system to be cleared up and the general hospitals should be the ones with better equipment and better doctors. Then we need the small help of rental allowance for the low income group like bus drivers or auto drivers, hotel labourers, market workers. etc.. We already have ration which is available year round therefore we do not need dole money to be handed out by the government like in australia. If we look at singapore, the government hospitals are the best in the country, no private hospital can beat them by as big a margin as can a private hospital in india. But yes, the ration shops quality can be improved.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

Mann Ki Bhaat
----------------------

when modi first started the concept of mann ki bhaat over all india radio, i thought.. wow.. I too would have liked to do the same. I think to a certain extent it has achieved what modi wanted.. in that, every month he is in touch with the people.

But I would like to add a little bit to that. why are the people not in touch with modi like modi is in touch with the people?

Actually, all state leaders/Chief ministers can do this. ie. they can have a "talk to your state" show on Doordarshan say every first sunday at 10.00 am where the state premier will first express what has been done in the past month just like in mann ki bhaat and then he will field questions from the public of his state through a toll free number which anyone in the state can dial. Doordarshan channel because it is the government expressing what it has been doing, not a private person. Therefore the news should be released to the government run channel, not a private channel whose ratings and returns will gain inappropriately from government work by reporting on government news.

If the questions are fielded sincerely and the callers name and village are publicised so that the public can verify if the query was resolved or not, we are already on our way to developing our state. Not only this, the popularity of the state premier or chief minister or indian prime minister will also increase. This will create the image of mudhalvan movie in everyones heart and pride for the state premier all around. quite cinematic, yes?? but this can be done in real life. All that is required is a little guts on the part of the state premier or CM to face questions from the common man for an hour on live TV every month. Of course there will be crank calls and some bad apples, but if the premier is able to take it on his chin like a fighter and produce solutions to everyday problems of the common man in tamilnadu, that would be the start of something really big. We can have half hour for what progress was made in the last month between 10 and 10.30am , then, between 10.30am and 11.30am the CM can field questions from the public directly.

Can the above be done? Technically it can be done. But will the right people have the guts to ask for it and will the right people do it? This remains the question.

 

[a-TB]

I guess you are aware that Krishnan ji has his share of struggles.
Astrology might not be a science in your opinion...that is totally fine but if Astrology can help give Krishnan ji some relief,why should anyone try to convince him to not believe it?

It could help him deal with issues he faces.
The human mind just needs one point to focus on..so go slow please...a little compassion helps heal everyone.

The original post was ONLY due to concern for well being of Mr Krishnan. I like his openness and has good intent in the heart, Rather than divert this thread into different kind of discussion let me leave the topic as is,

 

[Krishnan.vp]

Data:

The current people in power had not used firmware or android and did not spill their personal secrets online when they were growing up. Therefore they are able to take good strong and independent decisions. Now, the kids who are born since 2000 are born not with a silver spoon but with a silver android phone. They have been spilling their most private conversations online including their preferences for cartoons. When this batch grows up to be 40, the problems will start. Since all their data is chronicled in american servers, their life can be manipulated very easily. When I was in the US, a guy surreptuously dropped the name 'sneha' when talking over the phone to me. I got scared. Sneha is a feminine name and is not a common name for a guy that too in the United states. But he was saying that it was his name. Sneha Latha was the name of the girl from my college who studied with me. Sneha had emailed he when she came over to USA to work. She was the only girl who sent her photo to me over email and asked my photo in return. Essentially, anyone reading my emails would have easily pointed out that we were slightly on better terms than other friends. Since my emails were stored on american servers, they were able to find this data and use it to scare me.

Now think about the kids growing up since 2000, we are not talking about them sharing their college life, we are talking about data on their childhood friends and teenage secrets. What do you think will happen when such data is stored in american servers. This is a matter of national security for every country outside the USA. The americans can easily drop another name stefanie to the next australian PM in 2040 and happily that will coincide with his first crush who he expressed his love to over the phone through a series of heart symbols on whatsapp. We do not yet know if the Australian PM would then be afraid or angry at a threat to his privacy. But what if he becomes afraid because stefanie was not a crush but a illicit relationship a la Bill clinton sex saga. would he be willing to change national policy to retain his seat?? only time will tell. It is not only australian, it is also indian, france and british. Or has it already happened? Why did Scott Morrison suddenly scuttle the billion dollar submarine deal and signed the AUUKUS deal to make submarines.. There was no immediate threat to the nation and there were no visible cracks with the french. Then what caused such a drastic action which had such an international and national falling out. Was scott morrison surreptuously threatened like I was threatened in US with the name Sneha?

We have to clear our personal data in american servers before the magic number of 2035 because that is when the year 2000 generation will start coming to power and will be gaining powerful positions in different governments and government secret agencies as all of them will be 35.

When the edward snowden saga came out in 2013, there was a vote in the US congress on whether the government should store the personal and phone data of average people, it did not worry about foreign citizens but it indicated only US citizens. The worlds citizens were second class according to them and did not even figure in the conversations. But that particular vote lost by a margin of one vote and it was decided the NSA will continue to store personal data flowing across the internet, well technically they were talking about telephone call data happening inside the US but it was extrapolated to all data by the american spy agencies. There was also talk about where this data will be stored. Whether the keys to this data will be with the government or the telecom companies will be tasked with storing this data. I dont remember what the eventual decision was.

But what is sure and utterly important at this time is that we ensure that we clear American servers of our citizens personal data. This is critical for the independent functioning of all the nations on earth. I hope the five eyes also realise that their indepedence is also under threat from the all seeing american servers eye a la the eye in the lord of the rings. Pun intended.


Please dont get distracted by other salivating news tomorrow such as I relieved myself or other things. What I have written here is very important. Action has to be taken now.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

How to reduce the harshness of the effect of the planets on me - have a family??

If I remember right, my father was also undergoing 7.5 years of sani at the time my 7.5 years of sani started in 2009, being of the same family, it had hit us extremely hard. Now, can it be that, if i have a son whose chart is such that it can negate my next 7.5 years of sani, then the harshness of the planets on me would be mellowed down because of the combined astrological planetary effects of my son and me? But how can I determine how my sons planetary status will be when he is born. Isnt it karma and gods will?

let us look at folklore and see.. there is the story of indrajit and ravana. Ravana had pulled all the planets into the house of gains when indrajit was born so that he would be unbeatable.. but still fate played its part and sani put his left foot out and caused the horoscope of indrajit to become faulty leading to the untimely death of indrajit in the fight with rama.

There is not only the story of indrajit and ravana.. there is also a lesser known story of a great sage when crossing a river in the middle of a storm realises that if he had a son now then that boy would be a great person and so he copulated with a fisherwoman in an island in the middle of the river to produce the son. The son lived on to be someone .. who I dont remember but it was a great person.. I am sure others can remember this story.

I am just sitting here wondering.. with the advancement in science..

nope.. it will not work.. our panchangam itself has not been updated for the last 200 years and there is still confusion between usage of vakya and thiru ganitha panchangams.. how can we even hope the calculate the correct horoscope, much less calculate the time of birth for producing a given horoscope.. its just too complicated and cannot be done. And like in indrajits story, fate will take a hold eventually and in the appropriate time.

So lets not play god and go by our fate. Only asuras think they can play god.. humans and devas accept what has been given to them accepting the greater plan of the supreme being.

No. we should not do it. We might mistakenly invite some amaanushya demonic soul to come down to earth to live amongst us. I should never have written this and the concept of creating a birth chart to manipulate the life of the next soul or aathma.

Let me write something lighter to distract from this..

 

[Krishnan.vp]

My mother died in my hands. When she was dying, I asked her if I can bring Assam as it would be helpful to have a woman around when a lady was sick. At that time, my mother had already lost her ability to speak and swallow. Only her eyes moved. She looked at me and gently shook her head 'no'

My mother died and opened my eyes.

How can I deny my mothers last wish and marry assam now?

 

[Krishnan.vp]

I am posting this here not because my mother died and opened my eyes. But because I am trying to open your eyes

Somehow I smell a lot of fishyness in the AUUKUS and how it was formed in very less time just like that without proper consultation among the ministerial cadre. I know that most bills are not fully read and I seriously doubt that the AUUKUS which was rushed through in a blink of an eye was fully read either. That too at the cost of an international relationship and billion dollar deal with France. When did europe become a football you can toss around? I am a australian pr and I am worried if we just wrote away our privacy to the americans who are known to be snivelling slippery eels. Or are we being forced to collude with the americans to spy on the rest of the world through that treaty. God knows, But I dont know if scott morrrison was really threatened or not but the thought did cross my mind because I myself was threatened with the simple name of my friend from college.

 

[Krishnan.vp]

Here I go again on my own.. or so the lyrics go..

I was basically schizophrenic mad since May end when I wrote all those posts.. As you can see towards the later stages when the schizophrenia worsened, I could not hide or mask it as well as I did initially and I clearly spelt out the hatred for americans. I even started a My pursuits 3 thread where I clearly referred to the voices in my head.

I think in mostly the same way as the hero in "A beautiful mind" except he thinks of russians as the enemy and I think of americans as the enemy.

Now I have been stable since about Oct 29th. I have been recouping with a bunch of or cocktail of meds which makes me sleep the whole day. I am in chennai and I am ok. I just emailed my diploma providers whether I can continue my discontinued diploma which I left when my mother was sick and later passed away. They said they will look into it once I reach melbourne and come to their office.

Basically what happened was this...

I was stopped from boarding a connecting flight in singapore changi airport when I was trying to return to Chennai for my mothers first masyam. Since it was only for a short time and i already had clothes and personal usage articles both in melbourne and sydney, I did not take any luggage or hand luggage and on reaching changi airport which was the transit point I got a web checkin for my next flight which was indigo airlines to chennai from singapore. But the team that was present in the boarding point would not allow me to board. I had the bloody boarding pass on my phone and I did show it to security but they said I needed to get the paper boarding pass and there they stuck to that point. I could do nothing except watch as the indigo airlines took off. I then had to clear immigration reach the singapore airlines desk and book another ticket to chennai. At that time I did not know what balance was there on my credit card and was damn scared but luckily the ticket was paid and I returned. that pressure point was what kick started my paranoia that people were watching me because I was the only passenger who was seen arguing and everyone else boarded the flight. Although I was not even shouting, it could be clearly seen that I was in some trouble to the on lookers. I clearly told the security and the boarding team about my mothers maasyam and why I was going in a hurry. To make matters worse, when I was going to board the singapore airlines plane they cordoned off the area and had a huge security group there.. god knows why they were there but since I over think everything and have schizophrenia, i thought they were there because of me. In the real world, a passenger with no luggage and basically a brown coat on his back making a transit through an unknown airport would have scared anyone and this premise set off alarms in my head too. Somehow I was cool enough to board the plane after a security search and reach home and sleep. But the incident basically acted as a trigger to a slow and painful slide down to full blown schizophrenia which took hold around mid June when my father reminded me to go back to australia.

On the lighter side..

Well, since I have a thing about astrology I looked into it as to why things were no looking up yet even though my budhan dasa had started and it seems that i have been going through ardhastama sani for the last 2.5 years which is when my budhan dasa started which thus cancelled all the plus points. well now, sani is going to the 5th house on jan 17th. Hopefully this will not be another false start to my good life.. the pointers are that it will be a quiet and smooth life from here on.. the diploma people asked me to come and see them.. which is good.. the diploma is in early childhood care so I will be a kindergarden teacher in about 6 to 8 months once I rejoin them in april next year after finishing my mothers aabdheegam.

Lets see..

 

[Krishnan.vp]

End of another year.

End of another depressing year. I did not work since July because I was schizophrenic. But somehow I concentrated on researching the forex market even thru my illness. I now have two ideas I would like to try in the new year in trading forex. But I dont have any money. I have exactly 99 USD in my trading account and just about 1065 Rs in my indian account. Currently staying at home all the time, not going out because I would then need money for basic transportation as a first step and eventually further steps. My father has already begun to say that I should walk to wherever I want to go instead of using uber. I only used uber moto once which is the cheapest to go and eat a buffet and my father was at my neck for spending that money. So like raghuvaran in VIP I simply swallow my pride and keep quiet. You must be wondering why I dont go out and get a job. Its because my head cleared up in November first and october last week only and I am still confused even if I goto mount road and the confusion kills any and all happy thoughts that I may have and pushes me to depression. This also means I am unable to take firm decisions like should I go to australia and I end up asking everyone what to do. The first few times they entertain it but then the others also get bored and start avoiding me.

Its downright shitty. Its like that mid 90s pepsi advertisement with the kid going.. "Mera number kab ayega??" in all innocence.

A bit on the serious side and leaving the funny bone alone. I have been trying to learn basic astrology and sanskrit too but discontinued both because I am unable to concentrate. But basic astrology tells me that something has to give in 2023. Its because even though my favourable dasa bhudhan or mercury started in 2020 the first two and a half years was ardhastama sani. Its like although you get married your wife is having her periods just now. But now, saturn is going to poorva punya stana for me from Jan 17th, and the other two major planets Guru and Rahu/Ketu which take the longer time periods around the sun are also positive. Its like .. if nothing happens now.. I dont know when. Even sukran is positive from dec 30th today. The Thula rasi youtube videos are all screaming that I will be a koteeswaran in this time passage. And here I am with out money and all alone by myself. The only two people who cared for me and took the time to say two words aadharava were my mother and my grandmother.. both are gone now. Even if I were to become a koteeswaran I wonder if it will be of any use.

Lets see I will try the forex trading ideas this January 2023.