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Mottai

Swarna77

Member
Hello..

I am Swarna , I am a female blessed with a complete family, we are basically Tamilian Brahmins (Iyer's).

I was born & brought up in Indore (MP). My family is semi orthodox. It means we are 30-40% morden as per present world & 60-70% orthodox . In terms of culture, custom, tradition & rituals & values.

As if of now till now we have gone through Mottai as an offerings at lord's feet as a part of custom.. tradition... culture... rituals...or as an offerings at lord's feet...for some genuine reason for doing so...or for fulfilling some vow... With full devotion...with full submission...with full involvement & with out any hesitation....as an offerings at lord's feet at spiritual places tonsuring place.

Few days ago I shared & discuss our such Mottai experience with some of my friends who are living in South India...in Tamilnadu.. when they heard about our Mottai... which was done by me as well...they were shocked & surprised...& They said...how you can get Mottai done being a tamilian Brahmin... Iyer... No Iyer females will ever get Mottai...they said inspite of living in Tamilnadu they never seen any Iyer females getting Mottai done...

Their such statement has implemented lot's of quarry in my mind.. coz... Since childhood we are doing these rituals wholeheartedly along with family as an offerings at lord's feet at spiritual places tonsuring place... with full devotion.. with full submission..with full involvement...& Without any hesitation.. as an act of devotion... Considering it as part of our culture... custom.. tradition.. rituals & family values..

So please clear my quarries regarding such things...

Anyone from Tamilian Brahmin family (Iyer's) as well tell about such rituals.. which we are following since generations..

Regards

Swarna
 

Lotusinsanskrit

Active member
In these modern times one need not worry about mottai (and whatever they say is somewhat ok with the then generations where mottai to married females related to widow after husband's death how young they may be). So that ritual gone with earlier generations and this modern generation cut hair in whatever fashion they want and they fix sentiment only with this mottai. So don't worry about it.
 
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Swarna77

Member
In these modern times one need not worry about mottai (and whatever they say is somewhat ok with the then generations where mottai to married females related to widow after husband's death how young they may be). So that ritual gone with earlier generations and this modern generation cut hair in whatever fashion they want and they fix sentiment only with this mottai. So don't worry about it.
I am not worried about Mottai...

I just need to know exactly about... culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals..

As if of now we have gone through Mottai various times at various spiritual places tonsuring place for various reasons...

So my main question is... As we are doing so... As per our community...is it okay for getting Mottai done as an offerings at lord's feet...

Coz since childhood we have seen such things happening at the time of various occasions & rituals... wholeheartedly... with full submission & with full involvement as an act of devotion...

So as a Tamilian Brahmin.. as an Iyer ... We can perform such rituals or we specifically have any kind of restrictions from our community..that females of our community can't do such kind of offerings..
 

usaiyer

Active member
what your friends told about south Indian Brahmins on
Mottai Matter is correct ,as far as I know! You can also talk to
other brahmin households from your area and get clarification.
 

sankarcs

Member
Your statements indirectly welcomes acceptance of your action. (full devotion, 30-40%,fulfilling some vow etc). One should take a vow which is accepted to his culture. South Indian Brahmin brahmin ladies do not have mottai. The only mottai used to be at the age of 2. Only widows should have mottai which is also compulsory.
 

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
Tonsure is NOT done for baby girls, in many Kerala Brahmin families.

Time has changed and it is not done even for widows.

I have heard from my great-grandmother that when a young widow has tonsure, in her younger days, older males used to address her as "mo**ai pātti"!
I consider them sadists!
 

sankarcs

Member
"Tonsure is NOT done for baby girls, in many Kerala Brahmin families".

True. But many ancestral families perform Tonsure for baby girls too once between the age 2 and at a Holy place like Tirupathi, Palani and not at their family deity.

After that cutting the hair even for an inch should not be done.
 
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Swarna77

Member
what your friends told about south Indian Brahmins on
Mottai Matter is correct ,as far as I know! You can also talk to
other brahmin households from your area and get clarification.
It's not a thing started by me.. in most of our families we are following such rituals of giving hair as an offerings at lord's feet for some genuine reason for doing so...as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals... At spiritual places tonsuring place...

Amongst our families... Almost every one amongst us has gone through Mottai as an offerings at spiritual places... for their own reasons.. as part of culture.. custom.. tradition..or rituals..

& We all are Tamilian Brahmin.. Iyer's

Mainly this thing came into my mind when some friends said that how come inspite of being tamilian Brahmin (Iyer's) you are getting Mottai done...

& I was really surprised to hear such statement from them.. as offerings at lord's feet is not done on cast or community basis...

It's done just as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...as an offerings at lord's feet...

As an act of devotion..with full submission...with full involvement...& Without any hesitation..

By giving hair as an offerings at lord's feet... it's actually as like surrendering our pride...our honour..our ego...& Our beauty symbol.. with full devotion & submission to the divine power...
 
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Swarna77

Member
Your statements indirectly welcomes acceptance of your action. (full devotion, 30-40%,fulfilling some vow etc). One should take a vow which is accepted to his culture. South Indian Brahmin brahmin ladies do not have mottai. The only mottai used to be at the age of 2. Only widows should have mottai which is also compulsory.
But...in my family...I have such rituals being performed at various reasons...as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...

Even my Grand Amma..my amm..my aunt's..my cousin sister's...me.. & infact.. after marriage in my in-laws family as well..my mother in law.. my sister in law's as well has gone through Mottai... different times..for different reasons..but as an offerings at spiritual places.. which is said to be...as an act of devotion..as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition.. rituals..or for fulfilling some vow..

At the time of kids first Mottai ceremony it's been done along with family..

At the time of ear piercing ceremony.. it's been done for kids.. ( if first Mottai ceremony & ear piercing ceremony not conducted combindly)

It's been done at the time of Nose piercing ceremony... which usually is performed before attaining teenage... before age 12... usually it's been performed around age 11-12..

I am not talking anything...on imaginary situation.

I am saying about what I have seen & what we are doing..

Amongst above I too have gone through Mottai at the time of such rituals...

At the time of my kids first Mottai ceremony...it was done along with us..
 

Lotusinsanskrit

Active member
But...in my family...I have such rituals being performed at various reasons...as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...

Even my Grand Amma..my amm..my aunt's..my cousin sister's...me.. & infact.. after marriage in my in-laws family as well..my mother in law.. my sister in law's as well has gone through Mottai... different times..for different reasons..but as an offerings at spiritual places.. which is said to be...as an act of devotion..as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition.. rituals..or for fulfilling some vow..

At the time of kids first Mottai ceremony it's been done along with family..

At the time of ear piercing ceremony.. it's been done for kids.. ( if first Mottai ceremony & ear piercing ceremony not conducted combindly)

It's been done at the time of Nose piercing ceremony... which usually is performed before attaining teenage... before age 12... usually it's been performed around age 11-12..

I am not talking anything...on imaginary situation.

I am saying about what I have seen & what we are doing..

Amongst above I too have gone through Mottai at the time of such rituals...

At the time of my kids first Mottai ceremony...it was done along with us..
When we give answer diplomatically you want precise answer and when people give precise answer 'no' you wanted a convincing answer. I hope you should not have raised this question when you are convinced with your action.

And don't say it is ritual custom etc etc because it is not in Tambrahm culture but you people stayed away you have followed practice by seeing others in other states.
 
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Swarna77

Member
When we give answer diplomatically you want precise answer and when people give precise answer 'no' you wanted a convincing answer. I hope you should not have raised this question when you are convinced with your action.

And don't say it is ritual custom etc etc because it is not in Tambrahm culture but you people stayed away you have followed practice by seeing others in other states.
I don't wanted to convince... I just described things...coz since generations we are following these things...as rituals.. culture & custom...

Considering that it is to done & it should be done so..

But this quarry came in my mind.. just coz..my friends said.. that usually tamilian brahmin are not performing such rituals of getting Mottai done...

But we inspite of being tamilian brahmin we are following & performing such rituals of getting Mottai done as an offerings at spiritual places... Since generations...

I have posted this post... just to geather exact information & exact details about performing these rituals.. custom & tradition....

As if of now I can just geather information to enrich my knowledge on these things..

I can't go & fight with my family.... that why they have done so & all...

As if of now I can't reverse what happened in past.. but by exact knowledge of everything regarding such rituals.. culture.. custom or tradition... I can present my opinion as per my knowledge...in future..if any such things happen in future
 

sankarcs

Member
When we give answer diplomatically you want precise answer and when people give precise answer 'no' you wanted a convincing answer. I hope you should not have raised this question when you are convinced with your action.

And don't say it is ritual custom etc etc because it is not in Tambrahm culture but you people stayed away you have followed practice by seeing others in other states.

Agreed with you. She should not have raised this question/doubt when her family followed a particular culture and she is going to continue with that. While replying, a person used to spend some time than reply typing. If it is going to be waste good helpful people rethink about replying genuine needs of others. In a society whether one does good or not, one should not be reason to prevent others doing good.
 

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
I too feel that this thread was not necessary, when one has been following a custom for generations!!

May be she needs approval and / or appreciation from members, for her tonsure??
 
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Swarna77

Member
I too feel that this thread was not necessary, when one has been following a custom for generations!!

May be she needs approval and / or appreciation from members, for her tonsure??
If you can't understand... My simply & directly said quarry... Then I must say.. you are just stucked around your own thought process.. & you are actually not trying to understand... what exactly I am trying to ask / know/ understand...
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member
But...in my family...I have such rituals being performed at various reasons...as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...

Even my Grand Amma..my amm..my aunt's..my cousin sister's...me.. & infact.. after marriage in my in-laws family as well..my mother in law.. my sister in law's as well has gone through Mottai... different times..for different reasons..but as an offerings at spiritual places.. which is said to be...as an act of devotion..as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition.. rituals..or for fulfilling some vow..

At the time of kids first Mottai ceremony it's been done along with family..

At the time of ear piercing ceremony.. it's been done for kids.. ( if first Mottai ceremony & ear piercing ceremony not conducted combindly)

It's been done at the time of Nose piercing ceremony... which usually is performed before attaining teenage... before age 12... usually it's been performed around age 11-12..

I am not talking anything...on imaginary situation.

I am saying about what I have seen & what we are doing..

Amongst above I too have gone through Mottai at the time of such rituals...

At the time of my kids first Mottai ceremony...it was done along with us..
I guess if it makes you happy then stick to it.

Hair grows back so no issues.

Just to add In Gita Krishna says Patram ,Pushpam, Phalam and Toyam.

No mention of hair.
 
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Swarna77

Member
I guess if it makes you happy then stick to it.

Hair grows back so no issues.

Just to add In Gita Krishna says Patram ,Pushpam, Phalam and Toyam.

No mention of hair.
Thanks for giving such suggestions...🙏

But still... My main question is here itself...

I never done it as liking or for happiness... I had given so considering it to be as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...

But recently I herad with some of my friends that in Tamil Brahmins....this rituals are usually not followed by females...

But in my family we have gone through Mottai as an offerings at spiritual places as a part of custom.. tradition..or rituals...

I am not thinking or worried about what happened in past..

My intention of creating this thread is just to improvise my own knowledge ...on our culture.. custom.. tradition or rituals..
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member
Thanks for giving such suggestions...🙏

But still... My main question is here itself...

I never done it as liking or for happiness... I had given so considering it to be as a part of culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...

But recently I herad with some of my friends that in Tamil Brahmins....this rituals are usually not followed by females...

But in my family we have gone through Mottai as an offerings at spiritual places as a part of custom.. tradition..or rituals...

I am not thinking or worried about what happened in past..

My intention of creating this thread is just to improvise my own knowledge ...on our culture.. custom.. tradition or rituals..
Agreed, but you do see that the replies you got from most members is that Tonsure isnt really practiced by females from the Tamil Brahmin community.

Also I have noted Tonsure for females for religious purposes is mostly not done in the North of India.. not sure why..North had Muslim invasion and Islam forbids female shaving head and also we see in North women cover their head at temples and funerals..could be Islamic influence cos in South women dont cover their head for prayers and funerals)

So there are regional variations too.

Anyway, finally its up to you and God.

But honestly speaking what answer were you expecting from members here?

Were you looking for some confirmation that custom done by your family is acceptable?

Most answers here are saying that its not practiced by Tamil Brahmin community..so what is your decision after seeing the answers here?

Are you planning to stop your family practice or are you planning to continue it?
 
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Swarna77

Member
Agreed, but you do see that the replies you got from most members is that Tonsure isnt really practiced by females from the Tamil Brahmin community.

Also I have noted Tonsure for females for religious purposes is mostly not done in the North of India.. not sure why..North had Muslim invasion and Islam forbids female shaving head and also we see in North women cover their head at temples and funerals..could be Islamic influence cos in South women dont cover their head for prayers and funerals)

So there are regional variations too.

Anyway, finally its up to you and God.

But honestly speaking what answer were you expecting from members here?

Were you looking for some confirmation that custom done by your family is acceptable?

Most answers here are saying that its not practiced by Tamil Brahmin community..so what is your decision after seeing the answers here?

Are you planning to stop your family practice or are you planning to continue it?
Thanks ma'am 🙏
 

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
Dear Renu,

I think the OP needs a few of us to appreciate her dedication!

Unfortunately, many members wrote against this practice.
 
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Swarna77

Member
Dear Renu,

I think the OP needs a few of us to appreciate her dedication!

Unfortunately, many members wrote against this practice.
Mr. Raji Ram...

First of all... Before passing any comments on anyone... You should learn to understand the situation & statements...

Have I said anyone to appreciate for what it's been done in past...

I just told my situation... Referring from my past experiences...

I am not here for any kind of appreciation...

I was here & posted this thread..to improvise my own knowledge regarding all such things...

I wrote in my first thread very clearly...
That anyone specifically from Tamilian Brahmin (Iyer's) can also tell me about the rituals.. which we are following since generations considering it as part of our culture.. custom.. tradition & rituals...

So.. Mr. Raji Ram.. who so ever you are.. you have not got any rights to pass such comments on anyone.. especially to a female...

I posted thread here just considering... Here there would be educated & understanding people like "Renu Ma'am".. who atleast tried to understand my situation & what exactly is going on in my mind...

Mr. Raji Ram.. I hope you are also an educated person... But should atleast learn being polite with others.. & if by any chance you can't be polite... or you can't understand others situation... You should better be quite..
Rather than trolling anyone... without knowing or understanding their situation...
 

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